Author: 年终 / Nian Zhong

Translator: Kinky || https://kinkytranslations.com/

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Chapter 80: Possession

In autumn, the sky was high and the clouds faint, while the maple forest was dyed red.

But the three-year-old brat didn’t know how to appreciate it. He only knew how to cry and walk and was on the verge of crying himself breathless.

The sensation of becoming a human-shaped kite was quite mysterious, as the adult Sect Master Shi had realized long ago. Perhaps it was the effect of breaking through the ban, but this place was somewhat similar to Yan Budu’s “state of mind”. He was being dragged along like a wandering ghost, following his childhood self.

All the thoughts and feelings of that young child were transmitted into his consciousness. There weren’t many chances to relive the past. Compared to lamenting the past, Sect Master Shi found some amusement in it—after all, he knew the outcome in advance; this child wouldn’t die no matter what.

So Sect Master Shi focused his attention and carefully observed his past self.

For some reason, at that time, he couldn’t make a sound, only gasping for breath and sniffling. The young Shi Jingzhi stumbled among the fallen leaves, and with a slight misstep, he would fall and struggle to get up on his own.

After crying for a long time, he finally realized that silently shedding tears was of no use; no one would come to rescue him.

So he had to suppress his panic and concentrate on dealing with his fears—not far from him, something let out a terrible howl, clearly the sound of a beast with claws.

Three-year-old Shi Jingzhi had cried for so long that his head was spinning, and his legs were weak. Not to mention escaping, he couldn’t even walk far. Instinctively, he found a tree hole and squeezed his whole body into it, using fallen leaves to block the entrance and not daring to breathe too loudly.

The beast stopped howling, and he didn’t dare to peek. At that time, he was both tired and scared, so he quietly curled up in the hole, half asleep and half unconscious, throughout the night.

The next day, it was hard to say whether he woke up due to hunger or thirst.

Children would get hungry quickly, let alone go a whole day without food or water, while also exerting a considerable amount of physical energy. He was like a naive young cub that strayed too far from its nest and was destined to die from thirst.

Under “object addiction”, the torment of hunger and thirst was a hundred times harsher than usual.

This time, he realized the value of water and dared not cry anymore. Awkwardly crawling out of the tree hole, the young Shi Jingzhi found a moderately sized tree branch as a makeshift cane and began walking unsteadily.

It wasn’t like there weren’t any brightly colored fruits in the forest; he had tasted them. The fruits were bitter and numbing in his mouth, clearly not edible. Some fruits pecked by birds hung on the branches, but the trunks were too sturdy, and the branches were too high, creating an insurmountable barrier.

After walking on an empty stomach for a few hours, he found a slightly rotten mouse. The will to survive prompted him to open his mouth, but the smell of the dead mouse was so foul that he couldn’t eat much before vomiting.

With great difficulty, he mustered the courage to open his mouth, but instead of alleviating his hunger, it almost made him vomit all the water out, leaving him seeing stars.

He had to find some water to drink first, then search for something to eat.

Otherwise, he would die here.

At that moment, he still didn’t understand what “death” meant, but that intense craving was already active and forced him to maintain his fear. Guided by the will to survive, the young Shi Jingzhi steadfastly moved in a certain direction.

Even if he didn’t know what lay ahead, he didn’t dare stop there.

To stay alive, he had to find something. Like a river, a path to escape, or better yet, the scent of a living person.

He didn’t know how long he had been walking; blisters formed on the soles of his feet, his lips were cracked and bleeding, and his stomach rumbled like a drum. The young Shi Jingzhi’s vision gradually filled with stars, and he wavered in place, barely having the strength to stand upright.

It was at that moment that he caught a whiff of food.

Not the smell of fresh blood or ripe fruits. He smelled the tantalizing aroma of roasted oil, kissed by fire, so delightful it felt like a dream.

Overwhelmed with astonishment and joy, his legs, like two soft noodles, regained strength. So he mustered his last bit of energy and moved on all fours toward the direction of the scent, fearing that it might suddenly disappear, leaving him stranded in this perilous forest.

The surrounding fallen leaves fluttered, appearing as a blur of gold and red. His eyes were fixated on that thin thread of vitality —

“Little brat, do you not value your life to come to a place like this?” a voice sounded.

Although the person’s tone was icy, to the young child at that time, it was like heavenly music.

