When My Lover Gets Old, I Will Still Be as Beautiful as a Flower || When You’re Older

Author: 公子于歌 / Gong Zi Yu Ge

Translator: Kinky || https://kinkytranslations.com/


Note: This is not part of the novel Your Rival in Love Gets Prettier Every Day but from the author’s other work <Don’t Be Coquettish>. I have decided to translate the parts that’s related only to <When You’re Older>, the movie adapted from this story that Shen Jintai acts in, because I really like the story. You know the synopsis and you know how it ends so prepare for dog abuse if you continue reading.


A lifetime is not enough; I want to love you for a few more lifetimes.

Chapter 1

Luo Wensheng disappeared. When he went out in the morning, everything was fine, except it was rare for the two to hug, but as soon as he left, he never came back. He was getting older. His legs and feet were already inconvenient, and he was also suffering from illnesses. With his old age, Yu Nuo was afraid that Luo Wensheng would encounter an accident, so he asked everyone to help search for him. Still, despite searching every possible location, no traces could be found.

Ultimately, Yu Nuo called the police who told him that based on their experience, Luo Wensheng probably ran away from home.

“Who is he to you?” The policeman asked.

Yu Nuo said: “My lover.”

The policeman was stunned, obviously surprise by their age difference.

Yu Nuo said: “I have immortality disease.”

Realization then dawned on the policeman. Immortality disease was an odd disease. There have been more than a dozen cases in the country. People who suffer form this disease will suddenly stop growing old, freezing at the age when they first contract it. Doctors could not find a reasonable explanation and could not treat it. Many, who hope to be young, and immortal have spent insurmountable amount of money to contract it, but to no avail.

When Yu Nuo was diagnosed with this disease, he had been with Luo Wensheng for three years. At that time, their affection was strong, so naturally they were reluctant to separate. More than forty years have passed, and they were both now sixty-seven years old. Though their age were nearly the same, one was a man that looked like he was in his sixties, while the other maintained their youthful appearance of someone in their twenties. He had jet black hair, rosy lips, and a perfect row of white teeth. No matter how he dressed, he couldn’t deceive the eyes of others as his eyes were clear and his skin was firm and fair.

Truthfully, in the past few years, the relationship between the two has not been as close as before. Occasionally, when they look at each other, Luo Wensheng would unconsciously turn his head, showing hints of embarrassment on his face.

When they were out, outsiders would always think they were grandfather and grandson.

Luo Wensheng was a teacher. His hair had gray early and he suffered from an illness the year before as he began to forget things. Despite his strong physique that he maintained since he was young, the illness was pervasive that it made his straight back bent. However, he was stubborn and had picked up all the household chores, refusing to let Yu Nuo do a single thing house related. After retirement, he would get up every morning to do morning exercises. He even set alarms on his phone to remind him to take his medication so he would not miss a single pill. He said he would stay with Yu Nuo for at least another 20 years, and he planned to do so.

On the morning of his disappearance, he had swept away the fallen leaves on their porch early in the morning, then went out and bought him pickle cabbage steamed stuff buns and sweet soybean milk. Such a person left, without saying a word.

Yu Nuo had search all over the country and after looking for over half a month, he finally found Luo Wensheng’s hometown. Luo Wensheng owned a house here, which was about to be demolished. In such a depilated state, the home was not fit for an old person to live in. Yu Nuo had peered in through the window, thinking if he should try to open the door when he saw Luo Wensheng falling to the ground, crashing through a broken glass window.

Yu Nuo kicked open the window and jumped in, his movement slightly mechanical, as he shouted: “Luo Wensheng!”

He helped Luo Wensheng up who laid still and motionless. His lips were dry and chapped. Yu Nuo trembled as he touched Luo Wensheng’s wrinkled face, which was as warm as the tears he was shedding.

Luo Wensheng opened his eyes when he heard the sounds and when he did, laughed loudly, showing off the crevices of the wrinkles on his smiling face: “Did I trick you?”

