Author: 颜凉雨 / Yan Liang Yu

Translator: Kinky || https://kinkytranslations.com/

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Chapter 42: The Temple of Three Religions

In the pitch-black confines of the closed ship’s cabin, a phone, flipped over on the ground and set to flashlight mode, illuminated the faces of four friends.

They sat around the phone in a circle, gently swaying with the cabin. Some were panting, some disheveled, all utterly exhausted.

“Finally, some peace…” Yue Shuai let out a long sigh, sitting upright and motionless, maintaining a position with each palm pressed against his temples, as if he was extracting a devilish tune from his brain with the inner power of his palms.

“I can now fucking sing,” Wei Tianhang, who felt the same way, pulled off the rubber band on his braided hair and started shaking out the strands while also subconsciously bouncing his crossed legs to the rhythm. “Here, the sharks don’t breathe~~ Here, the…”

Captain Yue threw a sharp glance at him.

Suddenly realizing he was humming the tune, Wei Tianhang stopped abruptly; his face was full of astonishment.

Daman, that weapon is poisonous. TAT

“We should have just taken the water route from the beginning,” Su Mingzhan said lightly. “Instead of trying to be clever and taking the bridge, only to end up coming back here.”

Tao Anan reminded weakly, “A’Su*, it was you who suggested we take the bridge this time…”

*When using (阿) as a form of address, it signifies closeness, friendliness, or affection. 

“Right.” Su Mingzhan tilted his head and looked at him. “Which is why I was just criticizing myself.”

Tao Anan: “…Okay.”

Despite his baby face and schoolboy haircut, which made him seem petulant even when angry, his teammates had long learned to see beyond appearances.

Su Mingzhan’s combat prowess could be summed up like so: unexpected and deadly.

“It’s not all bad.” Yue Shuai offered a different view on the night’s route. “Although we used an extra stationery than planned, had we not detoured, we wouldn’t have encountered Wangwang and the others, nor would we have realized that there are still honorable men in this wretched place—not just deceit and treachery…”

“Wait.” Wei Tianhang had made a ‘stop’ gesture. “Did you get his permission to give him a nickname?”

“We’ve fought side by side. Formalities make it awkward. If ‘Wangwang’ sounds bad…how about ‘Senbei‘, ‘Snow Cakes’, or ‘Xiao Xiao Su’*?”

*Clarity: He’s using Xu Wang’s nickname Wangwang (旺旺)—not the actual Wang in his name. This also happens to be a brand of snacks in China, so the following nicknames he’s giving him are all different products of that brand.

Tao Anan swallowed hard. “Captain, you’re making me hungry.”

“Who’s fought alongside you?” Wei Tianhang retorted as he tidied and rebraided his hair. “For all we know, they’re cursing us right now.”

“Impossible,” Captain Yue asserted confidently. “Wu Sheng’s last bomb would have blown me and A’Su back to reality, but he threw it into the water instead. That was their ‘peach offering¹’. A’Su had his choice of several vicious weapons, but in the end, he still went with [Happy Trampoline], which is our ‘plum in return¹’. Once the effect of the trampoline wears off, they can continue on their way. Surely they’ll understand our intentions!”

¹This is referencing the idiom: Give a peach and get a plum in return (投桃报李). It comes from the Book of Song. It’s a metaphor for being kind to each other and treating each other with courtesy (return a favor/gift with a favor/gift).

Wei Tianhang: “……”

Wait for the effect to wear off? By then, those who had returned to earth would likely want to take them all down with them!

“Achoo—” Captain Yue sneezed without warning.

Wei Tianhang gave him a sarcastic look. “See, they’re cursing you.”

“Bullshit!” Yue Shuai raised his head. “Surely some girl is thinking of me!”

Wei Tianhang shot back. “Wake up! There are no girls in this godforsaken place!”

Yue Shuai: “What are you talking about? There are plenty of pretty NPC girls!”

Wei Tianhang: “Someone, knock some sense into this pervert.”

Su Mingzhan: “Captain, if you really can’t stand it, you might consider one of us…”

Yue Shuai: “No thanks, bye. I’m tired, so I’m going to sleep. I’ll see you guys later—”

Wei Tianhang: “……”

Tao Anan: “……”

Su Mingzhan shrugged and leaned back into a corner, vanishing into the darkness of the cabin. His departure seemed to signify a retreat into obscurity—his actions and merits hidden away.

