Bu Tian Gang Ch32

Author: 梦溪石 / Meng Xi Shi

Translator: Kinky || https://kinkytranslations.com/


Chapter 32: His original form must be very fat, tender, and delicious

Cartoon images are much easier to draw than realistic versions. With a few strokes, everyone’s charm could be sketched out, and then appropriately exaggerated. Each character’s unique attributes jump out on paper, making it difficult for people to forget. Dong Zhi became more excited and started drawing four-grid comics while giving everyone a fictitious name. He then retouched the pictures and uploaded them to his social media account.

His social media account was originally used to post original artwork from <The Great Wasteland>. Although he didn’t verify his account, his post was often retweeted several times by the official <The Great Wasteland> account that eventually, over the past few years, many gamers recognized that he was the main artist for the game. When he posted his resignation, many of the comments were full of regrets.

Dong Zhi posted the comic and couldn’t think of a good name for it, so he simply and crudely wrote: [The Incident Book of the Relevant Department for Subduing and Eliminating Demons]. Finally, drowsiness had caught up with him. He turned off the computer, laid down, and shortly fell asleep.

In the days that followed, his life was simple. He was either practicing his talisman technique on the rooftop or drawing comics in the dorm.

He not only drew himself but also included He Yu and the others. He Yu liked his style and expressed his joy at becoming the protagonist of the comic. He also took the initiative to provide some jokes and plotlines and urged Dong Zhi to update daily. Zhong Yuyi had also shown great interest in it. Kan Chaosheng was extremely dissatisfied with his character, seeing that it was a cat instead of a more majestic creature. Eventually, he coerced Dong Zhi to change him into a dragon, saying that even if he couldn’t be one in reality, it’d still be a good addition to his comic!

As for Long Shen… Dong Zhi didn’t bother harassing him with such trivial matters, as a Deputy Director already has enough on his plate.

The response to his comic was a bit unexpected. Originally, he only drew it for fun and the comments were cute and jocular, but gradually, his comics were retweeted and spread and attracted more readers, causing the number of his fans to increase at a rapid pace.

The story he uploaded today was provided by He Yu. It was a case that he encountered when he was an intern at the Northwest Branch.

There was a girl who often had strange dreams. At first, she didn’t pay much attention to it, until later, when she discovered that her dreams were prophetic. For example, one day she dreamed that there was a fire in the local area, and after a few days, a fire really did break out in the area that she dreamed it would. Another incident was when she dreamed that her classmate would get into a car accident, which was soon realized shortly after.

After a few times, the girl started to believe that she had this ability. Then one day, she dreamt that her father was pushed down the stairs and was seriously injured. When she woke up, she was frightened and told her father about her dream. Her father didn’t believe her and thought she was making a fuss. In the end, she had no choice but to follow her father around to ensure that nothing bad would happen to him.

It happened to be the day that her father was meeting with an important business partner. The girl strongly asked to go with him, and seeing that she could not be dissuaded, the father reluctantly agreed. The girl was ecstatic and went upstairs to dress up for the occasion. They lived in a two-story duplex, and her room was on the second floor. That day, she specifically changed into a new pair of high heels that didn’t fit her well. When she walked towards the stairs, she twisted her ankle and fell forward. Her father, who happened to be standing by the side of the stairs and had his back turned to her, was inadvertently pushed down by her and died on the spot as his head hit the floor.

The girl thought that she was going to save her father, but in the end, she was the reason that misfortune fell on him in the first place. It left her in utter shock. Due to the emotional toll, her mother suffered a heart attack and followed in her father’s footsteps a few days later, decimating the girl’s entire family overnight. Burdened by these events, she felt that she was the cause of all their misery and fell into a deep depression, eventually committing suicide by jumping into a lake. Fortunately, she was recused by a master of a nearby temple.

The master had some contact with the Northwest Branch and handed the case over to them. It was eventually transferred to He Yu because no one from the branch took it seriously. To them, it seemed like just an ordinary tragedy, but He Yu had doubts. After some investigation, he learned that the father had interfered in someone else’s way, causing them to suffer a substantial financial loss that indirectly caused their wife and children to leave them. The other party wanted revenge, so he did everything possible to destroy the father’s family. He eventually found a corrupted cultivator who recruited a dream demon. The dream demon entered the girl’s dream and reversed time, clouding the girl’s memories. While she thought she dreamt of the future, in reality, the events she dreamt about had already transpired. This led her to believe that she could dream of the future and that her dreams affected the real world.