Yu Nuo was extremely angry and put him down. Luo Wensheng let out a “ouch” as he hit the ground causing Yu Nuo to quickly help him up again and said: “You deserve it, pretending to be dead.”

The old house was very cold, and when Yu Nuo saw that he didn’t look well, he helped him pack his luggage and led him back. Yu Nuo didn’t speak along the way, which was inconsistent with his style. Luo Wensheng had expected his reaction to be much more intense than this.

He asked: “Are you angry?”

Yu Nuo drove with a cold face as Luo Wensheng continue: “I did ask you to practice in advance so that one day, when I do really die suddenly, you won’t be as uncomfortable when that day comes. So practice more.”

Yu Nuo suddenly stepped on the brakes when he heard Luo Wensheng’s words and veered the car to the side of the road and broke down crying. Being sad was also not in line with Yu Nuo style and it made Luo Wensheng regret seeing such a sight.


Chapter 2

Luo Wensheng was still insistent and kept pretending to be dead every three to five time a week. When Yu Nuo came back from work, he often saw him in his act. He strongly suspected that Luo Wensheng was influenced by a Japanese drama he saw. He had once swiped Weibo and saw a Japanese show called “Every Day When I go Home, I see My Wife Pretending to be Dead”. He showed it to Luo Wensheng, thinking it was a funny video, but didn’t expect Luo Wensheng to follow suit.

The problem was the Japanese drama was a comedy, but their family was a tragicomedy. While the death was fake, it was still mixed with a bit of truth, foreshadowing the inevitable future.

He looked at Luo Wensheng who had fallen to the ground and was lying dead. The act was so well that he truly looked as if he was really dead. Even though Yu Nuo knew he was pretending, he still would get worried every time he saw it. It seems that one day when he returned home in the future, this would be a reality for him.

He felt pain in his heart, but he had to pretend to be impatient and kicked Luo Wensheng as he said: “Get up quickly.”

Luo Wensheng got up when he heard Yu Nuo, wiped off the fake blood on his head and said: “Doesn’t look right this time?”

Yu Nuo behaved very calmly and said: “It’s boring.”

Luo Wensheng had been lying in that position for a while, so his body was stiff. He limped to the bathroom to clean up as Yu Nuo took a mop to clean the floors, trying to hold back his tears and keep a wooden face.

He sometimes wonders why he is doing this. Maybe it was because he wanted to love for a little longer. Luo Wensheng was paranoid and so was he.

Luo Wensheng had been in the bathroom for a long time and hadn’t come out. Yu Nuo was starting to worry so he went in to take a look, only to find Luo Wensheng’s thin and rickety body sitting in the bathroom with eyes that were red.

Yu Nuo bent over and picked up the shower head on the ground, turned off the hot water and said: “Get up and dry off.”

Luo Wensheng couldn’t get up. He had slipped in the bathroom, fell on his waist and became incapacitated. He must have fallen when he just got in as the hot water had scalded his entire leg.

Yu Nuo took him to the hospital and stayed with him for half a month, taking care of his eating and drinking needs. He knew that his fate with Luo Wensheng was nearing its end and he wanted to do more for him, but Luo Wensheng showed great resistance. Even though he knew that Luo Wensheng would not listen to him, he still said: “We’re an old husband and wife and I still love you.”

Luo Wensheng responded: “I hate myself.”

Yu Nuo hung his head, packed his things, and prepared take him home from the hospital. Not long after his discharge, when Yu Nuo returned home one day, he found that Luo Wensheng was not at home.

The home that they have live in for decades, no matter how clean and tidy it was, there was also a sense of homeliness, a breath of life, which permeates through every corner of the house, but when he came back that day, he felt the house was cold and desolated.

Luo Wensheng disappeared again, determinately this time as he left him a letter.

[I still can’t accept aging in front of you, and I don’t want you to watch me die.]

