Author: 年终 / Nian Zhong

Translator: Kinky || https://kinkytranslations.com/

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Chapter 54: It’s Cloudy Today

When Bai Shuangying interacted with humans, many of them came to him seeking healing from pain or illness.

He knew that sometimes, when faced with pain, even death could be considered a release.

He also knew that Fang Xiu was the most pain-tolerant human he had ever seen. But the pain before had at least stayed within natural limits. This time, the E was different. It was pushing human sensory limits to the extreme.

If Bai Shuangying weren’t by his side, Fang Xiu wouldn’t have been able to sleep these past two days.

If this pain were placed on someone else, they’d probably collapse in tears and gamble away 1,000 chips in a frenzy just to make it stop. A weaker person wouldn’t even be able to move.

To be honest, Bai Shuangying was surprised that Fang Xiu could still think clearly.

Although Fang Xiu still seemed composed, Bai Shuangying didn’t want to gamble further.

If Fang Xiu broke another taboo or two, becoming a cripple screaming in agony, it would be the end of everything.

…And this was far from the end.

In front of him, Cheng Songyun bit her lip.

“He should’ve sacrificed me instead,” Cheng Songyun said quietly.

Bai Shuangying looked at her in silence.

“I refused to gamble, so Fang Xiu had no obligation to find human flesh for me. There’s fewer evil spirits here. He could’ve just told me to kill Shang Debao, then taken Guan He to explore.”

Cheng Songyun’s voice carried pain. “All I’ve been thinking about is the past. I’ve been less useful than even Xiao Guan…”

Bai Shuangying said, “In my eyes, you and Guan He are equally useless.”

Cheng Songyun: “…”

“I only know one thing: Fang Xiu isn’t some bleeding-heart. Instead of wallowing in these thoughts, you’d be better off making yourself useful.”

Bai Shuangying was irritated by human whining. Fang Xiu never once complained to him.

Cheng Songyun gave a bitter smile. “Fair enough.”

Bai Shuangying instructed her to sleep on the sofa and not to open her eyes no matter what she saw or heard, until everything was over.

“What do you mean, ‘until everything is over’?” Cheng Songyun asked.

“You’ll know when the time comes.”

Bai Shuangying’s voice was cold as always.

Cheng Songyun sighed and closed her eyes.

At the same time, Bai Shuangying lowered his gaze. The thread of karma trembled violently in his palm, surrounded by countless distortions. It seemed to want to escape his grip, but he held it firmly.

The flow of countless karmic lines rushed before his eyes…into Cheng Songyun’s dream.

……

Cheng Songyun’s life was both ordinary and extraordinary.

She was born in a backwater village and grew up with her childhood sweetheart, Sun Jinfeng. Their families were close and knew each other inside out.

The two of them were inseparable from a young age. They were classmates in elementary and middle school and attended the same high school. But while Sun Jinfeng got into a top university, Cheng Songyun didn’t perform well on the entrance exam and ended up at an average college.

Even so, in the summer of senior year, Sun Jinfeng formally confessed his feelings to her.

Back then, the young man seemed so sincere and full of passion.

Cheng Songyun’s friends didn’t think the relationship would last. They said Sun Jinfeng had a bright future and would soon be surrounded by other outstanding women, and he’d eventually move on.

“Yun Yun, first loves rarely last. Don’t get too attached.” They worried she’d be too heartbroken if it ended and often gave her gentle warnings.

Cheng Songyun never listened.

“I believe in him,” she declared.

…And indeed, Sun Jinfeng didn’t stray.

Throughout college, they stayed in constant contact.

They spent holidays together, exchanged small, cute gifts, and developed a new tradition.

Every New Year, Cheng Songyun would buy two diaries. She wrote in one and gave the other to Sun Jinfeng. They’d fill them up through the year and then swap diaries and start again.

Sun Jinfeng had beautiful handwriting and was meticulous. He saved all his ticket stubs from visiting her, took daily pictures of his window view, printed them out, and stuck them in the journal.

Outside his dorm window was a lush tree and a broad sky. As the seasons passed, the sky changed delicately and beautifully.

He said this way, they could share the same space.

Whenever it was anything but a sunny day, he’d cheerfully write, “It’s cloudy today.”

Even when they fought, they never skipped a diary entry.

After swapping them at New Year, they’d both flip to the same date to see what complaints the other had written about them.

