Author: 颜凉雨 / Yan Liang Yu

Translator: Kinky || https://kinkytranslations.com/

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Chapter 8

At the Mopan Mountain Pier, the starting point for sightseeing in the Li River Scenic Area.

Xia Xinran gave Ran Lin a shocked look when he saw the signs for “Pier” and “Li River”.

“Spill it, do you have a relative in the production team who gave you spoilers?” Xia Xinran asked seriously in front of the camera, making it seem like a variety show stunt.

Ran Lin was amused by this. Before he could respond, the production team hurried them onto a large tourist boat.

The boat, chartered by the production team, had a spacious indoor area on the first level and a bright, clean deck on the second.

The five men were first led to the indoor area on the first level. As soon as they sat down, the hostess re-entered the scene, glowing—

“Guilin’s landscape is said to be the best under heaven, so we chose the beautiful Li River for the first stop of The National First Love Drifting Story! From today, our heartthrobs will travel to eight locations, facing eight adventures, vowing to defend their honor as the National First Love! Who will be the landscape’s First Love in Guilin? Let’s wait and see!”

“The voting channel at the bottom of the screen is now open. Everyone can pick up their phones and shake them to interact with us!”

After the hostess finished her opening remarks and read the advertisements, she left the scene. As the main camera withdrew, the five follow-up cameras took their places. The subjects, whether composed, leisurely, bright, or playful, all shared one thing in their minds—confusion.

Not telling the guests the script indeed made things real. But the clueless guests were just as baffled.

Ran Lin was worried about how this first episode would turn out. At least for now, he hadn’t seen any highlights, neither in the production team’s planning nor in the variety show sense of the guests themselves.

In fact, he had no right to criticize others; he was just as wooden in front of the camera.

Hopefully, things would improve. As Ran Lin comforted himself with these thoughts, he was distracted by the scenery outside the window.

Along the shore were rolling green hills as the boat sailed on clear waters.

The river, not as full in winter as in summer, lacked the sparkling vitality of the warmer months but had its own distant and desolate beauty. The hills along the shore seemed covered in a light mist, creating an ethereal, mysterious feeling.

The banks were quiet, and few boats were on the river. The roaring tourist boat cut through the water, unfolding a picturesque landscape for those who cared to see.

Just a glance was enough to capture one’s attention.

“Ran Lin,” Gu Jie, who had gone up to the upper deck and was now back, called to him. “It’s your turn.”

Ran Lin came back to his senses, feeling as if he had missed the whole world. Without time to ask what was going on, he followed Gu Jie’s direction and headed to the deck alone.

Stepping out of the cabin, the river wind greeted him, slightly chilly but not too harsh.

The staff were already waiting there with a smile, and Ran Lin had a bad premonition.

Sure enough, his task was to pick one of the other four partners he thought most fit the image of a “Landscape Male God” and explain why, all while speaking to a secret camera.

The so-called secret camera was actually in a makeshift single-person booth set up on the deck with a camera inside.

From hearing the task to entering the “booth”, Ran Lin had only a few seconds to think.

The booth felt flimsy, as if the “walls” could be blown away at any moment. But to create a secretive atmosphere, the production team and staff outside were very quiet, leaving Ran Lin alone with the sounds of the wind and the river.

Lowering his eyes, pondering for a moment, Ran Lin let out a gentle sigh and finally looked up at the camera. No, he almost pressed his face against the camera, then said word by word, very seriously, “Although I feel a bit sorry for my idol, for the title of ‘Landscape Male God’, I still have to choose Xia Xinran. The landscape is naturally distant, graceful, and subtle. Although Xia Xinran is far from subtle, ahem, when it comes to beauty, he is second to none… Uh, wait, did I say something wrong…”

“No matter what, my vote goes to Xia Xinran!”

After throwing a flirtatious look at the camera, Ran Lin left the booth satisfied. He wasn’t sure how well he did, but he had done his best.