After saying so much Yu Nuo knew that he can not be convinced, but he still couldn’t easily let go and was able to catch Luo Wensheng who was about to get on the train at the station.

Luo Wensheng put his arms around his waist and said tremblingly: “Why are you doing this? Didn’t I make it clear in my letter.”

Yu Nuo said: “I’ll let you go. Just let me take a good look at you at the end, and I’ll let you go.” When he got old, Luo Wensheng resisted taking pictures, so he didn’t have a single picture of him at home.

The two look at each other. Yu Nuo took in all the other’s party face that was now old and wrinkled. His eyes were glistening, just like when they first met in high school. He discovered it wasn’t that his eyes were bright, but it was because of tears that were welling. They flowed down bathing the wrinkles on his face and for the first time he had cried in front of Yu Nuo.

Unable to bear it, he said: “I’m leaving now.” Luo Wensheng stiffened his waist and got into the train with his suitcase.

Immortality is not always a good thing. An immortal should not love. Yu Nuo had sent away his relatives, his parents, and now his lover. All the ones he loves will eventually leave him.

When Yu Nuo returned home, he sat on the balcony looking at the setting sun as he put on “Gentle Wind and Rain” on his phone. This is a song that Luo Wensheng especially liked when he was young. It was originally sung by Terasa Teng and Faye Wong later covered it.

“The breeze blow over the clouds,
The drizzle slowly falls down the earth.
Drenching me and drenching you,
Makes the world poetic.
The breeze accompanied by the drizzle,
Like I am with the lovely you.
Looking at me and looking at you,
See how beautiful the world is.
Ahhhh~ may I be the wind and you the rain,
Ahhhh~ the breeze in all the drizzle.”

For a long time, Yu Nuo sat there clinging to his knees as the music played in the background.


Chapter 3

Yu Nuo spent ten years alone before he finally found Luo Wensheng in a nursing home. By then, Luo Wensheng was already suffering from Alzheimer’s disease and was in a severe state where he was always drooling and unable to speak clearly. The medical staff in the sanatorium didn’t bother to take care of such an elderly man who had no relatives, so he had sores all over his body.

Yu Nuo squatted down in front of him. The smell of the old permeated as he called out to him: “Luo Wensheng.”

“It’s me, Yu Nuo.”

Luo Wensheng was thin and hagged. He opened his soulless eyes to look at the speaker. By now he was almost 80-years old.

Yu Nuo held his hands, which use to be so strong and slender when they were young, but now look like withered branches. Still, it was warm, full of the heat of life. He took Luo Wensheng back to his home, the home they had lived in together for decades. It was now facing demolition. All the furnishing in the house retained its exact appearance right before Luo Wensheng had left, but Luo Wensheng no longer recognize it.

But now they were together again. Yu Nuo had quit his job to concentrated on taking care of Luo Wensheng. He bathed him and they would bask in the sun together. The weather was perfect as the two sat on the balcony together to watch the sunset as they listen to “Gentle Wind and Rain”.

“The breeze accompanied by the drizzle, like I am with the lovely you.”

It suddenly took Yu Nuo back to their high school days. It was the first time they met. He was gnawing on a steam bun while running to school in a panic, his backpack flopping wildly on his back. When he turned the corner, he was knocked to the ground by someone on his bike who didn’t have time to stop. He hurt his arms and he dropped the steam bun. When he got up, he saw Luo Wensheng extending out his arm to help him up. The seventeen-year-old Luo Wensheng was youthful like sunshine and his eyes was bright.

On the day Luo Wensheng died, he suddenly woke up. That morning, he was asleep in a haze when he felt someone was patting him. He opened his eyes and saw Luo Wensheng with tears in his eyes. Luo Wensheng had become clearheaded, but he couldn’t speak clearly, only saying: “Nuo, Nuo.”

His trembling lips and brown eyes were covered with a layer of mist.