Forty minutes later.

Beijing time, 2:30; Owl time, 20:30

People and zombies alike, exhausted from bouncing, had finally managed to stand still after another despairing touch-down, not bouncing back up again. It might have been luck, or perhaps it was prearranged, but all the “bouncing friends” landed on the shore.

Huh? Just bouncing and not going home? What an unexpected delight!

Ugh, maybe just going home would be better.

Fuck, Yue Shuai!

How much longer must we bounce?!

Whatever, my spirit is broken.

Happy trampoline, why are you called that? Come, let’s jump together…

—The above was the mental journey of the four teammates.

After landing, they froze for two seconds before exchanging glances with the zombies, regaining their composure, and continuing the fight.

This time, Team Wang showed no mercy.

A fierce beating ensued, and the last few zombies were wiped out. Their deaths were unjust, because even if Team Yue returned, they likely wouldn’t have been a match in terms of reputation and wealth. After all, a forty-minute happy (suppression) trampoline session had honed their fiery “war god” spirit.

“There’s two and a half hours left.” Xu Wang checked his phone for time. “What do we do now?”

“The original plan,” Wu Sheng pulled out a map and traced a line along the river. “If the dock is no good, we’ll follow the river embankment east and turn towards ‘Happiness Bridge’.”

The word “Happiness” on the map seemed ironic to the three companions, and they wondered who had given the bridge such an unlucky name.

“The entire embankment road goes through the forest,” Xu Wang sighed. “We originally planned to drive, but now without a car, are we just going to walk through the woods?”

It wasn’t only dangerous but also far; reaching the bridge by five was questionable, let alone getting to the hospital.

“Captain.” Kuang Jinxin spoke up quietly. “Look to the left. That pink object seems familiar.”

Prompted, all teammates turned to look. In the moonlight, a battered pink Beetle slowly approached, its damaged shell still defiantly shiny.

The car stopped beside them, and the driver stuck his head out the window and asked, “Where to, handsome guys? If it’s on the way, I can drop you off.”

Xu Wang grinned. “North of the city, Central Hospital.”

The Beetle driver nodded. “That’s out of my way. Goodbye.”

Xu Wang laughed. “Why did you wait until now to leave?”

The driver curled his lips and retorted, “In case you couldn’t beat them and needed a getaway. If I left and you all died, I’d be an indirect murderer.”

Xu Wang: “…There’s no need to imagine such a tragic ending in that much detail!”

Before they could argue further, the driver got out of the car. “You’re determined to go to the Central Hospital, so there must be a reason. I can’t go with you, but the car is yours.”

Xu Wang was stunned. “What about you?”

“I live nearby,” the driver explained. “I can run back home, and once I’m through the gates, I’ll be in the safe zone.”

“What if you encounter zombies on the way?”

“I’ll take my chances.”

“…How close is your home?”

“Ten minutes.”

Considering they’d already spent forty minutes on the trampoline, another ten minutes to ensure their benefactor’s safety was reasonable. After all, without the Beetle, they’d be much worse off.

Three minutes later.

Wu Sheng: “Wasn’t it ten minutes?”

Beetle Driver: “It’s ten minutes by foot, but you’re driving, so of course it’s faster!”

The group: “……”

The driver quickly entered the securely guarded community, turned around, and the ornate iron gate slowly closed, leaving only a decorative gap.

“Thanks for the ride.” He waved to his pink Beetle through the gate.

“Go up quickly—” The four in the car shooed him off.

However, the driver cleverly sensed the reluctance of his brief companions. In fact, he was reluctant to part with them too. TAT

In the car, the four felt a sudden chill under the driver’s “gaze”. It felt like they had inadvertently stolen the heart of a young girl.

Wu Sheng restarted the car and had driven only a few meters when the driver approached the decorative gap and shouted a final piece of advice to his departing “companions”. “There’s a Temple of Three Religions in the riverside woods. If you have time while driving through, go there to pay your respects and get its blessing to keep you safe—”

Beijing time, 2:45; Owl time, 20:45.

The Beetle progressed down the shady riverside path, going about a speed of 70. They were unable to go faster due to some damaged part that made the car rattle and bump like it had square wheels.

“I knew I’d heard it before,” Wu Sheng finally remembered, and he repeated the information from his mental files. “Su Mingzhan, Tao Anan, Wei Tianhang, Yue Shuai, 3/23 Paper Submission.”

