Author: 颜凉雨 / Yan Liang Yu

Translator: Kinky || https://kinkytranslations.com/

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Chapter 56

For a moment, Ran Lin doubted his own sanity.

He understood every word, but when strung together in a sentence coming from Lu Yiyao’s mouth, it suddenly became very hard to comprehend.

Yet, it seemed as if Lu Yiyao was certain he would understand, sitting there prim and proper, his gaze filled with countless hopes like a starry sky.

Ran Lin knew he should respond, but his mouth opened and closed, still unsure of what to say.

This version of Lu Yiyao was so unfamiliar that he even doubted whether this was a prank, that the person in front of him wasn’t Lu Yiyao but maybe Xia Xinran or someone else in disguise, sending him a “newbie” welcome trick.

Before deciding to confess, Lu Yiyao had envisioned many scenarios. The best, of course, was Ran Lin readily agreeing, and the two of them joyfully stepping into a new life of mutual adoration. The worst was Ran Lin’s refusal. After all, the world didn’t revolve around him, and Ran Lin had every right to feel angry or indifferent.

He even prepared himself for a persistent confession after a possible rejection.

However, Ran Lin’s reaction didn’t fit any of his predictions.

Ran Lin just stared at him blankly, neither happy nor angry, but looking straight into his eyes as if trying to pull out demons from the depths of his soul.

Lu Yiyao felt his heart sinking.

With a glance over the living room, some friends were glancing their way, others were engrossed in their little circles, and a few had already run upstairs to continue their revelry.

He wasn’t afraid of Ran Lin agreeing or even jumping up to hug him, nor was he afraid of Ran Lin throwing a drink in his face in anger. At a high-spirited party, any emotional reaction was easy to explain.

What he feared was this cold silence.

Lu Yiyao was certain if they continued this awkward stare-off, it wouldn’t be long before some curious partygoers came over to inquire.

After a brief thought, Lu Yiyao said in a low, soft voice, “Let’s talk somewhere else.”

Ran Lin’s mind, initially stunned by the shock, slowly regained consciousness. His confusion was clearing up, but his thoughts became more jumbled.

The wooden house had collapsed; just in a moment, the ground was sinking, and suddenly it was in ruins.

The collapse raised a huge dust, covering his heart in gray, directionless.

Lu Yiyao suggested moving somewhere else.

That suited him fine.

Ran Lin followed Lu Yiyao through twists and turns until they finally reached the villa’s backyard.

In the open yard, surrounded by tall walls on three sides and the villa’s back on one, the center housed a swimming pool, now drained for winter, its bottom and sides seemingly covered with a protective film. Moonlight spilled down from the night sky, casting serene light on the protective film. Vine plants climbed the walls, leaves long shed, leaving only branches waiting quietly for spring’s revival. A romantically lit corner light made the desolation seem romantic and tranquil.

Lu Yiyao walked along the pool’s edge, while Ran Lin followed a couple of steps behind.

His shadow stretched long, reaching Ran Lin’s feet, each step on it giving a childish thrill of mischief.

Lu Yiyao finally stopped in a very secluded corner, lit by a night lamp, not pitch black but devoid of other noises except the occasional breeze.

In the night wind, Lu Yiyao turned around.

Ran Lin stood a step away, close enough for a private conversation but not too intimate.

In the cold February night, Lu Yiyao’s breath fogged as he spoke.

With the dim light making his face hard to see, Ran Lin could only listen to his voice, clear and fluid—

“I like you, and I want to be with you.”

As the mist cleared, Ran Lin could only clearly see Lu Yiyao’s serious and determined eyes.

Following Lu Yiyao here, Ran Lin was nervous, especially afraid that Lu Yiyao might suddenly become emotional and enact some dramatic idol drama scene like a hug or a wall slam.

Fortunately, he worried for nothing.

Even confessing, Lu Yiyao did so openly and formally, not playing with ambiguous phrases like “Let’s try dating” or “I think I might have feelings for you,” giving himself enough respect. Just like the Lu Yiyao who once said, “Because you, Ran Lin, are my friend, it doesn’t matter how popular we are or whether we are celebrities,” both were disarmingly sincere.

But being disarmed meant he had to guard—

“I don’t accept.”

During that tumultuous time of unrequited love, Ran Lin had daydreamed countless times about if Lu Yiyao confessed, wondering if he should be shy or warmly welcoming. But in every dream, his real emotion was ecstatic joy, barely containing himself from leaping forward.

