Author: 年终 / Nian Zhong
Translator: Kinky || https://kinkytranslations.com/
Chapter 49: Romantic Comedy
“I didn’t expect this matter to be so… personal,” Teest said an hour later.
At the moment, the two of them stood straight in the “bedroom”. The atmosphere was even more peculiar than that evening at Aunt Sophie’s.
Priestess Anakin generously offered them a tent. Like all magic tents, this small pointy one had an interior of about 30 square meters, including a simple living room and a semi-open bedroom.
A larger tent that could accommodate four people wasn’t too expensive, but Nol guessed that both groups needed ample privacy.
As a result, Nol was tasked with helping Teest change into his costume.
“Just as Anakin said, changing clothes to the usual extent is just inappropriate in front of the opposite sex.”
Nol cleared his throat, trying to rectify Teest’s ambiguous statement. “You just show your waist, stick the tail to your spine, and it will automatically align—attach the horns and tail, and finally the outer robe. You don’t need to change your underwear.”
Teest didn’t move while his succubus tail was happily bouncing on the bed.
“Just stick it to the spine, and it’s done in a few seconds. It doesn’t hurt at all.” Thinking Test hadn’t heard him, Nol repeated.
“You try it first,” Teest said.
“Wha—what?”
“I said, you try it first. I need to see the actual effect.” Teest kept his annoying smile. “I don’t like putting things I haven’t touched close to my body. What if it’s a letter opener 2.0? Don’t worry, it’s better for only me to see than for everyone to watch. Your knight won’t mock you.”
Nol found he couldn’t argue. The effect of the letter opener was too strong. It was no wonder Teest was wary.
So, he reluctantly removed his robe and began to unbutton his inner shirt. The atmosphere was admittedly odd as he sat on the edge of the bed, deliberately avoiding looking at Teest.
Teest, arms crossed, watched as Nol slowly undressed. Nol’s physique was indeed very much like a traditional mage, lacking the muscular lines typical of warriors. Fortunately, he had maintained a good figure with a flexible waist and no excess fat, offering a different kind of appeal.
…It was rare to see Mr. Lich so uncomfortable that his neck turned a bit red. Teest found this extremely amusing.
A few steps away, Nol spread his shirt without completely taking it off. He grabbed the active tail on the bed, clenched his teeth, closed his eyes, and stuck its base to his lower back.
The lively tail immediately solidified, and the end touching the skin lit up with a faint red glow. Around the contact point, intricate magical patterns spread out on the fair skin like ripples.
The tail moved itself to the coccyx position as the patterns shimmered. Once in the correct position, the magical patterns dimmed, and the skin merged flawlessly, showing no imperfections.
‘…It’s a miracle,’ Teest thought, albeit slightly naughty.
However, the next moment, the tail stiffened.
Nol’s face tensed.
Only now did he realize how hard it was to control this thing attached to him. The unfamiliar sensation, weight, and the control of this living limb all appeared at once, overwhelming him.
Trying to showcase the tail, Nol was forced to stand up and almost lost his balance.
He didn’t know how to control it, so the tail straightforwardly portrayed his nervous state—it remained unnaturally straight, with the tip pointing obliquely at the ground.
Ignoring his open shirt, he tried to fiddle with the tail, but it continued to mimic an antenna. He stumbled a couple of steps, and the tail wobbled a few times, like a substandard electronic accessory.
“Hahahahahahaha—” Teest laughed out loud. “My Lord Lich, you look like you’ve been shot in the lower back!”
Nol gave up on the defiant tail. There was a rare blush on his cheeks. “You said you wouldn’t mock me!”
“Who said your knight is a Fallen Knight? I don’t have any chivalry.” Teest continued to laugh uncontrollably while gesturing. “Haha, don’t be mad. Maybe someone likes your… um, particularly naive succubus look.”
Nol took a deep breath, wanting to argue with him. However, seeing Teest’s genuinely happy smile, something he hadn’t seen in their long time traveling together, Nol couldn’t get angry.
Of course, it would’ve been better if the smile wasn’t at his expense, Nol thought with a sulky face. Not being angry didn’t mean he wouldn’t seek revenge.
