Again and Again Ch28

Author: 反舌鸟 / Mockingbird

Translator: Kinky || https://kinkytranslations.com/
Editor: Eli


Chapter 28

Yu Ruoyun woke up to the sound of his phone ringing and someone knocking on the door. He sat up and looked around, searching for Jiang Yu, but he seemed to be gone.

First, he answered the phone. It was his father. “You finally picked up. Open the door.”

“Why are you here?” Yu Ruoyun asked as he stood at the door. It was midday, and he was still in his pajamas, while his father stood outside, looking like he had been waiting for a while.

Yu Qiwen wasn’t pleased. “I came for a conference. I finished the meetings, and you’re still sleeping.”

Yu Ruoyun stepped aside to let him in. “Have you had lunch?”

“I have,” Yu Qiwen said. “You can starve. Sit down. Your father has something important to discuss with you!”

Yu Ruoyun had a bad feeling and refused to sit down. “I don’t need it.”

Yu Qiwen glared at him. “You’re refusing before I’ve even told you? Look first before you say no!”

“I don’t want to look.” Yu Ruoyun took a step back. “I’m going to change my clothes.”

Yu Qiwen lost the last bit of his patience. “I say, enough is enough. Do you plan to stay single forever?”

He had come prepared, even bringing photos.

“These people all have proper jobs in Beijing,” Yu Qiwen said. “They don’t sleep around. Look, since you’re just lounging at home anyway, you might as well meet them.”

Yu Ruoyun found it impossible to communicate. “If they did sleep around, they wouldn’t tell you. And also…”

Yu Ruoyun picked up the photos. “Why do all these people look like they could punch me to death?”

“Isn’t that good?” Yu Qiwen said. “Blame your mother for giving you such a sissy name. When you were little and I took you to kindergarten, the teachers would ask, ‘Where’s your daughter?’ I should never have agreed to that name. Now, look, you’ve turned out gay.”

“Names and sexual orientation have no causal relationship,” Yu Ruoyun said.

“Just look at them first,” Yu Qiwen insisted, pointing at the photos. “This one, I heard, is six feet three inches tall…”

Discussing sex with parents was awkward, especially when it involved sexual positions. Yu Ruoyun felt uncomfortable. “It’s not what you think.”

“What?” Yu Qiwen paused. “You don’t like men anymore? Are you just trying to make trouble?”

“I’m not the one being topped,” Yu Ruoyun said. “Do you understand?”

Honestly, the men in the photos didn’t necessarily have to be tops. Most likely, they were muscular bottoms. But Yu Ruoyun didn’t plan to explain this to his father.

Yu Qiwen was incredulous. “Are you lying to avoid a blind date?”

“In the entertainment industry, tops are more popular,” Yu Ruoyun said impatiently, deciding to scare his father. “Most of those in power who take advantage of weaker people often prefer to be fucked. Your son is a rarity, okay?”

“What do you mean?” Yu Qiwen asked. “Have you done that to other people been exploited?”

Either way, he looked like he wanted to kill Yu Ruoyun so as to rid the world of harm.

Neither, Yu Ruoyun was about to say when the doorbell rang again. Yu Qiwen turned to see Jiang Yu standing at the entrance, holding a key.

“So, you have been taking advantage of others,” Yu Qiwen muttered. “I knew I shouldn’t have let you enter the entertainment industry. Now you’ve learned all this, probably even soliciting prostitutes and doing drugs, indulging in orgies every day…”

Jiang Yu walked over, and Yu Ruoyun had to introduce them. “This is my father.”

He then told Yu Qiwen, “This is Long Xingyu, my current boyfriend.”

Yu Qiwen didn’t respond. When he sat down earlier, something had poked his waist. He stood up and pulled out a shirt. The good news was, it wasn’t underwear. The bad news was, the shirt was torn.

Only Yu Ruoyun remained unfazed. “Don’t rummage through my stuff.”

“Rummage?” Yu Qiwen snapped. “You should clean up after yourself!”

“If you called before coming, I would’ve cleaned up,” Yu Ruoyun said. “But you never do.”

While the father and son argued, Jiang Yu stayed out of it. He stepped aside to pour some water. “Uncle, would you like some tea?”

Yu Ruoyun remarked, “That tea is very expensive.”

Jiang Yu could tell Yu Ruoyun was joking and didn’t argue. He placed the tea in front of Yu Qiwen.

“Why scold him?” Yu Qiwen said. “Can’t I have a sip of your tea? Should I file an application in advance?”

Jiang Yu had never expected to meet Yu Ruoyun’s father, let alone in such a scenario. His limited imagination couldn’t have foreseen this interaction, seeing how Yu Ruoyun spoke to his father.

“Then serve him tea,” Yu Ruoyun said, looking at Jiang Yu mischievously. “Did you know he’s here to introduce me to potential partners? These people are quite impressive, much taller than you. The first one is six feet three inches tall.”

Jiang Yu looked down and saw the photos scattered on the table.

Yu Qiwen scrutinized Jiang Yu, starting to believe Yu Ruoyun’s words. Maybe Yu Ruoyun really was the top. He hadn’t seen Yu Ruoyun’s previous partner, Jiang Yu, and didn’t know what he looked like. But the current one seemed frail, pale, and young…

“You could be his father,” Yu Qiwen couldn’t help but pull Yu Ruoyun aside. Jiang Yu pretended not to hear and sat quietly.

Yu Ruoyun hadn’t considered their age difference before, but upon calculating, it was true. As he had once hypothesized, if he had fallen in love in middle school, he could be Long Xingyu’s father.

“Yes,” Yu Ruoyun said. “Much older.”

He appeared calm, prompting Yu Qiwen to ask, “What about Jiang Yu?”

The reason he had come over was the lingering thought from Yu Ruoyun’s phone call, mentioning Jiang Yu had passed away. He intended to counsel Yu Ruoyun to move on but found that Yu Ruoyun had moved on unusually quickly.

So he couldn’t help but ask, “You wouldn’t get another dog when your previous one died. Why did you find a new partner so quickly?”

Yu Qiwen sensed something was off. He knew his son, and this wasn’t typical behavior.

It was hard to explain.

So Yu Ruoyun said, “Look at him from this angle.”

Yu Qiwen turned to look and heard Yu Ruoyun say, “From this angle, he looks just like Jiang Yu.”

“Can you lower your voice?” Yu Qiwen hissed at Yu Ruoyun.

‘I agree,’ Jiang Yu thought, barely holding back from spitting out his tea at Yu Ruoyun’s comment.

“Jiang Yu is dead, so I found someone who looks like him as a stand-in. That’s not illegal, is it?” Yu Ruoyun said. “Better than doing something against the law.”

“Do you have to choose between those two options?” Yu Qiwen was exasperated.

“You wouldn’t like the other options either,” Yu Ruoyun said. “Think of it positively. It benefits me a lot.”

“What benefit?”

Yu Ruoyun’s eyes were unclear, but his tone was light. “Given our age difference, I can die before him this time.”


Kinky Thoughts:

LMAO. Past Jiang Yu might not have been so uptight if you were this casual Yu Ruoyun.


<<< || Table of Contents || >>>

Again and Again Ch27

Author: 反舌鸟 / Mockingbird

Translator: Kinky || https://kinkytranslations.com/
Editor: Eli


Chapter 27

It was already very late, and the moon had risen, its light shining through the window onto Jiang Yu’s face.

Love could solve many problems, and sex could cover some others. Jiang Yu felt an overwhelming fatigue.They had one round at first. He was already tired from drinking, but Yu Ruoyun was different from before. Today, he wasn’t as considerate and was even somewhat forceful. He held Jiang Yu’s ankle, spreading his legs for another round. This time, he didn’t use protection and didn’t pull out before finishing. Like a small animal sensing danger, Jiang Yu instinctively struggled but was pinned down by Yu Ruoyun, unable to move. He quickly gave up resisting. Yu Ruoyun kissed him, from his ears to his eyes, and the tears Jiang Yu had been trying so hard to hold back finally fell due to the physical reaction. Yu Ruoyun said, “I fucked you to tears.”

In his previous life, Yu Ruoyun wouldn’t have done this. Of course, it felt good then too, but Yu Ruoyun was much gentler, never using dirty talk or leaving bruises on his waist and wrists, and he’d never felt this sensation of fluids leaking out of his aching hole. Surprisingly, this new experience felt good.

Jiang Yu sat up and realized Yu Ruoyun wasn’t asleep, just lying on his side with his back to him, holding something in his hand, seemingly a small bottle.

It looked familiar. Jiang Yu moved closer to read the label and then widened his eyes, reaching out to grab it.

Yu Ruoyun sensed the movement behind him, withdrew his arm, and turned to look at him. “Why are you snatching it from me?”

“What is that?” Jiang Yu gritted his teeth. “Why do you have this?!”

“Don’t worry.” Yu Ruoyun guessed what Jiang Yu was thinking and looked at him calmly. “I didn’t take any medicine. This isn’t my bottle. It’s yours.”

Jiang Yu stared at Yu Ruoyun helplessly. His last secret was now in Yu Ruoyun’s grasp, and he had thought it would never be discovered.

He felt utterly ashamed.

“What are you thinking?” Yu Ruoyun leaned against the wall, casually spinning the bottle. “Wondering how I found out? It’s simple. Qi Yiren told me.”

“That’s impossible. Qi Yiren would never…”

“You think she doesn’t know?” Yu Ruoyun said. “Yes, you hid it well, told no one, and even tore up the diagnosis. Who knows what underground route you used to get these prescription drugs? Playing doctor and self-medicating, leading to increasing irritability, sleepless nights, a worsening appetite, and weight loss until you were just skin and bones. I should have noticed earlier.”

Qi Yiren hadn’t intended to tell Yu Ruoyun. She wouldn’t gossip about her former boss to her current one. But Yu Ruoyun started acting strangely, getting involved with a much younger rookie and openly supporting him. This was Yu Ruoyun’s private life, and she had no right to interfere.

Until a few days ago.

While filming the final scene, Yu Ruoyun’s phone was still with Qi Yiren. She held it without putting it in her bag when a message popped up on the lock screen. Even without trying to read it, it caught her eye. It was from Jiang Yu.

[Jiang Yu: Are you coming back the day after tomorrow? Send me the flight number.]

[Jiang Yu: But I might not have time to come. Our group has another event, and we’re filming a new episode of the travel diary show.]