But now that the day had arrived, there was no joy, only fear and… regret.

He shouldn’t have led Lu Yiyao on, shouldn’t have convinced himself that the other might be like-minded. It was already rare to be close friends, yet he had to push for more, ending up tangled and miserable and dragging others down too.

Lu Yiyao, surprised at first, slowly looked disappointed. “You don’t like me anymore?”

Ran Lin, already flustered at the word ‘like’, looked up and met his gaze firmly. “Yeah, I don’t like you anymore.”

Lu Yiyao nodded, taking a deep breath, his voice steadying. “Then from now on, I’ll pursue you.”

Ran Lin grew anxious. “Don’t you understand what I’m saying? My liking you is over. You don’t need any psychological burden. It was just my unrequited love; you don’t have to feel sorry, nor do you owe me anything.”

Lu Yiyao, possibly understanding Ran Lin’s internal conflict, quickly explained, “I’m not saying this to respond to you; I’ve really thought it through. I like you.”

“Are you gay?”

“……”

In a moment of silence, Ran Lin calmed down. He sighed and tried to speak earnestly. “If you liked me, or even had a slight possibility of liking me, you wouldn’t have immediately hinted rejection when I made flirty jokes. I’m not blaming you with this; I want you to understand why your first instinct was to reject without hesitation—because you are straight. It doesn’t matter whether the person flirting with you is me or someone else; as long as it’s a man, rejection is your first instinct.”

The night was like ink. Ran Lin, in his black school uniform, blended into the night, indistinguishable except for his pale face, which flushed slightly from speaking too much in one breath.

Lu Yiyao suddenly really wanted to slap himself. If he had realized earlier, things wouldn’t have come to this point.

But time can’t be reversed, and all he could do was be honest with Ran Lin. “Back then, I really hadn’t considered the possibility of liking a man.”

Ran Lin’s eyes stung, but Lu Yiyao’s honesty allowed him to let go of the anxiety he had been holding onto. His heart was bitter but also relieved. “That’s the problem. You’re not gay; you’re just fond of me because we are good friends, so you kept turning this matter over in your mind. If we had just been normal friends from the start, or not friends at all, and I told you I liked you, would you have thought twice about it, or would you have run far away… right?”

His last words were spoken gently, as if coaxing a child.

Lu Yiyao felt hypnotized, thoroughly drawn into the other’s hypothesis, and found no words to refute the very reasonable conclusion.

The wind brushed against his cheek like pinpricks. Ran Lin’s feet were cold in the single shoes typical of a Republic of China student.

He moved his feet slightly and then sighed. “You’re just too serious, too thoughtful, and overthinking things. If it were me, constantly thinking about someone else, I’d also feel different about them. Like some actors who easily fall for their co-stars while filming, thinking they’ve fallen in love, but once the shoot is over, the feelings quickly fade because it wasn’t true love, just an illusion.”

“If I had been sure from the start that you were straight, no matter how much I liked you, I wouldn’t have let it show. So…” Ran Lin said, lifting his head, his gaze traveling from the buttons, up the collar, to his nose and eyebrows, as if imprinting the person in his memory before parting. “Don’t foolishly bend yourself for me. You’ve been good enough to me. You don’t owe me anything.”

Ran Lin’s eyes were the clearest Lu Yiyao had ever seen. They held the most straightforward emotions and the greatest goodwill. They were not entirely selfless, but they often considered others.

Lu Yiyao watched Ran Lin quietly, neither arguing nor accepting, and then suddenly asked softly, “Are you cold?”

Ran Lin didn’t catch on at first, but when he saw the smile in Lu Yiyao’s eyes, he realized and glared at him. “I’m freezing to death, and you chose this lousy place.”

Lu Yiyao drew him close, not in an ambiguous embrace but a brotherly one, hooking arms and heading back.

Ran Lin nearly stumbled, thinking it odd for someone to be so casual after being rejected. But Lu Yiyao’s demeanor wasn’t pressuring; indeed, it was more like “the meeting with Classmate Ran has concluded successfully; let’s stride forth” in its carefree spirit.

Lu Yiyao was warm, even through the thick military uniform, the closeness allowing the heat to transfer.

Ran Lin was indeed cold. He hadn’t noticed it during their “long night talk”, but now that he was warmed by someone’s side, he felt the chill to the bone.