He forcefully detached the tail by tapping its base thrice and lunged at Teest—who was still doubled over laughing—catching him off guard.
Using his weight, Nol pressed Teest face down on the bed. With a snap of his fingers, skeletal hands emerged from the bed, firmly grasping Teest.
Teest didn’t resist but turned his face with a sly smile. “Is this how you treat your dear brother?”
“Yes, as the future leader of monsters, I’m this brutal.”
Nol lifted himself, sitting back on the bed’s edge, and playfully waved the tail in front of Teest. “Now that I’ve demonstrated, it’s your turn, Deceitful Knight. You laughed so loudly earlier. Surely you can control it completely.”
“Who knows?” Teest teased with a smile.
Teest wore a short tunic that easily lifted at the top. Nol decisively pushed away the fabric at his waist, revealing a slim and strong torso—damn, Teest really had a good figure.
Realizing that Teest was still trembling from holding back laughter, Nol’s temples pulsed, and he pressed down on Teest’s lower back.
“Ouch!” Teest let out a sudden groan of pain.
Startled, Nol quickly pulled away his bony fingers, clumsily tapping on the base of the tail. “Hey, hey! What’s wrong with you? Does it hurt?”
Before he could touch the base, the long black tail suddenly curled up, wrapping around Nol’s wrist. Before he could react, the arrow-shaped tail tip deftly squeezed between his fingers—warm and soft, yet uniquely resilient, reminiscent of a not-so-wet tongue. The tail was surprisingly strong, and Nol couldn’t break free.
In the next moment, with the world spinning around him, Nol found himself pressed against the edge of the bed.
Teest leaned over. His eyes were still curved with amusement, and his long hair hung down, brushing against Nol’s cheek.
The tail seemed to be a natural extension of Teest’s body. It lazily unwound from Nol’s wrist and gently wrapped around his neck—slightly warmer than body temperature and smooth to the touch.
At this moment, the soft tip of the tail gently caressed Nol’s throat.
“It seems I’m indeed better at this than you,” Teest said with a smile. “It doesn’t hurt at all. Honey, if you want to pretend to be a leader of monsters, you can’t be so easily deceived.”
“And you said you’re not a succubus,” Nol said through gritted teeth. “Mr. Teest, how long have you been separated from your tail?”
“I remember we said goodbye on a rainy night…” Teest pretended to recall nostalgically, the tail tip still leisurely twirling beside Nol’s jaw.
Taking advantage of Teest’s act, Nol tried to lower his head and gently bit the tail tip.
Teest, jolted from the distraction, took a sharp breath.
He glanced at Nol and quickly retracted the tail wrapped around his neck. The tail now swayed powerfully behind him, like that of a large feline.
Nol pushed away Teest’s hand, sat up from the edge of the bed, and began to button up his shirt. “Don’t forget your devil horns and clothes. We still have to meet with those two Players later.”
“Ah, good times are always so short-lived.” Teest lamented while rubbing the tip of his tail. Shadow Wolf Ben emerged from its shadow, its red eyes following the tail’s movements.
“Stop staring. It’s not food,” Nol cautioned, pressing a finger to the cool nose of the shadow wolf. “Go play on the edge of the forest, and make sure you guard the place well.”
The shadow wolf licked its nose and whined softly twice in reply.
“Aren’t we taking it?” Teest, now behaving more maturely, asked as he fixed horns on his head.
“We can’t. Bringing non-living things like Kando is okay… but the succubi built their lair on the Dream Edge, specifically to guard against intelligent beings,” Nol explained while pulling at a fleshy part of the wolf’s muzzle. “With it guarding the camp, we can rest a bit easier.”
While the shadow wolf possessed some intelligence, it was minimal, making it hard to bring along. Fortunately, it had strong attributes. The depths of the Black Forest were as mysterious as the deep sea, home to unknown creatures. But in the forest’s edges and middle, the shadow wolf could roam freely, making it perfect for guarding.
“Alright then.” Teest shrugged, adjusting his newly changed attire.