They eventually found the businessman who hired the hit and tracked down the cultivator behind the demon and subdued him.

With He Yu’s consent, Dong Zhi adapted the case into a serialized comic with a cute style that showed off the protagonists’ daily lives. While he didn’t portray the story verbatim, the plot was still terrifying yet funny and caused so much excitement from the readers that they couldn’t stop chasing it. They constantly would urge him to release more content under the comments and he was even contacted by many magazines that wanted to publish his work.

The Master of Arts, Dong Dong Qiang, hadn’t successfully joined the Relevant Department yet, but instead became popular on the internet. However, he had no plans to commercialize the comics for the time being and continued serializing them on his social media account. He doesn’t update daily, as his focus was on preparing for the exam.

Soon, two months passed in the blink of an eye, and the day for the written exam had arrived. Because it was an independent recruitment exam, the date was different every year. This year, it would be held between June and July, the hottest time in the capital.

It was said that last year’s exam time coincided with an earthquake that happened in the southwest. Demons and monsters took the opportunity to run wild, spreading chaos and panic. Many sects regarded it as a good opportunity to train their disciples, allowing them to gather more experience, so many opted to skip the exam and took the chance to exorcise demons instead. In the end, the number of candidates for the final exam was barely five, and the number of admissions was zero.

This year the weather was good. Although there was an incident involving an Archfiend, the Special Administration Bureau quickly controlled the situation, so news of it did not spread widely. There were also those who failed the exam last year and signed up to retake it again. That, in combination with new applicants, had many of the exam participants hit a record high this year.

The examination venue was on the second floor. Dong Zhi went down early and waited outside the examination room. He was not the earliest, however. There were many others who came earlier than him. Since the examination room hadn’t opened yet, many were gathered outside, and some were dressed in exotic or ethnic clothing, and some wore Taoist robes. There were people of all shapes and sizes and ages, though most were young. He found in the crowd the fox boy he met when he first arrived, when He Yu was showing him around.

The fox boy’s nervousness was easily seen on his face, making him look more like an easily frightened rabbit than a fox. He was extremely conspicuous among all the candidates. Dong Zhi took the initiative to walk over to greet him. The other party still remembered him and asked with surprise and puzzlement, “Aren’t you a staff member?”

Dong Zhi laughed. “My friend is, but I’m not. This year is also the first time I’m taking the exam.”

Fox Boy: “Great, me too! My name is Hu Shua*. How about you?”

*(胡说) Translated means bullshit.

The name was quite interesting. Dong Zhi smiled as he said, “My name is Dong Zhi, referring to the winter solstice.”

Hu Shua was a chatty person. Meeting someone that he could talk to, he immediately opened up his chatterbox. “Ah, I just started reading practice books a few days ago. The elders in my family wanted me to take the exam, saying it was a good chance. Even if I can’t pass, I can always come again next year!”

Dong Zhi nodded. “I think so too. Don’t be too nervous, just acquire experience.”

Hu Shua said with a sad face, “But the questions are so difficult. There are words I don’t even recognize.”

Dong Zhi comforted him, “I heard that the scores in the written exams are generally not highly regarded.”

Hu Shua’s eyes lit up. “Really?”

“Really?” Almost at the same time, someone else said the same response.

Dong Zhi turned his head and found a man in national clothing. The other party gave him a smile and introduced himself. “Hello, my name is Ba Sang. Tibetan. You just said that the written test is easy. Is this true?”

Dong Zhi said, “The questions are the same as on the national exam, but the scores of the candidates are generally lower than on the national exam. I’ve heard that in previous years, the admissions standards have occasionally been lowered due to insufficient admissions, but this year there are so many people, so it should be more difficult, right?”

Ba Sang scratched his hair. “Ah, I am most afraid of the written exam!”

He looked to the side again and said, “Meiren1, how are you preparing?”

Beauty1? Where?

Dong Zhi followed Ba Sang’s line of sight and saw a girl with beautiful eyes, but whether or not she was a beauty was a matter of different opinions. He thought Ba Sang was flirting with her, but instead he introduced her to them. “Let me introduce you. Her name is Gu Meiren1, for the Dai tribe. She’s very good at playing the flute.”

1Clarity: [Gu Meiren] (顾美人). [Meiren] (美人) Translated means beauty. When Ba Sang first called out, he was calling her [Meiren] (her name), but to Dong Zhihe thought that he was calling some girl a “beauty”.

Gu Meiren nodded to them. “Hello everyone.”