He wanted to ask Lu Yiyao if he truly understood and if he had really turned back to the broad road of straight men. But he dared not ask, afraid of burdening him with the thoughts he had just managed to set aside.

This confession had really scared him. Fortunately, he remained composed and clear-headed.

He had indeed told Lu Yiyao that if he met the right person in the future, he would be willing to face all storms with them.

But that person shouldn’t be Lu Yiyao.

Whether it was hardship or storms, these were not meant for Lu Yiyao to bear. He had been living a smooth life and shouldn’t suffer such a calamity.

……

When they returned to the living room, a group of friends teased and asked where they had sneaked off to.

Ran Lin borrowed Pan Dapan’s erhu and played an original tune, immediately filling the room with mournful sounds until he was collectively attacked, and no one remembered the earlier topic.

Lu Yiyao watched Ran Lin laugh brightly among the crowd, surprisingly not depressed by the rejection, feeling even more clear and peaceful inside.

He wasn’t sure if he was bent by Ran Lin; maybe he was, or perhaps he was deeply closeted, but either way, he had burdened Ran Lin. If he persisted, Ran Lin would probably beg him to change his mind.

But he didn’t regret today’s confession.

Like Ran Lin said, no one waits for you, and often, a moment’s hesitation means a missed opportunity.

He didn’t want, nor could he afford, to miss Ran Lin, even if it meant acting recklessly at first to secure the situation before gently nurturing it.

Ran Lin’s habit of considering others was worrisome.

But he liked it—liked it so much he wanted to hide it in his heart, not letting anyone else see.

In that time of confusion, Lu Yiyao couldn’t understand why he felt something for Ran Lin, but now he thought he had the best taste in the world.

At three in the morning, with work the next day, Pan Dapan, Tian Mai, and Lu Yiyao had to leave first.

Tian Mai and Lu Yiyao had arrived together and left together, consistent to the end.

Ran Lin, having no particular hurry, was pulled aside by Xia Xinran, who declared that everyone could leave except for Ran Lin.

Friends teased Xia Xinran, asking if he had fallen for Ran Lin.

Xia Xinran responded cheerfully, claiming a love as deep as the sea.

The friends were exasperated, Ran Lin was amused, and Lu Yiyao, unable to say more, just gave Ran Lin a deep look before reluctantly leaving with Pan Dapan.

Ran Lin didn’t watch Lu Yiyao leave but felt his parting gaze.

He felt an odd sensation—not panic, not happiness, not annoyance, nor confusion—just a sense of something stirring within him, unable to discern if it was joy or sorrow.

Without Pan Dapan, the party seemed rather subdued. By 3:30 a.m., everyone started to find places to sleep. Some crashed directly on the living room sofa, while others sought a more comfortable guest room.

Xia Xinran was among the latter, specifically choosing a room with tatami mats and pulling Ran Lin in with him. Despite facing Lu Yiyao, the prospect of sharing a room with another man so soon after being confessed to by him made Ran Lin’s mind race with alarm. Now, every male friend seemed suspicious.

Xia Xinran was quite familiar with the place and directly took out two white quilts with blue stripes from the closet and laid them on the tatami.

The atmosphere suddenly turned Japanese-style.

Just as Xia Xinran was about to undress, Ran Lin couldn’t bear the boldness of the beauty and directly called a halt. “Wait a moment.”

Xia Xinran had already taken off his suit and was now only wearing a shirt, looking innocently at Ran Lin. “What’s wrong?”

Ran asked with difficulty, “Are we really sleeping here tonight?”

Xia Xinran tilted his head. “Isn’t it comfortable?”

Ran surveyed the room, noting its ample size not just for them but for others too, yet hesitated, “Isn’t it a bit improper for just the two of us to share a room?”

Xia Xinran raised an eyebrow with a hint of meaning. “Only the guilty are so timid. What are you afraid of?”

Ran Lin’s heart skipped, speechless.

Xia Xinran, not completely undressed and feeling more relaxed without his suit, simply lay down on the soft bedding. Ran Lin, giving up on making a fuss, also laid down, removing his uniform to just his undershirt.

The blankets were soft and carried a faint scent of soap.

As Ran Lin closed his eyes, exhaustion hit him. A humidifier with a soft light and delicate mist added a touch of elegance to the corner of the room.