And so, Cheng Songyun’s desk gradually filled with diaries. She sealed them in plastic bags, added moisture-absorbing packets, and imagined the two of them reading them together when they were old while laughing at each other loudly.

They’d be so happy then.

……

By the time they’d exchanged four diaries, they graduated from college.

Sun Jinfeng got a job at a major company in Gui Province while Cheng Songyun took a job in HR at a small firm. They kept up their diary exchange. No matter how busy he was with overtime, he never missed a day.

He used the diary to vent about his boss or share little work stories, like someone’s office turtle dying, or a succulent on the windowsill blooming.

I was late today. My stomach’s acting up today. I missed you a lot today.

It’s cloudy today.

Instead of ticket stubs, he began inserting meal receipts or silly photos from late-night work.

He still took daily sky photos, but the view now was from an office window rather than a dormitory.

The city skyline outside his office was breathtaking.

Eventually, Sun Jinfeng filled up two more diaries and found stability at his company.

Under the New Year fireworks, Cheng Songyun opened the latest diary from him. On the last page, hidden behind a photo of brilliant clouds, was a diamond ring.

She turned around in surprise and saw Sun Jinfeng was holding a giant bouquet.

He proposed.

Cheng Songyun accepted with joy, and he hugged her tightly.

Maybe because they’d known each other so long, married life was even calmer than she imagined, but still happy.

Sun Jinfeng didn’t smoke or drink. He was ambitious, respectful toward female colleagues, and never hung around massage parlors like some of his coworkers. He always let her know when he had to work late or go on business trips.

They never forgot anniversaries and always surprised each other. They weren’t rich, but life was comfortable and smooth.

Just like a “normal family”.

Even after moving in together, they continued writing diaries.

Any little friction they didn’t know how to talk about, or apologies they couldn’t say aloud, they wrote in the diaries.

Whenever the sky wasn’t clear, Sun Jinfeng still wrote with excitement: “It’s cloudy today.”

Cheng Songyun bought a storage cabinet and neatly stored all their diaries with their important documents.

It felt magical, as if her entire life had been packed neatly into that small cabinet.

……

By their fourth wedding anniversary, the cabinet held twenty diaries; ten from each of them. Their daughter had just turned one. Then came a massive upheaval.

The economy was in a slump with layoffs were everywhere. Sun Jinfeng’s entire department was axed. Cheng Songyun also lost her job.

With a baby to raise and a mortgage to pay, their severance packages wouldn’t last long.

After much thought, Cheng Songyun said bravely, “Let’s sell the house.”

Sun Jinfeng’s eyes turned red.

“This house is too big. It feels empty. The market’s still good. We can sell it for a lot,” she said calmly.

“We’ll buy a smaller secondhand place. Even if it’s old, it’s fine, as long as it’s near a good school.”

Looking at the home they’d so carefully decorated, Sun Jinfeng’s voice was choked. “It’s my fault… You and our daughter shouldn’t have to suffer…”

Cheng Songyun shook her head with a smile. “This isn’t suffering. As long as we’re together, it’s enough.”

She pulled him to the computer, pointing out a modest home. “The price is fair, and it’s well laid-out. It’ll hold its value…”

Sun Jinfeng hugged his wife and looked at the sample picture on his phone.

The house wasn’t big, with only two bedrooms and a living room. The decoration looked old and there wasn’t an elevator. However, there was a big window in the living room that captured the scenery outside that looked as if it came from a painting.

The price really was appropriate. If they traded in their current house, they’d have an extra million in cash.

“This time, we don’t need to settle for a fully furnished house. We’ll design and renovate it ourselves,” Cheng Songyun said with a smile.

And she followed through. They decorated their small home into something cozy and warm. Just looking at it filled them with hope.

On the day they officially moved in, Sun Jinfeng carried their daughter in his arms and took one step after another toward their new home. He kissed his daughter on the cheek with a faint smile on his face.

“Wife, thank you.” As he stepped through the doorway, Sun Jinfeng turned around and said this to Cheng Songyun with sincerity.

Afterward, Sun Jinfeng tapped into his old connections and began the difficult journey of starting his own business. He was so busy his feet barely touched the ground.

With no one else to care for their daughter, Cheng Songyun took on all household responsibilities, raised the child, and worked a temp job. Every day she was busy from the moment she opened her eyes until she closed them.