[Jiang Yu: Just send it to me first.]

Qi Yiren held the phone, read the messages, and looked up at Yu Ruoyun filming not far away.

It couldn’t be Jiang Yu. Besides the fact that Jiang Yu was dead, even when he was alive, he wasn’t in any group or participated in any travel variety show. The person fitting these characteristics was another young artist who looked somewhat like Jiang Yu, had just left the set, followed Yu Ruoyun around, and even entered his room.

From Qi Yiren’s perspective, this led to a sudden realization.

“So she came to confront me,” Yu Ruoyun said to Jiang Yu with a mixture of amusement and frustration.

“What?” Jiang Yu was increasingly confused.

“She said she found these bottles in Jiang Yu’s drawer after he died, and the company dissolved. She regretted it, thinking back to how she resented him for being so difficult in his last days, not realizing it was a cry for help.”

“What does that have to do with her…” Jiang Yu couldn’t help but say.

“Then she told me that even if I wanted to find a new lover, I shouldn’t use someone as a substitute, especially since I had changed Long Xingyu’s contact name to Jiang Yu. It was disrespectful to everyone. I didn’t know how to respond, didn’t want to respond, so I immediately changed my flight and came back to find you, missing the wrap party.” Yu Ruoyun continued to look at Jiang Yu. “That’s why I’m here.”

Is that so? Unable to wait a moment longer, he rushed back, hearing the beeping from the phone, seeing him still standing carelessly by the roadside, and pulled him back out of paranoia. For Jiang Yu, death was just an end, waking up to find himself dead. For Yu Ruoyun, it was a long, agonizing process.

Jiang Yu didn’t know what Yu Ruoyun was feeling when he returned. But just hours ago, Yu Ruoyun had said so much, almost baring his heart, yet Jiang Yu still hadn’t told him about this.

Confess, tell him. Jiang Yu’s heart urged. Telling Yu Ruoyun won’t kill you, and you’ve embarrassed yourself in front of him many times already.

“Yes, manic disorder. How funny. It sounds like an insult, and others have really used it to insult me,” Jiang Yu said. “Every day I wake up, I tell myself in the mirror that I’m not sick and that I’m perfectly healthy. I’m a top star now. I have to act and win awards; no one has the right to pity me.”

He looked at Yu Ruoyun’s upper body, his perfect physique marred by a scar on his shoulder. During a loss of control, Jiang Yu had bitten him, not playfully but hard enough to draw blood and almost tear off a chunk of flesh. He hadn’t even apologized, hiding in the bathroom afterward. Yu Ruoyun didn’t go to the hospital, bandaging himself instead. Jiang Yu wanted to ask about the wound, if it was infected, but the words were always stuck in his throat.

Jiang Yu couldn’t help but reach out, pressing his hand over the wound he had caused. “I always mess up,” he said dejectedly.

“I know what you’re thinking,” Yu Ruoyun said. He didn’t look at Jiang Yu’s but lowered his gaze to look at his pale hand. “I know you think I’m blaming myself, thinking it’s my fault for not noticing your illness. Of course, you’d think that. That’s how you see me. I also regret not letting you see another side of me.”

“Jiang Yu, who the hell gave you permission to die?” Yu Ruoyun looked up at Jiang Yu, who couldn’t help but meet his eyes.

No longer the gentle, almost cold gaze—he could even see… hatred.

Others might mourn and wonder why Jiang Yu died. Yu Ruoyun hated him for dying without permission.

The perfect, flawless statue had cracked since the day Jiang Yu died, and now it shattered completely, leaving fragments everywhere.

“I know your story,” Yu Ruoyun said, piecing together Jiang Yu’s life from his mother, his colleagues, and Jiang Yu himself. “When you saw me, you wanted to be me, chasing the light step by step. Because of me, you left home, started on this path, and became Jiang Yu in others’ eyes. Now let me tell you another story. Because of you, I became the Yu Ruoyun I am today.”

Jiang Yu blinked, not quite understanding what Yu Ruoyun was saying. He stayed still, feeling the blood rush to his head.

Yu Ruoyun leaned closer, biting his lip and murmuring, “You always forget to breathe while kissing. You never learn.”

Now didn’t seem like the right time to apologize, so Jiang Yu obediently kissed him.

“I should be out soliciting prostitutes,” Yu Ruoyun smiled after having a small taste of sweetness. “Or doing drugs. Making dirty jokes at dinner parties about young college girls. Do you think I’m talking nonsense? Thinking that it’d never happen?”

“Of course it’d never happen,” Jiang Yu said. Yu Ruoyun was never that kind of person.

“It’s impossible because you’re always watching me,” Yu Ruoyun said. “There are no perfect people in this world. Some want to step on me to rise, some use my name to attract investment. Some idiots cut my scenes to give others more screen time. I get angry too, wanting to retaliate. I could act like a diva, demand special treatment, fall into decadence after success. But Jiang Yu wouldn’t like that Yu Ruoyun. He was drawn to the light. He shouldn’t see the darkness.”

“I’ve been a good person for so long, and then you died. Who the hell gave you permission to die?”

This unreasonable accusation, hard to believe from Yu Ruoyun, was almost irrational. But Jiang Yu understood.

He always thought about starting over, abandoning the shattered past. Even he couldn’t stand himself. Looking back, he wondered how Yu Ruoyun endured it. He was utterly wrong. There was no starting over. Yu Ruoyun had always loved him.

What he thought was an unattainable cloud was left there for him to see. And when he turned away, the cloud fell.

Jiang Yu swallowed, feeling parched, his chaotic thoughts unable to form words.

“Yu Ruoyun,” Jiang Yu said, “I love you very much, in a way I can never express correctly. I used to think you stayed with me out of pity because I made a mess of my life.”

Yu Ruoyun looked at him, not entirely agreeing but not interrupting.

“Knowing that you love me is the sole reason my return here was worthwhile.”

And now, he should hold his breath and kiss Yu Ruoyun again.


<<< || Table of Contents || >>>

Again and Again Ch26

Author: 反舌鸟 / Mockingbird

Translator: Kinky || https://kinkytranslations.com/
Editor: Eli


Chapter 26

“I’m not…” Jiang Yu tried to say.

Yu Ruoyun usually smiled, but now his smile carried a hint of irony.

“Alright, not,” Yu Ruoyun said. “You know, when I first met you, this ‘you’, I told the director to keep that Long Xingyu away from me. It wasn’t because I didn’t like you, but because, even though I hadn’t fully remembered yet, I could sense the danger in you. An inexplicable familiarity, being drawn to a capricious stranger—I wanted to stay away from you. But you insisted on sticking around, forcing me to quickly find a new love.”

“I looked at Jiang Yu’s schedule from these past years, every single day. His former assistant gave it to me. Even during his off days, Jiang Yu would tell her where he went so he could be found easily. Long Xingyu indeed ran away from home, first to Shanghai, then to Korea to become a trainee. He stayed there for a few years before returning to China without debuting. Jiang Yu had no chance to meet you. Even if, by some stretch, he spent a few days in the same city, geographically, it was impossible for him to meet Long Xingyu.”

“Because during those days, Jiang Yu was always with me,” Yu Ruoyun said. “You’ve never met, yet you know so much about Jiang Yu, even things only he would know. You’re a liar.”

“It’s not.” Jiang Yu struggled to speak again.

“Not what?” Yu Ruoyun finally asked him.

“It’s not your fault,” Jiang Yu said. “It’s never been your fault. It’s my problem. From the beginning, I was the one who insisted on dragging you in…”

Yu Ruoyun was supposed to be straight, in his most triumphant twenties. Following a normal trajectory, he would have married and had children in a few years, appearing on parenting shows without having to be with Jiang Yu, enduring his temper, bearing his death, being the victim of his relentless pursuits. 

Yu Ruoyun grabbed Jiang Yu’s forearm, pulling him closer. Jiang Yu couldn’t control his legs, moving entirely under Yu Ruoyun’s force. Yu Ruoyun brought him close, brushing his finger over Jiang Yu’s eyes. “A few days ago, I finally remembered the first time I saw you. I was in the lounge, and you ran in, saying, ‘I don’t have a personal lounge. Do you mind sharing?'”

“Then you sat across from me. You looked so nervous, you know, but tried to act casual. But who would say something like that casually? You asked if I had a boyfriend. If not, you’d be my boyfriend in the future. I never told you, but you looked really silly back then, with all your bravado. It was adorable.”

“I forgot,” Jiang Yu said, his voice muffled. He felt his eyes getting warm, probably about to cry again, but he tried hard to hold it back.

“Here we go again.” Yu Ruoyun looked at him. “If you keep this up, I’ll have you blacklisted.”

Of course, he remembered. Before that, he’d already had many chances to meet Yu Ruoyun. But he kept thinking—maybe a little later, when the gap between them was smaller, when he could get people’s attention by just showing up—then he’d approach Yu Ruoyun.

But as time went on, he became more unsatisfied, wanting to be an ever-moving machine, rushing forward endlessly, forgetting his initial goal.

“I’m sorry,” Jiang Yu could only say. “At first, I thought, since you forgot, we could start over. I didn’t even want to remember.”

“Now you’ve tried it,” Yu Ruoyun said. “You’ve tried becoming something else. You still came to find me, and I still recognized you. You’re living in my house, signed with my friend’s company, and starred in the show I’m leading. This time, don’t think you can get rid of me or tear down my posters.”

“I won’t leave,” Jiang Yu said.

It was strange. In the past, Jiang Yu was the talkative one, while Yu Ruoyun was often silent. Now, Jiang Yu seemed to lose his words, with only Yu Ruoyun speaking, expressing his love.

Yu Ruoyun sat in a chair, looking at Jiang Yu. Jiang Yu felt he was being looked down upon. Until Yu Ruoyun stood up and went into the room.

He was left standing there, not knowing what to do.

About a long minute passed before Yu Ruoyun came back out. He looked a bit awkward, hiding one hand behind his back, clearly holding something.

It was a bouquet of flowers, not an extravagant 999 roses, or even 99. It seemed like something Yu Ruoyun had bought from a little girl selling flowers by the roadside. It was very possible, as Yu Ruoyun was that kind of person.

“I’ve never given you flowers,” Yu Ruoyun said. “I’m sorry.”