Not far away, that thread of “vitality” pierced straight into his eyes.

In that instant, Sect Master Shi felt a layer of cold sweat form on his body. Forget about spectating and seeking amusement; the scene before him was absurd to the extreme, as if a bucket of icy water was poured over his head.

The face of the black-clothed person was no longer blurry.

This “vitality” that arrived at his moment of death had the exact same face as Yin Ci.

In an instant, the fully grown Shi Jingzhi felt a chill run through his body, a tingling sensation on his back, and he was on the verge of trembling. Deep down, it felt as if someone was pushing him in circles, returning him to the starting point.

That person leaned against a resting tiger demon, exuding an aura of alcohol and blood. He played with an empty wine jar, grinding the fallen leaves into fine and crisp sounds. His long hair, resembling silk, cascaded over his loose black clothes.

The voice had the same tone, with an identical demeanor. The aura was as icy as snow, and the chilling hostility was awe-inspiring.

Even if they were father and son, or master and disciple, there would never be such an identical display of power and aura. Shi Jingzhi had accompanied Yin Ci for many days and understood in his heart that he couldn’t be mistaken.

It turned out that this karmic bond had been planted more than twenty years ago.

For twenty years, Yin Ci’s appearance hadn’t changed at all. Had he drunk immortal wine, or was there… some other reason?

If there was one difference, it was that the current black-clothed person seemed noticeably colder than the Yin Ci Sect Master Shi knew.

The black-clothed figure in front of him was more like an empty paper shell, with a touch of madness evident in his features. He exuded a heavy sense of death, resembling an old man on the verge of decay. Although he smiled at this moment, there was no trace of laughter in his dark eyes.

The specter from the future stood still in the fading light, with a lingering cold sweat on his back. He stared at the person so close yet seemingly far away, his lips slightly trembling. “A’Ci…?”

However, the Yin Ci from his memories didn’t respond to his call, and the past version of himself didn’t continue to examine the other person.

The three-year-old child had no understanding of appreciating beauty or analyzing situations. The young Shi Jingzhi stared intently, completely ignoring Yin Ci’s mocking remark—it went in one ear and out the other. He had no mind to pay attention to the “stranger” in front of him and immediately pounced like a tiger, heading towards the remnants of roasted snake not far away.

He anxiously tore off a bit of meat that remained on the bones and stuffed it all into his mouth, wishing he could chew the bones into pieces and swallow them. When the burning sensation in his stomach subsided a bit, he grabbed an empty wine jar with a remaining bottom and didn’t care about the overwhelming smell of alcohol; he just wanted to get some water for himself.

To his surprise, as he was about to stick his head into the jar, Yin Ci pulled him away. With just two fingers, Yin Ci lifted him up and, incidentally, finished off the remaining wine in the jar.

“This is poisoned wine. Don’t drink it,” Yin Ci casually remarked.

The child didn’t understand the difference between “real wine” and “fake wine”. The young Shi Jingzhi, unable to find any water, had tears welling up in his eyes. He pitifully clung to the hem of Yin Ci’s clothes, making dry “ah ah” sounds in his throat.

Yin Ci glanced at him expressionlessly and pulled out a wild fruit from his sleeve, tossing it casually. The action was more like dismissing a small animal that had accidentally strayed into this place than taking care of a human child.

“Finish eating and then get lost.”

The voice was low and carried a sense of roughness, like a blade with bloodstains rubbing against it, giving off an ominous coarseness.

The wild fruit was moist and sweet. The young Shi Jingzhi gobbled it down, even sucking the fruit seed clean. Then, disregarding the massive tiger demon, he happily toddled over to Yin Ci’s side and began tugging at his clothes.

When he grew a bit older and learned some martial arts theory, he would understand that this behavior was essentially equivalent to courting death—

Yin Ci’s state was clearly abnormal.

He stood in front of the tiger demon, his eyes fixed on emptiness, with a mixture of hostility and bloodlust swirling around him, almost overflowing. His once beautiful face was pale, tinged with a distinct blood color in the whites of his eyes.

A typical manifestation of pent-up anger and madness.

An abnormal pressure surged, causing the tiger demon to open its six eyes and all its fur to stand on end. It struggled to get up and ran away.

Yin Ci’s bloodlust grew even stronger.