Things didn’t go well for Sun Jinfeng. His company devoured money like a bottomless pit. His diary entries were filled with self-doubt, pain, and anxiety.

But he still remembered to take a photo of the sky through the office window every day.

Cheng Songyun’s relatives couldn’t stand it anymore and quietly urged her to divorce. Everyone said that nine out of ten startups fail, and it was clear Sun Jinfeng was heading toward ruin. Cheng Songyun was working herself to the bone, practically a widow, and might end up saddled with debt.

Cheng Songyun firmly refused.

“I believe in him,” she said.

…In the fourth year of his startup, Sun Jinfeng succeeded.

The day he turned a profit, he rubbed her rough hands and cried so hard he almost passed out.

Sun Jinfeng became a multimillionaire overnight.

He was known for doting on his wife and daughter and never strayed. He bought a beautiful large apartment, and the family moved into a high-end community. But they still kept their old, worn-down little home.

The storage cabinet now held thirty diaries. It was getting crowded. Cheng Songyun cleared out a separate small room to store them as a study.

That year, she was 33 years old.

The following years were smooth and happy.

When she turned 40, Sun Jinfeng declared he was financially free and retired. The couple traveled occasionally and spent the rest of their time caring for their daughter.

Their diaries kept increasing, now covered with photos of their travels.

Sun Jinfeng even bought an expensive camera and insisted on photographing the weather, which their daughter teased as being overly sentimental.

It’s cloudy today.

He wrote that line over and over, from their youth at 18 or 19, all the way into their 40s, when his hair had begun to turn gray.

……

When did things start to go wrong? Cheng Songyun still didn’t know.

She only remembered that in the New Year of her 43rd year, they didn’t exchange diaries.

Then she discovered their savings account was empty. Sun Jinfeng laughed it off, saying he had lent the money to a friend and told her not to worry.

Then her jewelry disappeared. Cheng Songyun wanted to call the police, but Sun Jinfeng said it was just a stroke of bad luck and warned her that involving outsiders might bring retaliation. So the matter was dropped.

Eventually, debt collectors came knocking.

She suddenly realized the house was no longer theirs, the home wasn’t their home anymore.

Sun Jinfeng wept bitterly, slapping himself and frantically apologizing.

He said he had gambled and fallen into someone’s trap.

It started with a refusal to accept failure. He just wanted to win back a little money. But he got hooked. The savings were gone. The house was gone.

But he swore to heaven he didn’t owe anyone money.

“Yun Yun, let’s start over, okay?”

Sun Jinfeng clung to her sleeve. “I promise. I won’t gamble anymore. I really won’t. If I do, may I die a horrible death.”

Cheng Songyun was dizzy for half a day. She couldn’t understand. How could such a large sum of money just disappear, without a trace?

Maybe it was because they’d had it too good for too long, she thought. They’d been through hardship before. They’d supported each other for half their lives. How could she just leave him now?

If Sun Jinfeng could change, everything would be okay again.

So they moved back into that shabby old house.

Sun Jinfeng started job hunting. Cheng Songyun returned to working temp jobs.

But their daughter, home for summer vacation, reacted strongly. She firmly advised her mother to divorce.

“He already gambled away the house. He’ll never change! Mom, you have to divorce him. It’s not too late!” her daughter pleaded.

Cheng Songyun was silent for a long time.

“I believe in him,” she sighed. “Sweetheart, you’re still young. Not everything is so black and white.”

“When he had money, our family was just fine. If I leave him now that he’s down, that’s not how a person should be.”

Her daughter stomped her foot in frustration.

“He didn’t care about you at all when he lost everything!”

Cheng Songyun: “Your dad isn’t bad at heart. He’ll change. I’ll make sure he does.”

She kept writing in her diary, recording every day’s pain and hope. Maybe this diary would have a chance to be given to him. No, it definitely would.

Today, I got a message from a debt collector. He took out a loan under my name.

Today, I found out he’s still gambling. He secretly hid a phone.

Today, he hit me for the first time.

The moment he hit her, Cheng Songyun was completely stunned. When Sun Jinfeng realized what he had done, he dropped to his knees and started sobbing again.