<<< || Table of Contents || >>>

Charlie’s Book Ch66

Author: 冬瓜茶仙人 / Winter Melon Tea Immortal

Translator: Kinky || https://kinkytranslations.com/


Chapter 66

“Keep quiet.” A small hand tightly covered his mouth, and from his angle, all he could see was the other’s slightly chubby round cheeks and long, curled eyelashes—those lashes were trembling slightly, betraying the owner’s hidden nervousness and fear.

He dared not speak, so he reached out too, covering the other’s eyes. Don’t look.

He thought to himself, If you can’t see, you won’t be afraid.

The two children huddled close together, breathing so softly that the silence around them almost amplified the pounding of their hearts.

Besides this, they also heard their usually very strict teacher speaking in an unusually humble tone, offering compliments, but most of the time, this was met with silence. Occasionally, a deep, slightly muffled voice would respond in a northern language that they had just started learning.

They needed to learn many languages, but the language they heard today was particularly important… Why was it important?

Ah, he remembered.

The child curled up in the cramped space and recalled the day they had first received the textbook for that language. Someone had warned them in a strange tone that they must master this language well.

Why?

His sibling lifted their face to ask.

Because they were so small, they both had to sit on cushions to reach the desk.

Because, that’s the language of lions.

That person had said softly. Lions are the fiercest, most brutal animals. They mercilessly tear apart all prey that appears before them, break necks, rip out hearts… Ah, don’t cry. I’m just joking.

But you really must study seriously, because in their eyes, anyone not of their kind is prey, without any exceptions.

The young him couldn’t remember the first word they learned in that class, but every word the teacher had said about the language was etched in his memory.

Why must they study seriously?

Because, you surely wouldn’t want to fail to recognize Death when it stands before you, right?

Thunk. Charlie’s head hit the wooden board, and he blinked open his eyes, somewhat unsure if he was still dreaming or not.

He was surrounded by stacks of crates and some bulging bags at his feet, likely containing some type of hard-skinned vegetable or fruit, judging by the protruding shapes.

He was sitting amid these objects, leaning against a crate about half his height, having dozed off. The jostling of the carriage had caused his head to slip backwards, bumping into the wall.

It was indeed a dream.

He straightened up and took a moment to inspect his limbs.

Still the lean and trim figure of an adult male without a trace of baby fat, completely incongruous with his dream self.

This carriage couldn’t compare to the standard Brandenburg carriages he had ridden in Lemena. Even the light two-person carriages of the Dwight household would be lined with the finest, softest leather, never jarring enough to cause a bump.

But when traveling, even a young Duke couldn’t be too picky. In order to leave Ropappas as quickly as possible, they had left the inn almost as soon as the guards’ knights reached the city outskirts. It was past seven in the evening by then. The sun had already set, and the knights with a small contingent of mercenaries turned around without a break, traveling through the night.

The shopkeeper, who positioned himself as a civilian member of the group, had no intention of marching with everyone and shamelessly squeezed into the luggage carriage to sleep.

Perhaps influenced by his last conversation with the Knight Commander before departure, he unusually dreamed about things long past, so distant he wasn’t sure whether they had really happened or were merely fictitious memories he conjured up.

But the part about the lion was probably true.

Charlie leaned against the carriage wall, nudging the window open slightly.

It was still dark outside, and there were points of light like giant fireflies—those were the wind lamps commonly used by travelers.

The roads on the outskirts of the city weren’t as smooth as in the city, lacking streetlights, so they weren’t moving very fast. The mercenaries with them were relaxed, unfazed by the prospect of staying up for a day or two as long as they had warming liquor.

Two men were close to Charlie’s carriage, occasionally speaking in low voices—in the common tongue of Doran.

The content was somewhat dull, discussing either the spoiled cured meat from last night or calculating how long it would take to reach their destination.

Charlie listened for a while, then closed the window again.

Their command of the common tongue was fluent, indicating they were likely mercenaries who lived in the area year-round.

Aside from Miss Priscilla, their true identities hadn’t been discovered by anyone yet, and they only needed to guard against ordinary bandits and robbers. By such safety standards, the mercenaries Erica hired were unlikely to be actual members of the Lion family.

If real Lions were involved, that would be a headache… No, Lions didn’t matter.

As long as it wasn’t a real Lioness in power appearing, there would be no real trouble.

Charlie adjusted his silk top hat.

As a rabbit-headed individual, everyone in Pennigra knew him for his long ears when they thought of 22 Paulownia Street.

But in Doran, it was the opposite. Aside from Elena, no one had really seen him like this, and Elena—

Charlie forced himself to stop the train of thought.

Because whenever he thought of Elena, he couldn’t help but think of Columbus.

Back in Maplewood, Columbus had a premonition about the end of his life. Even if Elena changed her temper and complied with Charlie to lift the curse successfully, Columbus’ life was already near its end.

This adventure back to Doran was less about lifting the little tin soldier’s curse and more about giving him and his family one last chance to reunite, and incidentally… if he could die as a human, that would be for the best.

Now that Columbus had left, he no longer had a reason to look for Elena.

With Elena’s pride as a witch, even if she continued to search for him, she wouldn’t do so overtly or involve others.

So, as long as he didn’t face Elena directly, his presence in Doran wouldn’t be compromised.

The shopkeeper subconsciously touched his chest.

Nobody knew how many tracking-disrupting gadgets were hidden under his meticulous outfit.

Just the anti-tracking pendants he designed himself numbered two. He also wore a brooch that could conceal magical powers, and the top hat that could confuse others’ perceptions was never far from his head.

Even if Elena appeared outside the carriage at that moment, unless she opened the door and they faced each other, she wouldn’t discover him…

Charlie, reassured, leaned back to take another nap when suddenly, the carriage stopped.

Charlie: ???

He opened his eyes, not hearing any noise outside, and was about to reach for the window when the carriage door suddenly burst open from the outside.

Charlie: ?!?!

The blonde Knight Commander, still in the posture of opening the door, looked puzzled at the shopkeeper, who had taken a defensive stance inside the carriage.

Shivers: “What are you doing?”

The rabbit-headed shopkeeper put down his hand, holding a very small palm crossbow.

“It’s okay.” Charlie cleared his throat and put away the crossbow.

Shivers glanced at his frizzed hair and considerately changed the topic. “Nice item.” But it’s too small, only good for shooting rabbits.

“Yes.” The rabbit-headed shopkeeper genuinely accepted the compliment. Despite its small size, the palm crossbow was very powerful, capable of piercing an elephant’s skin, and he had coated the arrow with a paralyzing potion he formulated himself, which could instantly turn a person into an unfeeling stone.

“What happened?” He straightened his clothes before asking.

“His Grace would like you to come and have a look,” Shivers said tactfully.

Now that they were no longer surrounded solely by their own people, the Knight Commander prudently changed his address.

The rabbit-head shopkeeper adjusted his hat and followed him off the vehicle.

Dawn was just breaking, the air laden with the cold mist of morning—it was the coldest time.

Charlie’s leather boots hit the ground, the chill seeping through the soles to his feet.

Shivers, however, appeared as unfazed by the cold as the robust men beside him, making Charlie too embarrassed to shiver alone. He braced himself and walked the short distance before stepping up into the Duke’s carriage with a large stride.

Upon entering, he felt the warm air inside the carriage permeate every pore, so comforting that he wanted to get closer to the heat source—but that wasn’t possible.

The Duke of Brandenburg was half-sitting inside with his indispensable cane by his right hand, and a palm-sized sheepskin-covered notebook by his left. The notebook, open on his lap, continuously emitted heat.

The rabbit-headed shopkeeper consciously sat down on another cushion, taking an extra glance at the notebook.

The notebook appeared thin—Charlie suspected it had only four pages, corresponding to the four seasons.

The page currently open was dazzling gold in color, devoid of any writing. Although it didn’t glow, the evident heat made it seem as though a small sun was placed inside the carriage.

What a luxurious magical item.

It was also a book. While that woman used hers to control the space and life within the castle, in the hands of the Duke, it was merely a thermostat. Judging by the Duke’s indifferent attitude, it probably wasn’t considered a precious item in Brandenburg.

Although covetous, the rabbit-headed shopkeeper restrained himself from paying too much attention to the rich man’s treasure, coughing lightly and maintaining a composed demeanor.

Dwight, as if just snapping out of a trance, gestured for Shivers to close the door after getting off, then, without speaking, pulled out a drawer from the partition, inside which was something familiar to Charlie.

The elf’s box, containing Priscilla’s rose.

The rabbit-headed shopkeeper opened the box. The rose, already slowly withering, seemed to have rapidly lost life within just a few days, not only shedding several petals but also showing ominous brown edges on the remaining petals on the stem.

No wonder he was hurriedly called over.

The rabbit-headed shopkeeper put the box back in the drawer and fell silent for a moment.

“Although I can offer advice and help, I’m not omnipotent,” he said softly. “What do you hope to gain from me this time?”

In fact, Dwight’s first request regarding the rose had already been fulfilled by him—meeting with the astrologer and revealing the omen behind it.

And this time?

At those words, Dwight glanced at him, his shallow, glass-like pupils reflecting the image of the rabbit-headed shopkeeper.

It was the first time Charlie saw an almost bewildered look on his face.

“I don’t know.”


<<< || Table of Contents || >>>

Charlie’s Book Ch65

Author: 冬瓜茶仙人 / Winter Melon Tea Immortal

Translator: Kinky || https://kinkytranslations.com/


Chapter 65

“Even if Miss Priscilla is indeed pregnant, it doesn’t prove that she was involved in that experiment,” Charlie said, not having read the letter, but he could tell from the Duke’s expression that their unpleasant suspicion was likely confirmed.

The Knight Commander glanced at the rabbit-headed shopkeeper sitting in the chair, holding his doubts for the moment, and remained silent.

After reading the letter, Dwight habitually raised his hand to pass the paper to Shivers for destruction, which was the routine.

But midway, he seemed to think of something, his wrist turning abruptly to hand the letter to Charlie instead—as if he was making a special effort to hand it over personally. The Duke pursed his lips. It wasn’t intentional, but retracting his hand now would undoubtedly be even more improper.

Fortunately, during this time, the shopkeeper had developed a certain rapport with him and didn’t let the Duke’s hand hover in the air for too long, taking the letter and reading it quickly.

They had anticipated Priscilla’s part, but Dr. Salman’s experience was very informative.

Erica’s description in the letter was quite detailed, so Charlie could deduce a lot from it.

“The ‘Holy Grail’ project started ten years ago—or maybe even earlier. Mistress Daisy’s predecessor was very likely the initiator, or one of them.”

