Author: 年终 / Nian Zhong
Translator: Kinky || https://kinkytranslations.com/
Note: These are mini extras that the author has written posted separately on JJ. She intermittently updates them, usually on Valentine’s Day and other holidays for her CPs. The translation will be updated when the author updates her blog. You can get updates when translations are updated in my Discord server. Below is a ton of dog food.
2025/29/8
Everyone’s Summer Cool-Down Routines
Another Qixi has come around, and our married couples are celebrating again.
Here are their little everyday tricks for beating the heat—
Ruan Xian lay on a swim ring, reading at his leisure.
The pool water was crystal-clear, a delightful blue. From this spot he could feel the cool air drifting out the door, perfect for sunbathing. After a short while, he set down his tablet and prepared for a nap.
Whoosh!
A jet of cold water splashed his chest, and Ruan Xian’s drowsiness vanished on the spot. He looked up and immediately saw the culprit—Tang Yibu stood under the umbrella, one hand holding a coconut-milk qing bu liang, the other a water gun.
“Just made it!” Tang Yibu boasted of his creation while attacking his Mr. Ruan with the water gun.
Ruan Xian glanced at the dessert, then at the very advanced-looking water gun. “Which one did you ‘just make’?”
“Both,” Tang Yibu said. “Come eat it, or it won’t be cold.”
Ruan Xian paddled lazily through the lukewarm water and stretched. “I put some mangoes in the fridge. If you want, add a bit.”
“—Mm!” Tang Yibu plunked the water gun and dessert on the table and bolted.
Just yesterday he had praised a certain mango cultivar and, together with Mr. Ruan, eaten every last one. Today Ruan Xian had somehow conjured up a whole new pile. It might well be some kind of magic.
In under three minutes, Tang Yibu came racing back with a heaping platter of sliced mango. He ran headlong into a water jet; the front of his shirt was soaked through.
Ruan Xian weighed the water gun in his hand. “Very nice.”
Tang looked at his wet shirt, then at the water gun. “Which is ‘very nice’?”
“Both,” Ruan Xian said with a laugh. “All right, get over here. If you don’t eat it now, it really won’t be cold.”
Tang Yibu happily agreed, popped a wedge of mango into his mouth, and gave Ruan Xian a mango-flavored kiss.
…In the end, they still didn’t eat anything cold.
2025/5/20
Everyone’s Birthday Cakes
Congrats to the couple from “Help” on moving into the Married Zone ☆(/ω＼)
This year’s 520 (May 20) mini-extra: couples celebrate their birthdays! It’s a perfect chance to compile everyone’s birthdays~
Ruan Xian: March 6th
Source: A normal birthday. (Jingzhe, 2019)
Cake: [Rainbow Gummy Cake]
Pale yellow cream topped with colorful gummy candies and fine gold leaf. The gummies are arranged with unusual precision, as pretty as an artwork, and the taste is first-rate.
Tang Yibu meticulously crafted it. The cake looks identical on the outside every year, but the filling is completely different each time and never repeats. Sometimes it’s delicious to the extreme, and sometimes… well, it’s rather “unique”.
※ Tang Yibu insists this is the best day of the year, better than Valentine’s Day, because his Mr. Ruan is perfect and even created the perfect NUL-00. How great is that!
Tang Yibu: October 24th
Source: The day NUL-00 went online. (Programmers’ Day)
Cake: [Coconut Milk Ice Cream Cake]
A coconut milk ice cream cake covered in rainbow sprinkles, with Tang Yibu’s age carefully spelled out in frosting. The whole cake is neat and square. Sweet, icy, and addictive to eat; Tang Yibu can devour several just on his own.
His birthday isn’t in hot weather, yet he still insists on feasting on ice cream cake at home where it is warm, fully enjoying the benefits of modern technology. Ruan Xian not only indulges him, he makes an extra one each time for his beloved.
※ The day he created Tang Yibu was the luckiest day of his life and one of the happiest. Let them indulge a little.
2025/2/16
What to Do When You’re Stuck Together
Suddenly stuck together—what should you do?
A belated Valentine’s Day mini joke (?) story has arrived! Time for some sweet, sticky fluff ☆
Tang Yibu lay with his head on the table, staring straight at their clasped hands.
“Nope, can’t figure it out.” He exhaled twice. “Mr. Ruan, I’ve hit a dead end.”
Early in the morning, they had woken up with their hands inexplicably stuck together. They immediately went to the lab, but no matter what they tried, they found nothing wrong. Their vitals were normal, skin showed no abnormal substances—but their palms just wouldn’t separate.
Luckily, they’d both slept in pajamas, or they wouldn’t have even been able to dress.
Ruan Xian was calm. “Don’t worry. Our bodies are fine. Let’s just check the data every two hours.”
“What if it never goes away…”
“It will.” Ruan Xian patted Tang Yibu’s head. “If it really doesn’t, I’ll cut off this hand, grow a new one, and then remove the part stuck to yours.”
Tang Yibu let out an “oh” in disapproval and stared at their linked hands.
Since they couldn’t move much, going out was off the table, and even doing research from home was tough. Tang Yibu laid on Ruan Xian’s hand, burying his face into his stomach, enjoying the lazy time. Ruan Xian read quietly with his free hand.