“It’s my fault. I actually owed 800,000 before…” Sun Jinfeng choked through red, teary eyes. “I just didn’t want you two to suffer. At my age, I can’t do much anymore. How can I repay 800,000…”

“Yun Yun, I just wanted to keep this house. I didn’t want to sell it. It’s our home…”

She still believed him.

The second time he hit her was because she noticed the family’s camera was missing and questioned him. He became furious and slapped her on the spot.

Afterwards, he once again apologized with tears in his eyes.

“I couldn’t control myself. I won 200,000 in one go… I should’ve stopped while I was ahead…”

“I know you’re disappointed. Really, just this once. I’ll never gamble again!”

She still believed him.

Then came the third time. The fourth…

Cheng Songyun kept writing in her diary. She realized she was going numb. The first time she saw tears in his eyes, her heart had twisted with pain. Now, when she saw his face full of tears, she felt nothing.

She pulled out their college diaries and gently traced the words “It’s cloudy today” with her fingers.

The most recent time he hit her, he almost broke her leg. She looked at the bloated, roaring man before her and suddenly couldn’t recall what he used to look like.

Had she said something wrong? Or failed to find the right way?

…She still wanted to believe him, but she was reaching her limit.

When Sun Jinfeng learned she wanted a divorce, he flew into a rage.

“You ever earned a cent in your life? Haven’t you lived off me this whole time? Now that I’m broke you want to run? Why didn’t I realize before what a whore you are?”

After cursing, he started begging again.

“I’m sorry, Yun Yun… I’m scum, worse than a dog… You’re all I’ve got. Even if I have to deliver food, I’ll pay back the debt. Just trust me this one time, please?”

Then he pulled a knife from the kitchen and, in front of her, cut off his left pinky finger.

Cheng Songyun was shocked by the bloody scene. She rushed him to the hospital and didn’t dare mention divorce again.

Just a bit longer, she thought. This time, he’ll really change.

……

Their daughter graduated from college, found a job, and got married.

She refused to have anything to do with her gambling father and would only meet Cheng Songyun outside the home.

Every time she saw her mother’s bruises, she would try to convince her to leave. And then break down crying.

Outside, the daughter cried. Inside, the husband cried.

Cheng Songyun didn’t know where her life had gone wrong.

She was shocked to find she had adapted to this horrific life.

Now she worked temp jobs, did housework, helped pay off debts, and was occasionally beaten, over and over, day by day.

Sun Jinfeng was still gambling. He wouldn’t even consider working a job that paid a few thousand a month. Whenever she brought up money, he hit her.

He had taken to drinking and would hit her when drunk, too. He knew where to hit without leaving visible bruises. He knew how to avoid punishment. His apologies became more and more perfunctory.

Whenever she brought up divorce, he threatened suicide and threw tantrums.

She had heard that filing for divorce was troublesome and it could take a year or two to resolve.

Sometimes she thought about taking the risk. Other times, she thought, I’m already 49… How many years do I even have left?

Maybe this is just how my life ends, Cheng Songyun thought.

The diary cabinet gathered dust. She hadn’t opened it in a long time.

Things changed at New Year. Her daughter came to her, terrified. Sun Jinfeng had gone to her home asking for money.

To avoid trouble, her daughter had always sent her support payments directly to Cheng Songyun.

But Sun Jinfeng insisted she wasn’t supporting them and even threatened to cause a scene at her workplace.

Her daughter and son-in-law were forced to give him 10,000 yuan just to get rid of him. But in less than three days, he showed up again.

Her daughter, fed up, decided to move. But then…

“Mom, he found Cong Cong’s kindergarten.” Across the table, her daughter was nearly falling apart. “He claimed to be the grandfather and took the child… He had videos with Cong Cong, our contact info… I missed a call, and he took the kid…”

“He’s asking for money again. What do I do, Mom…”

Cong Cong was Cheng Songyun’s grandson, who just turned three this year.

This time, Cheng Songyun stayed quiet for a long while.

She and Sun Jinfeng had been together since they could remember. She knew all his habits.

Like how he always held onto the handrail when going upstairs.

Like how, if alcohol wasn’t put away, he’d drink every drop.

Like how, when he hit her, he always took a slanted step forward.

Five peaceful days passed.

One night, a drunk Sun Jinfeng climbed the stairs with the help of the railing, and saw his wife waiting at the top.

“What now?” he asked impatiently.

Cheng Songyun: “If you need money, just tell me. Don’t ask our daughter.”