Yu Nuo knew that the day has arrived. He climbed into Luo Wensheng’s arms, smelling his body fragrance, the same mint-flavored smell as his shower gel. When Luo Wensheng was young, he loved being clean and this was the smell he had for decades.

Luo Wensheng hugged him tightly as they laid there in silence. Suddenly, Luo Wensheng gasped violently, as if he couldn’t breathe. Yu Nuo grabbed his clothes, but he didn’t dare to look at him as he cried: “Luo Wensheng, Luo Wensheng.”

Luo Wensheng died in extreme discomfort and Yu Nuo had died with him.


Chapter 4

Yu Nuo has the body of an immortal. He passes his day year after year seeing the world around him change day by day. Many years later, the changes were dramatic. After conforming to international trends, same-sex marriage was finally legal in his country. On the day it became legal, many domestic comrades rushed to get married. He sat on the flower bed outside the Civil Affairs Bureau for most of the days watching them go in and out happily while holding a red book* in their hands.

*Red book (红本) = it’s a real estate certificate that can be freely bought and sold. It’s basically the title to a piece of real estate.

He still remembered that when he and Luo Wensheng were together, Luo Wensheng would often say that he didn’t know when gays could get married in their country, and he didn’t know if it would happen in his lifetime, but he wouldn’t care. Even if he was 70, 80, or however old they were, as long as his legs and feet could walk, the two of them would go together and get registered.  The would be a real husband and wife, one that was recognized by the law.

Now, that dream was possible, but Luo Wensheng was no longer there. To Yu Nuo, it was always too late.

To avoid rumors and turmoil, the state applied a new ID card for Yu Nuo who has now changed his name to Yu Sheng. With this new identity, he met new colleagues at work, and once, after dinner, he talked about what the future would look like.

Yu Sheng said: “In the future, there will be flying cars, but people’s environment will return to the past and the rural areas will develop better than cities. There are few jobs that exist for humans, and everyone becomes more indifferent. When you go to the supermarket, all you see are robots that are working, and everything can be delivered. You don’t even need to see or interact with people for months, which can lead to a boring life. But the positives are that time travel has become a reality. Many people travel to the past, to live in a time of the past, and meet those who they will never be able to see again.”  

His colleagues knew that he had a lover who had passed away and when they heard him say these things, they comforted him: “Maybe in the future, we can really travel through time and space. Who knows, just like decades ago, who would have thought that you can pay, call, and make recordings with just your phone.”

Yu Sheng held his wine glass, staying silent.


Chapter 5

After Luo Wensheng died, he lived alone for many, many years. With the death of each generation, his name has also been changed several times. It has eventually reached a period of where science and technology had advance to the stage where time travel had become a reality.

Anyone can use this technology to transmigrate their soul into any era in which they have lived in the past. As long as you have the money, you can utilize this technology.

After living for so long, Yu Nuo had saved up a lot of money. He packed up his home, close the door, and immediately went to sign up.

His approval came shortly after. The staff told him that there are many rules that must be observed, such as to not interfere with the past and to follow the original history trajectory. Of course, not everything must be exactly the same. Small deviations were negligible, but bigger life choices cannot be altered, otherwise it will interfere with the past and affect the you in the present era, and the cost would be immeasurable.

“Our currently crossing technology is still immature, so it’s difficult to come back after going back in time. This also means that when you cross to the past, you have to start from that time period and live in that period all over again.”

Out of all the participants, Yu Nuo was the calmest. He nodded whenever they said anything. Unlike others who participated in this project and were hesitant while they consider their gains and losses, he seemed to be used to it.

As an orphan, his parents have been long gone and those familial feelings have long eroded. When he was a child, he wasn’t happy living at his uncle’s house. When asked what time period he would want to travel back to the most, he of course would say the year when he met Luo Wensheng.

Luo Wensheng was like his lifeline. There was nothing worth more than spending half of his life savings on than to relive the moments between meeting Luo Wensheng to when he disappeared.