A sticky morning passed. They made do with frozen dumplings for lunch. Full and satisfied, Tang Yibu burrowed his face into Ruan Xian’s pajamas again. “Mr. Ruan, I’m so bored.”
Ruan Xian put down his book and raised an eyebrow.
When Tang Yibu said he was “bored”, it usually didn’t mean just that. For example—
“It’s a rare situation—we should do something special.”
Tang Yibu mumbled. “Otherwise, it’s no different from a regular day off.”
“Something special?”
Tang Yibu hugged Ruan Xian’s waist with his free arm and lifted his head. “Mr. Ruan, let’s dance.”
…That day, they danced for hours. From tango to slow dances, to random moves matching the music when they didn’t know what to do. Tang Yibu even made up his own steps and spun wildly, while Ruan Xian couldn’t help but smile unconsciously.
At midnight, just as Ruan was about to get a glass of water, their hands suddenly came apart. Caught off guard, Ruan slid forward—right into Tang Yibu’s embrace, who performed the most perfect spin-and-dip of the day.
Ruan Xian: “……”
Tang Yibu: “……”
Tang Yibu remained still and look thoughtfully at Ruan Xian’s now-free hand.
“In the end, I still don’t know how it worked,” he muttered in dissatisfaction.
Ruan Xian took a sip of the ice water. “All vitals are fine—we can take our time studying it.”
“What if we never replicate it again…”
“No.”
Ruan Xian patted Tang Yibu’s head again.
“If we can’t replicate it again, then we’ll just hold hands on our own and dance whenever we want.”
He offered his free hand that had just regained its freedom again, and Tang Yibu happily took it.
“You’re right.”
He hugged Ruan Xian’s waist. “Let’s keep dancing, Mr. Ruan.”
2024/8/13
Everyone’s Favorite Sports
A belated short story for Qixi Festival, with a little Olympic commemoration (*/ω＼*)
Tang Yibu: [Swimming]
Swimming is Tang Yibu’s favorite sport, especially swimming in the summer. The pool water warmed by the sun always reminds him of the time when he was just an electronic brain.
For this reason, Tang Yibu specifically had their home pool built in a sunny spot.
Just like in the past, Tang Yibu knows that his Mr. Ruan will always be nearby. He also knows that now they no longer have to talk through glass. As long as he leaves the pool, he can hug the other person… or pull him into the pool with him.
The best part is that after swimming under the scorching sun, Ruan Xian always carefully applies ointment to prevent sunburn on Tang Yibu, worrying about his skin’s health.
Every time, Tang Yibu takes the opportunity to give him a big hug.
Ruan Xian: [Indoor Running]
Even though he has nearly perfect recovery abilities, Ruan Xian still pays attention to daily exercise. To be honest, it’s not purely for health reasons. Having spent the first half of his life in a wheelchair, the freedom of movement always brings him extra satisfaction.
Even so, he still doesn’t like outdoor sports. Outdoor exercise always involves encountering strangers, and Ruan Xian has no interest in socializing during workouts. He set up a gym at home and only exercises indoors. To prevent the iron bead from eating the treadmill, he even reinforced the gym door.
But somehow, someone still manages to sneak in. Tang Yibu loves to lie in front of the treadmill, grinning as he watches Ruan Xian work out.
Every time, Ruan Xian can’t help but smile.
2024/6/1
Childhood Hairstyles
I suddenly wondered what everyone’s hairstyle was like when they were kids, so I’m sharing this on Children’s Day—
Consider it a little addition to the setting (〃ω〃)
Tang Yibu: [None]
As a child, he was purely an electronic brain, without a single strand of hair. But Tang Yibu was very curious about human hair, fascinated by how hair grows from the head with no length limit—he thought it was super cool.
Ruan Xian: [No Distinct Hairstyle, Just Natural]
His family neglected to take care of him, so he didn’t get regular haircuts, and his hair grew a bit long. Since he cut his own hair, the ends were very rough. Ruan Xian himself didn’t care much about it and never proactively trimmed it.
2024/5/20
Everyone’s Favorite Fruits
This year’s Married Couple Day on 520* has arrived, so let’s write about everyone’s favorite fruits ☆
*The number 520 when pronounced in Chinese is very similar to [wǒ ài nǐ] (我爱你) I love you. Due to this, it has become a day in China called “Internet Valentine’s Day”.
Congratulations to the couple from [Full Server First Kill] for entering the happy married zone (*/ω＼*)
Tang Yibu: [Persimmon]
In Tang Yibu’s mind, persimmon cakes and “love” had a peculiar connection. Fortunately, persimmon cakes lasted much longer than fresh persimmons, and the cold storage room was well-stocked year-round.
Tang Yibu tried to make more dishes with persimmons, such as persimmon candy, persimmon drinks, and persimmon jam, but they all ended in miserable failure—persimmons were a peculiar fruit. His creations weren’t inedible, but they always lacked something in taste.
During the persimmon harvest season, Tang Yibu once again started experimenting with persimmons until Ruan Xian put down two cups of fresh persimmon smoothies.
“We have persimmon cakes all year round, and when the season comes, we can also enjoy fresh persimmons. This is the best way to eat them,” Ruan Xian said. “Maybe they don’t need to be like other fruits.”
