Author: 年终 / Nian Zhong

Translator: Kinky || https://kinkytranslations.com/

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Chapter 27: Reward Time

The first thing Fang Xiu did upon waking up was check his entire body.

His dislocated shoulder was completely healed, and all the cuts and scratches had vanished. Evidently, the Underworld had reclaimed the “disposable body” it had granted them. Now he was just a happy living soul again.

The second thing Fang Xiu did upon waking was hop around the room.

Unfortunately, his constitution and strength were the same as ever. Destroying the Weishan E hadn’t brought him any sort of power-up. It seemed the reward wasn’t going to be a direct boost to his attributes.

Still, being alive and back here was plenty to celebrate. The room was tidy, and the bed was soft and comfy, leaving him with a sense of finally returning to civilization. He hurled himself onto the bed, buried his face in the pillow, then sprang back up into a spread-eagle position.

Then he noticed the seductive ghost clinging to the ceiling.

Bai Shuangying, who was watching Fang Xiu bound all over the place: “……”

Fang Xiu, suddenly aware Bai Shuangying had been watching the entire time: “……”

Fang Xiu thought it over, then scooted to free half the bed. “Do you want to lie down, too?”

Bai Shuangying flipped over on the ceiling to face the wall, feeling distinctly like “out of sight, out of mind”.

The third thing Fang Xiu did after waking was take stock of his spoils.

Since dozing back off wasn’t happening, he decided to get up and sort out his bloody harvest.

He had snatched five jade Buddhas from Fourth Master. These jade Buddhas, once smeared with blood from his middle finger, could serve as a substitute for his life.

As good as they were, there were obvious limitations: smearing the blood took time, making them useless in sudden emergencies.

From Shan Huanzi’s corpse, he had salvaged a stack of yellow talisman paper, a small carved wooden token engraved with the characters “Rain Demon*”, and a bizarre little cauldron the size of an eyeball.

*Clarity: This may not be entirely accurate translation. The engrave characters are (雨聻). (雨) means rain while (聻) is an obscure character often found in classical literature referring to a higher-level ghost (a ghost that have died and become 聻, kind of like a ghost of a ghost). It’s supposed to be a higher-level ghost that’s more terrifying than a ghost and thus the character is used as a ward against evil spirits. In Strange Tales from a Chinese Studio, it is said that ghosts are afraid of 聻.

…He didn’t recognize any of them and could only sigh.

“Let me have a look.” At some point, Bai Shuangying had silently appeared behind him.

Since it was rare for Bai Shuangying to offer help, Fang Xiu scooted aside in a flash.

Bai Shuangying tapped the yellow paper with a fingertip, a slight look of distaste crossing his face. “It’s Taoist talisman paper. You can’t use it if you don’t understand Taoist techniques.”

Fang Xiu’s heart sank as he pushed the paper aside.

Next, Bai Shuangying pointed at the token. “This is also a Daoist magic weapon. It’s engraved with a Ziwei* incantation that wards off evil.”

*One of the highest gods of heaven and one of the Four Sovereigns.

Noticing how Fang Xiu’s eyes lit up, Bai Shuangying added, “But the quality is terrible. All it really does is make a ghost feel uncomfortable.”

Fang Xiu’s heart sank again, though he still kept the little token.

When Bai Shuangying saw the small cauldron, his expression flickered slightly. “Not bad.”

Fang Xiu quickly picked it up for closer examination.

It was entirely blood-red, faintly warm to the touch. Though only the size of an eyeball, its mouth was pitch-black and seemingly bottomless.

“That’s an Earth Knocking Cauldron, an Underworld item,” Bai Shuangying explained. “If you let a magic item soak up your blood for at least one hour, you can feed it to this cauldron.”

“Once inside, the item is destroyed, and its power remains in the cauldron for one day, which you can use to summon headless evil spirits.”

Fang Xiu mulled it over. “Does that mean the headless evil spirits literally have no brains?”

Bai Shuangying: “…Yes. They’re only really good at acting as meat shields.”

Fang Xiu patted the little cauldron. “I see. You sure know a lot.”

Normally, it would be perfect for disposing of useless magic items, a bit of recycling. But Fang Xiu was intrigued by its other functionality.

He clasped the Earth Knocking Cauldron in his palm, leaving his fingers just loose enough that you couldn’t see he was holding anything.

So that was how Shan Hunzi “barehandedly” destroyed Fourth Master’s Spirit-binding Chains. He had simply fed it to this cauldron.