Not only is her name eye-catching, but her voice was also very nice. However, her personality seems a bit cold. After everyone got acquainted with each other, they returned to discussing the exam. Hu Shua’s emotions had almost calmed down, but seeing more candidates gathered, his heart began to get anxious again.

“Do you know about the interview process? My cousin has taken the exam before, and he said that they ask questions during the interview?”

Ba Sang, who knew a bit about the interview, nodded when he heard those words. “The questions are different from the written test. The interview questions are more practical, testing your ability to respond on the spot and demonstrating what you’re best at.”

Hu Shua said nervously, “But I only know how to transform right now. Will I be able to pass?”

Dong Zhi was surprised. “Seventy-two transformations*?”

*(七十二变) Reference to Sun Wukong’s (from Journey to the West) ability where he can transform into different things.

Hu Shua laughed. “It would be great to have such a powerful ability. I only know two forms so far, and I don’t have time to train! What about you? What are your skills?”

Ba Sang and Gu Meiran were honest and had no intention of concealing their abilities. Ba Sang said that he could communicate with birds and other animals that could more or less understand him, while Gu Meiren said she could manipulate snakes with her flute.

Dong Zhi was amazed by their skills and felt that there were crouching tigers, hidden dragons1 among their compatriots, some of whom were even from an ethnic minority. Not mentioning others, by contrast, his own technique of cramming Buddha’s feet2 was difficult to master.

1Reference to the movie referring to hiding your strength from others. 
2(
时抱佛脚) Idiom referring to making a frantic last-minute effort. || He’s basically saying that while he just started a few months ago, these people have most likely been practicing their arts for years, if not all their lives.

“I only know a little bit of talisman art that I just got started with.”

Ba Sang was surprised. “Are you a person in a Taoist sect? Why not join them?”

Dong Zhi looked in the direction of his mouth and saw there were a lot of people gathered around the other end. Some of them were wearing Taoist robes or practice clothes, and others were in plain clothing.

Ba Sang said, “Some of them are from the Longhu and Maoshan Sect. I heard that they are both famous sects.”

Dong Zhi nodded. “Like thunder.”

He looked around and saw groups of twos and threes gathering outside the examination room. Everyone had their own cliques. Candidates from the Longhu Sect naturally gathered closer to each other, so most likely they came to take the exam together.

While everyone was in conversation, the bell rang and the examination room opened, which signaled the start of the exams. Everyone stopped chatting and formed a spontaneous line consciously as they went for inspection at the door.

Two young people stood at the door. One was checking everyone’s admission tickets, and the other was holding a detector scanning the candidates up and down. There was a middle-aged man standing at the door with his hands clasped behind his back, staring coldly at each of the incoming candidates.

“Do not bring irrelevant items into the exam. Abide by the orders of the examination room. All communication devices, such as cellphones, must be turned off and handed over at the podium… You, stop!”

Dong Zhi had just gotten his admission ticket back and was about to enter when he was startled as he heard this. Only when he saw that the middle-aged man’s gaze was falling behind him did he realize that the other party wasn’t talking to him.

The middle-aged man said coldly to the candidate behind him. “What do you have with you? Hand it over.”

The candidate stammered, “No, no!”

Middle-aged man: “You. Go search him.”

The staff member nodded, and as soon as he approached the person, the detector in his hand sounded.

Middle-aged man: “You want to be searched or do you want to take it out yourself?”

The candidate felt aggrieved and took out a talisman that was folded into a triangle from his body. “This is a peace talisman given to me by my mother. Do you have to confiscate this?”

The middle-aged man grabbed the talisman, took it apart without saying a word, and quickly took out a hidden talisman inside it. He squeezed it in his hand and shook it. Five white rays of light pierced out from his hand, fell onto the ground, and turned into five small white figures in the shape of children. He yelled twice, and they turned into smoke and disappeared.

Dong Zhi was stunned.

The middle-aged man sneered at the candidate, “Does your mother still let you use the five ghosts handling technique to keep you safe?”

As if the candidate was mourning the result of their exam, it seemed that they were on the verge of crying.

The middle-aged man looked around the crowd and raised his voice. “Last time a person who wanted to cheat with the five ghosts handling technique on the exam was disqualified for 30 years. If you have the mentality of using illegal methods to steal grades or test questions, I advise you to die as soon as possible! The bureau just imported this handheld detector from the United States. This kind of instrument is especially used to deal with vampires and black witchcraft over there. It’s a waste to use it on you. Even a double-sided mirror from a heaven and earth bag* can be found on you. If you don’t believe me, just you dare try!”