He paid no attention to the fleeing tiger demon. Instead, he leaned against the large maple tree behind him, sitting on the ground again and adjusting his qi and calming his breath. With only a child by his side, Yin Ci didn’t bother hiding his emotions. His face held a mixture of hatred and sorrow, as if all his thoughts were filled with despair.

For a moment, sword qi scattered, dispersing countless red leaves.

The sword stance vaguely carried the aura of the Bone Sweeping Sword technique, yet it was completely out of control, filled with madness.

However, the bold little kid wasn’t afraid of anything. Since he hadn’t managed to obtain more fruits, he simply changed his strategy.

Adhering to the principle of “as long as the green mountains are preserved, there’s no need to worry about firewood”, he tightly grasped Yin Ci’s robe and nestled against Yin Ci’s waist. He acted as if the immense evil and fierce sword qi beside him didn’t exist, squinting his eyes as if ready to fall asleep.

Yin Ci’s evil qi was also suppressed by this fearless little thing.

He glanced at the dirt-covered child beside his leg and a hint of bewilderment flashed across his face. Then, he grabbed the back of the kid’s clothes and lifted him up, seemingly wanting to shake some courage out of him.

The three-year-old child had a face covered in dirt, licked his lips a few times, and laughed at Yin Ci fearlessly.

The young Shi Jingzhi’s mind was filled with the sweet taste of the fruit from earlier, and there was still a lingering sweetness in his mouth. He felt that the person in front of him was a kind and familiar living Bodhisattva. So he opened his short arms and flapped them with all his might, expressing his extreme fondness and desire for peaceful coexistence.

If there were more fruits, that would be even better.

Yin Ci gazed at the child in front of him with a dazed expression, completely subdued by this young and reckless fugitive—he seemed to regain some clarity, no longer going mad, but furrowing his brow and handing over another wild fruit.

The little brat devoured it eagerly, then used the edge of Yin Ci’s sleeve to wipe his mouth.

This time, the young Shi Jingzhi wasn’t satiated, but he was no longer famished either. He had finally escaped the torment of “objection addiction” and the boundless fear that accompanied it. With great difficulty, he found a moment of peace, maintaining the posture of being held by Yin Ci and dozing off on the spot.

Yin Ci: “…”

He put the little brat aside, but the person suddenly rolled over and snuggled back to Yin Ci’s leg. Clinging to that warmth, afraid that the living Bodhisattva would abandon him.

Yin Ci lowered his eyes with a complicated expression.

He quietly watched the young Shi Jingzhi for a moment, as if giving up something, then slowly rested his head against the trunk of the maple tree and closed his eyes. The latter didn’t think much about it and simply hugged Yin Ci’s leg, falling asleep peacefully.

The sunset sank, and silence enveloped the surroundings. If it weren’t for the sword qi and marks left on the ground, the previous madness would seem like a mere illusion.

The next day, Yin Ci’s bloodshot eyes became even more intense, but compared to yesterday’s frenzy, he seemed to maintain his sanity.

He began to talk to the young Shi Jingzhi. However, his tone was more akin to studying a completely new species than the warmth and kindness of an adult.

“Your voice… Hm, you accidentally ate poisonous grass, but it will recover after some time.”

Yin Ci seemed to have made up his mind to shift his focus, finding something to say.

“Are you a child from the mountains? You don’t look like an abandoned child, so how did you end up in Juyi Valley? Where are your parents?”

Shi Jingzhi tilted his head and pondered for a moment, but apparently couldn’t come up with an answer suitable for outsiders. He didn’t even manage to gesture, only vigorously shaking his head, almost shaking it off.

Yin Ci suddenly realized. With a look of pity, his face was saying, “It turns out you’re a mute.”

He lost interest in communicating with the mute and continued to sit cross-legged, closing his eyes and focusing on regulating his breath. However, while dealing with his possession*, he didn’t forget to prepare some food for the little brat by his side.

*The term being used (which is also the title of this chapter) is (入魔) which means “falling into demonic possession”. It’s commonly used to describe a state in which a person, usually in the context of cultivation, becomes overwhelmed with negative emotions, loses control, and succumbs to darkness or evil influences. It signifies a state of being possessed or influenced by evil forces, leading to erratic behavior, loss of rationality, and potential harm to oneself or others. || In terms of cultivation, it means succumbing to your inner demon (which causes qi deviation that leads to “possession”).