They believed the Holy Grail was to be birthed by a human female but didn’t know what specific conditions needed to be met; hence, they conducted many different experiments, all of which failed.

“Mistress Daisy never mentioned the presence of the Lamp Bearers, indicating that the experiments at that time weren’t as advanced as they are now at Thorn Manor,” Charlie handed the letter back to Shivers as he said thoughtfully.

“Blue blood. Is that unique to the ‘Holy Grail’?” The Duke’s fingers tapped unconsciously on the smooth wooden armrest. “I’ve never read in any texts about a creature with blue blood. Mermaids have pink blood, elves have green, angels have golden… even the abyssal creatures from centuries ago are described as ‘beings without blood and soul’.”

“The letter mentions that the newborn’s blood turned red within an hour,” Charlie reminded him. “Perhaps this suggests that the blue blood was abnormal.”

“So their experiment failed,” the Duke stated unequivocally. “But perhaps the blue blood is a condition to summon, no, to attract the Lamp Bearers. I don’t think the Lamp Bearers have self-awareness or souls. They are more likely entirely derivative beings of the Holy Grail, a tangible product of the mission like ‘seeking the Holy Grail’. Strictly speaking, they have no master… How could such beings respond to human summons?”

No, they have a master.

The shopkeeper didn’t voice this thought.

The situation had completely exceeded his expectations, and he harbored doubts about it.

He could foresee that if one day the Duke unearthed all the secrets, he would certainly be furious over his omissions… but on the positive side, the best outcome would merely be burying the secrets again for a few hundred more years, decaying completely underground.

But could he manage that?

Though he didn’t know where the woman in the castle’s study got her ideas, the seed of desire was undoubtedly sown, and her death couldn’t wither those sinister weeds. The many innocent women they had seen die after entering Doran were proof of this.

Farmers worrying about a half measure of wheat didn’t have the capacity to dream of ruling the world. Only those with some power or wealth could see through the vanity behind the Holy Grail. They might be enemies of each other, but their common goal was the same.

In the face of such a massive conglomerate of power, anyone was insignificant.

The rabbit-headed shopkeeper suddenly felt an unprecedented exhaustion.

He took a deep breath, feeling like he didn’t even have the strength to maintain his composure anymore.

Dwight glanced at him.

Crossing continents without regard for himself and the witch’s disputes for the sake of the little tin soldier, no one would doubt the depth of their friendship.

But precisely because of the deep emotions, his calm demeanor so far worried everyone (especially Eugene and Shivers) all the more.

Even the little tin soldier was the same. Before this, they often had conversations like “if I get thrown into the witch’s furnace” or “Elena might make me into potion ingredients. I don’t like the smell of disintegration potions”. Most would take these as their heartless jokes. Only Dwight always felt slightly uncomfortable when he heard them—but couldn’t quite say why.

And the pampered Duke of Brandenburg wasn’t used to this kind of silently disturbing discomfort, so he would react even more harshly, making everyone uncomfortable.

Only after Columbus truly left did he vaguely understand why.

Perhaps… each time they discussed their own deaths, they weren’t joking.

They were seriously discussing, seriously preparing themselves mentally, seriously saying goodbye to each other.

And the Duke’s displeasure, perhaps, was because he recognized this every time.

“I have a question.” Charlie blinked. “Is one of the selection criteria for the Brandenburg Knight Order that they must be popular with women?”

His gaze fell on Shiloh in the courtyard below. The red-haired young man stood there, blankly holding a basket filled with stacks of bread slices, cookies, and jars of jam, while the girls around him kept stuffing more things into the basket.

Eugene was also there, similarly holding a large piece of smoked fish and wrapped farmhouse cheese.

Compared to Shiloh, he was much more uncomfortable, partly because he was unaccustomed to this rare scene of being surrounded by women, and partly because they had just finished sword practice, and he was sweaty.

Before, he wouldn’t have thought this was a problem—his personal record was going an entire winter without bathing, and the boys who huddled with him in the straw of the stables were the same, even picking lice off each other.

But since being brought into the Duke’s system, any slight hygiene issue was magnified countless times in the boss’ eyes. If he dared appear in his current sweaty state, the Duke wouldn’t even need to speak. Just his look would make him feel like a walking stinking fish.

Used to strict requirements, Eugene had already developed an awareness that his body odor might offend the refined ladies (and gentlemen), feeling somewhat uneasy about wanting to distance himself from the crowd, and this subtle reaction instead earned him more smoked sausages.

Overall, though, Shiloh was more popular. A significant portion of the inn’s female staff were married women, and in their eyes, there was nothing cuter than a red-haired, round-faced, and polite young man.

Knowing that these generous guests were planning to leave, a few bold women took the initiative to send them some gifts, not as fine as the perfume and white bread prepared by the inn, but Shilo never refused food.

The Knight Commander also watched the scene. “That’s not it. Shiloh is still a child. I’ve forbidden him from dating until he’s an adult.”

The shopkeeper unexpectedly turned to look at him.

Shivers, seemingly aware of the other’s confusion, explained, “Normally, the Brandenburg Knight Order doesn’t admit minors, but Shiloh is an exception. His talent is exceptional, the likes of which haven’t been seen in the reserves in over twenty years. The unstoppable force of a heavy swordsman on the battlefield is earned through innate talent and rigorous practice. For him, enhancing his skills during his prime is the right thing to do, and even if I hadn’t imposed a ban, he would understand this himself.”

Charlie nodded.

On any continent, population was the basic unit, and even the most inept rulers wouldn’t place many restrictions on this.

Therefore, except in some countries or cities with strong religious influences, most young people had a rather liberal understanding of love. Of course, there was nothing wrong with this, but if one wished to achieve something in a professional field during the most hormonally active age, external constraints and self-discipline were essential.

“So that’s it. Seeing you and Shiloh, I thought maybe having a good-looking face was a necessary condition to join the Brandenburg Knight Order,” the shopkeeper joked.

Shivers: “……”

Selection for knights indeed prioritizes skill, but the Brandenburg Knight Order was a general term, divided into the Duke’s personal guard and the castle troops. As the name implied, the personal guards were Dwight’s bodyguards, and aside from people like Shivers who have been groomed from a young age, members of the personal guard indeed had certain aesthetic requirements because they were closer to the Duke.

However, this rule wasn’t established by Dwight himself, but was a tradition of Brandenburg.

According to a previous Duke, this had nothing to do with personal preferences but was purely for the honor and dignity of the Dwight family—just as a King’s carriage must be drawn by four pure white horses. If one couldn’t even muster a guard of handsome knights, who would believe in the family’s heritage and taste?

So, the preference for good looks at Brandenburg was ancestral.

Seeing the Knight Commander’s expression, Charlie kept this thought to himself.

“It seems I can look forward to meeting the knights who come to greet the Duke,” he said with a laugh.

This was an arrangement made by Dwight himself.

The King of Mokwen’s ambitions regarding the Holy Grail and the confirmation of Priscilla’s pregnancy required more information for further action; thus, staying hidden in Ropappas was no longer a good option—Mistress Daisy’s castle was destroyed, and with Dr. Salman, who had been privy to the secrets of Thorn Manor, having fled, anyone controlling these events wouldn’t ignore them.

Brandenburg had no intention of getting involved in matters related to the Holy Grail, but Priscilla’s connection to the kingdom of Mokwen couldn’t be ignored. Once the Dwight family’s activities in Doran were discovered, things could become significantly more complicated.

Therefore, whether to reconnect with Priscilla or to shift their base, leaving was necessary.

Initially, the old steward consented to the Duke and the Knight Commander entering Doran alone not only because they planned to recruit Eugene and Charlie, but more importantly, the steward had his daughter lead members of the personal guard into Doran in secret to protect the Dwight family head at any time.

Because of the need for discretion, Erica only brought a few knights, but political chaos had its advantages—money could buy private armed forces.

Upon entering Doran, her first action was to consolidate armed forces. After this period of integration, except for two knights needed to maintain order, the rest, like Shiloh, would gather around the Duke and lead a small group of hired mercenaries with knights as the core.

With proper deployment, their combat power would be sufficient to handle a private lord’s castle defense—this was enough, as they didn’t intend to step into the battlefield of power struggles in Doran.

By that time, their numbers would significantly increase, and the current small travel group setup would no longer be suitable.

“Erica has arranged for housing—not in Syriacochi. Currently, Mokwen’s capital is still under semi-martial law, and a large group cannot enter. In the nearest city to Syriacochi, a fast horse can get there in half a day, and another part of the mercenary troop will be on standby there.”

Mercenaries… The rabbit-headed shopkeeper reached for his pipe but didn’t take it out.

“Eugene probably won’t be happy,” Shivers said calmly, seemingly oblivious to Charlie’s silence. “The last encounter in the alley left him quite shaken. But Erica always seeks to maximize effectiveness, and the Lion family is the best choice.”


<<< || Table of Contents || >>>

Charlie’s Book Ch64

Author: 冬瓜茶仙人 / Winter Melon Tea Immortal

Translator: Kinky || https://kinkytranslations.com/


Chapter 64

The two girls specifically tasked with washing bed linens and tablecloths had already made several trips back and forth from the yard, each time sneaking a peek at the men in the hallway.

In Mokwen, a country that prided itself on martial prowess, the mainstream aesthetic for men had always been strong muscles, thick beards, and the scent of tobacco. The poets, merchant caravans, or military groups that passed through were usually either weary from travel or mysteriously elusive, partially concealed. The occasional appearance of a few handsome, clean men stood out starkly, like snowflakes in a coal heap.

A few local male servants, although they acknowledged that the wealthy gentlemen who had booked the inn indeed had a remarkable presence, equally couldn’t understand why the women were so frenzied. They made countless excuses to pass by the spacious hallway, which was off-limits to anyone unpermitted, sneaking peeks inside—simply because several gentlemen practiced swordsmanship there every morning.

Clang.

The blunt sword in Eugene’s hand was knocked out again, flying several meters away—this was already the fourth time this morning.

On this cool early spring morning, he was overheated. His face was flushed as if every pore was exuding steam.

“Wait!” He bent over, hands on his knees, trying to alleviate some of the stomach pain caused by too much exertion.