Against evil spirits, the cauldron was nothing special. But against humans, it could be a truly formidable weapon. Fang Xiu even found it more useful than the jade Buddhas. Yet…

“Earth Knocking Cauldron is too much of a mouthful, so I’m going to call it my ‘Meal Card’,” Fang Xiu told Bai Shuangying. “If I’ve got leftover power after recharging it, I’ll swipe it so I can buy you a meal.”

Headless evil spirits had no heads, so wasn’t this like headless shrimp? Bai Shuangying was far too attractive a ghost to be stuck holding a severed head and gnawing on it. What a sight that would be. This “Meal Card” fit perfectly as a snack dispenser instead.

On the spot, Fang Xiu stuffed the Earth Knocking Cauldron—no, the “Meal Card”—into his pants pocket. He was reluctant to set it down.

……

“Up, up, up. Time for breakfast! Eat for good health…”

“No fierce ghosts at the table~ Don’t be late~”

The paper figure knocked on the door, hollering away like some kind of morning wake-up service.

Fang Xiu didn’t open the door immediately. “Why are no fierce ghosts allowed?”

Paper figure: “Their appearances are horrifying. It might affect everyone’s appetite.”

Fang Xiu: “My ghost is breathtaking. He’ll only make people hungrier.”

“…Fine, bring him.” The paper figure fell silent for a few seconds.

It really didn’t have a comeback. A ghost that beautiful was terrifying in its own right.

Fang Xiu grabbed Bai Shuangying, and the two of them headed out into the courtyard together.

Counting Fang Xiu, there were still six people here. The only difference from last time was that the auntie who didn’t summon a ghost never returned.

Seating remained as before: Jia Xu, Blondie, and Mei Lan at one table, Fang Xiu seated with Cheng Songyun. This time, Guan He didn’t hide in the corner by himself but quietly took the seat to Cheng Songyun’s left.

Seeing Fang Xiu, everyone but Cheng Songyun greeted him warmly.

Jia Xu jumped to his feet first. “Welcome to our hero. The paper figure says you personally destroyed the E! Awesome, Fang Xiu. How’d you stand up to Fourth Master?”

“That fool looked like he could crush you with one punch. You’re seriously badass.” Blondie gave him a grin.

Their understanding of Fourth Master remained at his peak state.

Cheng Songyun pressed her lips together, looking a bit pale. She tried her best to keep calm when she looked at Fang Xiu, but he could see an undercurrent of fear in her eyes.

Well, seeing someone as large as Fourth Master turned to minced meat up close would traumatize anyone.

“Fourth Master accidentally triggered a taboo, so I got an opening,” Fang Xiu said with a smile toward the other table.

Then he pulled three jade Buddhas out of his pocket. He passed two to Cheng Songyun and one to Guan He, then sat down with Bai Shuangying without making any further distributions.

Jia Xu’s broad grin grew stiff. “And that…?”

“All our ghosts can handle a bit of defense, but Guan He’s ghost is really weak, so it’s best if he takes one.”

“Cheng Jie’s shield can protect one extra person, so a single jade Buddha in her hands counts as two. Giving her two jade Buddhas equals four for the whole team. Then adding the one for Xiao Guan, that’s five total. So exactly one for each of you.”

With a sincerely earnest tone and expression, Fang Xiu continued, “As the one who actually got hold of them, I’m just keeping one more Buddha than anyone else. That’s fair, right?”

Jia Xu tried to keep smiling. “…Yeah, they were yours in the first place. I was just making conversation.”

Blondie did some finger-counting, got confused, and returned to quietly wolfing down his food. Mei Lan lowered her head and stayed silent.

Guan He murmured his thanks. Cheng Songyun hesitated but accepted.

She looked like she wanted to say something to Fang Xiu, but the paper figure suddenly spoke, cutting her off.

“Congratulations to all of you, truly! The first ritual is over, and you’re free to rest!”

It still wore that jovial grin.

The moment “rest” came up, Blondie hastily swallowed a mouthful of rice. “How long do we get to rest?”

Paper figure: “From this morning until tomorrow morning, you get a full day and night. Last night was a little extra kindness on our part.”

Blondie nearly choked. “Fuck, at least give us seven days. One day off is basically a single weekend!”

The paper figure’s expression remained calm. “The first ritual only took three days altogether.”

“…Anyway, I know you all must have a lot of questions. Let’s go through a few major points.”

Before Blondie could press the issue, it swiftly changed the topic.

“All of you enter the Tower in soul form. The body you use for the ritual is just a magic tool. As long as you have even a scrap of life left at the end, we’ll get you back to the tower in one piece, so you don’t need to worry about unhealable injuries.”