On this day, the young Shi Jingzhi not only got sweet fruits but also had the fortune to eat a few grilled fish. The fish was rich in oil, with crispy skin and fragrant meat. He ate with such delight that he almost swallowed his own tongue.

Having eaten his fill, his tense nerves relaxed slightly. Shi Jingzhi took advantage of the situation and stuck close to Yin Ci, trying to gather more sense of security.

He leaned closer, and Yin Ci didn’t avoid him. Yin Ci only opened his bloodshot eyes slightly, quietly gazing at the child beside him. His expression held a subtle solemnity, revealing neither joy nor anger.

“Juyi Valley is a place where monsters gather, and suddenly a three-year-old child appears… Are you destined to bring me answers?”

As the young Shi Jingzhi stuffed his mouth with fish, he struggled to show a face of confusion.

Yin Ci sighed lightly and tugged at his own face. “Kid, after you finish eating and drinking, how about giving me some answers?”

At that moment, Shi Jingzhi was afraid of hunger and worried about not having his next meal. His whole being was consumed with eating, and he had no space to ponder Yin Ci’s words.

On the other side of time, the adult Shi Jingzhi stood silently. Unable to resist, he reached out his hand but couldn’t touch Yin Ci, who was only a step away.

Having been together all these days, he had never seen Yin Ci display such an expression—filled with sorrow and melancholy, almost fragile.

What destiny? What happened to you? …Why do you wear such an expression?

Each question clenched at his chest, causing a sour ache, but memories were just memories. No matter how vivid the recollections, the real “him” didn’t exist in this time and place.

The initial excitement of experiencing memories had faded away, leaving Shi Jingzhi with a bitter taste in his mouth.

On the second day of their encounter, Yin Ci suppressed his killing intent, and the two of them coexisted peacefully.

Unfortunately, on the third day, calamity struck.

Since ancient times, possession was never a state that could be easily quelled—no matter how hard Yin Ci tried to maintain his clarity, that clarity was only temporary.

Unresolved knots of the heart led to possession; it was only a matter of time. Yin Ci still teetered on the edge of madness, just one step away from crossing the threshold.

On this day, Yin Ci seemed to have lost interest in conversing with the young Shi Jingzhi, or perhaps he simply lacked the energy to speak. Apart from preparing food for the child by his side, he spent most of his time in a daze or in a state of drowsiness.

At noon, Yin Ci leaned against the maple tree as usual. He was afflicted by some torment; veins bulged on his neck and forehead, and his eyes completely turned into an ominous dark red.

He gradually hugged his arms tightly, with his ten fingers deeply embedded in his own flesh. Fresh blood instantly dyed his black clothes even darker. Around Yin Ci, the sword qi, filled with killing intent, began to disturb the surroundings, reducing all the nearby wine jars and bones to powder.

Once again, the young Shi Jingzhi approached. This time, Yin Ci ruthlessly opened Shi Jingzhi’s hand, struggling to form words.

“You… Wait for me here. Don’t wander… There are monsters.”

Yin Ci fell silent for a moment; his voice was tinged with a hint of paranoia, each word carrying traces of blood. It was partly an order and partly a plea.

“As long as you… wait here, I… will come back… Please wait for me… okay?”

Perhaps the emotions were too despairing. Even though the young Shi Jingzhi was only three years old at that time, he finally began to grasp the meaning. He hesitantly looked at Yin Ci and nodded cautiously.

Yin Ci sighed with relief, enduring immense pain as he unsteadily stood up. His gaze had started to become unfocused, forcibly squeezing out the last bit of clarity, and he forced himself to leave the big maple tree.

However, this was a memory from the young Shi Jingzhi. Even if the adult Shi Jingzhi wanted to follow Yin Ci, he couldn’t truly accompany him. He could only be trapped alongside his younger self, listening to the distant cries and howls of beasts and watching the flock of birds startled by the out-of-control sword qi.

Yin Ci struggled to resist the state of possession.

But possession stemmed from an ailment of the heart. Without breaking free from obsession and resolving the heart’s troubles, no matter how tenacious the struggle, it would only be a delay. Even though they were separated by a great distance, the adult Shi Jingzhi could still discern the despair that filled the air.