He laid down in an enclosed capsule and saw the staff working through the glass. When the countdown clock sounded, he closed his eyes.

Three, two, one.

It was like a dream. With intense discomfort and pain, his soul and body seemed to have separated. His eyes remained close as tears moistened around them. After the long darkness passed, he only felt a bright light shining in front of him. At the age of 16, he was standing in front of a steam bun shop. The boss said: “Boy, what’s the matter with you? Here’s your steam bun.”

Yu Nuo hurriedly took it. In the cold winter day, all that came out was white steam from the bun that warmed him frozen hands. He took a bite, then ran towards the school quickly, but he didn’t run to the school. He was running to meet Luo Wensheng again.

He ran through one familiar street after another. A flock of pigeon flew from above a building, as the streets began filling with students of twos and threes running anxiously towards the school, wearing the uniform that he was most familiar with.

This was it. This was the crosswalk.

He was so excited that tears were about to gush out, and he leaped forward with great difficulty. Immediately he was knocked to the ground by a bicycle.

His arm was sore, and he dropped the bun in his hand. When he got up, he saw a hand stretched towards him. Because his eyes were filled with tears, he seemed to be unable to see clearly. He just saw a person standing vaguely in front of him and asked: “Classmate, are you okay?”

It was the 17-year-old Luo Wensheng who was as youthful as the sun and had bright eyes. This was the fourth time in his life that he has seen this image.

What a terrible, self-abusive obsession. It was like drinking heavily poison wine to temporarily relieve his thirst. Yu Nuo knew the final ending. After Luo Wensheng disappeared, he followed the trajectory of the previous few times to find him and then took him home, watching him to pretend to play dead and finally really died in his arms.

Note: the campus era in the novel is not written in detail, so the following jumps directly to Luo Wensheng’s old age.


Chapter 6

Yu Nuo looked at Luo Wensheng who had fallen to the ground and was lying dead. His act was so realistic that if he hadn’t known better, it really looked as if he was dead. He knew that one day when he returns home in the future and see Luo Wensheng like this, it wasn’t just “pretend” but “reality”.

Yu Nuo pursed his lips. His eyes were bitter but resolute. He pretended to kick impatiently, and said, “Get up quickly.”

Luo Wensheng got up when he heard the sound, wiped off the blood on his head, smiled and said: “How does it look this time?”

Yu Nuo said: “It’s boring.”

It stood to reason that with a person’s life so long, especially his, he shouldn’t be able to remember what he said or did, but every action remained vivid in his memories. The fact is, there was no need for him to follow history in this exact details, and small deviation won’t affect anything, but he seemed as if he’s acting in a movie, carrying out his owns lines and walking his own steps according to the script.

Luo Wensheng got up and went to the bathroom to wash off the blood stains on his body, but he didn’t come out for a long time. Yu Nuo knew that he had fallen and couldn’t get up in the bathroom as the hot water was scalding his thighs. When he would go in, he would see the same scene he has saw many times already, a helpless old Luo Wensheng.

The hot water was scalding, but it wasn’t what burned him. It was Luo Wensheng.

What is he doing?

He had been through so many reincarnations. He asked himself why? Was it because he was stubborn, paranoid, morbid that he’s constantly chasing Luo Wensheng, who insisted on maintaining his dignity?

In the end he had gained nothing but an urn of ashes.

If the ending was destined, would the process getting there still be meaningful?


Chapter 7

After Luo Wensheng died in his arms, and his funeral had been arranged, Yu Nuo sat alone on the balcony, basking in the sun while listening to “Gentle Wind and Rain”, like a zombie. He was too tired to fall in love. With every death of Luo Wensehng, he also died inside. All he could do was use the decades of time to store his remaining energy before he could meet Luo Wensheng again.

Life is long and there was more time for pain than happiness.