Initially, he had some complaints about the Knight Commander’s insistence on him shaving his beard and cutting his hair short, believing that most of his masculine charm came from his stubble. However, after several days of rigorous training, he began to think it was a wise decision: intense physical activity always led to profuse sweating, and his hair and beard would become a mess. If he dared to appear before the Duke in such a state, the Duke’s glance would make Eugene feel like an indelible stain on a kitchen fireplace.

Shiloh crouched lightly on a hardback chair, complaining, “Your shoulders are as stiff as a rock! That’s why you keep getting disarmed—”

He maintained a half-crouched stance, pivoting forty-five degrees on his left foot for balance, and made a thrusting motion with one hand.

“I must have said it a hundred times, relax your shoulders, relax your shoulders, relax your shoulders,” Shiloh said seriously. “Your physical fitness is also poor. You’re panting like this just from light sword practice. If you wore knight’s armor, you wouldn’t even be able to lift a wooden sword.”

“You make it sound so easy.” Eugene gasped as he went to pick up his sword.

“Shiloh is right,” Shivers, who was passing by after breakfast, chimed in. “Shiloh is a heavy swordsman. With just a weapon and a horse, he can pierce through a formation of up to thirty infantrymen on his own.”

Eugene turned incredulously to look at Shiloh, who was still perched on the chair.

Shiloh grinned at him.

“Is that why you’re always hungry?” Eugene incredulously sized up Shiloh’s still-growing frame.

Shiloh was quite tall, but with a round face and round eyes, he was neither fat nor particularly muscular. Eugene could hardly even imagine him fully armored—it just didn’t fit.

“I’m still growing.” Shiloh jumped off the chair. “I should be able to wield a sword with one hand once I’m fully grown. Alright, alright, lift your lazy arms. Let’s go again!”

Eugene numbly gave up on thinking.

As a pure-blooded low-born thug, Eugene’s understanding of fighting had always been simple: the bigger and more muscular, the stronger.

However, after being recruited by the Duke, he found that although he might be the heaviest among the group, his combat ability was (sadly) the weakest. In group fights, he was just blunt and clumsy, and even the seemingly fragile and slender rabbit-headed shopkeeper could knock him down.

A disgruntled Eugene, whenever he had a chance, pestered the Knight Commander to teach him swordsmanship. Shivers, maintaining his usual grace, was willing to teach him, but Eugene soon learned that just the stance for swordsmanship frustratingly had over a dozen variations!

He thought Shivers was pulling his leg until the rabbit-headed shopkeeper and the Duke both treated it as common knowledge. Therefore, just the stance for holding the sword took him a long time to learn, and the Knight Commander still thought his posture was “not correct or graceful enough”.

When Shiloh saw Eugene letting Shivers teach him swordsmanship, he bristled: Shivers was their Knight Commander, and even proper members of the Brandenburg Knight Order would feel embarrassed to pester him about teaching such basic skills. Shiloh immediately offered to take over the task from Shivers.

Initially, Eugene thought Shiloh was just a kid who probably got his knighthood through his background, and he grumbled, hoping Shivers would continue to teach him. But perhaps Shiloh was taking this opportunity for revenge, scrutinizing his posture while also stepping up the sparring practice, making Eugene howl in pain every morning.

Today, learning that Shiloh was a heavy swordsman, someone who could wield such a cumbersome weapon in full armor (knight armor was as heavy as a joke), surprised him…

They shouldn’t call it the Brandenburg Knight Order, but the Brandenburg Monster Order.

Eugene thought resentfully as he was once again flipped onto the ground by Shiloh.

Shiloh’s timely assistance was perfect, as his master had been somewhat anxious these past few days, which worried Shivers.

Like Erica, he didn’t quite understand why the Duke suddenly cared whether his sister was pregnant, but as the Knight Commander of the Duke’s personal guard, he, like Erica, possessed an extraordinary intuition.

This trait was most pronounced in Duke Dwight, to the point where even the rabbit-headed shopkeeper privately thought his acuity was almost elven.

Whether it was because he himself possessed this special ability and subconsciously gathered like-minded individuals or because they had been gradually trained as part of Dwight’s family reserve forces since childhood, even Shiloh showed similar characteristics, although his thought process was more akin to an animal’s instinctual nature.

The change in the Duke’s attitude was clearly after the private conversation with Charlie, but afterwards, both of them avoided discussing the content of their conversation.

Of course, Shivers couldn’t ask Dwight directly, but even the usually amiable rabbit-headed shopkeeper adopted an evasive stance when Shivers inquired diplomatically. This seemed like a signal, and the frequency of their private discussions increased, giving Shivers a subtle feeling.

He could somewhat understand that sharing various experiences, especially adventures, indeed acted as a catalyst for a sense of camaraderie between people. Not only was this true for the Duke and the shopkeeper, but it was the same for him with Eugene and Columbus, which was why the departure of the little tin soldier made everyone feel very sad.

But on top of that, having secrets in common also brought them closer to each other than to others.

It wasn’t that Shivers had any complaints about Charlie. Although the rabbit-headed shopkeeper was a mystery in many ways, his actions and speech were forthright, and intuition told him that Charlie wasn’t a person with ill intentions.

It was just that he and the Duke had been together almost since they were old enough to write, more like brothers than master and servant.

As the Duke’s first confidant, he had always felt that he was the most trusted by the Duke—indeed, this was also the tradition at Brandenburg. No matter how many marriages and loves a Duke went through, no matter how many children and vassals he had, the head of the Brandenburg Knight Order was always the sword in the Duke’s hand, the person closest to his power and secrets.

Shivers could feel that the Duke was curious about and sought to explore more about this mysterious shopkeeper, and interest often served as the gateway to investment.

The Duke’s unusual interest and trust in Charlie were unsettling for Shivers.

This unease wasn’t about fearing the loss of the Duke’s favor, as his loyalty to the Duke was always one-sided, requiring no feedback or reciprocation from the Duke.

His uncertainty was more about Charlie.

Perhaps Charlie wasn’t a bad person, but that didn’t mean he could necessarily be a good object for the Duke’s emotional investment.

The allure caused by a man’s mystery wasn’t only effective on women.

But behind the secrecy, what kind of person was the shopkeeper, really?

Could he offer the Duke an equal emotional return?

Such a man seemed too much of a wanderer. Aside from Columbus causing him a brief moment of instability, Shivers had never seen him truly reveal his emotions.

Charlie was like a wandering merchant, his baggage filled with countless curiosities that tempted one to explore.

As friends met by chance, his secrets and stories were easily refreshing, intriguing one to draw closer, but at the end of everything, would the Duke, Shivers, Eugene, and Shiloh just be one of the many stories he collected on his journey?

Could the Duke, accustomed to being adored by everyone, foresee or accept such an emotional discrepancy?

But no matter what, this wasn’t something he could meddle in…

The Knight Commander pushed open the door of the study, and his heart tangled even more at the sight of the rabbit-headed shopkeeper also inside, sitting across from the Duke.

Dwight looked up at Shivers, and his brow furrowed at the sight of what he held in his hand.

It was a letter from Erica.

Brandenburg didn’t have a dedicated mage, but they had a rich supply of magical items stored as backup—among them a magic stone used for urgent message delivery.

This magical item called a “Compass” could only be crafted by high-level mages. It involved engraving teleportation magic circles on two gems of the exact same purity. When used, the two gems could create a brief symbiotic space, allowing the magic circles to share information instantly when activated.

The principle was simple, akin to physically splitting a single altar into two linked halves, where the point of sacrifice became the endpoint.

This was a basic magical theory but was classified under advanced magic due to its operational difficulty.

The requirement of identical purity gems alone eliminated many mages with insufficient resources, not to mention the risk of damaging the gems during the intricate process of engraving the magic circles. More crucially, this magic was one-time use. The gems were destroyed after use, and there were limits on the volume and weight of the transported items, typically only allowing the exchange of documents up to five pages—making the investment-to-output ratio terrifyingly low.

Therefore, even though most mages could recite this teleportation circle from memory, this communication method remained affordable only to a small portion of the nobility.

Because Shivers and the Duke were inseparable, the arrangement of the magic stones when they left Lemena was that Erica and Shivers each held a part, to be used for covert communication.

Given Erica’s style of doing things, she should have sent a reply within two days of receiving a letter from Shivers, but this time it was delayed by nearly two days, allowing Dwight to guess the contents of Erica’s letter without even opening the envelope.

As the Duke had expected, Erica’s unusually cautious attitude led her to double-check the information reported back by her own spies with a third party—either local informants or the all-knowing Fox family—for further confirmation.

But for some reason, Erica intuitively felt that this matter should not be investigated too openly. It was better to keep it discreet so as not to let anyone notice that someone was interested in the Countess’ condition.

Thus, she took extra time after arriving in Syriacochi to confirm the facts before writing back to Shivers immediately.

Erica’s prudence was advantageous here—without knowing that Dwight and others had passed through Thorn Manor, Dr. Salman’s experiences there were also included in the letter as part of the information.


<<< || Table of Contents || >>>

Charlie’s Book Ch63

Author: 冬瓜茶仙人 / Winter Melon Tea Immortal

Translator: Kinky || https://kinkytranslations.com/


Chapter 63

Erica stood on the porch, watching two servants load tobacco leaves, candies, and a local specialty called “white cakes” onto the lead caravan.

White cakes, made with a lot of sugar, apples, and flour, were both sweet and hard but luxurious in ingredients and durable for storage. Many travelers liked to pack some in their luggage, both to stave off hunger and to show off.

Erica, of course, had no intention of showing off, but as part of a formally documented trade caravan, it was routine to purchase local goods at each stop and resell some of their stock.

Although all this was meant to divert attention, the caravan named Fuji managed to make quite a profit from selling local specialties.

But beyond the trade of goods, the caravan named Fuji had a more critical role.

Since entering the continent of Doran, Erica had consciously left contact points in every town they had stayed, which, like threads of a spider’s web, connected inconspicuously across this vast territory, with the web’s center pinned in Syriacochi—this was decided by the old steward, Erica’s father, before the Duke set out.

Lemena had no intention of getting involved in the turbulent affairs of Doran. Their primary task was to ensure the Duke received the maximum support abroad, and his visit focused undeniably on the kingdom of Mokwen.

Lestrop’s domain was some distance from the capital, Syriacochi, and to avoid suspicion, the old steward ultimately decided to place their informants in the capital, a decision that proved very wise.

“You’re well-prepared,” a voice said from behind her. Erica turned to see Dr. Salman wearing a travel-friendly, rolled-up robe and thick boots. His medium-length hair was tied at the nape.