As a child, he didn’t fully grasp such emotions, but he could sense the pain and suppression in the person’s tone. Shi Jingzhi looked worriedly in the direction Yin Ci had left and began to wait obediently.

One hour passed, then two.

The distant cries became increasingly agonizing, but Yin Ci didn’t return. Shi Jingzhi sat with a furrowed brow for a while, feeling as restless like ants on a hot pan, and the worry on his face grew heavier.

After all, a child’s mind didn’t have many deep thoughts. He hesitated on his tiptoes for a moment, then clenched his teeth and ran out. The direction was opposite to the cries, resembling an escape.

As Sect Master Shi was dragged along, he was almost infuriated by his past self.

Did he have a special fondness for poking the tiger’s behind? Did he have to provoke his benefactor, who was halfway into possession?

Little did he know, he wasn’t simply running around for fun—following the path Yin Ci had taken to find him, the young Shi Jingzhi discovered a meadow full of wildflowers. This flower field wasn’t far from the big maple tree, a round trip that could be completed within the time it takes an incense stick to burn.

…Children’s thinking was truly simple.

If the other person was feeling uncomfortable, just give them something beautiful, and they would feel better.

The three-year-old firmly believed in this ironclad rule. Shi Jingzhi specifically chose the most beautiful flower, carefully tucking it into his embrace, his face filled with pride that said, “I’m going to repay the favor.”

However, as he walked back, something went wrong.

No matter which way he went, he couldn’t find the way he came from.

Gradually, the sun set in the west, and the mist thickened, carrying a strong demonic aura. Shi Jingzhi carefully held onto the flower while uncontrollably starting to sniffle.

Despite only being half an incense stick’s distance away, he walked for two or three hours and still couldn’t find his way back. It seemed that he was spinning in circles on the same forked path, and with each turn, the scenery along the road grew increasingly desolate.

In the end, he stepped on black mud formed by decaying leaves, and the forest in front of him turned into bare, decaying wood.

The fog was so thick that he couldn’t see the path ahead. The young Shi Jingzhi’s legs grew weak as he walked. He didn’t dare to stop or look back—whether it was an illusion or not, he always felt the sound of friction following him from behind.

The sky gradually darkened.

Finally, the young Shi Jingzhi couldn’t walk any further. He felt afraid and wronged, on the verge of giving up, so he turned around.

Behind him was a large cluster of writhing flowers.

Those flowers were as vibrant as blood, the same as the one he had just picked.

They bloomed one after another, with petals overlapping and forming a nearly perfect giant sphere. The sphere was as tall as a person, and below it were limb-like roots, supporting it as it moved slowly. In the mist, filled with shades of black, white, and gray, the flower ball shone with a dazzling red, occasionally pulsating like a freshly dissected heart.

The intoxicating floral fragrance spread, embracing like a warm, open hug.

At the first sight of the flower ball, at the moment when he smelled the fragrance, the young Shi Jingzhi was enchanted. He tottered towards the flower ball, getting closer and closer until he could see the animal corpses beneath the flowers.

His instinct screamed to escape, yet his body insisted on moving forward—

As if sensing the struggle of its prey, the fragrance of the flowers grew stronger. They were sweet and comforting, enveloping people in a drowsy state, making even the decaying flesh and bones appear lovely.

Three steps, two steps, one step.

Just before he embraced the flower ball, the mist instantly dissipated.

An extremely evil sword qi slashed through, slicing the flower petals into countless blood-like specks.

It was Yin Ci.

The flower ball was quite savvy. It suddenly let out a miserable scream, abandoning the tender flesh right in front of its mouth and slithered away, leaving behind a tangled mass of roots.

The sun had just set, and the stars were sparse in the sky, with the glow of twilight still lingering. The golden-red leaves returned to their places one by one, and the black mud underfoot turned back into soft fallen leaves.

The young Shi Jingzhi was extremely excited. Just as he turned around, he was startled by the increasingly intense killing intent from the other party.

Yin Ci’s whites of the eyes were still a crimson red, filled with surging blood. He lifted the young Shi Jingzhi’s collar and spoke in a dreamlike voice.

“Didn’t I tell you to wait for me?”

Not far away, the adult Shi Jingzhi trembled. It was the first time he had heard Yin Ci speak in this tone, and it was also the first time he had seen someone express such overwhelming killing intent with such gentleness.