“When you first arrived, evil spirits temporarily ‘checked out’ your bodies. They’ll call your workplace to ask for leave on your behalf, then find a safe spot for you to ‘stay alone’.”

“If you survive and return, everything proceeds as normal. If you die in the ritual, your real body dies right along with you. Simple.”

Jia Xu’s eyebrow twitched. “Everything normal? But with eight rituals, that’s over a month. What about my job?”

The paper figure grinned. “If you live to come back, you can just wish for piles of gold.”

Jia Xu clicked his tongue softly, still not quite satisfied. He was quiet for a moment, then prodded further. “That guy who got eaten by a ghost before. There was blood everywhere. But aren’t we all just living souls inside the Tower? Why were we bleeding?”

“The Disaster Relief Tower gave you a provisional physical form, so that blood and flesh are part of your living soul’s vitality. If you lose too much vitality, your soul will disperse. But no worries, minor damage recovers quickly.”

Fang Xiu let out a soft hiss. He remembered how Bai Shuangying had pulled out all those soul fragments. He definitely preferred having a humanoid shape to being reduced to some ball.

The Tower was considerate, at least in that respect.

Seeing that no one else had questions, the paper figure floated lightly onto the incense burner in the courtyard’s center. Fang Xiu fixed it with a burning gaze, like a prizewinner waiting for the host to finish talking.

“The E at Weishan Village is gone. Whoever dispels an E gets an extra reward…”

The paper figure’s voice rang loud and clear. “The E was destroyed by Fang Xiu, so he will receive a huge reward­!”

Hearing about huge reward, Jia Xu’s eyebrow twitched again, while Blondie emitted an envious “Ooooh!”

Evidently pleased with that response, the paper figure spoke more loudly. “If you personally vanquish an E, you become entangled in its karma. Mr. Fang, please pick one anomaly from Weishan Village, and we will turn it into an ability for you.”

Fang Xiu lifted an eyebrow. “Anything at all?”

He had more faith that Bai Shuangying was a fox demon than in the Underworld’s generosity.

“Of course there are limits. Since you only brushed against the E’s karma, you didn’t ‘own’ it,” the paper figure explained. “The heavier the anomaly’s required yin energy, the weaker its final effect. If you’re unsure, just ask.”

It proceeded to list three of the village’s taboos as examples:

If Fang Xiu chose the taboo “food and water must not be consumed,” he could make food and water taste foul, but still edible.

If he chose “do not harm the villagers,” then anyone who harmed him would be afflicted with total-body itching for ten seconds (humans only).

The death-related taboo demanded too much yin energy, so it wasn’t an option.

“Obviously pick the second one!” Blondie smacked the table and yelled at Fang Xiu. “Second one, second one! It’s useful!”

Bai Shuangying, on the other hand, remained as still as a statue. He had a feeling Fang Xiu’s mind wouldn’t work so straightforwardly.

Sure enough, Fang Xiu didn’t answer right away. “So, I can pick from any phenomenon in the village?”

Paper figure: “Yes. You could even choose the ‘ghostly wall’ effect of the temple fair, although the actual results might.”

“If it’s something that doesn’t require much yin energy, can it be replicated at 100% power?” Fang Xiu cut in.

Confidence flickered in the paper figure’s eyes. “Don’t underestimate the Underworld’s capabilities.”

“Oh,” Fang Xiu said. “Then I want the offering table at the Weishan Shrine.”

Paper figure: “?”

Blondie, in mid-shout, abruptly started squawking like a chicken with its throat caught.

“That table automatically replenishes offerings, so by all accounts it counts as an anomaly.”

Fang Xiu aimed an innocent look at the paper figure. “I’m guessing the evil spirits in the village kept refilling it, so it was purely manual labor, which probably didn’t involve much yin energy at all.

“And if it’s only about keeping food fresh, that doesn’t require much yin energy, does it? If you lot can supply ordinary goods from the living world, you won’t even need the yin energy to ‘keep-it-fresh’.”

“It is technically possible, but…”

But…there didn’t seem to be any real issue with it.

Yes, Fang Xiu had indeed chosen an anomaly. Yes, that anomaly required little yin energy. Yes, the Underworld could replicate it.

…But the end result sounded suspiciously like a takeout delivery service.

The paper figure could only stare, unable to force a smile.