In the quiet, Xia Xinran suddenly asked, “Why didn’t you accept Lu Yiyao?”

Ran Lin’s heart sank. A bad premonition came true.

But he kept his breathing steady, eyes closed, feigning sleep.

Xia Xinran, uncertain, whispered, “Are you asleep?”

Ran Lin remained still.

Silence fell, and Ran Lin’s heart gradually calmed…

“I’m just watching you pretend.” Xia Xinran’s voice was suddenly close, whispering in his ear.

Ran Lin opened his eyes and turned to see Xia Xinran had moved closer, lying beside him, propping his head up with a smile.

Ran Lin felt defeated, remembering Xia Xinran wasn’t Lu Yiyao and there was no reasoning with him.

“Why refuse?” Xia Xinran asked, seeming genuinely curious. “I heard you liked him first, so why the rejection now?”

Ran Lin sighed, no longer pretending, and asked directly, “When did you start listening?”

Xia Xinran thought seriously. “From when he made plans with you for next Valentine’s Day.”

Ran Lin was shocked. That meant the living room!

“Where were you hiding?”

“Behind the sofa on the floor.”

“How did I not notice you?”

“I crawled over.”

“……”

“For gossip, I can go through fire and water.”

Ran Lin held his forehead, completely defeated.

Xia Xinran couldn’t help but admire. “Lu Yiyao is truly bold and meticulous. The more dangerous the place, the safer it is. He chose to confess at a party, quite the master.”

Ran Lin felt that his focus was a bit off. “Aren’t you… shocked?”

Xia Xinran blinked. “The fact that you’re gay isn’t really shocking, but that Teacher Lu is too—that’s quite unexpected.”

Ran Lin was frustrated. “How am I… not shocking?”

Xia Xinran replied, “Because you just don’t look straight.”

Ran Lin asked, “Where did you get that from?!”

Xia Xinran answered, “Straight men can’t possibly be as gentle as you.”

Ran Lin retorted, “Are you criticizing me or straight men…”

“I used to have a friend who’s gay,” Xia Xinran suddenly said solemnly. “You remind me a lot of him.”

Ran Lin couldn’t tell if he was being overly sensitive but felt a trace of melancholy in Xia Xinran’s voice.

Before he could figure it out, Xia Xinran urged, “Hurry up and tell me, why did you reject Teacher Lu? He’s good in every way and even more popular than you.”

The last words stung.

Ran Lin suppressed the urge to clutch his chest and patiently explained to Xia Xinran. “If you had followed me outside, you would have heard me say that he doesn’t truly like me. He’s just confused for the moment.”

Xia Xinran frowned, puzzled. “Then why did he direct his confusion at you?”

Ran Lin explained, “Because he knows I like him. Without my messy intervention, he would never have doubted his preference for men in his life.”

Xia Xinran: “So you’re his sexual awakening, no problem.”

Ran Lin: “……”

Xia Xinran: “Err, am I being too blunt?”

Ran Lin: “It totally doesn’t match your face!”

Xia Xinran lay down, hands behind his head, staring at the ceiling, murmuring, “I think Teacher Lu isn’t just confused temporarily. If he confessed to you, he must have thought it through.”

Ran Lin sighed and lay down too, staring at the ceiling. “I know he’s not someone who acts on impulse, but his overall state is off right now. So even if he thinks clearly, it’s fundamentally wrong. We just finished shooting a film together. You might not understand—it was the kind of story with intense emotional entanglements that can affect a person. Give him some time to completely calm down, and he’ll realize how foolish he was today.”

“I thought,” Xia Xinran seemed to smile faintly, brief and fleeting, “turning straight men would give you a sense of achievement.”

Ran Lin detected a hint of sarcasm, frowned slightly, and guessed, “Your friend told you that?”

Xia Xinran lost in thought, didn’t catch on immediately. “Huh?”

“The one you just mentioned, the friend who is a lot like me,” Ran Lin turned to look at him. “Did he tell you turning straight men gives you a sense of achievement?”

“Of course not,” Xia Xinran also turned, instinctively rebutting. “He was the one who got turned!”

Ran Lin was stunned.

Realizing his tone might have been harsh, Xia Xinran quickly apologized. “Sorry.”

