Author: 年终 / Nian Zhong

Translator: Kinky || https://kinkytranslations.com/

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Chapter 22: Ascension to Immortality

Of the four remaining, Cheng Songyun was the most inconspicuous. Fourth Master packed up the offerings and ordered her to carry them. Fang Xiu, however, didn’t make things difficult for her, casually grabbing a handful of candies for himself.

“Whatever they assign to you, just mess it up once, naturally,” he said nonchalantly while picking out the candies.

…This was Fang Xiu’s first instruction.

Crash!

At this moment, as she saw the coffins, Cheng Songyun feigned being startled and immediately dropped the food bundle. A can of preserved fruit smashed, its syrup soaking the red cloth. The wet stain darkened, resembling blood.

Fortunately, Fourth Master was too busy examining the coffins, so he just cursed a few times without investigating further.

Fang Xiu, on the other hand, was observing closely.

The coffins were made of clay, painted black, and inscribed with mantras for the dead. They were shaped like small buckets, not very large. Among the four of them, only Cheng Songyun, who was under 1.6 meters tall, could squeeze in with the corpse parts.

As for the three men, they’d have to break their limbs to fit in… Were they really supposed to get in?

“Get in, get in!”

Fang Xiu had a bad feeling, and sure enough, the spirits were closing in, encircling them tightly.

Fang Xiu stepped forward to measure the coffin. Though he was on the thin side, his broad shoulders would get stuck.

“Get in, get in!”

The spirits pressed closer, their voices growing more urgent, making it clear that if they didn’t get in, the spirits would “help” them.

“Just get in already,” Shan Hunzi said. “The lids aren’t sealed, so they won’t bury us alive. Look at the situation. It’s easier to get in than to refuse.”

After saying that, he chuckled, his joints cracking audibly. Shan Hunzi folded himself quickly, managing to squeeze into the coffin with the corpse parts.

“Enter the coffin. Don’t resist…”

The spirits covered the lid, but they didn’t do anything else.

After confirming the situation with Fang Xiu, Cheng Songyun also climbed into a coffin. She was small, so the process wasn’t too difficult.

“Enter the coffin. Don’t resist…”

Another lid closed.

In the blink of an eye, only Fang Xiu and Fourth Master were left outside, and the spirits pressed even closer. They smiled sinisterly, just an arm’s length away.

Fourth Master glanced around, gritting his teeth as he pulled out a yellow talisman, slapping it onto his forehead. In the next moment, his body shrank, becoming half its original size.

Miniaturized, Fourth Master struggled to carry the corpse parts into a coffin.

“Enter the coffin. Don’t resist…”

Before the lid closed, Fourth Master shot Fang Xiu a mocking look.

Now, only Fang Xiu was left, surrounded by spirits who stared at him intensely, their faces almost touching his.

Fang Xiu: “……”

Fang Xiu: “It’s nice to have props.”

Bai Shuangying hummed in agreement. He did have a spell for this situation. He could turn Fang Xiu into a pile of flesh and pour him into the coffin. Restoring him would be a bit of a hassle, though.

“Bai Shuangying, we’re friends, right?”

“We are,” Bai Shuangying replied, slightly raising his head, waiting for Fang Xiu to plead for help.

“…Can I lean on you for a moment?” Fang Xiu said.

Bai Shuangying: “?”

Fang Xiu took that as consent, moving closer and burying his face into Bai Shuangying’s shoulder.

Crack.

With a dull sound, Fang Xiu shifted his right arm, and his shoulder joint dislocated with a pop. His left arm went limp, hanging loosely by his side.

His whole body tensed up, followed by a slight, restrained shiver. Other than quick, shallow breaths, he made no other sound.

Bai Shuangying stood still, letting Fang Xiu’s weight rest against him.

When Fang Xiu raised his head again, his expression was composed. His face, however, was deathly pale, and sweat covered his forehead.

This time, Bai Shuangying didn’t feel underestimated.

He couldn’t tell if Fang Xiu genuinely thought he was weak or if he just wasn’t used to relying on others.

“Finally done.” Fang Xiu climbed into the coffin, struggling to fit his dislocated shoulder inside. “Hide yourself outside… Bai Shuangying?!”