※ Mr. Ruan is always right, Tang Yibu thought as he happily sipped his persimmon smoothie.
Ruan Xian: [Coconut]
Ruan Xian didn’t have a particular preference for fruits. When he was still weak, he could only eat fruit products that were similar to purees. These had no texture, only slight flavor differences, often artificially flavored. To Ruan Xian, fruit was simply a flavor variation, not something he could develop a special fondness for.
However, there was one exception—coconut.
He could drink coconut water just like any other normal person. Coconut water was theoretically sterile, nutrient-rich, with a mild sweetness. Strangely, it gave him a sense of “normalcy”.
Coincidentally, the small electronic brain soaked in cooling liquid also resembled a coconut. It too gave him a faint sense of “normalcy”, and being with it, he could almost feel like he was “living”.
※ To him, the taste symbolizes “uniqueness”, Ruan Xian thought.
~~~
During the apocalypse, Tang Yibu wasn’t particularly interested in coconuts—they lacked sweetness, had soft flesh, were bland, and not as convenient to eat. On top of that, coconut water didn’t have the same kick as carbonated drinks.
After the world returned to order, the coconuts in the fridge were only consumed by Ruan Xian. Noticing this, Ruan Xian specially dug out the coconut meat to make coconut milk ice cream, coconut flakes, and baked coconut chips.
From then on, the coconuts at home began to disappear at an astonishing speed. The day after Ruan Xian made coconut milk ice cream, Tang Yibu would finish it off. Like persimmon cakes, coconuts became one of the household’s staple fruits.
One hot summer day.
Under the sunshade, by the family pool, Tang Yibu was peeling a coconut. With a slight force of his fingers, he easily pried open the coconut shell. The coconut juice was poured into a large glass jug, and the coconut meat was scooped out with a spoon and piled into a bowl.
Footsteps approached from behind, and Tang Yibu proudly handed over the jug and bowl, exchanging them for the coconut milk ice cream that Ruan Xian had just made, along with a coconut-scented kiss.
2024/2/14
Couple’s Pajama Party
Valentine’s Day, of course, calls for a grand pajama reveal (?
And favorite intimate acts (???
~Tang Yibu~
[None] Prefers not to wear clothes when sleeping at home. He has never had the habit of wearing clothes since he was a child (?). Truly a naked sleeper!
※ “A blanket, a sheet, and Mr. Ruan are enough,” Tang Yibu said seriously.
~Ruan Xian~
[Gray tie-waist long robe] worn regularly at home and straight to sleep. The material is soft and slippery, making it very easy to untie.
[Cotton boxer briefs] in white, pure cotton, from a very expensive brand, bought in bulk.
※ Fully respects his lover’s preference for sleeping naked, with no intention to educate.
Surprisingly, he enjoys hugs. It’s a pity Tang Yibu’s sleeping posture is terrible. Even if not embraced, Tang Yibu would clutch the corner of Ruan Xian’s robe tightly.
Sometimes Mr. Tang clutches so tightly and sleeps so deeply that they might both end up naked by morning.
“Actually, ‘easy to untie’ prevents me from being strangled awake in the middle of the night,” Mr. Ruan unromantically said afterward.
2024/1/1
Magical Summoning Abilities
New Year’s Mysterious Magic☆ Couple Summoning Technique~10 Seconds Guaranteed~ The effect is magical, comparable to spatial teleportation!
Ruan Xian’s exclusive magic: Pretend to fall asleep on the workbench as night falls.
Magic effect: Tang Yibu steps over quietly, first buries his head in his embrace, then carries him back to the bedroom.
※ Sometimes, Tang Yibu secretly kisses his neck.
Tang Yibu’s exclusive magic: Look pitifully in a certain direction; the more melancholic the expression, the better.
Magic effect: Mr. Ruan will automatically appear from that direction.
※ Never fails!
2023/10/31
Got A Pumpkin
~Ruan Xian’s Pumpkin~
Tang Yibu had always been enthusiastic about various festivals. So, Ruan Xian specially made 26 pumpkin-flavored candies with lettered labels and hid them all around the room.
After all, Tang Yibu always hid things in various corners of the house. He would probably like this game.
Indeed, Tang Yibu enjoyed the game. He ran around the house, jumping up and down all afternoon. He found twenty-five candies before dark.
“There’s no ‘N’.” He sat dejectedly on the couch, counting the pumpkin-wrapped candies. “It’s impossible. I know Mr. Ruan so well… I should be able to guess all the candy hiding places…”
Ruan Xian smiled, patting Tang Yibu’s shoulder, slightly opening his mouth. The candy labeled “N” lay on his tongue.
Joyfully, Tang Yibu took it, sealing the moment with a kiss.
※ “N for NUL-00”
~Tang Yibu’s Pumpkin~
Tang Yibu was always in charge of the home garden. Ruan Xian wasn’t particularly interested in gardening and preferred to handle more of the indoor chores. This meant that he sometimes had to deal with various “specialties” Tang Yibu brought in—bugs in various stages of growth, beautiful flowers, oddly shaped radishes, and the like.
Today, Ruan Xian found a large orange shadow at the door.
“I want to give you a pumpkin carriage!” Tang Yibu announced.
Ruan Xian: “Why are you blocking the door?”