Ran Lin immediately shook his head. “I should be the one apologizing. Because you said your friend was gay, I assumed…”

“He wasn’t initially.” Xia Xinran softly interrupted, his gaze drifting as if looking into memories. “We met during a talent show, living in the same dorm for months, eating, sleeping, and rehearsing together. We were all around seventeen or eighteen—naive but pure. We got along like solid friends, even if we had to compete on stage. But as the show was ending, he suddenly dropped out. If he hadn’t, he would have been in the top three, with great opportunities and resources.”

“Why did he quit then?”

“The company demanded it,” Xia Xinran’s lips curved into a bitter smile, “because he was involved in a scandal with inappropriate photos.”

Ran Lin guessed, “With another guy?”

Xia Xinran nodded. “Yes, and it was someone from the same talent show. He wasn’t identifiable in the photos, but he was wearing our rehearsal outfits. The photos didn’t leak; the company got them, but obviously, they had to do something about it to avoid future problems.”

Something flickered in Ran Lin’s mind, but before he could grasp it, Xia Xinran continued on his own.

“At that time, I couldn’t believe it because he’d told me about chasing girls when he was in school; he wasn’t gay. But when I confronted him after the incident, he told me he was, that he hadn’t realized it until he met ‘him’ and understood his true self. I asked who the other person in the photos was, and he refused to say, not just to me but to the company too. Revealing it would mean both had to drop out. In the end, he never disclosed it, and after withdrawing, he left. He was actually happy when he left, feeling he had protected his loved one.”

“What happened afterward…” Ran Lin sensed this wouldn’t have a happy ending.

As expected, Xia Xinran scoffed with unspeakable pity. “Not even two months later, that fool messaged me, saying he was heartbroken, and it was his decision to break up because he couldn’t hinder the other’s aspirations… Damn! It’s like he was brainwashed. I think that jerk could run a scamming class on relationships. Clearly just toying around, letting him take all the fall, and his dropout just moved everyone else up a spot, killing several birds with one stone, right?”

“Zhang Beichen,” Ran Lin understood. “The other person in the photos, it’s Zhang Beichen, right?”

Xia Xinran took a deep breath, and after a long moment, he grudgingly affirmed with a “Mm”.

Everything made sense now.

Xia Xinran’s attitude toward Zhang Beichen, his sensitive reactions to gays, and even… Zhang Beichen’s claim of love at first sight.

Looking at Xia Xinran, Ran Lin asked calmly, “Am I really that similar to your friend?”

Xia Xinran turned to look at him and, after a long pause, said, “Your features are somewhat similar, but it’s your aura that’s strikingly alike, both very comforting.”

“How did you know it was Zhang Beichen in the photos?”

“You can’t hide something unless you never do it. If it weren’t for my friend begging me, I would have exposed it.”

Ran Lin pondered for a moment and asked, “Is it possible that Zhang Bei Chen truly liked your friend?”

Without hesitation, Xia Xinran’s lips curled in disdain. “In his world, fame and rising to the top always come first. Even if there’s a shred of sincerity, it’s worthless on his path to success. My friend dropped out, and he moved from fourth to third. They broke up two months after the show ended. Do you expect me to believe in his true love?”

Overwhelmed with information, Ran Lin felt a mix of emotions.

Xia Xinran then exhaled in relief. “I was really worried you’d fall for him during the shooting of <Drifting Stories>. Thankfully, you have good taste, choosing Teacher Lu.”

Ran Lin was speechless.

“It’s the contrast that makes you special.” Xia Xinran gazed at him unwaveringly. “You worry about not leading Teacher Lu down this path, instead of rejoicing that someone finally loves you.”

Ran Lin, recalling Xia Xinran’s earlier passion, self-mockingly said, “If Teacher Lu’s friends knew about this, they would probably resent me as much as you resent Zhang Beichen.”

Xia Xinran shook his head. “I resent Zhang Beichen because he was irresponsible, seducing someone, enjoying the benefits, and then leaving them deeply in love. That’s not skill; that’s immorality.”

“But you and Lu Yiyao are different; you’re both serious.” Xia Xinran’s tone shifted. “My friend went to Tibet last year, came back saying he’d moved on, and by the end of the year, he was in a new relationship with a man. So I think maybe everyone is destined for a journey. If you get through it, you move forward; if not, life takes a turn. Whether that path is easy or hard, it’s the one you’re meant to walk. So it’s not about what you want to do to Lu Yiyao; it’s about being a turning point in his life. Even if you don’t continue with him, he can’t go back; he’ll just find someone else on this path. Are you okay with that?”

