Author: 反舌鸟 / Mockingbird
Translator: Kinky || https://kinkytranslations.com/
Editor: Eli
Chapter 50
“If You Were Fake”
Warning: This article is seriously OOC, do not substitute real people, do not tag the real owner, there is a substitute plot. R18 uses external links.
Late at night, it was time to sleep, but only the cat was disobedient, repeatedly trying to sneak into the room. Jiang Yu closed the door, letting it scratch for a while until it finally stopped making noise.
Jiang Yu was satisfied but felt something was off, as if he had forgotten something.
He quickly remembered because someone was knocking on the door.
Jiang Yu opened the door somewhat shamefully, and the annoying cat darted in faster than Yu Ruoyun. Yu Ruoyun squatted down, picked up the cat, and then turned to Jiang Yu and said, “Why did you lock me outside?”
‘How could the first step fail so badly,’ Jiang Yu thought. ‘Fantasies are indeed different from reality.’
“He wanted to kiss Yu Ruoyun, but Yu Ruoyun’s finger pressed against his lips, looking at him coldly.”
That’s how that fic seemed to start. Indeed, Yu Ruoyun was someone who easily gave the impression of being cold. Sometimes he could be a bit insensitive, like now when Jiang Yu tilted his face for a kiss, and Yu Ruoyun refused him. “I have a cold.”
This cold might be contagious. That was what Yu Ruoyun said. Then Jiang Yu kissed him anyway, unbuttoning Yu Ruoyun’s shirt, saying, “Since the cost is so high, shouldn’t Teacher Yu give me some compensation?”
Teacher Yu said nothing, his somewhat cool fingers traced Jiang Yu’s face. Jiang Yu lowered his head, slowly knelt down, but then stopped, just kneeling there without further action.
Whether in his past or present life, it seemed he had never done this before. Not for any reason; he just never thought of it. Now acting according to the script, he found it hard to continue.
“Forget it,” Yu Ruoyun said, his palm caressing Jiang Yu’s hair. “No need to do this.”
Actually, he was somewhat lying. Yu Ruoyun was already hard, so Jiang Yu stopped seeking his consent, lowering his head, swallowing with difficulty. He truly didn’t know how. The size made it even harder. Maybe his teeth bumped during the action, but Yu Ruoyun didn’t complain, so Jiang Yu assumed he was enjoying it. In the end, Yu Ruoyun still had the clarity to pull his dick out, but it was a bit late. Some shot onto Jiang Yu’s face, some stayed in his mouth. Jiang Yu wanted to swallow it, but Yu Ruoyun pinched his face. “Spit it out.”
Jiang Yu’s eyes were already red from choking, and Yu Ruoyun’s voice turned a bit stern, making him even more aggrieved. He was still half-kneeling, tears in his eyes, his chin pinched by Yu Ruoyun, looking genuinely pitiful.
In a daze, Jiang Yu remembered, the current scene really resembled the rumored relationship. Yu Ruoyun looked down at him from a high position, while he was just someone who needed to use his body to please Yu Ruoyun, who could dismiss him anytime.
That was the original plan, but Yu Ruoyun was too smart and unwilling to play dumb, completely ruining his plan.
Yu Ruoyun wasn’t the cold, heartless person he imagined. Seeing Jiang Yu stunned, he picked him up, wiping Jiang Yu’s dirty face with tissues. “Swallowing it will make you uncomfortable.”
“Then were you comfortable?” Jiang Yu asked. He thought Yu Ruoyun must have enjoyed it, cumming faster than usual, but he still had to ask.
Yu Ruoyun’s movements paused, then he said, “Not because of this.”
Jiang Yu sat on Yu Ruoyun’s lap, feeling the rising heat. Yu Ruoyun’s voice was right by Jiang Yu’s ear. “You can do whatever you want. I’ll be happy.”