Was it really worth it? Yu Nuo slumped on his chair as he looked towards the sunset that bathe the sky with is dying light.

He wanted the cycle to end. There are so many in this world and he wasn’t ugly. It was easy to find another. It was a new era, one that same-sex marriage was now as common as heterosexual marriages and people’s views have improved. Even blind dating has now become popular among same-sex couples.

He uploaded his profile at a marriage agency and kept himself busy while trying to think that he wasn’t betraying Luo Wensheng. It wasn’t betrayal, he wanted to set them both free.

Within two days, someone from the marriage agency contacted him and said that they had helped him find several blind dates. If he was willing, one could be arranged on Wednesday. He agreed to it and went shopping. He hadn’t dressed well for so long that his life was a bit decadent. He bought new clothes and got a haircut. When he looked in the mirror, it was still the same young image that he had so long ago.

Luo Wensheng was now bones but he still maintained his youth.

Yu Nuo changed into his new outfit, stood in front of the full-length mirror, buttoned the top of his neckline, and went to the appointed place. He choose to walk instead of taking a taxi and sweated a lot along the way.

It seems that when you give yourself time, it opens more opportunities for you to repent. With every step he took, he felt regret creeping. After walking for a while, he paused his movements. As he was dealing with his entangled feelings, he stopped at a crosswalk where he saw a pair of young boys, in their 20’s, walking past him with arms hooked around their shoulders, like friends and lovers. The tall boy was very similar in height and size to the seventeen-year-old Luo Wensheng.

Seeing the scene, he felt like dying inside. He continued walking and stopped in front of the place they agreed to meet. The other party called and asked: “Are you here yet?”

“Almost there.”

“I’m wearing a black jacket. There’s no one in the shop now so you’ll find me easily when you come in.” The voice on the other line was gentle.

“Ok.”

He was standing at the corner. He only needed to take a few more steps and turn the corner and he’ll be there. From the glass window, he could see the man that he was going to meet on his blind date. This was the first step in his life. He may usher in a new relationship and from now on, he didn’t have to go back to Luo Wensheng over and over again. He knew that as long as he was willing to open up, he could love a second time. He may very well meet a man who is handsomer, better temper, and can fuck him better than Luo Wensheng, and he may love this man more than Luo Wensheng.

Luo Wensheng has become a thing of the past.

Yu Nuo’s heartbeat was pounding so badly that he couldn’t tell what was going on. He felt as if he was cheating. But Luo Wensheng is dead, and this was only him trying to move on and accepting a new relationship. How ridiculous for him to feel that he was “cheating”.

He smoked two cigarettes on the corner of the street and called the other party: “I’m sorry. Something suddenly came up and I can’t meet anymore.”

The other party had a very good temper and didn’t get angry. He said: “That’s a pity. I read your profile and I like you quite a bit.”

Yu Nuo hung up the phone and began to walk back. When he tried to move one step forward, seeing the face of his blind date, he felt he had betrayed Luo Wensheng.

How ridiculous. Why was he like this? He cried as he walked and then quickly ran away. He was like a moth to a flame. In this modern society, there was no other person like him.

As he ran, he felt as if he had returned to the year when he was sixteen years old, running fast to greet Luo Wensheng who was riding his bike. He wanted another chance. If he persists alone, perhaps in ten, twenty, or even a hundred yeas from now, medicine will overcome this difficulty. Perhaps there will be a cure to his immortality, and he’ll be able to grow old with Luo Wensheng again and they can die together.

As long as you don’t give up, there is always hope.

If he simply gives up now, and didn’t persist, wouldn’t this be equivalent to him giving up his love for Luo Wensheng?

Luo Wensheng could have found a normal person to be with. He had paid for himself all his life and suffered so much. A normal person can only love for so many decades. He had received this love from Luo Wensheng and he should be satisfied. Thinking this, he found the courage to live alone for decades, waiting for that day.