*Qiankun Bag (乾坤袋) It’s a bag with incredible power that is used for storage. The space can accommodate heaven and earth (thus also why it’s called the heaven and earth bag). There could even be another universe inside this bag.

The corners of Dong Zhi’s mouth twitched.

“Even if the instrument fails, my eyes are not blind!” The middle-aged man sneered again. “Now you still have a chance to throw away your cheating tools. Don’t wait to be discovered when you enter the examination room. It’s still a light sentence to be disqualified from the examination, but tread carefully so that your future children’s chances of entering the Special Administration Bureau won’t be affected. I’ll give you 30 minutes. Lose everything that should be lost!”

There was no sound in the audience, and a few people in the long line immediately left silently, presumably to get rid of what they needed to be rid of. The middle-aged man frowned and said nothing, but the candidates passing in front of him became more cautious.

Even Dong Zhi was overwhelmed and gave in to his obsessive-compulsiveness and rechecked everything he was carrying before he found a seat to sit down. There were so many people taking the exam this year that one room wasn’t enough to fit everyone, so it was divided into three rooms. The classroom Dong Zhi was in had over sixty seats, which shows how fierce the competition was this year.

After the middle-aged man’s warning, all the candidates became extremely honest, and the talkative people quickly shut up. Everyone obediently sat in their seats waiting for the paper to be handed out. Soon the written exam started.

All the tension was released the moment Dong Zhi got his paper. Seeing the dense topics, he didn’t have time to get nervous as he picked up his pen and started working on his test. Time passed by in a flash, and he triple-checked his paper before handing it in. There were ten minutes left before the exam was over, and no one had handed in their paper in advance. When he got up and walked to the podium, he drew a lot of surprise and envious gazes, which made him feel more confident.

The multiple-choice exam was conducted in the early morning, and there were still the free response questions in the afternoon. Dong Zhi hurried back to the dorms for a meal and rested. In the early afternoon, he arrived outside the examination room for the second portion. There were a lot of people gathered around as usual. Dong Zhi looked for Hu Shua and Ba Sang in the crowd while listening to the conversations around him. Not surprisingly, people were discussing their answers. Some were excited, while others were distraught. It seemed that no matter whether you were an ordinary person or a practitioner, as the fate of a candidate, they were all the same.

The unprepared and completely going in blind type: “The exam this morning was so difficult! I didn’t even understand how to read the questions, let alone choose the right answer. I can only guess. I listened to my cousin, who told me to choose C if I didn’t know it. Apparently, the accuracy is higher with that letter.”

The last-minute cramming type: “I saw this question on the question bank last night, but I didn’t pay attention to the answer. Who would have thought it would really be on the test!”

The complaining type: “Hey, why is the exam so strict this year? There weren’t any detectors last year. The most unfortunate thing is that I forgot to bring my Pure-Heart Mantra* before I left. It was written by my master specifically for me. It made me upset all morning that I couldn’t answer the questions. I definitely failed this time!”

*Qingxin Mantra/Universal Mantra (清心咒) Created by later generations of Buddhist scriptures. Reciting it can clear one’s mind and calm you down. It can remove vexation and stop evil.

The skeptical type: “What harm can a magnetic resonance imaging system cause the human body? What kind of shit is this? How would I know! Why aren’t there questions like what a century-old zombie will do to human beings?! Isn’t there someone in charge of the topics? Are they deliberately trying to make us fail?!”

Dong Zhi didn’t know whether to laugh or cry as he walked through the crowd. He finally found Ba Sang and the others, who were in the midst of discussing the written exam.

Dong Zhi could only say, “Let it pass and ignore it. If you keep finding your answers are wrong, it’ll affect your mood for the written exam later. This will affect your performance.”

Hu Shua’s whole fox body wilted. “I’m afraid I won’t be able to answer any questions in the afternoon.”

Everyone hurriedly comforted him. Even Gu Meiren said that she didn’t do well this morning. If the general average wasn’t good, the admission standard would definitely be lowered, which gave Hu Shua some hope and he recovered.

The written exam was all subjective questions, and the results were based on the biases of the examiners. For the same answer, some may give one point more, while others may give one point less. This was something that couldn’t be controlled by the candidates, so they could only honestly answer to the best of their abilities. As long as the basic points are met, the score won’t deviate too much.

While he didn’t hand in his papers in advance for the afternoon exam, he still thought he did well. As he walked out of the examination room, a figure flew past him as he was wailing. When Dong Zhi reacted, he found that it was Hu Shua, but his figure had already disappeared.