Ran Lin was confused. “But don’t you also think turning straight men is unethical? You said your friend had a girlfriend.”

Xia Xinran sighed, feeling genuinely worried for his friends. “What’s done is done. There’s no point in dwelling on past faults. The current situation is that Lu Yiyao has changed, and aren’t you responsible for that?”

“What if this so-called crush is just his misconception?”

“That’s why I didn’t intervene when you rejected him.” Xia Xinran rested his head on one hand, the other gesturing openly. “I too think he needs more time to settle his feelings and make sure.”

Ran Lin: “…Where were you hiding then?”

Xia Xinran: “In the dark corner by the wall lamp.”

Ran Lin: “Was it cold?”

Xia Xinran: “Freezing. What a terrible place Teacher Lu chose!”

Ran Lin laughed, his worries of the night dissipated by Xia Xinran’s words.

Before going to sleep, he asked Xia Xinran, “If you were Lu Yiyao’s friend, would you still advise me to be with him?”

Xia Xinran’s answer was simple and clear. “Yes.”

Before Ran Lin could ask why, he continued, “Because those few months dating Zhang Beichen were the happiest I’ve seen my friend. More importantly, you’re Ran Lin; you won’t run away after a few months.”

Ran Lin didn’t know what to say, feeling a flood of thoughts. “I…”

Xia Xinran: “Even if you run, Teacher Lu isn’t a coward. He’ll set you straight in minutes.”

Ran Lin: “…Good night!”

……

As Lu Yiyao was driving back to his apartment, about to enter the underground parking lot, he suddenly heard a shrill honking sound.

Looking towards the noise, he saw his usual van used for shuttling him to engagements parked by the side of the road.

Under the cool moonlight, the black van looked like a ghost waiting for its prey.

Before Lu Yiyao could think of a strategy, his hands already turned the steering wheel, driving towards and eventually parking behind the van.

The van’s door was swiftly pulled open, and soon a figure jumped out—it was Li Tong.

The assistant ran over in a few quick strides. Lu Yiyao rolled down the window, and Li Tong spoke in a hushed tone, “Lu Ge, Hong Jie has been waiting for you all night. As for me, I’m clueless and probably not far from getting fired. Just a heads-up for you.”

Lu Yiyao smiled reassuringly. “Don’t worry. You’re indispensable.”

With that, Lu Yiyao got out of the car and headed towards the van.

Li Tong followed, thinking ambitiously that it’d be even better if he were a golden bowl instead of just an iron one.

To his surprise, Yao Hong wasn’t as furious as he had anticipated but rather appeared tired, resting with her eyes closed. She slowly opened her eyes when she heard Lu Yiyao enter.

Lu Yiyao suddenly felt a wave of guilt.

Yao Hong had been juggling family and work, a tough gig that even the young might find challenging. She had always been running at full capacity. More importantly, their relationship wasn’t just that of a celebrity and an agent. Yao Hong cared for him like her own child, and he regarded her as family.

“Shall I ask, or will you tell?” Yao Hong spoke slowly, a hint of helplessness in her voice.

Lu Yiyao was mentally prepared.

He wasn’t very sociable outside of work-related gatherings and had recently been acting unusually, so it wasn’t strange for Yao Hong to be suspicious.

Likely, Yao Hong had followed him to the Aobei Villas and then returned early, knowing he had an engagement the next day. Cutting off the possibility of phone communications and waiting downstairs was a sudden but effective move.

Lu Yiyao had hoped to delay the conversation until things were more settled. After all, these kinds of things would always reveal its flaws. He couldn’t keep it a secret from his agent forever, so it seemed he had to face it sooner rather than later—

“I might be falling in love.”

As he said it, even he was surprised by how a simple statement made his heart feel as if it were blooming with flowers, filling him with beauty and fragrance.

Yao Hong, having already suspected, wasn’t shocked, but she was taken aback by the “might”.

Lu Yiyao nodded somewhat embarrassedly. “Yes, he¹ hasn’t agreed yet.”

Yao Hong frowned almost immediately. “She¹ hasn’t agreed? What’s there not to agree to? What’s wrong with our Lu Yiyao?”

Lu Yiyao: “……”

Li Tong: “……”

Realizing the situation was slipping, Yao Hong coughed lightly, reining in her doting parental instincts, and asked more sternly, “Who is she¹?”