Chapter 8

Yu Nuo lived on for another twenty years alone. Science, technology and medicine were still developing rapidly, but the problem he wanted to solve hasn’t been solved. Instead, he had fallen ill and almost died from it. As someone who never grows old, he was still able to die.

Due to his diseases, he had to change job every few years, and city every decade. It wasn’t that he was afraid of being discovered but he didn’t want to be regarded as some kind of alien. He no longer contacted his friends of the past and after a long while, they stop contacting him. It was better this way. He had experienced too many life and death partings.

He went to the registered himself for an infusion. Modern science and technology had advance to such that he hadn’t gone to a hospital for many years. Many processes are different from before. While he may have the body of a young man, he had an old soul. He felt that he was out of touch with society, and it was difficult to adapt.

After returning from the hospital, he slept at home for a day. He laid on his bed alone, in the dark room with only a little light that was exposed from the window. At this moment he suddenly wanted someone to accompany him. It didn’t matter if it was someone he loves or not, just anyone. If someone was here, he didn’t have to be afraid when he was ill or dying.

He could find someone, but if the other person wasn’t serious then would the other party really take care of him in his time of need? On the other hand, if the other person really did love him, wouldn’t this turn into another Luo Wensheng situation?

He really shouldn’t have lived for so long. He should have died before time travel was discovered. Now that the technology existed, he was reluctant to die. While he could continue to travel back in time and relive the happy days with Luo Wensheng, he began to have more expectation for technology and medical care, looking forward to maybe one day, he could accompany Luo Wensheng in life and death.

But his patience was limited, and the technology may not come before he dies. If that’s so, then what would be the meaning of all these repeated lifetimes and hundred of years of persistence? For him, whether it was bitter or sweet, it was his own choice. The blame was all on him but what about Luo Wensheng?

If it weren’t for him, Luo Wensheng might have met an ordinary person and live a happy and ordinary life. Thinking about it this way, on the contrary, what he’s doing was harming Luo Wensheng.

If Luo Wensheng didn’t meet him, he might be happier. They have been together for decades and about half that time he could say that Luo Wensheng wasn’t happy. There was the pain of coming out of the closet, and the suffering when he reached his old age. He was tortured physically and mentally, and he died without having a son or a daughter.

When Yu Nuo recovered from his illness, he went to Luo Wensheng’s cemetery and sat in front of his tomb for an entire day. The next day, he went to the Time and Space Travel Bureau and received his approval shortly after. The staff told him again the rules that must be observed, such as not interfere with the past, must follow the original history trajectory…

“Otherwise, it will interfere with the past and affect the you in the present era. The cost is immeasurable. You may disappear and your memory will be wiped along with it.”

Unlike the previous few times, Yu Nuo who usually remained calm throughout the whole process had an abnormal expression, as if he couldn’t sit still during the introduction phase.

As he laid down in the capsule, he saw the staff working outside. The countdown clock sounded, and he took in a few deep breaths. When the staff saw that he was acting abnormal, they asked: “Sir, do you want to terminate?”

Yu Nuo shook his head and closed his eyes.

Three, two, one.

With intense discomfort and pain, his soul and body were separated again. After the long darkness passed, he heard a strange voice saying: “Boy, what’s the matter with you? Here’s your steam bun.”

At the age of 16, he was standing in front of a steam bun shop. The owner of the shop looked at him suspiciously and asked: “Are you okay?”

Yu Nuo shook his head and took the hot bun from the owner’s hand. In the cold winter day, all that came out was white steam from the bun that warmed him frozen hands. He took a bite and began to turn his head to run towards the school.

No matter where you are in my whole life, I will find you.

There was probably nothing happier in the world than running into your lover’s arms.

In less than a minute, he will be reunited with the seventeen-year-old Luo Wensheng.

He ran through one familiar street after another. A flock of pigeon flew from above a building, as the streets began filling with students of twos and threes running anxiously towards the school. All these were scenes he was most familiar with. 