Qian Ai, who had joined the team later, was clueless. Xu Wang and Kuang Jinxin, however, understood immediately and scrolled up their [Report Card].

Indeed.

That was the first notification they received on their second day in the “Owl”.

[Su Mingzhan, Tao Anan, Wei Tianhang, Yue Shuai, 3/23 Paper Submission.]

Leaning close, Qian Ai looked at Kuang Jinxin’s arm to get a clear view and raised an eyebrow in surprise. “They’ve already passed that stage so early?”

Information about others’ submissions is only available during the first stage, possibly as a benefit for newcomers. After 2/23, everyone could only receive information about their own team’s submissions.

By that time, Qian Ai was already past 2/23 and thus couldn’t receive that message, but a glance was enough to understand what was happening.

“It must be that they failed the submission and had to return.” Xu Wang exited the [Report Card].

Qian Ai frowned. “Although their team leader is a bit foolish, from coordination to skills, they aren’t ordinary fighters. If they can’t make it…”

How difficult would the stages be after 3/23? 

He didn’t finish his sentence, which sounded too disheartening, but everyone understood.

Therefore, there was a moment of slightly oppressive silence within the Beetle.

Unintentionally, Qian Ai raised his eyes and saw Advisor Wu’s face in the rearview mirror. The advisor was driving with full concentration, with his lips slightly upturned and his eyes smiling as if looking forward to the increasingly difficult stages ahead.

Damn, he almost forgot. This old classmate would get upset when the test questions were too easy!

Qian Ai withdrew his gaze, but on the way, he caught sight of Xu Wang in the passenger seat.

The former sports rep, now Captain Xu, was slightly tilting his head, pretending to look at the river on the left, but actually gazing at the advisor’s profile.

His look was gentle yet satisfied, yet within that satisfaction was disdain, then annoyance, and within that annoyance was sweetness, which quickly turned into a melancholic sentiment, and then back to tenderness again.

‘No wonder he’s the team leader,’ Qian Ai thought. This “all-encompassing heart” wasn’t something ordinary people possessed.

“Captain.” Kuang Jinxin, who had been observing the surroundings, finally had a pleasant discovery. “Is that the Temple of Three Religions he mentioned?”

Wu Sheng slowed down the car.

Xu Wang rolled down the window and looked in the direction Kuang Jinxin pointed, only to see a red temple-like structure faintly visible among the trees, almost 90% obscured by the foliage. If they hadn’t known about the building in advance, they would have surely missed it.

“Shall we go?” Qian Ai felt a bit daunted looking at the dense woods.

Xu Wang: “Let’s go. These kinds of side stories…”

Wu Sheng: “Often come with unexpected surprises.”

Xu Wang’s heart skipped a beat. Wu Sheng had exactly voiced his thoughts, word for word!

Qian Ai was also surprised at this seamless cooperation. “You two are getting more in sync…”

Wu Sheng, while driving, even managed to gesture with one hand. “Mainly, I accommodate him.”

Captain Xu’s heart rate returned to normal. “Don’t you feel guilty saying that?”

Wu Sheng righteously replied, “My conscience is clear.”

Xu Wang: “……”

Their brief moment of friendship (?), collapsed.

Wu Sheng drove the Beetle into the dense woods and, after winding left and right, finally stopped in front of the Temple of Three Religions. The Temple of Three Religions was essentially a temple with some Taoist elements in its design, but due to long-term disrepair and neglect, it was hard to study in detail.

The words “Temple of Three Religions” were clear above the main door, and on the pillars to both sides were inscribed, “Each teaching in the world has its wonder”, and “Confucianism, Buddhism, and Taoism converge into one.”

The doors were wide open with one completely fallen off, lying on the ground, and the rest hanging crookedly as if they could be blown away by the wind at any moment.

Wu Sheng turned off the Beetle.

In the quiet woods, only the sound of the wind could be heard.

The four tiptoed out of the car, sneaking into the Temple of Three Religions like thieves.

There were candles burning inside the hall, though not very brightly, but the dim lighting added a solemn feel. As soon as they crossed the threshold, they felt a change in the atmosphere.

Outside the hall, they were constantly worried about zombies popping out from dark corners. But just a door apart, they suddenly felt reassured, as if a gentle force had swept away their fears. Despite the door still wide open behind them, they felt calm and peaceful.