Kan Chaosheng was waiting for him outside, staring intently at Hu Shua and only reluctantly retracted his gaze when Hu Shua completely disappeared from sight. He then heard Kan Chaosheng lick his lips and say, “His original form must be very fat, tender, and delicious.”

Dong Zhi: …

He quickly changed the subject. “Do you know when the score will be released?”

Kan Chaosheng said, “Within a week. You should prepare for the interview first.”

Dong Zhi walked out with him, but was stopped by someone.

“Fellow Taoist, you dropped your pen.”

Turning his head around, Dong Zhi saw a tall and thin young man standing behind him. When he saw that the other party was holding onto his pen, he quickly thanked him and took it back. The other party suddenly said, “Are you Dong Zhi?”

Being keen, Dong Zhi immediately noticed that he said, “Are you Dong Zhi” instead of “What’s your name”.

“Do you know me?” He smiled at the young man.

The other party raised his eyebrows, looked at him up and down, and suddenly smiled. “So that’s really all you are.”

The sudden hostility made Dong Zhi feel inexplicable.

The other party introduced himself. “My name is Liu Qingbo.” Without waiting for Dong Zhi to reply, he quickly left after speaking.

Dong Zhi: ???

He turned his head and asked Kan Chaosheng. “Who is this person?”

Kan Chaosheng said, “Liu Qingbo. His mother is a descendant of the Hmong people and can use poison*. His father is a descendant of a sword master in the Republic of China. He went to Taiwan first before going overseas. He has roots on both sides and has made some contributions to the civil exchanges before, so his impression is good. If there are no issues, it’s almost certain that he’ll join.”

*Gu () a venom-based poison associated with cultures of South China. See lore for details.

Dong Zhi asked casually, “Even if he doesn’t score well on the written test?”

Kan Chaosheng showed him a “stupid human” expression, and Dong Zhi immediately understood. It seems that walking through a backdoor is prevalent anywhere.

Dong Zhi asked, “Why did he seem to be very hostile to me just now?”

Kan Chaosheng said coldly, “He knows that you admire the boss and want to be his apprentice, so he treats you as his competitor!”

“He also admires the boss and wants to be his apprentice?”

“When the boss was fighting with the bone dragon on Changbai Mountain, did you know that he was already injured?”

Dong Zhi nodded. “He Yu had mentioned it.”

Kan Chaosheng said, “That injury happened last year. Liu Qingbo was young and vigorous. I didn’t know how he found out, but he heard that there were dragons in the Yangtze River, and he attracted a golden-beard Aoyu*. The Aoyu had cultivated over 800 years—older than me, and was almost able to turn into a dragon, but its opportunity was interrupted by him. That made it extremely angry. At that time, the boss happened to pass by doing business and noticed the water pulses changing. He rushed over and saved Liu Qingbo in the nick of time. He suffered an injury during the fight that left some residual damage. He was almost healed, yet who knew that he would run into a bone dragon, and later have to use telepathy to save you.”

*(鳌鱼) Translation varies but it’s a legendary aquatic creature (turtle/fish seems to be the agreed upon) that has the head of a dragon. See lore for details.

Dong Zhi never expected that there was such a piece of detail. When he heard the entire story, he couldn’t help feeling guilty.

“Then how is he doing now?” Thinking of Long Shen’s uncharacteristic performance these past few days, Dong Zhi felt that he was being overwhelmed with guilt.

Kan Chaosheng shrugged. “It’s not a big problem, but he needs to recuperate. I hope nothing major will happen during this time, or he’ll have to act even if he doesn’t want to.”

“What about the Aoyu? Dead?”

Kan Chaosheng let out a sigh.

Dong Zhi couldn’t help but say, “But it was obviously Liu Qingbo who went to provoke it first and broke its practice!”

“There was no other choice. The Aoyu refused to stop and wanted to create floods around the area to dispel the hatred in his heart. If he were allowed to succeed, it’d inevitably cause massive destruction. The boss could only make this decision.”

In the end, it was Liu Qingbo who caused the trouble, but Long Shen was the one who had to clean up the mess. Dong Zhi curled his lips and lost any remaining goodwill towards this person.

However, personal feelings should be kept separate in private, and Dong Zhi knew this clearly. With Long Shen’s status, even if he accepts apprentices, he will never receive a bunch like they were wholesale, but most likely pick only one. Since he saved Liu Qingbo’s life, he must be deeply grateful and respect Long Shen, and he had that background to back him up. Compared to Dong Zhi, Long Shen would most likely be more inclined to accept Liu Qingbo than him, who had just stepped into the ranks of a cultivator and had a weak foundation.