Yin Ci didn’t come specifically to save him. This person had obviously suffered from an undeserved stimulus and was now in a semi-mad state where reason was lost.

The young Shi Jingzhi was also frightened and stunned. He could only stare blankly at Yin Ci, his eyes showing a hint of panic and confusion.

Yin Ci stood there, holding him up for a long time. His whole body trembled, and blood seemed to flow from his eyes. His dark eyes gradually became concealed by the color of blood.

At the same time, the sword qi around him didn’t stop. Its coverage grew larger and its speed faster, destroying everything in a nearly frantic manner.

“If you were going to betray me from the beginning, why did you nod in agreement? Ah, I understand now. So it was the will of heaven… You only came at this critical moment to accompany me to the edge of the cliff for the last time…”

Before Shi Jingzhi could react, Yin Ci’s tone became increasingly gentle.

Using only one hand, he held the young Shi Jingzhi suspended in mid-air, as if grasping a fragile bird. Yin Ci’s eyes were almost entirely blood-red, and his pupils were shattered.

“You came specifically to tell me that even the most innocent child has an inherent nature of ‘harming others’. The world is already so murky, and a human heart is useless… What a great answer. I like it very much.”

Yin Ci exerted some force with his fingers, each word dripping with blood, and his pupils were completely submerged in red. His voice became softer and softer, and the killing intent grew stronger.

“I should have learned from Yan Budu, taking lives and killing the innocent without hesitation. Perhaps I would be struck down by divine retribution—a thunderbolt that would cleanse me completely, bringing relief… Or maybe I should start with you.”

Instead of snapping Shi Jingzhi’s neck in one breath, he slowly closed his fingers, his hand trembling slightly.

The young Shi Jingzhi was being choked and couldn’t breathe.

He was naturally intelligent, but at this moment, he had the mindset of a child of only five or six years old. He couldn’t understand those words and sentences, and in his mind, there was only one simple thought—he had failed to keep his promise, and his benefactor was angry.

If this was someone else, he would probably have bitten down. But this was his benefactor who had saved his life, and he was the one who had wronged him first, so he couldn’t bite.

The young Shi Jingzhi scratched his chest hard, struggling to find the flower. He tightly grasped the wilting flower branch and passed it to Yin Ci’s arm, trying to give it to Yin Ci properly.

Despite it being increasingly difficult to breathe, he kept his gaze fixed on Yin Ci’s eyes, trying to make him understand his intentions.

This is the flower I’m giving you. It’s really beautiful.

I won’t run around like that again next time.

Don’t be sad.

Throughout, he didn’t scratch or pinch his own hand. The child’s eyes were pure, filled only with apology, concern, and a hint of instinctive panic.

Utterly pure.

Yin Ci’s hand pressed against his neck, but ultimately couldn’t tighten his grip.

After releasing Shi Jingzhi, for some reason, Yin Ci appeared even more desolate than before. He held the deformed wildflower, slumping onto a pile of fallen leaves.

The raging sword qi gradually dissipated, and Yin Ci exerted force with his hand. The flower was almost crushed, oozing a liquid that resembled blood.

His madness slowly faded, leaving behind only a mess and a sense of helplessness.

The young Shi Jingzhi believed that Yin Ci hadn’t calmed down yet.

He, like a grown-up, gently stroked Yin Ci’s head, and his hand naturally slid down the side of his face, tidying up the disheveled hair. Then, like he was afraid he hadn’t done enough, the young Shi Jingzhi opened his arms and cautiously hugged Yin Ci.

The last trace of evening glow faded away.

Yin Ci didn’t move or respond. The adult Shi Jingzhi stood by, silently watching this memory from over twenty years ago that was sealed away in dust.

Through the long passage of time, he finally managed to touch a fragment of Yin Ci’s past.

It was incredibly heavy and extremely cold.

He could only stand a step away, like a wandering soul, watching Yin Ci slowly close his eyes, tears stained with blood streaming down his face.

The young him knew nothing, and the present him couldn’t even touch a single strand of hair.

Having lived in this world for twenty-seven years, Shi Jingzhi had experienced bitterness, grievances, and melancholy, as well as resentment, hatred, and despair.

But never before had he felt such pure “sadness” filling his heart.

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Kinky Thoughts:

Ah… There are so many good chapters in this novel. This one made me quite emotional.

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