The boat passed various unique rock formations and peaks, eventually arriving at the Guanyan Pier. During the journey, apart from the booth interviews, there were no substantial segments for interaction. Everyone just enjoyed the scenery, the wind and showed off their good looks.

At the entrance to Guanyan, the five men lined up again. The hostess finally announced the results of the first round of voting for the Landscape Male God—Ran Lin voted for Xia Xinran, Xia Xinran for Lu Yiyao, Lu Yiyao for Gu Jie, Gu Jie for Zhang Beichen, and Zhang Beichen for Lu Yiyao.

Lu Yiyao received two votes, Xia Xinran, Zhang Beichen, and Gu Jie one each, and Ran Lin none.

When the hostess announced Lu Yiyao’s two votes, Ran Lin had a bad feeling, which was confirmed. In front of the camera, he could only jokingly self-deprecate, “I’m so handsome. How can you guys not see it…”

His four companions laughed along perfunctorily, without much sincerity.

The hostess then announced the real highlight of the day—The Guanyan Adventure!

Guanyan, a historic underground cave, had always attracted visitors. The cave had three levels and five chambers, with the two upper levels being dry caves and the lowest level housing an underground river. The caves were interconnected in a complex manner, and even with a map, one could easily get lost without a guide.

The five celebrities were given hand-drawn cartoon maps, marked with fifty badges.

Collecting badges was the ultimate goal of the Guanyan Adventure. They had four hours, and whoever collected the most badges would have a special privilege in a segment the next day.

However, the order of entering the cave was based on the votes received on the boat. This meant Lu Yiyao, with the most votes, would enter first and have the full four hours. The others, each with one vote, would only enter half an hour later, meaning they had only 3.5 hours to collect badges.

Ran Lin, with no votes, would enter last and have only three hours.

How much difference could one hour make in collecting badges? Ran Lin didn’t know.

In fact, Ran Lin didn’t really care about how many badges he could collect.

But with the other partners already inside the cave and only he left waiting at the entrance, the bearded cameraman Sun Ge insisted on filming his lonely situation from every angle. The thought alone was disheartening.

The five men, not yet well-acquainted—excluding Xia Xinran and Zhang Beichen, who also behaved almost like strangers—had instinctively made their choices, resulting in no one voting for him.

Ran Lin was no longer concerned about how viewers would react to this segment. He felt genuinely disheartened from a personal standpoint in his interactions with others.

“Oh my God, is this the map?” Xia Xinran exclaimed in shock upon seeing the “Pier” and “Li River” signs, and after Lu Yiyao had just disappeared into the cave. He held up the hand-drawn map to his camera. “Audience friends, please take a look. This is the map the production team gave us. Compared to this, the Beijing subway map is just a doodle!”

At first, Ran Lin and the others didn’t react much, but by the end of his statement, they all burst into laughter. Xia Xinran’s comparison was so vivid, considering the complex and winding map of Guanyan with fifty badge locations marked on it.

“Alright,” Gu Jie quickly regained his composure, saying seriously, “Instead of complaining, we should study the route.”

Xia Xinran had an epiphany. “Right, we have four people here—more brains are better. Let’s analyze this together!”

Gu Jie felt defeated, realizing that Xia Xinran seemed to have forgotten the adventure’s purpose was to compete for the title of Landscape Male God, which meant they were competitors, not collaborators.

But Xia Xinran had already spread the hand-drawn map on the ground, beckoning everyone over. “What are you waiting for, come here.”

Ran Lin smiled and was the first to respond. Zhang Beichen and Gu Jie followed with some hesitation.

Even so, Gu Jie was somewhat resistant. “It’s not quite right for us to discuss together when Lu Yiyao entered alone. He’s ahead with a full 4 hours.”

Xia Xinran sighed heavily, his face exuding a “you’re too young” kind of benevolence. “Don’t worry, he won’t blame us. He surely understands a principle better than any of us here: the higher the popularity, the greater the responsibility.”