His outfit resembled the chlamys from ancient Greece, essentially a large piece of white fabric draped around his body, leaving Teest’s neck, chest, and limbs largely exposed. For the sake of convenience in combat and to prevent any indecent exposure, a few intricately decorated bands were added. Combined with the deceptive appearance of the Mad Monk, he looked somewhat divine in a classical way.
Unfortunately, the swaying black tail and the sharp horns amidst his white hair betrayed him.
At a glance, Teest looked almost indistinguishable from a real succubus. Thankfully, Anakin bought a standard set… the deluxe set even included wings. If he really had put them on, Nol couldn’t imagine the spectacle. He clicked his tongue inwardly.
“Alright, let’s—”
Before Nol could finish, he was momentarily entranced by Teest’s glowing golden eyes. After a few seconds, he snapped out of it.
“…Don’t suddenly charm me!”
“Ah, now I can relax,” Teest replied playfully, poking Nol’s chest with his tail tip.
Nol rolled his eyes and took out Kando from the box. Upon seeing Teest, Kando exclaimed in surprise.
“You guys are seriously messed up!” It exclaimed. “Seriously, I’m begging you. Can you do something a normal person would do for once? Every time! Every single time! You always find yourselves in these bizarre situations—woah!”
Nol pulled out a hollow, cylindrical black crystal, placing the candle upside down inside it. From the outside, only a small part of the crystal at the top of the staff emitted a faint blue glow.
It was something he had hastily made overnight to deal with the Players. The staff was also wrapped in a few rounds of hemp, making it look quite cheap.
“It’s boring like this. I can’t see anything,” the candle mumbled miserably from inside.
“Don’t be picky.” Teest pressed the crystal down firmly to ensure the candle was thoroughly concealed. “Alright, Mr. Lich, is there anything else you need to prepare?”
Nol took a deep breath. “Let’s go.”
……
“…Crush the leaves of these flowers to extract the juice and drop it into the candle. Then soak the petals in essential oil until they turn purple. Just apply this essential oil to your eyelids, and then sleep.”
In the deepening night, Nol carefully explained.
“This isn’t astral projection. Our physical bodies will not be left behind. There’s no need to worry about guarding them…”
Even though they were momentarily stunned by Teest’s captivating charm, the two Players weren’t distracted. Under Nol’s guidance, everything was ready within an hour.
The purple essential oil had a particularly rich fragrance. Nol dipped his fingertip in it, carefully applying it to his eyelids. He and Teest leaned against the same tree, closing their eyes.
The cousins chose another nearby tree, with Anakin tightly holding onto her younger brother’s wrist.
Amidst the rich and intoxicating aroma, all four quickly fell asleep.
Nol dreamt of the neon lights in City A at night.
He was coming home from work late as usual, the aroma of street food filling the air. Feeling nostalgic, he carried two portions of fried chicken and two portions of grilled cold noodles as his stomach grumbled loudly.
So it turned out everything before was just a hallucination from overworking. How could anyone really transmigrate into their own game?
Nol—Xu Yue roamed the snack street, internally ridiculing his delusion. Suddenly, he detected the unique scent of baking.
Ah, there’s a cake shop open so late. Maybe I can also buy two peach cakes.
…Wait, why was he buying two of each?
…Why did he buy two of every food item?
…Right… Teest was waiting for him… But clearly, Teest wasn’t here…
His vision blurred, and the vivid colors of the snack street seemed to explode. The world felt like it was spinning, and he closed his eyes to bear it.
The next moment, Nol opened his eyes.
Teest was squatting in front of him, holding his chin, with his tail moving about.
“I was just thinking, if you didn’t wake up soon, I’d have to poke you awake,” Teest laughed.
Nol blinked, looking around.
The forest was still the same, as were the tents. However, the once green lawn now looked brighter, dotted with numerous tiny white flowers. The once dark night was now illuminated, with neither the sun nor the moon in sight. Instead, the sky blended shades of lilac and pale rose.
A pale purple mist continuously rolled at the horizon, filling the air with a sweet scent—it was hard to determine if it was floral or fruity.
The two Players were still sleeping soundly under the neighboring tree, their bodies giving off a surreal, semi-transparent aura.
“We’re here, at the edge between reality and dreams,” Nol said, his voice a bit hoarse.