Before the lid could close, Bai Shuangying, expressionless, jumped into the coffin with him.

Thump.

As soon as Bai Shuangying entered, he dissolved once more, his distorted form filling every gap like a liquid, perfectly fitting the coffin.

Fang Xiu was submerged in an instant.

The sensation was peculiar. It reminded him of his childhood. His father would drive while his mother held him in the backseat. With the car window halfway open, he’d secretly extend his hand outside, feeling the wind rush past.

It wasn’t quite water, but something similar, with a faint solid texture. Light, dry, and slightly cool.

Bai Shuangying, by comparison, was much colder.

The entity called “Bai Shuangying” enveloped him completely. It flowed into his ears and mouth, but unlike liquid, it didn’t break apart. Fang Xiu could feel it moving inside his throat, flowing down his esophagus and trachea.

It felt like drowning, and he instinctively wanted to cough but realized he wasn’t suffocating.

Though his shoulder was still dislocated, the pain seemed distant. It was a numbness akin to death, coupled with a strange sense of weightlessness. Fang Xiu curled up like a baby, letting himself be submerged, as if accepting a twisted embrace.

An embrace, deformed from the inside out.

[Your left arm is useless now.] Bai Shuangying’s voice tickled his mind.

His ghost had followed him into the coffin and clearly had something to say.

[It’s fine,] Fang Xiu thought. [I’ve noticed something. Neither Fourth Master’s group nor Shan Hunzi have any old or fresh wounds.]

[I’m guessing when we return to the Disaster Relief Tower, all injuries will vanish. There’s no restroom there, and the food is all offerings. The underworld has likely only captured our living souls, and these bodies are temporary vessels.]

Bai Shuangying: [That’s correct.]

[You knew from the start?] Fang Xiu bit down gently on the fluid in his mouth. It was soft and flavorless.

[You never asked,] Bai Shuangying replied indifferently. [Even if these bodies are temporary, if you die, you’ll still die. Our interests are tied, so don’t be reckless.]

[One arm is enough. I know my limits. I won’t drag you down.] Fang Xiu quickly reassured him.

[Mm.]

……

After a long, bumpy ride, the coffin lid opened, and the sudden light made Fang Xiu squint.

Bai Shuangying gracefully flowed out of the coffin, resuming his elegant ghostly form. Fang Xiu pulled himself up with one arm, letting out a deep breath.

“Thank goodness you can return to normal on your own,” he said sincerely. “I was worried I’d have to wring you out of my clothes…”

Bai Shuangying turned away, ignoring him.

Fang Xiu moved his body. The pain from his injuries slowly returned, though the worst part had already passed.

“Thanks for earlier,” Fang Xiu said.

Bai Shuangying frowned. “There’s nothing to thank me for. Your injuries remain unchanged. Don’t misjudge the situation.”

His ghost’s emotions were always straightforward. Fang Xiu could tell Bai Shuangying wasn’t concerned about his injuries. He was warning him not to act rashly, lest they both end up in trouble.

Bai Shuangying’s attitude toward Fang Xiu had always been like a human treating a stray cat, and not even the kind-hearted type of human.

If he was in a good mood, he’d pet the cat for fun. If not, he found the cat a nuisance.

One thing was certain: no matter how dire the cat’s situation, Bai Shuangying would never take it home. Even if it died, he’d only regret it for a few minutes… or a few seconds?

“…The flower.” Suddenly, Bai Shuangying stretched out his hand toward Fang Xiu.

Fang Xiu: “?”

“The paper flower is still at the bottom of the coffin. Pick it up,” Bai Shuangying said. “Our temple fair isn’t over yet.”

Fang Xiu’s eyes curved into a smile. “Alright.”

…He knew evil spirits lacked human hearts and that they could never truly be friends. But moments like these were enough to satisfy Fang Xiu.

…It’s fun to tease an agreeable human. Who says a stray cat always wants to go home?

After helping Bai Shuangying put the flower back on, Fang Xiu stepped out of the coffin and looked toward the shrine before them, which was theoretically, the last shrine—the southern shrine.