“A pumpkin carriage symbolizes a magically wonderful new life.”
“Why are you blocking the door?”
Tang Yibu: “I underestimated the complexities of the fruit’s growth…”
Ruan Xian jumped out of the window and silently gazed at the pumpkin that almost filled the yard.
“Thank you for the pumpkin castle,” he said. “It’s a pity, my life is already as magical.”※ They ate pumpkin for a month.
2023/10/04
Late Mid-Autumn Festival? National Day? Short joke~(*/ω＼*)
Everyone’s Belongings
~Ruan Xian’s personal items~
◆ A small knife: Made of special materials, it can pass through security checks. It can be used to slit someone’s throat or peel fruit.
※ Primarily used for peeling fruit, and then using the tip to pick and feed someone the fruit flesh.
◆ A pencil: Some ideas need to be written down promptly to expand upon.
※ Especially during deep infiltrations into enemy territory, to adjust combat strategies.
◆ A chocolate peanut-flavored energy bar: So sweet that it can make one feel sick but can replenish energy in crucial moments. Honestly, it’s never been used for this purpose.
※ Most of the time, it ends up in someone’s mouth and turns into sweet kisses.
~Tang Yibu’s personal items~
◆ A sturdy small cloth bag: Occasionally picks up some rare parts from crime scenes (?) to bring back and give π a surprise treat.
※ This habit has left countless question marks for those investigating afterward.
◆ A bright yellow plastic whistle: A small souvenir bought during the last trip with Mr. Ruan. It’s very cheap, but Tang Yibu loves it. After the next trip, it might be replaced with another trinket.
※ “Don’t blow it in the middle of the night,” Ruan Xian commented ominously.
◆ A palm-sized persimmon-shaped sticky note: Ruan Xian sometimes needs to write ideas on paper, and these can be useful in certain situations. Tang Yibu only buys this design and never changes.
※ He occasionally jots down (what he believes to be) brilliant love notes and sticks them in random corners of the house—a great surprise attack!
2023/08/22
Qixi Scheduled! Perfect to rate everyone’s culinary skills~☆
~Tang Yibu’s Culinary Skills~
Overall rating: ★★★★☆
Strengths: Never underestimate this strong AI’s obsession with food. If it needs to be cooked, it can do it.
Weaknesses: Hates preparing ingredients, hates cleaning the stovetop and sink, hates washing pots and dishes… even dislikes dishwashers.
※ Ruan Xian isn’t surprised. “We are adding a new kitchen-cleaning feature to π.”
~Ruan Xian’s Cooking Skills~
Overall rating: ★★★★☆
Strengths: With the excellent performance of the S-type Prototype and a smart brain, he can replicate any taste.
Weaknesses: Lacks a personal taste preference, resulting in dishes that lack soul.
※ “Indeed,” Tang Yibu affirms. “It doesn’t matter if they lack a soul. I have one, and that’s enough.”
2023/05/30
Indulging in “Tears of the Kingdom” led to postponement of the mini… A small corner of everyone’s daily life!
Ruan Xian’s modified car broke down.
The car was a gift from Tang Yibu, painted in a rich deep yellow. Machines always have various malfunctions, and strictly speaking, this wasn’t the car’s fault this time—they drove it through gunfire, and it endured more than a sedan should.
Now it lay pathetically in the garage, nearly resembling a pile of scrap metal. Tang Yibu circled around it, seemingly trying to reverse time through this inexplicable ritual.
“I won’t throw away the gift you gave me. We can make a display case for it,” Ruan Xian comforted him.
Tang Yibu stopped circling. “It can still be fixed.”
Indeed, it could be. But with damage to this extent, it would be more troublesome to fix it than to make a new one. Artificial intelligence always pursues efficiency, and Tang Yibu’s statement seemed… not quite like him.
Ruan Xian didn’t respond and just watched Tang Yibu tinkering with the car parts.
“The components are fine; reconfiguring the alloy is a bit tricky. We can reinforce its defenses, especially since the shell needs a major overhaul,” Tang Yibu said as he pried open the deformed hood and carefully examined the engine. “This time I’ll arm it with thermal weapons. We’ll need to rethink security checks…”
“It can definitely be fixed,” Tang Yibu announced with open arms.
His expression looked very much like a doctor facing a severely injured family member.
“… Are you worried that one day I’ll put you in a display case?” Ruan Xian quipped.
Still in his “grand declaration” pose, Tang Yibu swiveled his eyes. “No, how could that be? I won’t have any malfunctions. I self-check more than four times a day, and my testing algorithm is optimized every month. Even if something were to happen, I know you wouldn’t treat me like that… would you?”
“You guess?”
“Won’t.”
“You’re right, I definitely won’t,” Ruan Xian said. “Leave the car be.”
“But if one day, I mean if, I suffered such damage… would you…”
Ruan Xian raised an eyebrow. “There’s no such ‘if’. If you were damaged to this extent, there wouldn’t be any ‘me’ left. By then, our corpses would be displayed together.”
Ruan Xian’s tone was very certain, and Tang Yibu slowly closed his mouth.
Two days later, Ruan Xian saw the car in the garage again.