With limited space on the map, it was a challenge for the planners to clearly depict the main routes inside the cave, the badge hiding spots, and the pathways. Fortunately, with four people and eight eyes, they managed to categorize the map within about ten minutes. Attractions, badges, and routes were all sorted.

No matter how clear the map was, it was just theoretical, so they ended the discussion feeling somewhat prepared. The rest depended on their performance inside the cave.

With ten minutes left until Gu, Zhang, and Xia’s departure, the three of them had nothing to do. One sat silently on Ran Lin’s left, studying the map; another sat on his right, looking out at the river, and one paced in front of him, interacting with his camera and the future audience.

Ran Lin had just chosen a clean spot to sit, not intending to stay long since the ground was cold in winter. But for some reason, all three of the one-vote party gathered around him.

He wondered if he had unknowingly picked a spot with good Feng Shui.

“Hey, why did you vote for me?” Having interacted with future fans, Xia Xinran suddenly squatted down close to Ran Lin, looking at him with wide, serious eyes.

Xia Xinran’s beauty wasn’t feminine but rather childlike. So, combined with his straightforward nature, he might come off as brash at first, but over time, his simplicity became relaxing.

“Because I think you’re even more beautiful than the landscape,” Ran Lin exaggeratedly yet seriously said, creating a comedic effect. But Xia Xinran loved being praised for his looks, regardless of whether it was serious or joking.

Like now, his face lit up. “So you’ve become my fan now?”

Ran Lin grinned and nodded hastily. “Yeah, yeah.”

Xia Xinran then bluntly asked, “So, do you like me or Lu Yiyao more?”

Ran Lin, caught off guard by his direct challenge, took a moment before replying, “That depends on who collects more badges.”

Xia Xinran dramatically turned to his camera with a serious face. “Lu Yiyao, watch out. I’m going all out to win over a true love fan!”

Ran Lin couldn’t hold back his laughter. He could already imagine the subtitles in post-production—[Crisis among the Male God Group, A Fierce Battle for Fans!]

Gu Jie watched the entire scene but couldn’t really grasp the point. Logically, he understood that this segment would probably have a good effect on the variety show, given Ran Lin’s reaction. But emotionally, he couldn’t relate to such interactions.

He somewhat regretted signing up for this reality show. For someone like him who preferred not to talk much in daily life, participating in a reality show was almost masochistic.

Zhang Beichen had been deeply engrossed in studying the map even after the group discussion had ended, so engrossed that he was oblivious to the drama unfolding just a few steps away.

Xia Xinran, seemingly fond of picking fights with him, came over right after hamming it up for the camera and bluntly asked, “Why didn’t you vote for Ran Lin? If you had, all four of us could have entered the cave together!”

Zhang Beichen, caught off guard, instinctively retorted, “Didn’t you also vote for Lu Yiyao?”

His tone was a bit sharp, clearly a direct and genuine reaction—both he and Xia Xinran had voted for Lu Yiyao, so why was one blaming the other?

Xia Xinran, however, had his own logic. “But you’re familiar with Ran Lin, right? Didn’t you both record the theme song together?”

Zhang Beichen was speechless at this point. After a while, he glanced awkwardly at Ran Lin.

Ran Lin felt black lines covering him. It seemed like he was being blamed for something he hadn’t done.

“If it were me, I would’ve also voted for Lu Yiyao.” Ran Lin quickly tried to smooth things over. “Who wouldn’t vote for Lu Yiyao as the Landscape Male God over me without feeling guilty?”

Xia Xinran was confused. “But you clearly voted for me, didn’t you?”

Ran Lin believed Xia Xinran didn’t catch the hint that he was trying to steer the conversation away from a sensitive topic. So he decided not to bother anymore and let the situation unravel.

“Actually, I voted for you out of sentiment. I was worried that if you got zero votes, you couldn’t handle it and would lose confidence in your stunning beauty.”

“…Ran Lin!!!”

“My becoming your fan is true.”