Heaven help it… This was not the outcome it had scripted. It had prepared a plan for the second taboo, but among all six people, of course the weirdest one had been the one to destroy the E… Now it’d have to rewrite the plan and contact someone topside to buy supplies…

“Are you certain?” it asked, swallowing its indignation.

Fang Xiu beamed. “Absolutely!”

Paper figure: “……”

Paper figure: “…Very well. Please wait a moment.”

Revising a plan was part of the Underworld’s job. The paper figure understood… alas.

Now it wasn’t just Cheng Songyun who seemed on the verge of speaking but holding back. Everyone else looked similarly flustered.

“Fang Ge, I really feel like the second taboo would be better. If a bad guy attacks, it could at least slow them down,” Guan He said cautiously.

Cheng Songyun couldn’t hold back either. “We’re not going to see something like Weishan Village every time. Xiao Fang, maybe think it over one more time?”

In high spirits, Fang Xiu sat back down and picked up his chopsticks. “It’s only ten seconds of itch, right? The enemy can grit their teeth and bear it or use medicine or spells to hold it off. Anyway, if we run into that problem, we can figure something else out.”

“…But good food is nonnegotiable.” He grabbed a piece of chicken, and his words blurred as he chewed.

One stick of incense later, the paper figure finished casting the anomaly’s spell.

With a complicated look, it tapped Fang Xiu’s left inner arm with its fingertip, leaving behind a vivid red Kan trigram symbol. After a few seconds, the symbol faded away and sank beneath his skin.

Paper figure: “The E of Weishan belonged to water. All you have to do is create a shallow surface of water as your ‘offering table’, and you can retrieve offerings. It’s exactly the same amount and variety you originally saw, not a bit more or less.”

“Additionally, you can’t take this ability back to the human realm. Once you complete all your rituals, the Disaster Relief Tower will seal it.”

“What an incredible prize for breaking an E. No wonder Fourth Master and the others were so desperate.” Fang Xiu rubbed his patch of skin with a note of admiration.

No, Bai Shuangying thought, that surely wasn’t what they’d been aiming for.

“What’s on your mind?” As “friends”, he was willing to ask directly if he didn’t understand.

Hearing Bai Shuangying’s sudden question, Fang Xiu almost choked on his food. He coughed a couple of times and looked into those strikingly pale eyes.

“Well, uh…”

Fang Xiu stammered a little, voice quiet. “There might be even nastier rituals ahead where there’s no choice but to resort to, say, cannibalism… That’d be too passive, just not easy to handle.”

“Besides, offering people food yourself is a good way to get closer to the target,” he finished in all seriousness.

Recalling all the “feedings” along their journey, Bai Shuangying asked, “So am I your target?”

“You’re my friend,” Fang Xiu said.

Always such a slippery answer, Bai Shuangying thought.

During the remainder of breakfast, Fang Xiu explained the truth of Weishan Village to the others and summarized some points about the E, looking earnest and slightly shy, as though “kind and benevolent” were written all over his face.

But Bai Shuangying still remembered how Fang Xiu had turned Shan Hunzi into a bloody pulp with a shovel. Compared to this busily “performing” version, he found that bloodstained Fang Xiu much more pleasing to the eye.

…Well, never mind. Whatever Fang Xiu’s true intentions, the guy had already been dragged into deeper waters alongside him.

…Next ritual, he wouldn’t just be off to the side watching. They’d step onto the stage together. Thinking about that did sound interesting.

Once everyone had finished their breakfast, the paper figure spoke again.

“Right, from now on, each time you return from a ritual, be sure to take a shower.”

“It’s a special soul-nourishing spring that washes away any yin energy left behind by the E. If a living soul gathers too much yin energy, it’ll eventually affect their real body.”

Fang Xiu: “……”

Fang Xiu: “Bai Shuangying, wait here in the courtyard for a minute. I’ll just go wash up.”

He wanted to retract that earlier thought about the Tower being considerate.

He remembered perfectly well that the shower room in this place was glass-walled and offered zero privacy. It wasn’t about male or female so much as Fang Xiu just really hating to be seen naked. Even in the human world, he’d never gone to public bathhouses.

Yet after a moment of thought, his ghost spoke calmly.

“No,” Bai Shuangying said.

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The author has something to say:

Hahaha, bet you didn’t see that coming. There’s only a one-day break between instances (so sad).

In this chapter, Xiao Fang picked up a “dining table superpower”, and Xiao Bai got a “meal card magic item”, so everyone’s got a bright future ahead.

In the first volume, Bai Shuangying hardly ever stepped in, which really pained all the fans who love seeing them stick together… But now they can finally team up for real!!!

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