Tang Yibu had fixed it. It looked exactly the same as before, except for the intricate inlay pattern on the hood, under which Ruan Xian suspected there was a laser gun. Additionally, a striking “prohibition” sticker was added to the window—
[NO SHOWCASE]
2023/02/15
A belated Valentine’s Day mini: Everyone’s game preference.
~Tang Yibu’s Gaming Preferences~
Occupation Choice: DPS, melee-type classes.
Gaming Tendency: Doesn’t require a tank; he solves everything through calculations. Prefers PVP over PVE, consistently ranks first in PVP leaderboards. Has received invitations from professional teams but declined them all.
Teaming Tendencies: Dislikes teaming up with anyone other than Ruan Xian, sometimes hacks the game to modify restrictions.
※When Ruan Xian isn’t around, he’ll secretly take control of a Boss to play tricks on unsuspecting players.
~Ruan Xian’s Gaming Preferences~
Occupation Choice: Healer, particularly pure healing classes.
Gaming Tendency: Even when facing the game, he meticulously formulates strategies (only including himself and Tang Yibu). Doesn’t have a clear preference for PVE or PVP, completely ignores players from the same camp.
Teaming Tendencies: Has no clear preference for teaming, intensely dislikes noisy players or troublesome newbies. Does not follow any commands, does his own thing, and has no interest in in-game interpersonal relationships.
※When he has to leave, he’ll arrange for the Iron Bead to play on his behalf, resulting in inconsistent skill levels.
2022/08/05
Tanabata, Tanabata, Everyone’s Outfit Special Edition~
~At home~
Tang Yibu:
[Large bright yellow T-shirt] The color is bright, giving a dazzling sense of existence. When someone is running around in it, it looks like a big happy bee.
[White half-pants] Also large, with an elastic waistband that is not tightened at all.
[Black slippers] Often appear on different floors. What is this all about?
※”Don’t run around with one foot bare,” Ruan Xian said.
Ruan Xian:
[Gray lace-up long nightgown] Probably made from the most comfortable fabric in the world. It’s easy to untie. Repeating it again. It’s very easy to untie.
※”But you clearly walk around barefoot.” Tang Yibu was aggrieved. Maybe this was the benefit of a strong recovery system.
~Outside~
Tang Yibu:
[Relatively low-key white T-shirt with jacket] The T-shirt is always clean, and there may be a deadly weapon hidden in the jacket?
[Sweatpants that can be seen everywhere] The drape is very good, and it stacks slightly at the ankles. It’s not eye-catching and convenient to move in to act anytime, anywhere.
[Wear-resistant sneakers] Designed by Professor Ruan himself, the materials have been specially strengthened so that they will not be worn out by vigorous movement.
※Ruan Xian specially added a lot of gold elements to the sneakers.
Ruan Xian:
[Gray shirt] Not really special, but when someone wears it, it gives off an elite aura.
[White trousers] I don’t know how but the white trousers are always spotless.
[Casual leather shoes] The ankle lines are very beautiful.
※The two of them were clearly unrelated, but Tang Yibu felt the unique aura of the Institute uniform from it, making it impossible for him to look away.
2022/02/13
Valentine’s Day Album, Inexplicable Nightmare Feature ✨
Tang Yibu had the ability to dream, but he wasn’t satisfied.
His dreams were more animal-like than human, and they weren’t too treacherous or bizarre—after all, there was limited time when making NUL-00, so Ruan Xian didn’t get the chance to elaborate on the ability to “dream”. Now they finally had time, so Tang Yibu gave himself a Valentine’s Day gift.
Usually, during the holidays, the two of them would keep the gifts they want to give strictly confidential. This time, Tang Yibu took the initiative to make the request, which surprised Ruan Xian.
“I can help you upgrade the programs related to ‘Dreamland’, but…”
“I understand that ‘human dreams are irrational and illogical’, while my dreams are relatively harmless. Upgrading might do more harm than good.” Tang Yibu sat straight, showing just the right amount of supplicating expression. “Mr. Ruan, I don’t want to become human. I just want to experience how you feel—so that I can get to know you better.”
Ruan Xian was always helpless against this type of behavior.
……
The night after the upgrade, Tang Yibu watched several horror movies with interest. He then took a hot bath for an hour, got into bed, hugged Ruan Xian tightly, and looked like he was going out on an adventure.
Ruan Xian: “…Some dreams may not be the same as you imagined.”
Tang Yibu looked serious. “Whether it’s a beautiful dream or a nightmare, I’m fully prepared.”
In the early hours of the morning, Ruan Xian was awakened by a loud noise. He turned on the night light and opened his eyes in a daze—Tang Yibu had rolled off the bed and was lying stiff as a wooden board on the ground. The iron bead that was sleeping nearby was startled and began circling around him. Tang Yibu didn’t respond to it and kept staring at the ceiling wwith a thoughtful expression on his face.
Ruan Xian yawned and stretched out a hand to him. “Well, ‘fully prepared’?”
Tang Yibu grabbed his hand and crawled back to bed.
“My understanding of ‘no logic’ isn’t thorough enough,” he hugged Ruan Xian tightly as he muttered bitterly. “It’s terrible.”
“What did you dream of?”
“Sweet potatoes all over the world had disappeared, and even its DNA couldn’t be recovered. You made a special appearance and gave a speech at the sweet potato’s funeral…”
“……”
“Actually, I plan to give you a brand-new modified car tomorrow.” Tang Yibu continued to grumble. “Do you like sweet potato yellow?”