Lu Yiyao’s nerves, which had just relaxed, tensed up again.

Yao Hong waited patiently, not rushing him.

After a long silence—so long that Li Tong nearly jumped in to reveal the answer himself—

Lu Yiyao finally said, “Ran Lin.”

Yao Hong was puzzled; her eyes were filled with confusion. “Huh¹?”

¹Clarity: During this conversation, they are using different pronouns. While Lu Yiyao is saying he (他), Yao Hong thinks he’s saying she (她). In Chinese, these words sound almost the same when spoken, so that’s why Yao Hong didn’t realize Lu Yiyao is actually saying he.

“Ran Lin, the one who did the variety show and <Sword of Fallen Flowers> with me. I’ve fallen for him.” With each repetition of the name, Lu Yiyao’s heart felt sweeter and more miraculous.

Yao Hong went from disbelief to shock, and then, seeing the determination in Lu Yiyao’s eyes, closed her own in despair. She couldn’t fathom her artist’s romantic feelings, only feeling a storm of emotions inside her.

Having a romantic relationship could be troublesome, but it was a phase every young artist went through. Yao Hong had always advised Lu Yiyao that he could delay romance but never truly thought to forbid it. She just wanted to be kept in the loop, to prepare and lay the groundwork for PR, and possibly coordinate with the other party’s agent to manage any negative impact of a romance revelation, perhaps even turning it into a positive…

But all her plans hinged on Lu Yiyao dating a girlfriend, not a boyfriend.

“Hong Jie.” Lu Yiyao gently held his agent’s hand, sincerely saying, “I’m sorry.”

Yao Hong forced herself to calm down, took several deep breaths, and finally opened her eyes, looking steadily at Lu Yiyao and asking, “Has it always been like this?”

Lu Yiyao met Yao Hong’s sharp gaze without hesitation. “Yes, it has always been.”

Yao Hong looked hurt. “Then why didn’t you tell me? I’ve been with you for over five years.”

Lu Yiyao steeled his heart. Since he made it up, he could only continue, “I never met the right person, and I didn’t know how to tell you.”

Yao Hong fell silent, her eyes filled with complex emotions—shock, annoyance, conflict, but mostly, compassion.

Lu Yiyao, unable to bear it, squeezed her hand and repeated, “I’m sorry.”

“You’ve already said that.” Yao Hong sighed, gently patting his head. “And there’s nothing to be sorry for. I was negligent.”

Li Tong, having witnessed everything, suddenly felt emotional.

This wasn’t the usual script of accusations and rebuttals leading to chaos. Instead, it was a family reunion.

And strangely enough, he found himself liking this ending…

“Alright,” Yao Hong’s voice became firm again, “let’s talk about Ran Lin now.”

Lu Yiyao didn’t hesitate. “There’s no problem with him. He’s a great person!”

Yao Hong retorted, “The biggest problem is that he doesn’t like you.”

Lu Yiyao, with puppy eyes. “So, Hong Jie, will you help me pursue him?”

Yao Hong was exasperated. “If you keep dreaming like this, you might as well leave the entertainment industry.”

Lu Yiyao pleaded pitifully. “Can’t you be a little more kind-hearted…”

Yao Hong was unmoved. “You’ve just added a lifelong concern for me. If I become any kinder, you’ll ascend to heaven.”

Li Tong shrank back, sympathizing deeply, thankful Yao Hong didn’t know he was in the know too.

Maybe it was time to talk to Lu Ge about a raise…

---

Kinky Thoughts:

I’ve grown tired of the trope of “straight but gay for you”. I think so far this novel has handled it well, especially Ran Lin’s response and Lu Yiyao’s depictions.

I don’t think it’s farfetched that Lu Yiyao is just now realizing his sexuality. I know people who didn’t discover their sexual orientation until they were around his age or even older, and some even finding out they are bi instead of straight.

Sexual orientation isn’t always as straightforward as one may think. In Lu Yiyao’s case, he may not necessarily be gay or straight, but perhaps demisexual, feeling attraction towards the “person” rather than the sex.

Growing up, especially in a society where being straight is the norm, one may find themselves not realizing what they truly are until much later in life. It happens. Which is why I’m always a proponent of increasing diversity (media, representation, ect.) so that all sexual orientations are represented… and also why I love reading danmei.

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