“Why the hell not? She’s a damn ingrate!” Sun Jinfeng roared. “I spent hundreds of thousands on her, and now she complains when I ask for a few thousand?”

Cheng Songyun: “But you didn’t raise Cong Cong.”

“Grandpa, hic, Grandpa playing with his grandson, is that illegal? Cong Cong likes me. I’ll go see him again tomorrow…”

Cheng Songyun closed her eyes.

“I’ll say this one last time: If you need money, tell me. Don’t drag the children into this.”

“…Do you remember what you said the first time you climbed these stairs?”

Sun Jinfeng scoffed. “Who remembers that crap?”

He grabbed the railing, stepped diagonally forward to reach for her, but his foot slipped on something slick, like entrails.

His drunk mind didn’t have time to react. He lost his balance and fell.

His hand was less than a fist’s distance from her. In that moment, he looked at her with wide, almost confused eyes.

Cheng Songyun had only meant to teach him a lesson, maybe break his leg. Then she could fully control him. He wouldn’t be able to hit her, harass their daughter’s family, or sneak off to gamble.

Crude as it was, it seemed worth it. She should have done it sooner.

Maybe… maybe she could peel back the layers and find the man she once loved.

That husband had existed for over forty years. The monster before her had only existed for less than ten. He had to still be there, sleeping somewhere, not gone forever.

And so she watched him fall. He hit the steps with a dull thud. He lay limp at the foot of the stairs. Under the flickering motion sensor light, blood spread steadily.

His eyes were still wide, staring blankly at her.

Cheng Songyun gripped the railing and looked down at the familiar yet foreign corpse.

She remembered the first time they’d walked up these stairs. Sun Jinfeng had held their daughter tightly and smiled with pride.

“Our little girl’s been through enough. I’ll buy her a big house someday. I swear I’ll never let her suffer again.”

He had kissed her cheek gently, afraid his stubble would hurt her.

Just now, he said: Who remembers that crap?

She stared into those bewildered, shocked eyes.

She remembered the first day they sent their daughter to preschool. Sun Jinfeng had been even more reluctant than she was.

“Kids grow up so fast,” he had said in a daze. “It’s too fast… What if she’s scared inside? Can’t we wait a little longer before sending her?”

A few days ago, he had taken their grandson from preschool, just to squeeze out some money. And said he would do it again.

At last, Cheng Songyun looked at the blood. Under the light, it was blindingly red. Just like the bouquet Sun Jinfeng had used to propose.

“I’ll treat you well for the rest of my life!”

She had never seen him so serious.

Now he was dead.

That moment she realized this, her first thought wasn’t fear, but surprise.

She would never get her husband back. That “It’s cloudy today” written in the year she turned 42. That was his final note to her.

…But how could that be the end?

She couldn’t stop thinking of the diaries. Of sky after sky.

Cheng Songyun slowly squatted down expressionlessly, her body like a puppet.

…Had she done something wrong? Not done enough? Failed to save him?

…Could there have been a different ending?

In a daze, a red thread slithered from the corpse, like a snake, and came to her. She instinctively grabbed it.

A flood of obsessions poured into her mind. Somehow, she knew they belonged to the dead man at the foot of the stairs.

[I must make a comeback. Or what was the point of my life?]

[I want to win I want to win I want to win I want to win I want to win I want to win I want to win I want to win I want to win I want to win I want to win I want to win I want to win I want to win I want to win I want to win I want to win I want to win I want to win I want to win I want to win I want to win I want to win I want to win I want to win…]

She searched for more, but found nothing.

No regret. No anger. No fear.

No home. No her. No daughter.

Not even the weather today.

It turned out, a person could be alive, yet already dead.

It turned out, their ending had been decided long ago.

Cheng Songyun clutched the red thread. Silent tears streamed down her face. Then she began to sob uncontrollably.

In endless pain, everything turned to pure white.

Cheng Songyun opened her eyes, her face soaked in tears.

“Very good. You’ve understood.”

In Bai Shuangying’s palm, the red thread was now solid, almost tangible.

Cheng Songyun sniffled and moved her lips. “You were watching the whole time? You…”

“No need to worry. I won’t judge.” Bai Shuangying’s face was still expressionless. “…It’s just a common tale from the human world.”

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The author has something to say:

This arc is Auntie’s story _(:з」∠)

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