Jiang Yu sighed almost inaudibly, then jumped out of bed and ran to rinse his mouth. As water splashed on his face, he looked at the face in the mirror. It was very young, with a pointed chin and a lip pearl. His lips naturally curved into a smile, giving him a gentle and well-behaved appearance when his eyes were closed. However, when he opened his eyes and looked into the camera, his slightly upturned eyebrows and eyes gave him a sharp and aggressive look. Some people said he resembled a young Jiang Yu, ambitious and determined.
He went back and told Yu Ruoyun. Yu Ruoyun was cooking at the time, made no comment, and just asked him to bring the dishes. By evening, Yu Ruoyun had almost worn him out. While above him, he suddenly said, “They haven’t seen when it looks the most alike.”
Jiang Yu had already forgotten about it, groggily asking, “What?”
Yu Ruoyun didn’t say more and continued to thrust slowly under the dim light. Jiang Yu was held, feeling as if he was swept into a deep sea—suffocating, painful—it made him delirious, but he could no longer surface.
After washing up, Jiang Yu came back but didn’t go back to undressing Yu Ruoyun. His robe was half open, half-lying on the bed. He said to Yu Ruoyun, “You asked what I was doing earlier. I read a fic today.”
He reached for his phone, wanting to show Yu Ruoyun, but after searching, couldn’t find it. “Damn, it got deleted. She got reported too many times, probably.”
Yu Ruoyun sat by the bed, letting Jiang Yu casually rest his legs on him. Jiang Yu was still reminiscing. “It said you don’t love me at all, you treat me as Jiang Yu’s substitute. I approached you for benefits at first, then I started to love you, but you never looked at me, only thinking of Jiang Yu…”
Yu Ruoyun sounded like a scumbag.
“So what was the ending?” The process was too long, so Yu Ruoyun asked directly.
“Of course, you fell in love with me,” Jiang Yu said. “Jiang Yu was just a memory. I’m the one by your side.”
It was a good ending, but it seemed absurd to the people involved. Cold wind blew in, revealing the window was open, but Jiang Yu didn’t want to get down. He felt cold, so he moved closer to Yu Ruoyun.
“In it, you were really harsh to me.” Jiang Yu’s voice lowered, still complaining. “Didn’t care if I was in pain, even said ‘If you don’t want to, you can leave’.”
“That does seem unrealistic.”
“Right…” Jiang Yu agreed. No wonder the fic had thousands of comments for him to see.
“If you didn’t want to, if you wanted to leave me,” Yu Ruoyun objectively evaluated. “I might not let you go easily.”
Jiang Yu was stunned. He didn’t expect Yu Ruoyun to focus on that. He asked, “What would you do? Blacklist or imprison me?”
“I might… feel a bit sad,” Yu Ruoyun said. “Then you’d come back.”
Jiang Yu didn’t feel as cold anymore.
Now he was like a koala, hanging onto Yu Ruoyun, fingers interlocked, face pressed against Yu Ruoyun’s neck. He could feel the slightest movements and the pulse when Yu Ruoyun spoke.
“But in those stories, I did a lot for you.” Jiang Yu said. “I’d die for you, get into a fight for you at least, and only then would you be moved.”
Had he done anything for Yu Ruoyun? Seemed like he hadn’t. Maybe Yu Ruoyun should be harsh to him, stop his nonsense and constant demands, and prevent him from accidentally hurting Yu Ruoyun.
Yu Ruoyun was a strange person, knowing all of Jiang Yu’s weaknesses but never using them to control him, not opening up much, yet Jiang Yu always knew what he needed to.
“Teacher Yu,” Jiang Yu muttered. “Now I feel no male lead, luxury endorsements, or top magazine covers can satisfy me, I want more.”
Yu Ruoyun’s hand rested on Jiang Yu’s neck. “What do you want?”
Unlike Yu Ruoyun, Jiang Yu loved to talk nonsense. “Can you love me forever?”
So cheesy. Long Xingyu in that fic asked Yu Ruoyun the same thing.
Yu Ruoyun was practical, saying, “Love is conditional. My standards are high.”
Jiang Yu didn’t ask more, knowing Yu Ruoyun would continue, “Maybe I’m ruthless and indifferent like in that fic. If you died, I’d forget you, continue living, make love to others, go to places you haven’t been. If you died, I’d forget you.”