Ruan Xian couldn’t hold back after that and laughed. “Yes.”
*Clarity: Remember, sweet potatoes is Tang Yibu’s favorite food that he mentioned way, way back in arc 1.
2022/02/01
Spring Festival Special, Everyone’s Specialty Dishes♪
Once again, I wish you all a wonderful Year of the Tiger–! 🎉
~Ruan Xian’s Specialty~
Soft-boiled eggs: The coagulation degree is controlled quite brilliantly, so that even a machine can’t do it as accurately. It can be eaten with salt or hot sauce. The egg white is soft and smooth, and the yolk is mellow, so people can’t stop eating it. This is a fixed breakfast recipe that the two of them will eat four of every day.
Tang Yibu once said that he could eat ten a day, but Mr. Ruan rejected his request on the grounds of a “healthy diet”.
※”You used to secretly eat candy yourself!” Mr. Tang felt wronged for two seconds until his attention was drawn away by persimmons.
Scallion oil noodles: Scallion oil is mixed with smooth and tough fine noodles, and then served with a little shredded meat. Ruan Xian originally liked this dish very much. Since it has memories of the doomsday, the taste has a bit more special meaning.
※Tang Yibu’s taste is comparable to his own, but the android will always add more sugar.
~Tang Yibu’s specialty~
Bags of gummy candy: Heart-shaped gummy candy with various flavors. If you eat two together, there will be a wonderful change in taste. It is Ruan Xian’s favorite snack at work. Most of them have a variety of fresh fruit flavors, and occasionally the wonderful flavors of “baked sweet potato”, “persimmons”, or “soy milk”. Every time the two of them go out on a mission, Ruan Xian always carries a small bag.
※Ruan Xian is very satisfied because they can have kisses in various flavors.
Super Deluxe Hotdog: The recipe comes from the most popular hotdog shop. From bread to fillings, Tang Yibu completely reproduced this hotdog and added a lot of his favorite side dishes. Because he is not willing to give up any side dishes, the finished product is always too large.
※Half for one person, just right for dinner.
2021/11/06
Halloween Extra 🎃
Tang Yibu and Ruan Xian had never missed Halloween.
In order to add some freshness, they refused to discuss dressing up in advance, so that the two of them would only know each other’s costumes before they set off. This year, Ruan Xian put on a wizard’s cloak and then waited at the door… for a black cat.
The black cat squatted at the doorway. Its fur was shiny and smooth, and its golden eyes gleamed happily. It had a warm orange collar around its neck with a tag that was engraved with [NUL-00-01].
“Mr. Ruan, I really like this perspective. I haven’t looked up at you for a long time.” The black cat circled Ruan Xian’s ankle as it spoke happily. “Can you hug me?”
“What a terrific costume.” Ruan Xian picked up the black cat and put it on his shoulder. The cat was soft to the touch, and its fur was warm.
Tang Yibu rubbed against Ruan Xian’s face. “Surprise, right? I’ve been developing it for a long time to make sure the nervous system is connected.”
Ruan Xian glanced at the living room. Tang Yibu’s body was lying on the sofa, looking like he was taking a nap. He smiled and shook his head while scratching the cat’s chin.
It didn’t take long for Ruan Xian to know Tang Yibu’s purpose…
In the darkness, the black cat jumped on the string of lights in a dignified manner and ran lightly, causing light to flash everywhere. These cheap lights could only be manipulated at close range. They obediently formed a torrent of lights, swirling together into a vortex of lights and shadows.
The “haunted” light path had obviously been carefully calculated. Amidst the burst of awe, Tang Yibu snuck back quietly and climbed onto Ruan Xian’s shoulder. The black cat said nothing and curled its tail high while making a face full of pride.
Unfortunately, after a few seconds, this pride changed. Without him, there were too many Halloween-limited foods on the street. Tang Yibu clenched his lover’s shoulders tightly, stretching out and retracting the tip of his claws, making Ruan Xian feel a little itchy.
“I haven’t perfected my sense of smell and taste,” Tang Yibu murmured in frustration.
“What about the sense of touch?”
“It’s perfect.”
“That’s enough.” Ruan Xian picked up the black cat and kissed it on the tip of its nose. He then pulled his cloak over his shoulders and held the cat in his arms.
He wrapped the other party up in his own heat, just like a long time ago.
2021/08/14
How can we miss the Qixi Festival! Write about everyone in the eyes of a passersby (?
@An agency investigator/male/35 years old
“Laozi can’t really do this surveillance job anymore. Yes, yes, I know those two boys are suspicious, but I have been monitoring them for three years. If they are really related to the ‘Red Ghost’, then they have to reveal something, right? But everything is airtight. If it weren’t for our technology, I suspect that they know they’re being followed.”
“While I’m chasing after people’s asses as they run around, they’re having a good time, while my wife is having a cold war with me. What? Travel at the company’s expense? Fuck no! Those young people are traveling up mountains and across rivers while I’m fucking worried nearby for fear of accidentally losing them. Don’t you know? Those two would travel all over the world every day. God knows which country they would go to all of a sudden.”