This was it. This was the crosswalk.

He was so excited that tears would gush out. This is where he only needed to leap forward hard to get acquainted with Luo Wensheng.

Luo Wensheng would stretch out his hand and ask him: “Classmate, are you okay?” His eyes are bright, and his voice is crisp.

It seems that a long life has been floating in his mind the whole time: the life they have live together, the cum they have shot, the saliva they have exchanged, the tears and blood they have shed, and the most painful and helpless convulsions and suffocation they experience when Luo Wensheng died in his arms.

Luo Wensheng, Luo Wensheng.

Yu Nuo pursed his lips tightly and took a step forward. The jingling of the bike rang as he saw the 17-year-old Luo Wensheng flying past him.

What was the point? It seems that the past few hundred years have suddenly become meaningless. He didn’t know what he was doing.

Yu Nuo’s face was distorted, he lowered his head and cried, and the seventeen-year-old Luo Wensheng glanced back at him, thinking what had happened to this student to make him cry so sadly.

Everything has changed. From then on, Luo Wensheng no longer knew Yu Nuo. They didn’t meet and didn’t love. In this world, there was no longer a Yu Nuo who traveled through time and space for Luo Wensheng. The memories of their past disappeared.

The bell rang signifying the end of the school day. Groups of students began to walk out the gate. Spring was coming. On the road outside the school, cherry blossoms scattered all around. Yu Nuo was walking home with his backpack on his back when he suddenly heard the crisp sound of bells, jingling, jingling.

He stopped on the side of the road as Luo Wensheng road past him on his bike.

He patted his shoulder and continue walking away as if he was carried by the wind. Fine falling petals fluttered in the air and brushed on the face of the 16-year-old Yu Nuo.

He didn’t look up as he kept on walking.

All my love for you is to give you an ordinary life.


Kinky Thoughts: GOD I’M CRYING. WHY DID I TRANSLATE THIS?! I must be as self-abusive as Yu Nuo. My god. I feel so bad for Yu Nuo. God it was so difficult translating this throughs all my tears.

I was hoping for some more dog food like their highschool days or middle-age days, but NOPE! Just all fucking dog abuse. Well, I hope you enjoyed it. I’m now sobbing like all those who saw the movie.

This was written very beautifully. The passion, the feelings, the sorrows. So good.


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6 thoughts on “When My Lover Gets Old, I Will Still Be as Beautiful as a Flower || When You’re Older

  1. That – that f**cking HURT!!! When after everything was over and over again – in the end, there was no them. I feel so bad for both of them. The unknown sacrifice. In the end – I was the one left crying. Wuwuuuu DogBlooded!!! Waaaaahhhh

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  2. Ow qwq
    Why did I read this, as well.. must be something strange about humans that makes us love self abuse and angst so much °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°
    There’s a story where someone transmigrates into this novel by the author as well right? Or do I remember wrong.. would be interesting to read if there is, though.
    Thank you for the update and this extra story!

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  3. Oh god this was heart wrenching. It’s so sad to see your lover die, but to see him die over and over again and then go back in time to do the same thing? God this is beautiful torture

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  4. “All my love for you is to give you an ordinary life” this is real love! Sacrificing yourself so that your lover can remember you forever is relatively easy because you know you’ll live on through their memories. But sacrificing all YOUR feelings and memories to allow your lover to live a happier life? That’s painful! Even if the pain lasts only a minute. Letting go of the things we love is very difficult. Yu Nuo did the right thing imo, even though I don’t think Luo Wensheng would necessarily have a “traditional” family. Btw, I guess we’ll never know: Yu Nuo already changed his life trajectory dramatically. That means there’s also a chance he’ll never contract the immortality disease.

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  5. Damn, I said to my self not to read it, but here I am bawling my eyes out…. Thank for bringing this storyline to us…. It so sad, yet beautiful… We may be selfish, but that is not always the correct answer to happiness… It like a two edged sword…

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