Erica nodded. “It’s always a bit chaotic at the start, but you get used to it after a while.”

A laborer tried to take the carrying case from Salman’s hands to put it on the cart, but he gently declined.

Seeing Erica’s gaze, he smiled a bit sheepishly.

“It’s full of glass vials,” he explained. “Most of the stuff has been sold off. Some leftovers aren’t easy to sell and can be unsafe if used carelessly. I’ve decided to carry them with me, though I’m not sure if I’ll go back to my old job once we get to the next place.”

Erica didn’t smile.

She was almost as tall as Dr. Salman, and the two of them standing side by side on the porch often drew the attention of the passing helpers, particularly the women. In fact, Erica received even more attention, especially when she looked serious, which was more charming. Shiloh’s first love was ruthlessly crushed by her.

Shiloh was sent back to the Duke’s side as a contact after the castle incident, and it was Dr. Salman who stayed to help her with the aftermath. Thus, Erica was well aware that the man before her had talents and capabilities far exceeding what he showed, though whether the experience and capabilities gained through endless loneliness were worth it was debatable.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Erica asked.

Salman looked back at her gently. “My intuition never fails me. As long as I follow the path I want to take, I will always meet my loved one. Thank you for agreeing to give me a lift for part of the way. It greatly shortened the time for my plans.”

Erica nodded and said no more.

Dr. Salman had already been planning to leave Ropappas. The accidental involvement in the castle incident just extended his stay a few days. He seemed to have stirred up a little trouble locally and was now conveniently using the caravan’s cover to leave.

She had originally planned to stay a few more days to completely eliminate the lingering effects of several tycoons and a Baron’s sudden disappearance in the city, but since her efforts were initially focused on finding and compensating the girls’ families, she was stretched too thin. Thus, the city was rife with rumors and discussions.

Just then, an urgent letter from the Duke arrived, and Erica could only dispatch more people to stay in Ropappas while she herself set off immediately for Syriacochi to prepare in advance, hence the small journey she shared with Dr. Salman.

Perhaps it was the shared experience of rescuing Alice and others that quickly closed the distance between Erica and Salman.

Although Salman appeared young, he had already traveled across much of Doran, experiencing countless dangers and stories, which young Erica loved to hear, often inviting him for a drink during caravan breaks.

“I lived in Ropappas for ten years,” Dr. Salman said, leaning back against the cushioned back of the carriage in a relaxed posture. “I usually don’t stay in one place too long—ten or maybe fifteen years is the limit. Because my appearance doesn’t age with time, staying longer than that makes it easy for people to notice something unusual about me, and they might misunderstand me as a vampire or a black mage… Although I’m not, sometimes it’s really hard to explain.”

Erica nodded. “I understand. You could have stayed longer. What made you leave so cautiously? Although my power is limited, please don’t hesitate to ask for help if you need it.”

Salman shook his head. Perhaps because the caravan had already left Ropappas, his demeanor had become much more relaxed.

“If a person lives too long, they inevitably accumulate many secrets,” he said softly. “But I know that you and Mr. Charlie come from another continent, and Doran may be more dangerous than you anticipated. If you continue to stay in Mokwen, I think it’s better for you to know about this.”

“I was an apprentice apothecarist in Arato for three years. The old apothecarist treated me like his child and recommended that I learn from a friend of his, an experienced old doctor. Surgeons can easily earn generous compensation and treatment, but I didn’t want to attract the attention of the powerful and thus lose my freedom, so I chose to settle in the marginal city of Ropappas ten years ago. Over the years, I’ve accumulated quite a network and reputation, often receiving invitations from the wealthy and nobility to treat illnesses in their estates or castles.”

As a surgeon, emergency calls were inevitable.

For this, Salman was fully prepared. He had shift porters, a long-term partnership with a carriage (although wealthy people usually took care of transportation), and a medical bag prepared for various situations, even training an apprentice who could handle basic cleaning, bandaging, stitching, and dispensing.

When the door was knocked on that night, he thought it was just another routine call.

Although it was already dark and required leaving the city, because it was the estate of a prestigious gentleman who promised a substantial fee, he didn’t think much of it and followed.

The patient was a young woman, eight months pregnant, with a prominently swollen belly. She was pale faced, having fainted several times, yet continuously being awakened.

Salman immediately knew she must have encountered an accident that endangered the child. Although she was far along, the delay was too long, and the child had a high chance of not surviving.

When he expressed to the master that he could only do his best to save the lady’s life, he unexpectedly encountered vehement opposition. They had actually invited him to induce labor and deliver the child before the mother’s death, no matter what.

This request was very unusual, at least in the kingdom of Mokwen.

Even a farmer in a barn wouldn’t choose the child under such circumstances. Salman was very surprised but wisely didn’t voice any objections—given the patient couldn’t afford delay, and leveraging the fact that he was the only doctor in the room, he still tried his best to save the lady.

But it was like a miracle—the baby that was born didn’t die immediately. The apprentice was forbidden from entering the room, and Salman could only try to save the mother while also looking after the infant. However, he soon discovered many unusual things about the newborn.

“He didn’t cry,” Salman said softly. “It’s common for newborns not to cry right away. We usually stimulate them a bit. I pricked the child’s fingertip with a fine needle, and he cried, but… I noticed his blood was blue.”

He had never seen human blood of that color before.

Salman was very surprised but didn’t show it. Instead, he discreetly cleaned the blood off the needle, and it was fortunate he did so—upon hearing the child’s cry, several people burst into the bedroom, ignoring all obstacles, and took the child away.

Their urgency was unusual. Even before they had fully left the bedroom, Salman heard someone whispering in a hushed voice, “…check the color… It’s here.”

Ten minutes after they left, the room, which had been slightly stuffy due to the burning fireplace, suddenly dropped in temperature strangely. A weird, suffocating atmosphere enveloped the room, and the woman, who was already stabilized, began to shiver uncontrollably. By then, no one was left in the room except for Salman.

The pale-faced young woman, half-conscious and half-delirious, clutched his hand tightly, repeating over and over, “Kill him… Kill him… He must be killed…”

Salman thought she was having a hysterical fit and tried to give her a sedative, but she reacted violently to the medication. As soon as she saw the medicine bottle, she struggled wildly, screaming that she didn’t want it, that it would give birth to a monster.

If at this point Salman didn’t realize he was involved in something serious, then he would have considered all his years of experience wasted.

He calmly sedated her, sparing no expense with valuable medicines to preserve her life—unexpectedly, an hour later, the child was brought back.

But this time, the child wasn’t breathing.

They said the child had died prematurely and asked Salman to give him one last bath before hastily burying him in the garden of the house.

“While washing, I meddled a bit and pricked the child’s fingertip again. His blood had not yet clotted, but this time the blood from the fingertip was red.”

If not for the woman’s delirious ravings while semi-conscious, he might have truly believed his first observation of blue blood was a hallucination.

“I did my best to preserve her life, which was the right decision, and I guess that’s why I managed to save both my apprentice’s life and my own.” Dr. Salman looked down at his wine glass, his voice very low. “I don’t know what she had been through, but the child’s birth must have involved some unnatural intervention, an act considered extremely evil in any doctrine. They wouldn’t want their secret exposed. But I managed to save her life… With the child already deceased, having the mother still alive allowed them to analyze and review the failure. If her condition worsened, they might still need me… I managed to escape smoothly by using the Baron as an excuse.”

They all knew what happened next.

Dr. Salman dismissed everyone associated with him, canceled his house lease, sold his furniture, and if Erica and Charlie had arrived just two hours later, he would have already left the city.

“I myself am hardly a normal human anymore, so I’m quite sensitive to magic and curses. I’m certain that the sudden drop in temperature in the room after the child was taken was due to something peculiar happening. That’s why, when I heard about the many young women confined in the castle, I became alert and asked to join you… Since ancient times, life magic has been taboo. If you encounter traces of such events on your journey, please don’t investigate or touch them, and leave as soon as possible.” Salman looked at the serious-faced Erica and spoke earnestly.

The early spring fields were turning green, making the roads much more passable than in the cold winter. The caravan didn’t need to seek shelter from snow or wind, and their progress was swift.

Erica sat in her carriage, holding a glass pen, lost in thought.

As she had traveled, the bird communication network typically used by Brandenburg was beginning to take shape in Doran, though it still lacked a bit of responsiveness.

Fortunately, intricately designed magical items could compensate for this deficiency, though costly and limited in use, typically reserved for emergencies. But now…

Erica dipped her pen in ink and began to write the first word on the letter.

Dear Green, 

I’m writing this response to you from the carriage on my way to Syriacochi.

The personnel stationed in the capital are reliable. They reported back to me immediately.

While this matter requires further verification by me, I think it necessary to discuss the clues we have so far, so you can make a preliminary judgment.

The cook at the Earl’s residence buys food every two days. She often talks to the apothecarist’s wife due to her back pain. On February 12th, she complained about having to discard a large amount of fresh celery because it nauseated the Lady of the House, even though preparing celery along with chrysanthemums and oats was usual. The change in her Mistress’ taste caught her off guard.

The Earl’s physician completed a prescription at Akarla Apothecary: oatmeal, distilled water, rose petals, and a mixture of three types of animal bones, a formula typically used in eastern Doran to treat headaches in pregnant women.

As the carriage rolled over a sharp little stone buried in the dirt, it jolted the compartment. The tip of Erica’s pen trembled, causing a drop of ink to fall onto the letterhead, leaving a rust-colored ink stain.

Erica set down her pen, staring off into space for a while, then crumpled the letter into a tight ball in her hand.

Seconds later, the crumpled paper ball burst into a small flame from within and quietly burned out.

Apart from a past relationship with the Queen that had become taboo, Count Lestrop’s personal life and that of his brother had little in common, aside from one or two socialites rumored to have liaisons across the country. In fact, there was little to dig into about his romantic escapades. His focus seemed more on border conflicts and several disputed mineral veins, more similar in character to the old King in this respect.

For this reason, it was unlikely that another woman in the Earl’s estate, experiencing a significant change in taste and pregnancy headaches at this time, existed.

Erica didn’t know why the Duke was suddenly concerned about this—logically, it would be good news for both Miss Priscilla and her husband if they had a child after several years of marriage.

But perhaps Dr. Salman’s recounted experiences had made her overly nervous. She revised the letter several times and had yet to finish it.

Her intuition told her something wasn’t quite right.