“If you want me to tell you they have a fixed itinerary, they really don’t. Not to mention, I have studied for two years and found a route—once they arrive at a specific date, they will transfer to several cities in the country, then go to foreign cities on the corresponding dates. The cities on this route have been increasing, but the pattern is the same.”
“Breakthrough? Ha, I was so excited at the time, I specially adjusted the most advanced AI to analyze it. The AI spent all its energy and came up with a conclusion for me that day.”
“They go around the world leisurely in date order to spend Valentine’s Day everywhere!!!”
“No, it’s not the internationally common one. It’s a traditional festival unique to various places. The whole thing was so outrageous that I was scolded badly by my boss. Anyway, at the end of the year, I said I’m applying for a transfer. Otherwise, if I have to spend my holiday following people all year round, it’ll be over when I get home… Don’t persuade laozi. No matter how much money you’re offering, I won’t do it! Not doing it!”
“Wait, there’s another information access prompt. Let me see…”
“…Fuck, those two boys are searching for a holiday hotel again!”
2021/05/31
Simple and trivial daily life, everyone’s schedule ♪
~Ruan Xian’s Schedule~
08:00-09:00 Checked π’s physical condition, prepared breakfast, and then had a meal with his lover.
09:00-12:00 Hugged Tang Yibu while reading a book. At 12:00 sharp, Tang Yibu would break free and randomly choose a chef’s set meal to make.
12:00-16:00 The two analyzed intelligence and anomalies together and selected the criminals to deal with.
16:00-20:00 Hunting criminals with Tang Yibu. He passed by a small shop with good reviews and stopped in for dinner. Tang Yibu liked the stir-fried pork in the shop very much. Ruan Xian silently wrote down the taste and decided to go back and analyze the recipe with him.
20:00-00:00 The two of them didn’t wash their bloody clothes. They went directly to the kitchen to try the dishes as soon as possible. It took three tries for them to finally crack the recipe. Tang Yibu was quite happy and memorized it carefully in his mind. The two of them cleaned off their bloodstains, which took more than three hours.
~Tang Yibu’s Schedule~
08:00-09:00 While eating breakfast, he would make some investments and accumulate wealth.
09:00-12:00 Was hugged by Ruan Xian while he browsed for the latest information, and at the same time had to complete the important matter of “deciding the content of lunch”. It was really the most relaxing and hardest (?) part of the day.
12:00-16:00 Selected which criminals to deal with. After deciding on the list, Tang Yibu would throw a die in his head and choose one of them.
16:00-20:00 Hunting criminals with Ruan Xian. Ruan Xian paid attention to a small restaurant nearby. The taste of the stir-fried pork was amazing. Tang Yibu added three bowls of rice. The bloodstains on his cuffs were almost seen by the shopkeeper.
20:00-00:00 Ruan Xian specially wrote down the taste of the stir-fried pork. The two of them squeezed in front of the wok, concentrating on trying to replicate the recipe. After being full food and drink, Tang Yibu decided to be “full of food and drink” again. Not to mention the pleasure of physical entanglement, he loved the touch and heat of Ruan Xian’s very much, so he would always be uneasy if he didn’t touch it for a few hours.
“The chili they use is not good enough. I want to eat a more fragrant taste.”
“Okay. Yibu, if you don’t go out tomorrow, let’s change the chili together.”
2021/02/14
Valentine’s Day Chocolate Special 🍫
[New chocolate set (?) by famous chef x 1]
Purchaser(?): Ruan Xian
Item description:
Tang Yibu’s second favorite chef launched a new creation, and a certain Mr. Ruan quickly ordered a set.
The chocoate was mixed with a cherry filling, made by Ruan Xian himself. Tang Yibu ate it in one bite.
His favorite chef would always be his Mr. Ruan.
[Chocolate printed NUL-00 model × 1]
Producer: Tang Yibu
Item description:
A 1:1 size NUL-00 model made strictly according to the size, made of pure chocolate with no added sugar or milk.
After Ruan Xian picked up the fork, Tang Yibu suddenly felt that something was wrong, and his expression changed from triumph to horror. Ruan Xian laughed for a long time and finally made a fresh-preservation container to keep the chocolate version of NUL-00 forever.
As compensation, Tang Yibu gave half the chocolate made by the chef to his lover.
2020/11/11
No holiday, but I wrote a special episode that I thought of. Sleeping together. _(:D”∠)_
One thunderstorm night, Ruan Xian was awakened by the sound of thunder outside the window. He frowned and rolled over. The tip of his nose almost hit a pair of feet.
The feet were white and clean, the soles were against the head of the bed, and the pillow was kicked aside. Ruan Xian propped himself up and found Tang Yibu’s head at the end of the bed—he had turned 180° by himself. His head and feet had swapped places while he slept soundly. God knew how this happened.
When the two first met, this guy slept better than anyone else, but now he was showing his true colors. Ruan Xian sighed, put Tang Yibu’s pillow back under his head, and pulled the blanket again.
As a result, Ruan Xian had just planned to lie back, when the tugging of his pajamas suddenly increased. He touched the corner of his clothes and found a warm hand—Tang Yibu was still sleeping soundly, but his right hand was clenched to the corner of Ruan Xian’s pajamas tightly, with red marks on his fingers from clenching for too long.