He’d repeated that sentence twice. This made Jiang Yu doubt Yu Ruoyun’s memory.
But he had no energy to speak, even trying to joke made his nose sting. Luckily, he could stay in this position, face buried, tears falling unnoticed, onto Yu Ruoyun’s collarbone, rubbing against his collar, not knowing what he was venting.
“You didn’t used to cry so much,” Yu Ruoyun said, somewhat helplessly.
“You didn’t used to threaten me like this either,” Jiang Yu replied.
Yu Ruoyun refused to promise undying love, saying he would soon forget and no longer love him. What kind of lover would say such things?
Maybe Yu Ruoyun did it on purpose, saying such things because all his money was taken by Jiang Yu, showing him the empty pockets so that Jiang Yu couldn’t leave. Even after buying bread and water, he’d have to sit together with Yu Ruoyun and share half with him.
Jiang Yu kissed Yu Ruoyun’s neck and trailed upwards, saying, “Never again. Really, I won’t leave again.”
There always seemed to be some unfairness between them. He was always bothering Yu Ruoyun, like an incessant ghost, but even a seductive ghost knew to add beauty to a scene. He hadn’t done anything for Yu Ruoyun—couldn’t cook, would ruin laundry, and was so clumsy that he couldn’t even give a proper blowjob. So dumb, not knowing the only thing he should do was to stop, not knowing that Yu Ruoyun needed him by his side.
The wind grew stronger again, and still, no one bothered to close the window. Jiang Yu pushed Yu Ruoyun down, and Yu Ruoyun obediently lay back on the bed, not asking what Jiang Yu intended to do, just pressing on the back of Jiang Yu’s neck, gently stroking upwards.
Yu Ruoyun’s hands were warm but not hot, gently pressing against Jiang Yu’s skin.
Perhaps Jiang Yu overly wished to see this as affirmation and encouragement, so he slowly unbuttoned Yu Ruoyun’s shirt, kissing all the way down.
He straddled Yu Ruoyun’s legs, leaning down to lick and kiss Yu Ruoyun’s lower abdomen. Though Yu Ruoyun appeared refined, his abdominal muscles were firm. Jiang Yu licked a few times. He could feel Yu Ruoyun was already hard—it was pressing against his collarbone.
Jiang Yu looked up at Yu Ruoyun, who gazed back at him gently, as if nothing had happened. Jiang Yu smiled at him, then lowered his head again, pulling down the edge of Yu Ruoyun’s underwear, taking the semi-hard cock into his mouth.
Jiang Yu’s only two experiences were today, not enough to claim any expertise. He only learned from earlier, being careful not to graze Yu Ruoyun with his teeth, sucking and licking with his tongue as best as he could.
Yu Ruoyun filled his mouth so much that he couldn’t close it, the tip pressing against his soft palate. He wanted to pull back, but Yu Ruoyun pressed down on him, thrusting deeper. Jiang Yu’s eyes started to tear up, looking up at Yu Ruoyun, who paused and then released him. Jiang Yu grabbed Yu Ruoyun’s wrist, spitting out the heavy penis from his mouth.
Yu Ruoyun’s member didn’t look frightening—just large. It was thoroughly wet from Jiang Yu’s sucking. Jiang Yu encircled it with his hand, still revealing a significant portion.
Jiang Yu hesitantly asked Yu Ruoyun, “Where’s the lube?”
Yu Ruoyun looked at him for a moment. “I said you don’t need to do this.”
Jiang Yu saw the lube on the bedside table and reached for it. Having rinsed his mouth once, he didn’t kiss again, just leaned in and lightly pecked Yu Ruoyun’s face, saying, “Shut up, don’t speak,” then lowered his head, using his robe for cover, silently preparing himself.
Yu Ruoyun didn’t help him. He struggled clumsily, awkwardly applying the lube and tossing the tube aside, guiding Yu Ruoyun’s cock and slowly sitting down.