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Again and Again Ch25

Author: 反舌鸟 / Mockingbird

Translator: Kinky || https://kinkytranslations.com/
Editor: Eli


Chapter 25

During the time Yu Ruoyun was away, Jiang Yu didn’t have a moment to spare.

He took part in a variety show featuring celebrities who, while not top-tier, were seasoned artists. When faced with this group of veterans, the usually irritable Jiang Yu quickly changed his demeanor, knowing exactly how to please and blend in. In the Beijing circle, people loved organizing dinners. Strangers would become acquaintances after sharing a meal. Jiang Yu adapted swiftly, fitting in even as a newcomer, to the point where others started inviting him along.

After the meal, as everyone was saying their goodbyes at the door, it turned out Jiang Yu didn’t have a car while everyone else did. People offered to give him a ride, but he refused, saying he’d take a cab since the address was Yu Ruoyun’s, and he wanted to avoid any complications. Amid the commotion, Yu Ruoyun called.

“Where are you?” Yu Ruoyun asked over the phone. He had returned a day early and found that Jiang Yu wasn’t home, despite it being nighttime.

“At…,” Jiang Yu, a bit tipsy and muddled, struggled to remember. He asked someone nearby, “What’s this place called again? Oh, Ding Shiju.”

“I’ll be back soon,” Jiang Yu said to Yu Ruoyun, preparing to get into the car. He stood by the roadside as vehicles came and went. Seeing that he was blocking the way, drivers honked their horns, urging Jiang Yu to move aside.

“I’ll come pick you up,” Yu Ruoyun said, hanging up abruptly.

“What did you say?” Jiang Yu asked, a bit confused, but the other side had already ended the call.

“Who was that?” someone else asked Jiang Yu.

“He said he’s coming to get me.” Jiang Yu put his phone aside, feeling a bit bewildered.

“Who is he?” the curious person pressed.

How should he describe him? Jiang Yu was at a loss. No title seemed appropriate. So he simply said, “Yu Ruoyun.”

Even those who were about to leave stayed, waiting for Yu Ruoyun. Sure enough, Yu Ruoyun arrived and got out of the car. Seeing a few familiar faces, he jokingly said, “You guys are corrupting the young ones again.”

“We’re innocent!” one protested. “It’s just dinner, not anything shady! You haven’t been out in ages. Why can’t others have a get-together?”

“This is my friend. Look after him in the future,” Yu Ruoyun’s words meant more to Jiang Yu than all the drinks he had earlier.

“What kind of friend?” someone asked suggestively.

It seemed Yu Ruoyun wanted to say more, but before Jiang Yu could decide whether to stop him, a delivery bike zoomed past, almost hitting Jiang Yu. Yu Ruoyun’s eyes twitched as he pulled Jiang Yu to his side.

“Let’s go,” Yu Ruoyun said. “Let’s grab dinner together next time.”

Jiang Yu was practically thrown into the car. He felt Yu Ruoyun was a bit rough and complained, “Why did you come? It’s too…”

Alcohol clouded his brain, and he couldn’t find the words.

“You don’t have a car, so I’m just giving you a ride,” Yu Ruoyun said. “Be more careful when walking. Don’t get too close to the road.”

Jiang Yu felt wronged. “He was the one driving over here.”

“If he’s driving over, can’t you avoid him?” Yu Ruoyun said slowly. “Can’t you watch where you’re going?”

Jiang Yu didn’t understand why Yu Ruoyun was angry. He sat up, opened the window for some air, and gradually sobered up.

“Sorry,” he thought. He resolved to follow traffic rules in the future.

But Yu Ruoyun wasn’t done. “You should also cut down on these dinner gatherings.”

As if forgetting he had just agreed to meet them again next time.

“I don’t like them either,” Jiang Yu said, annoyed. “It’s just how it is. People from all over come to Beijing and start organizing dinners to fit in. It’s the only way to network. They all claim to know important people…”

Yu Ruoyun listened to Jiang Yu rant about regional stereotypes. When he finished, Yu Ruoyun said, “Then you’ll just have to come to Beijing.”

Of course, Beijing was the political and cultural center. How else could he get by?

“Are you worried about me?” Jiang Yu asked. “But by coming over like this, people will have a lot to say.”

Yu Ruoyun handed him some hangover medicine. “There’s water in the back. Sober up.”

Jiang Yu obediently took it, wanting to talk more, but Yu Ruoyun ignored him. The long red lights came one after another, with no end in sight.

As they neared their destination, Jiang Yu noticed something was off. He asked, “Why take this route? Isn’t Gate Three closer?”

“Not that way,” Yu Ruoyun said. “Jiang Yu had an accident on that road.”

The car fell silent. After a few minutes, Jiang Yu forced a smile. “You’re being overly cautious. Nothing will happen to you…”

“I wish I could die there,” Yu Ruoyun interrupted. “If I died, what would you do?”

Jiang Yu didn’t want to answer but was a bit scared. “You won’t die.”

How could Yu Ruoyun die? He refused to consider that possibility.

“True,” Yu Ruoyun said. “Living is harder than dying.”

He still had to live and settle scores with Jiang Yu.

They went straight from the underground parking lot, where few people were around. But when Yu Ruoyun suddenly grabbed his hand, Jiang Yu instinctively tried to pull away.

He failed. Yu Ruoyun’s grip was strong.

“Still like this.” Yu Ruoyun chuckled. “Always scared of being found out but can’t help getting close. You’re just like that. I shouldn’t have listened to you.”

Jiang Yu turned his head, avoiding Yu Ruoyun’s gaze. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

The elevator opened. A plastic bag hung from the door handle

Yu Ruoyun took the bag down and opened the door.

“I got you some porridge.” Yu Ruoyun placed it in front of Jiang Yu. “You should eat something before drinking.”

Yu Ruoyun always told him that, but Jiang Yu never listened. After all, if he ended up vomiting, he’d rather not throw up food.

But now, Jiang Yu stayed silent, quietly eating the porridge. The tension in the air made him feel something was off about Yu Ruoyun today.

“This past year, more than four hundred days, I’ve been thinking.” Yu Ruoyun sat across from Jiang Yu, looking at him, “Every day I’ve been wondering what went wrong. I must have done something wrong for me to never know he had written a will, for him to want to die.”

“In recent months, I’ve been thinking about something else. I keep wondering, during the years we were together, what did I do that made him not trust me at all, preferring to ask a distant acquaintance from a company for a role rather than come to me. Even now, he doesn’t want to say this out loud: he thinks I’m the kind of person who can start over, that losing a lover means just finding another one. He thinks I’m that kind of person.”

“Can you tell me why?” Yu Ruoyun’s voice was low as he asked Jiang Yu.


<<< || Table of Contents || >>>

Again and Again Ch24

Author: 反舌鸟 / Mockingbird

Translator: Kinky || https://kinkytranslations.com/
Editor: Eli


Chapter 24

Jiang Yu came across a somewhat unimportant piece of news on his social media feed.

A staff member in charge of casting was urgently seeking a male actor: height, weight, and a sunny, healthy appearance were specified, around twenty-five years old, preferably with some acting experience, and requiring an audition.

In the comments, the director complained that the originally chosen actor had suddenly fallen ill. This role wasn’t minor, and filming was about to start, so anyone who knew someone suitable should recommend them quickly.

Jiang Yu’s heart stirred as he thought of someone. Even though it was late at night, he contacted the person directly, sending a screenshot and the contact number to Lu Zheming. “I think you’d be a good fit. Why not go for the audition?”

Lu Zheming felt hesitant. “Isn’t this a bit too rushed…”

“Just give it a try. It won’t hurt.” Jiang Yu couldn’t help but lecture Lu Zheming. “You need to pave your own way. Having a smaller role has its advantages. It won’t take much time, and you might even become popular.”

Jiang Yu vaguely remembered this role. It was in the last unit of this web series, and there were rumors of some big names making special appearances. Originally, Long Xingyu wouldn’t have gotten to see the full script usually, but Yu Ruoyun had some copies. He finished it and even took a copy home, and Yu Ruoyun hadn’t asked for it back. The script had Yu Ruoyun’s notes, written extensively, and Jiang Yu often flipped through it, nearly memorizing the entire story.

He told Lu Zheming that he had spoken to the casting director, but admitted he wasn’t a big shot, so his influence was minimal. It would still depend on Lu Zheming’s abilities. After the small company finished shooting this snack commercial, there were no other external engagements. If they didn’t find their own resources, they’d be stuck in the practice room waiting for teachers. The company was responsible, but what good did that do? Without a stage, who cared about their singing and dancing?

Lu Zheming stopped resisting. “Thanks. I’ll head over tomorrow.”

Jiang Yu felt relieved, but when he checked the time, he realized he’d only get a few hours of sleep. He thought of Yu Ruoyun again.

Yu Ruoyun had said he’d be back in a few days, meaning the filming was almost over. He’d see Yu Ruoyun soon.

He needed to discuss some things with Yu Ruoyun, like whether they should debunk the rumors that weren’t even really rumors, maybe take a selfie to show they were just friends. Had Yu Ruoyun ever taken a selfie? Probably not. He was always so aloof, but people were used to it, thinking Yu Ruoyun was meant to be above others, giving guidance. Jiang Yu, on the other hand, wasn’t like that. Whenever he lashed out, people would think, “Who does Jiang Yu think he is? Didn’t he start from minor roles too? Hasn’t he acted in enough bad films? Why look down on others?”

The inherent disparity was there from the moment they entered the entertainment industry. How could he not have been jealous?

It was because of this jealousy that when he saw Yu Ruoyun reduced to acting in a web series, the complex feelings drove him to provoke Yu Ruoyun. “You’re washed up, you’re outdated, you’ve lost your commercial value.” Over and over in his mind, he thought, “Why?”

The trophies were still there, taking up a whole row—so many that he didn’t bother counting. Only Jiang Yu knew that Yu Ruoyun deserved every single one.

They had ridden the waves of changing times, transitioning from print media and television to the internet, witnessing the decline of the music industry and the expansion of the film market. Once, being an actor was considered frivolous; now, being an influencer selling clothes could earn millions a month. Surviving such a tumultuous environment, it shouldn’t end this way. But the entertainment industry didn’t provide a minimum income guarantee for geniuses.

Jiang Yu didn’t think he had the right to pity Yu Ruoyun, but he couldn’t help it.

……

Wang Yao finally secured an appointment with Yu Ruoyun.