The shrine’s doors were wide open, but the inside was eerily dark.

A tall, thin figure stood in the center of the shrine, holding a red candle, which was the sole source of light.

The fire illuminated a face that was almost human but not quite. The pale white face had curved slits for eyes and a mouth that curved downward, nearly forming a semicircle.

It was Old Man Fu.

He stood in the middle of the shrine, as if welcoming them. Strangely, just before they left, he had still been sitting in front of the opera stage, watching the show.

Old Man Fu blocked most of the candlelight. Behind him, a couplet hung in the shadows, but only the first word could be faintly made out…

[Pitiful ■■■■■]

[Ascends ■■■■■]

Everything outside the candlelight was shrouded in darkness. They couldn’t see what else was in the shrine. Fourth Master, ever cautious, pulled out his copper gourd. This time, the gourd’s mouth pointed directly away from the shrine, almost as if it were screaming that the shrine was ominous.

“Fuck,” Fourth Master cursed under his breath, then turned toward Cheng Songyun.

“You… What the fuck!!”

Shan Hunzi turned as well, eyebrows raised.

Cheng Songyun was standing awkwardly, with a new arm growing from her left armpit and two deformed legs sprouting from her waist. Her neck had swelled, and a second head, about the size of an apple, was now fully protruding, complete with facial features and hair.

Seeing their reactions, Cheng Songyun panicked and looked helplessly at Fang Xiu.

Hadn’t Fang Xiu said Bai Shuangying was great at hiding things, and that she wouldn’t be exposed?

Fang Xiu didn’t meet her gaze. Instead, he cradled his injured arm and backed away, pretending to be shocked and frightened.

Deception again, Cheng Songyun realized. She bit her lip and lowered her head, saying nothing.

“It’s your turn. Get in there,” Fourth Master hissed, taking a sharp breath. “Damn it, what shitty luck.”

Shan Hunzi circled Cheng Songyun, frowning. “I’ve been paying attention. This woman hasn’t done anything unusual. Maybe we should keep her around for questioning and let Brother* Fang go first?”

*Little brother [Xiao Xongdi] (小兄弟). This is often use among cultivators/practitioners rather than didi (弟弟). 

“No!” Cheng Songyun blurted out. “I’ll go, I’ll go! If Fang Xiu gets hurt, I won’t tell you anything!”

She glanced at Fang Xiu again, but he didn’t stop her. He merely twitched his lips, as if he had fully expected her reaction.

Fang Xiu had said he’d guarantee her survival.

Cheng Songyun didn’t quite believe it. But if Fang Xiu could stay alive and find the “E”, then everyone could be saved, even if she was used in the process.

With three pairs of eyes watching her, Cheng Songyun stepped into the shrine. The moment her foot crossed the threshold, the door slammed shut.

The moment Cheng Songyun’s deformed body entered the shrine, the smile on Old Man Fu’s face vanished. He stood still, as shadows twisted around him and the temperature dropped sharply.

Cheng Songyun shrank back, quickly scanning the room.

The tables on either side were piled with paper. The walls were covered in white sheets, each with an inverted “Blessing” character. The couplet was right in front of her, and she finally saw the full words…

[Pitiful abandoned children, discarded like worn-out shoes.]

[Ascends to immortality, dressed in blue robes.]

After confirming the situation, Cheng Songyun turned and bolted for the exit.

A fierce wind swept through the shrine, rustling the papers on the walls. The candle in Old Man Fu’s hand turned blue, and his joints creaked as his face twisted into a grotesque grimace, with the slits for eyes curving downward and the mouth curving upward in a mournful expression.

“The Blessing has fallen,” Old Man Fu repeated coldly, as if casting a curse.

“The Blessing has fallen, the Blessing has fallen, the Blessing—has—fallen—”

But even as Cheng Songyun fled, he did nothing, glaring venomously at her retreating back.

It was as if he feared something.

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The author has something to say:

Bai Shuangying: Just for fun, no way I’ll actually take care of him.

Fang Xiu: I won’t follow him home.

No, you’ll follow him home, and you’ll even end up in bed together (…

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Cheng Jie successfully clears the stage, and next chapter, the big reveal begins!

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