“Did you have a nightmare?” Teest didn’t follow up immediately.
“…Sort of,” Nol replied.
The neon lights of that world lingered in his vision, and a subtle sour sensation remained in his heart.
Teest hummed in acknowledgment, rubbing Nol’s head. “It’s over now. Don’t dwell on it.”
Before Nol could raise an eyebrow at this strange behavior, Teest leaned in. “Those two Players just woke up. Remember now, I’m your elder brother, right?”
“Damn, this place is… amazing,” Rogue Solo exclaimed, looking around. “Wait, let me correct myself. It’s a bit creepy too. There’s not even the chirping of birds—feels fake.”
Anakin cautiously pulled out her wand.
It was a small, elegant wand, just a bit longer than a pen. Made of silver metal, it was adorned with a milk-white orb the size of a lychee at the end.
This wand was called the “Perfect Teardrop”. Nol recognized it. It was an exclusive weapon for the White Priest class, and its power ranked among the top ten of this level.
“This place really gives off an uneasy vibe,” Anakin whispered.
‘That’s a bit of an overreaction,’ Nol thought. The name “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” came from a famous romantic comedy and was related to a heartwarming love story.
Two hundred years had passed, and although the story might have concluded, the sequel couldn’t be that bad—after all, Players could still receive related quests.
Anakin euphemistically shared the outline of their quest, which was similar to the original mission setting. They all have to “relieve the troubles of the Succubus Queen”.
The succubus was considered a small immortal species. The queen may not have changed, so there shouldn’t be any trouble…
“Now that we have successfully entered, if it is convenient, please tell us more details,” Nol said with a smile.
It was time to lighten the mood with some good stories.
“Oh, that love tragedy.” Rogue Solo touched his chin. “I have read the text for what felt like 800 times, so feel free to ask any details. That story, well… it’s quite realistic.”
Tragic love story*?
*Note: They are talking about the in-game story, not the actual literature of A Midsummer Night’s Dream written by Shakespeare. For more details on that, see my Kinky Thoughts.
Nol’s brows twitched.
“But my teacher said that ‘A Midsummer Night’s Dream’ is a token of love between the succubus Queen Hyacinth and her lover Decoste. They are a happy couple.”
Hyacinth was a stunning genius of the succubus clan. This queen’s wisdom was no less than her beauty.
During her adventurous journey, Hyacinth met Decoste, a human friend. They wandered into the deep Black Forest together. Over time, the two fell in love with each other.
Decoste’s family was wealthy, and he generously spent a lot of property to buy twelve perfect red magic diamonds to woo Hyacinth.
Hyacinth accepted his pursuit.
She spent all her life learning to create the twelve red magic diamonds into the “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” as a testimony of their love… This was the background story of this legendary set of jewelry.
In the quest two hundred years ago, the two lovers got into trouble because of a misunderstanding, and the Players needed to help them solve this little trouble. After that, they would live happily together… as they should.
“Your teacher probably only read the beginning of the story.”
Solo shook his head sadly.
“They may have fallen in love, but according to the existing literature, they didn’t even survive the contradiction of the ‘lifespan theory’.”
“They’re all dead. Decoste died of old age and illness after remarrying, and Hyacinth committed suicide a few years later… Those documents were specially collected by Decoste’s descendants.”
“They died over a hundred and fifty years ago.”
The author has something to say:
Nol: Help, my blood pressure is up again!
Teest: (touching his head)
————————————
I actually wrote about a succubus fight…ah, a succubus fight (…
Kinky Thoughts:
The story of A Midsummer’s Night Dream by William Shakespeare is a comedy set in Athens that consists of several subplots surrounding the marriage of Theseus and Hippolyta. They all have themes related to love, blending humor, fantasy, and romance elements. At the end, all the subplots are resolved, and everyone is reconciled (which is why Nol reacted the way he did, since it’s not a tragic love story, unlike Shakespeare’s other works).
You can go to the Wikipedia to read up on the entire plot.
Most likely, Nian Zhong referencing the lover’s quarrel between Hyacinth and Decoste from the Fairy King and Queen in Shakespeare’s play, where the Fairy King Oberon and Fairy Queen Titania are having a lover’s feud.
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