Ruan Xian was silent for a moment, then he moved his pillow to the end of the bed and lay down. Tang Yibu smacked his lips, abandoned the pillow again, and buried himself into Ruan Xian’s neck, still without letting go of his grip.
‘I have to buy looser pajamas tomorrow,’ Ruan Xian thought silently.
2020/09/26
Late Tanabata Extra, Pet Special☆
In the early morning, Ruan Xian was awakened by a loud banging noise. He walked downstairs and quickly found Tang Yibu covered in jam.
“π overturned the oil can last night, and the cleaning robot didn’t clean it up. I didn’t pay attention and slipped.” Tang Yibu was laying on the ground sadly with a bottle of jam overturned on his body. He didn’t seem to have any plans for getting up. “I just wanted to make some toast and jam—”
“π, come here.” Ruan Xian cleared his throat.
Unlike before, the iron bead remained motionless. Ruan Xian raised his eyebrows and glanced at Tang Yibu on the ground.
“It ate the cleaning robot again.” Tang Yibu licked the jam off his finger.
“That’s the third one. π, come here. I know you’re under the sofa.”
Ten seconds later, the iron bead stretched out its thin legs and tremblingly moved closer. “Gwah gwah…”
“To it, those things look like pies running on the ground,” Tang Yibu translated. “The core of the cleaning robot is warm, and its shell is crispy, so it’s very delicious… I can also relate. I just dreamed of toast and jam…”
“Gwah! Gwah gwah gwah gwah!”
“It asks why I can steal jam at 5 AM but it can’t steal the cleaning robot at 3 AM.” Tang Yibu finished translating and fell into contemplation, as if he were completely overwhelmed by this question.
“It’s okay if you don’t answer. You can get up from the ground first.” Ruan Xian was dumbfounded. He pulled Tang Yibu up by the wrist. The latter was so heavy that it made Ruan Xian’s center of gravity unstable, and he fell on Tang Yibu, failing to escape the fate of being covered with jam.
“Mr. Ruan, I think it should be given a reasonable prey.” Tang Yibu took advantage of the situation to circle Ruan Xian’s waist. “Like I could prey on jam bread.”
“…Your predation isn’t very successful.” Ruan Xian wiped the jam from his face and didn’t even try to get up again. Well, I’ll think of a way.”
A few days later, late at night, in a flash of cold light, a round body caught up with the cleaning robot and devoured it. It crunched on its abdomen. After the meal, the iron bead belched contentedly, got into its own exclusive car—a modified cleaning robot with a bowl-shaped seat—and began to patrol all directions.
Naturally they could afford to buy a cleaning robot every day, Ruan Xian thought, upstairs, as he adjusted his posture in Tang Yibu’s arms.
After the pleasant “race” with the iron bead, the two of them spent a few hours cleaning up. Of course, those were all afterthoughts.
2020/05/20
Bathroom Special (.･ω･｡)ﾉ♡
Tang Yibu missed the weekly inspection more than ten years ago.
The coolant in NUL-00 was replaced once a week. When replacing, Ruan Xian would take out its small cybernetic brain, dry the residual liquid with warm air, and then wipe it carefully with a special soft cloth. When the cybernetic brain was dry, Mr. Ruan would patiently check every inch of the surface.
At that time, Tang Yibu had no real sense of touch, but he could still perceive temperature and humidity from his shell. Being treated carefully by Mr. Ruan, he always had a wonderful sense of satisfaction.
It was a pity that more than ten years later, his head was bigger than Ruan Xian, and it was impossible to be held in the palm of his hand and blown dry. Tang Yibu thought deeply for a moment, and set up a large dryer for himself, just big enough for one person to stand inside.
The dryer was warm and dry. Tang Yibu was quite satisfied and planned to try it out after taking a shower.
After taking a shower on the first day, he kissed Ruan Xian on the neck, and the two went straight to the bedroom. After taking a shower the next day, Ruan Xian squeezed his lips, and the two stumbled back into the bedroom. Day three…
A week later, Ruan Xian found that there was a new piece of equipment in the kitchen, which was full of his favorite sausages and bacon.
“The dryer,” Tang Yibu explained. “Mr. Ruan, do you still want to eat dried meats? I’ll bake it together.”
Tang Yibu thought it was fine if he didn’t need it.
After all, Ruan Xian’s body temperature was better.
2020/02/14
Valentine’s Day for everyone ❤
It was Valentine’s Day in the computer room more than ten years ago. NUL-00 projected the entire room in pink.
“In this festival, humans seem to be particularly eager for companionship,” it said confidently. “Since you have no one to accompany you, I can accompany you. Do you like this kind of holiday decoration?”
Ruan Xian didn’t want to correct its strange cognition. “I like it.”
More than ten years later, Valentine’s Day. Ruan Xian found that the walls of their home were all painted pink by Tang Yibu.
“I like it very much,” Ruan Xian said. This time, he was serious.
They kept the paint like this until the next Valentine’s Day.
<<< || Table of Contents || >>>
Kinky Translations 
Yey! Thanks
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thanks for the dog food… i feel full even before dinner
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so cute 😭 thank u for translating the extras too! makes me feel warm because I know they’re finally able to live their best lives ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´ω`ﾟ)ﾟ｡
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Thank you!
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