“True, my ass— aaahhh!”

Watching Xia Xinran’s meltdown was truly entertaining. He was genuinely upset, with most of his words needing to be censored. Yet, it didn’t make the situation awkward.

Instead, everyone was enjoying his rant, like watching a child who couldn’t have candy throw a tantrum.

Not every kind of genuine emotion was likable. But Xia Xinran’s frankness, unguarded mouth, lack of malice, and a bit of vulnerability made up his unique charm. There were times when he was annoying, but more often, he was endearing.

Meanwhile, Lu Yiyao, who had been in the cave for nearly half an hour, stood at the small dock of the underground river on the lowest level of the three-layer cave, hesitating.

After all this time, he had only collected two badges. He had followed the map diligently, but it seemed either the map was wrong or he misunderstood it. Either way, he was fed up!

Wasn’t the show supposed to be about reality? Fine. The real Lu Yiyao just wanted to enjoy a leisurely trip!

Lu Yiyao had never been taken on a trip when he was a child as his parents were always busy; then he went abroad for middle school, always returning to China during holidays for additional education; later, during college, he had a falling out with his father, who wanted him to study business, and had to work part-time due to reduced financial support, leaving no opportunity for travel; and finally, after entering the entertainment industry, he was so busy he couldn’t even find time to complete his credits, let alone travel.

So, part of the reason he signed up for this reality show was his fondness for the “travel element” in the program’s plan.

But the experience turned out to be entirely different. Constant camera presence made him overthink everything, worrying about what to say and do, unlike acting according to a script. This required improvisation.

Well, he decided to improvise.

Let others collect the badges; he was going to thoroughly enjoy the stunning karst landscape.

“Slow down, step here, right.” On the small boat at the underground river dock, the boatman carefully helped Lu Yiyao and the cameraman aboard, ensuring their stability.

“Sit tight!” Amidst the roaring water, the boatman called out and set sail.

As the boat slowly moved away from the dock, heading deeper, Lu Yiyao put down the hand-drawn map and stretched out without caring about the camera.

He suddenly noticed a familiar logo and, curious, picked up a box with the program’s logo from under the boatman’s feet.

Opening it, he found a badge inside.

Lu Yiyao was astonished. He set the badge aside and picked up the map again.

If he remembered correctly, there were no badges marked at the underground river on the map!

Three minutes later, Lu Yiyao discovered the problem. What he had thought to be the underground river was actually the sightseeing car path, and what he had believed to be the sightseeing car path was, in fact, the walking dry path. The actual underground river was where he had thought the walking path was.

Either the map was drawn incorrectly, or I misunderstood it.

Now it seemed, it was the former. The artistic quality of the hand-drawn map was soul-elevating, but the whimsical placement of the landmark names could drive someone with OCD to madness.

According to the revised understanding of the map, after getting this badge, there was no need to waste more time exploring the underground river, as there were no more badges along that route. There must be another one overlooked near the dock.

Thinking this, Lu Yiyao abandoned his previous resignation and got serious again, politely saying, “Excuse me, could you please take me back to the dock?”

“What?” The sound of the water was too loud, and the boatman didn’t hear him clearly.

Lu Yiyao had to shout, “I want to go back to the dock—”

The boatman finally heard him. “No—”

Lu Yiyao: “…Why?!”

The boatman didn’t reply but instead bent down to pick up a prop board that Lu Yiyao had overlooked, which was placed under the original badge box, and held it up high.

Lu Yiyao looked closely. In the colorful light, playful and clear calligraphy characters were visible:

[The path you choose, even if in tears, must be completed! — The Production Team]

Lu Yiyao stared blankly at the prop board, suddenly wanting to ask, ‘Who am I? Where is this? What am I doing?’

The episode’s planning was a mess, the prop preparation was dubious, and they were professional in playing tricks on the guests.

Hong Jie, how did you manage to pick this show out of so many glamorous and beautiful reality show proposals for me? 

Is the director your relative…?

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