In the center of the front, three deities were enshrined, each with an incense burner in front and unlit incense sticks on a side table.

Having seen the words “Confucianism, Buddhism, Taoism” outside, they knew it was a temple dedicated to all three, but they couldn’t recognize the specific deities of each.

But knowing they were deities was enough.

The laboring people of our country never find it too much to worship gods; ideally, they would worship all possible deities. Thus, the four friends, without discrimination, sincerely offered incense to all three, hoping for a safe journey ahead.

After offering incense, the four stood in the center of the hall, waiting with bated breath.

According to the narrative’s convention, this would be the time for the deities to speak or for a mysterious gift to descend from the heavens.

Five minutes later, nothing happened.

Qian Ai: “Were we too naive?”

Kuang Jinxin: “Maybe what he meant by ensuring safety was just a good wish…”

Xu Wang sighed. “Forget it. Let’s not wait anymore…”

Clatter—

Qian Ai: “A secret chamber in the deity statue?!”

Kuang Jinxin: “Good thing we didn’t give up!”

Xu Wang: “I knew it!”

Wu Sheng sighed, poking his head out from behind the wall. “Instead of feeling sentimental, why not come and help me push—”

Xu, Qian, Kuang: “When did you get over there?”

Wu Sheng: “…What else? You think this temple will climb the wall by itself?!”

Together, the four pushed the wall 180 degrees. There was no secret chamber; the space behind the wall was simply to facilitate its rotation.

Now, the three deity statues were at the back, and what was originally the back of the wall became the front, revealing a new deity statue dedicated exclusively to worshiping incense.

Unlike the other statues’ solemnity, this new deity was carved to appear very young, with sharp eyebrows and starry eyes and a face like a jade dragon. His expression was casual, not solemn, and his posture was relaxed and comfortable, as if he wasn’t sitting there waiting for offerings but casually sitting outside the Southern Heavenly Gate, resting and enjoying the breeze.

The deity had changed. But the four friends’ routine remained the same: they offered incense, clasped their hands together, and made sincere wishes.

The light incense smoke twirled upwards.

Suddenly, the wind in the hall stopped, the candlelight ceased flickering, and the light in the hall took on a firmness.

After completing their prayers, the four slowly opened their eyes. On the incense table were two brocade boxes, one large and one small.

They looked at each other, speechless.

When deities aren’t responsive, one might half-jokingly complain, like saying, “Hey God, are you blind?” But when a deity actually responds, it feels inappropriate to joke around.

Finally, Captain Xu stepped forward and opened the “gifts”.

One was a “rocket launcher” needing ammunition, to be shouldered and fired with a somewhat controllable landing, clearly tailor-made for the half bag of explosive balls left for Kuang Jinxin. The other was a chainsaw, the kind used in the Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

Lightning Xu, Scythe Wu, and Rocket Launcher Kuang took a step back with their respective weapons in tacit agreement.

The “passively chosen” Qian Ai, almost in tears, looked back. “This really doesn’t suit me…”

Five minutes later, the resupplied Team Wang reentered the car and drove towards the bridgehead.

In the night breeze, you could still hear Qian Ai lamenting, “Oh God, please open your eyes and see. A gentle man like me doesn’t suit such a brutal weapon—”

Inside the Temple of Three Religions, all the candles suddenly extinguished. A faint silver shadow floated out from the top of the young deity’s statue, landing at the doorway, and in an instant, transformed into a long-haired young man, leaning against the broken door frame, watching the departing pink silhouette.

His eyebrows were sharp, his eyes starry, and his face like a jade dragon, but his look differed from the deity on the incense table. The statue’s gaze was clear and spirited. He, however, was half-squinting with a slight frown, clearly showing “this God is unhappy”.

Pulling out a cell phone from his flowing robes, the long-haired young man dialed the only number in his contact list.

The call connected.

Immediately, the long-haired young man complained grievously, “Why did you lend my car to someone else again…”

A reply came from the other end.

The long-haired young man sighed, softening his voice, deep and gentle. “I know you don’t like macaron pink. I’ve thought it over. Next time, it’ll be lavender… Hello? Hello? Hey—”

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The author has something to say:

The call ended, lasting 22 seconds. Let’s take a second to express our sympathies for the God ╮(╯_╰)╭

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