Unlike fingers, the desire pushed deep inside, stretching and filling him. Jiang Yu felt both swollen and stretched, his legs trembling, his lower abdomen tightening, unable to lift up or dare to sit down further.
Yu Ruoyun kept watching him, then suddenly pressed his back gently, causing Jiang Yu to lean forward and take Yu Ruoyun entirely inside.
Jiang Yu felt both pain and a secret satisfaction. He panted, tears streaming down, kissing Yu Ruoyun’s chin and Adam’s apple.
Yu Ruoyun let him kiss for a while, then slightly moved away. When Jiang Yu looked up, Yu Ruoyun sealed his lips, prying open his teeth to intertwine their tongues.
“Jiang Yu, move,” Yu Ruoyun murmured.
Jiang Yu obediently started moving back and forth. He was still in a growth spurt—his robe had fallen off—his thin, rib-exposed body fully visible to Yu Ruoyun.
Jiang Yu’s thighs gradually grew numb, losing strength. Yu Ruoyun took over, holding his hips and thrusting upwards. His opening was filled. Yu Ruoyun guided Jiang Yu’s hand to touch their joined bodies, deliberately avoiding the erect cock in front, not touching it at all. Jiang Yu, with his wrist held, struggled to maintain balance. He was shivering uncontrollably as he was thrusted in a certain direction. His panting was accompanied by moans and whimpering. He wanted to cum but was seemingly only allowed to be fucked by Yu Ruoyun until he came.
Eventually, he did, when Yu Ruoyun’s fingers brushed the tip of his cock. His faint cries turned into sobs. He had been fucked until he softened, bones and flesh melting, making it easy for Yu Ruoyun to change positions, lifting him up and holding him. His legs spread wide, Yu Ruoyun entered again. Inside was hot, squeezing tighter after climaxing. Yu Ruoyun pounded on his sensitive spot until he finally came, streams of semen flowing out, dripping down Jiang Yu’s thighs.
Jiang Yu’s voice was hoarse, as if calling someone. Yu Ruoyun leaned in, hearing Jiang Yu barely whisper, “A’Yun.”
Yu Ruoyun didn’t respond. He sat back, kissing Jiang Yu’s reddened ankle.
“Then don’t leave,” Yu Ruoyun said.
……
Thunder rumbled outside. The rain clouds hovered over the sky for a long time finally fell.
The new film was about to start shooting, with more investment and higher standards for simultaneous web and TV broadcasting. Jiang Yu followed during the location scouting.
This wasn’t within his job scope, but when he wanted to go, he could always find reasons, like familiarizing himself with the environment to get into character early or showing dedication to his work. As for the plot, it wasn’t as exaggerated as the rumors about dual male leads or replacements. He just had a few more scenes, successfully redeeming his character, changing from an antagonist to secretly aiding the protagonist, ultimately getting captured, but reducing his sentence for meritorious service.
Yu Ruoyun invested effort in this drama, playing the main male lead himself. Jiang Yu wouldn’t steal this role; it was meaningless and too burdensome.
The director said, “It’s here.”
Jiang Yu followed his direction, looking at a wild grass area, listening to the director explaining that his character hid here to escape capture, surviving by luck. He listened while moving closer, wanting a better look, but the director warned, “Be careful! It’s a slope. It just rained, so the ground is soft.”
Jiang Yu pressed his leg down, feeling the soil was indeed very soft. If he wasn’t careful, he would surely fall. There were also several large stones on the slope.
The director cautiously approached, seeing Jiang Yu still looking down, remembered something and still felt lingering fear. “When Yu Ruoyun had his accident, it scared us to death. Luckily, nothing serious happened, and he didn’t blame the crew.”
“That’s just like him,” Jiang Yu said after a moment of silence. “If it were me, I’d definitely extort a big sum from you.”
Jiang Yu could quickly warm up to people when he wanted to, now joking with the director.
“I didn’t see it myself. I had just arrived when I heard about the accident in the crew. No one paid me any mind, and I waited a long time before knowing it was Teacher Yu who had the accident.”