Thinking about this, he immediately felt a strong sense of crisis. If he doesn’t work harder, his wish to become the male god’s apprentice would be for naught!

Kan Chaosheng saw Dong Zhi walking in a daze, so he stretched out his hand and poked him and said impatiently, “How come you are picking up habits from Zhong Yuyi! Hurry up!”

“Where are we going?”

“He Yu wants to celebrate your completion of the exam, so we’re going to have a big meal and then go karaoke!”

“But I still have the interview.”

“Then we can have another big meal after that too!”

You just want to eat!

Despite thinking that, Dong Zhi quickened his pace to match Kan Chaosheng’s. He had been reviewing nervously the entire time and needed to unwind.

He Yu said that in order to celebrate his completion of the written exam, he was going to take everyone to a hotpot restaurant. Zhong Yuyi also joined. When Dong Zhi arrived, they had already ordered a lot of side dishes and a mandarin duck pot.

Dong Zhi was now familiar with Zhong Yuyi. Although he rarely spoke and was usually distracted, Dong Zhi found that he got along quite well with him. What’s more, compared to Liu Qingbo, Zhong Yuyi, who was also an admirer of Long Shen, was obviously a hundred times cuter.

“How was the exam, Xiao Dongdong? Do you want me to ask the boss to open a backdoor for you?” He Yu teased.

“The boss doesn’t review the paper exams. If you go ask him, you’ll only get beaten!” Kan Chaosheng tore down the wall without hesitation.

“The boss won’t beat him. He’ll just deduct his salary and vacation.” It was rare that Zhong Yuyi was acting normally today. He didn’t look like he was sleepwalking as he picked up a piece of meat and dipped it into the spicy hotpot.

Kan Chaosheng laughed. “You’re telling the truth!”

He Yu rolled his eyes and hugged Dong Zhi’s shoulders. “Don’t listen to them! It’s just a written test. I have confidence in you! In order to celebrate your smooth passage, let’s go karaoke after dinner. Zhong Yuyi is also invited!”

Zhong Yuyi swallowed the meat before slowly saying, “Why am I invited?”

He Yu said confidently, “Because your salary hasn’t been deducted recently, I’ll help you find a way to spend your money!”

Dong Zhi chuckled. “Is it a tradition to have your wage deducted for doing something wrong?”

If this was the case, then would his salary go into the negative every month?

Kan Chaosheng sneered, “Only He Yu is like this. We’re not like him who messes up all day long!”

He Yu scoffed, “I made mistakes because I do more work, which shows that the boss respects me!”

Zhong Yuyi: “It’s because the boss knows that you play games all day long and don’t work that deducting your wage is the most direct and effective means.”

Dong Zhi watched them bicker cheerfully, and the tension after the exam had been wiped away. He felt relaxed and lazy.

“I’ll pay for it tonight as thanks to you during this time. My thunder technique wouldn’t have improved so fast without your help. Just order whatever you want to eat!” He waved his hand, giving off an aura of a local tyrant.

He Yu: “Big brother, please let me hug your thigh!”

Kan Chaosheng turned his head and called out. “Waiter, add 10 servings of sweet potato, 10 servings of Australian beef, 10 servings of shrimp…”

Dong Zhi jokingly shouted, “Hey, hey!”


Kinky Thoughts:

Gu/Poison (蛊)

Is a venom-based poison associated with cultures of south China, particularly Nanyue. The traditional preparation of gu poison involved sealing several venomous creatures (e.g., centipede, snake, scorpion) inside a closed container, where they devoured one another and allegedly concentrated their toxins into a single survivor, whose body would be fed upon by larvae until consumed. The last surviving larva held the complex poison. Gu is used in black magic practices such as manipulating sexual partners, creating malignant diseases, and causing death. According to Chinese folklore, a gu spirit could transform into various animals, typically a worm, caterpillar, snake, frog, dog, or pig.

See the Wikipedia for deeper details.

Aoyu (鳌鱼)

Legendary aquatic creature (turtle/fish). Legend has it that in ancient times, gold and silver carps wanted to jump over the dragon gates and fly into the clouds and ascend the sky to transform into dragons, but they swallowed the dragon balls in the sea and could only turn into a fish body with a dragon’s head, giving them the name Aoyu.

Male Aoyu have golden scales with a gourd tail, while female Aoyu has silver scales with a hibiscus tail.

This is what they supposedly look like.


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