He wasn’t the kind of reporter who needed to chase news constantly. He could take his time crafting articles. But Yu Ruoyun never had time, always busy. Wang Yao liked writing about celebrities, which his friends found odd. Generally, straight men didn’t chase stars. He always argued, “I’m not chasing stars. They’re my interview subjects.”

“If you like doing interviews, why not be a sports reporter? You like playing basketball. Why interview people covered in makeup all day?”

“You don’t understand.”

“Then ask for me. I like that actress. Is she really dating so-and-so? I heard she’s pregnant!”

“Fuck off!”

Having written many such pieces, celebrities liked his articles. He had a knack for digging out and amplifying details, making them relatable—and his articles were good for saving their reputation. Having interviewed many big stars, it was natural for him to list Yu Ruoyun as a target, but he hadn’t expected it to take so long.

There had been interactions in between, but Yu Ruoyun dodged his sharp questions, leaving Wang Yao feeling like he was punching cotton.

“He doesn’t have much desire to express himself,” a colleague told Wang Yao the day before, sharing their experience. “It’s like he doesn’t need to confide in the outside world and is very smart, knowing which questions are traps. He’s actually cooperative, but it’s just not interesting.”

This didn’t sound like a good interview subject, but Wang Yao had a mission this time. Yu Ruoyun’s new movie was about to be released—a miracle, considering it was shot years ago. The magazine interview was part of the promotion. Yu Ruoyun was cooperative, still filming on set, and suggested Wang Yao come over first to prepare the draft. The hotel room was even booked for him, which he appreciated—not for the money but because it saved him from submitting another reimbursement form.

On-site, Wang Yao found Yu Ruoyun truly impenetrable.

The task was quickly completed. Regarding the movie itself, Yu Ruoyun answered whatever was asked.

“It was filmed in the Northwest. The conditions weren’t particularly bad compared to ten years ago. At least we could find a toilet.”

“Bo Yan is a great actor. We had many interactions. The movie has two storylines, his and mine, that intertwine in the end. In fact, art films aren’t necessarily boring. I think it’s a very interesting story.”

Talking about his role, Yu Ruoyun showed some enthusiasm, but Wang Yao felt frustrated. The movie hadn’t been released yet, and he wasn’t interested in these details.

He wanted to ask about Yu Ruoyun himself, this actor who became famous as a teenager. But finding the right time to ask was difficult.

After he complained to his colleagues later, they were delighted to have predicted it. They told Wang Yao that Jiang Yu was easier to deal with, full of scars from the past. It was easy to trigger his pride, but with a bit of consolation, he’d expose his weaknesses.

“The highlight of my interview with him came at the end. I said I had to leave, couldn’t afford a cab because my hotel was far. He asked where I was staying. I said at the Qilin Hotel. He laughed, saying, ‘Your boss is stingy. The reimbursement standards are low.’ Then he told a story: ‘That hotel used to be full of crew members. During the day, the corridor doors were open, actors walked in for auditions, introducing themselves, quickly leaving. They might walk all day without getting a role. He was underage then, and people asked, ‘Where’s your mom?’ He hadn’t brought a guardian, just his ID, so no one wanted him, telling him to go home. He argued, saying Yu Ruoyun was about his age, so why could he do it and not him? He waited until he got a minor role, then realized he couldn’t waste time like that, reconciled with his family, signed with a company, and seriously prepared for university.’”

“He said he’d seen many with star dreams there, asking, ‘Do I look like Andy Lau?’ Maybe one in a thousand would be seen again, and the chance of becoming famous was even lower, but he did it,” the colleague said. “I remember that article won an award that year. He’s easy to handle, just don’t ask if he’ll go crazy if he doesn’t win an award, and he won’t want to kill you. If you play the pity card, he’ll give you a story.”

Would this work for Yu Ruoyun? Wang Yao decided to try.

He deleted the sharp questions, no longer asking if Yu Ruoyun felt he wasn’t as good as before, why he took on a web series, and rephrased everything to make himself seem like a concerned friend.

“Expectations for love?” Yu Ruoyun finally reacted. “Why ask that? I thought such questions were for girls in their twenties.”

“Men can also look forward to love,” Wang Yao said, feeling like a gossip journalist now. “Besides, everyone’s curious about your love life.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever had expectations,” Yu Ruoyun said.

Wang Yao felt disappointed, expecting another evasive answer with no real content.

“If it’s anticipated, then it’s not love. How can you predict who you’ll fall in love with?” But Yu Ruoyun didn’t stop. “Sometimes you know someone is drawn to your light, but you still love them. You don’t want to show any shortcomings in front of them, and it becomes a habit.”

Wang Yao’s mouth opened slightly. Did he accidentally hear something significant?

“I do look forward to love.” Yu Ruoyun came back to his senses, as if what he said before was someone else’s story. “It will come soon.”

Very soon.


Kinky Thoughts:

It’s kind of bittersweet how we get to see both sides bit by bit why their relationship in the past was so tumultuous. Jiang Yu with his inferiority complex, which is only exacerbated by Yu Ruoyun’s perfect façade that he maintains because he thinks that’s why Jiang Yu loves him.


<<< || Table of Contents || >>>

Again and Again Ch23

Author: 反舌鸟 / Mockingbird

Translator: Kinky || https://kinkytranslations.com/
Editor: Eli


Chapter 23

When alone, this house felt a bit too large.

On the bookshelf, behind Jiang Yu’s Lifetime Achievement Award, there was a collection of Yu Ruoyun’s trophies. The Lifetime Achievement Award could only be won once in a lifetime, and Yu Ruoyun hadn’t reached that point yet. Maybe one day he would. But there was another award that could only be won once in a lifetime, which neither of them had any chance of winning anymore.

The Best Newcomer Award.

Yu Ruoyun didn’t get it because he won Best Actor that year. Later, people involved with the committee revealed that they originally wanted to give him the Best Newcomer as well. The judges argued about it for a long time and ultimately decided that giving both awards would be too grand; winning Best Actor was enough. So, Best Newcomer went to another new actor.

The reason Jiang Yu didn’t get the award was somewhat laughable. The film he was in received good reviews, and he played a supporting role, successfully making the shortlist. It was his first film, and though he was just over twenty, he was already a familiar face after acting in many TV dramas; he’d even starred in a few low-budget series. Winning Best Newcomer would have undoubtedly been a great boost for him. Before the award ceremony, Jiang Yu found out he was disqualified. Someone reported that Jiang Yu had acted in a film back in school. After thinking hard, Jiang Yu vaguely remembered such an event. At the time, an unprofessional film crew needed people, and the director, an acquaintance from the directing department, insisted on having him join. He only filmed for four days, and somehow the movie got released with a box office of three thousand yuan. It was mainly for the director’s resume, and Jiang Yu had long forgotten about it. But now that his past was brought up, he was disqualified, with no second chance.

But back then, he wasn’t too upset; he thought it was unimportant. He was young and believed there would be plenty of opportunities ahead.

Now, he wondered if he started acting again, could he win a Best Newcomer Award? Recently, a director even praised his talent. He didn’t fully agree, feeling like he was cheating, but he was still a bit happy.

“Yu Ruoyun,” Jiang Yu called out the homeowner’s name. “Did you figure it out?”

He wasn’t entirely unaware. Maybe Yu Ruoyun had long felt something was off, waiting for him to reveal the answer. Not necessarily guessing his rebirth, but certainly connecting it to Jiang Yu.

Yet even now, Jiang Yu couldn’t be completely honest. Every time he got shortlisted before, he was a favorite, receiving hints from various sources that he might win. He went enthusiastically, only to return empty-handed. But now, thinking back, it didn’t seem like such a torment. It was just an award, after all, and he had one now.

Whenever Jiang Yu saw adults throw kids into the air, the kids were never scared, always grinning, finding it a fun game because they’d always be caught. But adults, when riding a roller coaster, scream when they plummet.

Because adults had experienced falling. Knowing how painful it could be, they learned fear. Like the repeated hopes for an award followed by disappointment or a painstakingly made film receiving no acclaim.

Jiang Yu was terrified, afraid of falling and having nothing left.

After his death, Jiang Yu became a highly esteemed artist, won prestigious awards, and had Yu Ruoyun.

He was willing to continue being a dead man or a counterfeit who looked like Jiang Yu in Yu Ruoyun’s eyes. Because being alive meant facing many challenges and choices, and the living Jiang Yu wasn’t that important to Yu Ruoyun. The roller coaster was soaring skyward, and he didn’t want to fall.

“I miss you too.” Yu Ruoyun wasn’t there, so Jiang Yu felt safe to say it out loud.

The house was empty, with a faint echo.

He slept in Yu Ruoyun’s bed, wore Yu Ruoyun’s pajamas, and occupied Yu Ruoyun’s space, with only Yu Ruoyun himself absent. Yet now, Jiang Yu was somewhat afraid to go find him.

Yu Ruoyun seemed crazy these days, only talking about Jiang Yu, testing his reactions. He wished he could find a baseball bat and knock Yu Ruoyun into amnesia again.

“You don’t follow the script at all,” Jiang Yu said, looking at Yu Ruoyun’s avatar on his phone. “Who loses their memory like this? This is the downside of not acting in dramas. You don’t know the clichés. Can’t you be more obedient? When I say I’m your boyfriend, you should immediately believe it and say, ‘So that’s how it is.’ Then I’ll say, ‘Yes, and you owe me a lot of money. Now you can’t pay me back, so you have to be my servant…’”

He was just talking to himself, pressing the voice button and able to swipe up to cancel. But Yu Ruoyun’s bed was so uncomfortable that he accidentally let go, sending the voice message.

Why did he always make such mistakes with Yu Ruoyun? He was annoyed and wanted to retract it, but Yu Ruoyun was too quick and had already replied.

It was just a few seconds of voice. Yu Ruoyun said, “So that’s how it is.”

Outside, it wasn’t only windy but also raining. It was time to sleep. He had to get up early tomorrow. Jiang Yu turned over, ready to fall into an unknown dream.

He suddenly stopped, frozen, unable to move, staring at the vase on the bedside table.

There was no water in the vase, not even real plants—just a single, not-so-pretty paper rose with water stains. He remembered throwing it into the trash.

After living for over thirty years, acting for more than a decade, being dead for a year, and being reborn once, time kept moving, and everything kept changing. But a rose was still a rose, and a rose only had one meaning.

He had received Yu Ruoyun’s rose.


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