He should have asked Yu Ruoyun for compensation, for emotional distress, waiting in the hospital, lying to the nurse to stay by the bed. Jiang Yu was very angry then. The longer he waited, the angrier he got, feeling Yu Ruoyun didn’t take care of himself, taking a web drama, getting hurt, lying in bed with eyes closed, not even looking at him.
“Maybe it wasn’t entirely your fault.” Jiang Yu suddenly interrupted the director’s self-blame. “Actors who shoot many scenes will inevitably get hurt. With some experience, they should avoid danger themselves.”
This wasn’t well-received, so the director didn’t respond. Jiang Yu stopped talking, still looking down, thinking it must have been Yu Ruoyun’s carelessness.
That was the best assumption he could make.
Jiang Yu wanted to call Yu Ruoyun, asking him, as an actor with almost twenty years of experience who had fallen from heights, got scars from explosion scenes, and even undergone surgery due to action scenes, if he should be considered unprofessional when the crew neglected safety measures and he didn’t pay attention himself. He even wanted to ask Yu Ruoyun if it was truly an accident.
These thoughts surfaced one after another, thorns piercing his brain, giving him a splitting headache. Even now, they couldn’t fill the year-long gap between them. What was pain? It could spill down like a flood, suffocating and drowning; it could also act like a poison slow to take effect and unable to recover from.
The phone rang once or twice before being quickly answered. With people nearby, Jiang Yu walked away a bit.
“It’s dawn over there,” Jiang Yu said. “Did I wake you?”
Yu Ruoyun was abroad, in a different time zone. Jiang Yu knew this but wanted to abuse his privilege.
“Whenever you want to find me,” Yu Ruoyun said, “you can come.”
Jiang Yu couldn’t help but laugh. “Teacher Yu, you sound like a foolish tyrant.”
It was cold in this desolate place. Jiang Yu looked at the bare trees and the dark clouds overhead. This world seemed to be in cold tones.
“I just really miss you,” Jiang Yu said softly. “It’s not something you can measure with a beaker or a graduated cylinder, but I love you very much.”
Film companies had financial reports, TV stations had ratings, websites had view counts, even brands cutting corners had conversion rates. But love had no value, no unit of measure, so he could only say: A lot, deeply, I love you very much.
Yu Ruoyun seemed to hear the unspoken words in his tone and asked, “What else?”
There were many things he wanted to say, but it seemed unnecessary now. This time, they had plenty of time. The wounds would always be there, and he could only cover them with kisses again and again, as compensation for his untold departure.
“Be with me, and live a little better,” Jiang Yu said.
It seemed like a long pause, yet also as if the reply came almost immediately. Jiang Yu heard Yu Ruoyun say, “Okay.”
“This is all what you said yourself,” Yu Ruoyun added. “There’s no chance to take it back.”
Indeed, it was all Jiang Yu who had said these things—said he loved Yu Ruoyun, said he wanted to be with him, made so many promises. And promises are meant to be fulfilled. Jiang Yu hoped that this time, it could last longer. He would graduate from college, continue acting, and who knows—maybe one day, with a stroke of luck, he might even win Best Actor. And Yu Ruoyun would face no more unexpected incidents, no matter the cause.
“My mom is about to celebrate her 60th birthday,” Yu Ruoyun said. “It’s a milestone, so she might invite some close friends for a meal. Do you have time to come back with me? She reminded me before to bring my other half.”
He said it so casually, as though asking what to eat for dinner, yet it still left Jiang Yu stunned, unable to respond.
When people reach a certain age, they begin to realize their individuality—they are not their parents’ creation but belong to themselves. The first time Jiang Yu ran away from home, he thought this exact thing: he was not a tool for Jiang Fangping to fulfill her unachieved dreams; he wanted his own life. But now, at this moment, Jiang Yu thought that some people are not solely their own. The meaning of “the other half” is likely as literal as it sounds—a half of oneself that, if lost, would make life impossible.
“I have time,” Jiang Yu said. He had plenty of time.
Jiang Yu still kept his head raised. He saw the light surrounding the clouds, the eternal sun behind them.
<<< || Table of Contents || >>>
Kinky Translations 