Author: 梦溪石 / Meng Xi Shi

Translator: Kinky || https://kinkytranslations.com/

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Chapter 34

After thinking about it for a while, he still ended up with no results. Dong Zhi decided to send a message to Zhong Yuyi: [Old Zhong, do you know what hobbies Boss Long has?]

Zhong Yuyi quickly replied: [Slaying demons.]

Dong Zhi thought, ‘He doesn’t expect me to catch him a demon so he can slay it… right?’

He asked again: [Apart from this? For example, piano, chess, calligraphy, or painting? Mountain climbing or sword dancing? Square dancing*?]

*Clarity: Not American square dancing. It’s referring to a rhythmic dance performed spontaneously by residents in open spaces such as squares and courtyards for the purpose of fitness.

Zhong Yuyi seemed to be lost in his thoughts, and after a long time, he sent a reply: [Cooking.]

??? The male god that’s like a high-cold* flower actually likes to cook?! This is simply too contrasting.

*[Gao leng] (高冷) Internet buzzword used to describe someone who’s arrogant and cold.

Dong Zhi hurriedly asked: [Are you sure?]

Zhong Yuyi: [I think so. When I was still at the old building, no one was willing to deliver there, and the canteen happened to be on holiday. No one in our group cook so the boss personally cooked for us several times.]

Dong Zhi found the image of Long Shen’s busy figure standing in front of the stove with an apron on quite cute.

He asked Zhong Yuyi: [Then his food was delicious, right?]

Zhong Yuyi said honestly: [It was hard to eat.]

Dong Zhi: […Besides that, does he have any other hobbies?]

Zhong Yuyi: [I don’t think so.]

It seems that Zhong Yuyi and Long Shen didn’t know each other all that well either. But then again, except for someone who had ulterior motives like him, who would try to delve into getting to know their immediate boss better.

Dong Zhi wanted to gift him an antique sword, which would not only express his gratitude but also align with his feelings. Who knew that when he looked at their prices, he couldn’t afford even one if he were to sell himself?

He scratched his head and exhaled in distress and visited a forum for help. He typed in: [How to pursue a man?]

After thinking about it, he deleted it and changed it to: [How to pursue a man who’s powerful in all aspects?]

The forum was popular, so he had more than a dozen replies within a few minutes.

Some people said: [You have to be brave and confess. Maybe he was already interested in you a long time ago. This is called a two-way crush!]

This was impossible. Pass. Dong Zhi went to look at the next one.

Some people suggested drugging him and doing a forced entry*. This one is also a pass.

*Overlord hard on the bow (霸王硬上弓) Original meaning refers to someone who is domineering that has now extended in modern times to describe one party forcing/coercing another to have sex (AKA rape). || Don’t do this shit.

Some people replied, asking him to test him first and then wait for the opportunity to act. This wasn’t a bad suggestion and was along the lines of what he was thinking.  

Among the dozens of replies, there were few that were reliable. Most of them were exaggerated and commented on casually. Dong Zhi was left speechless. He simply turned off the computer and went to his appointment when the time neared.

At close to 7, he arrived at the Forest Teahouse. The private room was booked in advance, and he texted Long Shen the room number earlier that morning. When he arrived, Long Shen was already there, and there was someone next to him. It turned out it was his rival, Liu Qingbo.

Dong Zhi was stunned for a moment. Before he could respond, Liu Qingbo smiled and said, “I ran into Boss Long just after a meeting. I have many questions to ask him. Do you mind if I join you? I’ll invite you to dinner another time to make this up.”

How could Dong Zhi reject this in front of Long Shen? He had to pretend to be gracious and said with a smile, “I don’t mind. Since you are here, let’s eat together. Do you have anything you can’t eat?”

Long Shen shook his head. “Feel free to order whatever.”

Liu Qingbo followed up with, “Same.”

Dong Zhi imagined a scene of wringing Liu Qingbo into a knot, then stuffing him into a sack, then stepping on it until he became a meat loaf. As he was thinking this, he handed a succulent to Long Shen. “I didn’t know what to get you and you probably won’t accept anything valuable. I remember that you had potted plants in your office, so I bought this small thing. The shopkeeper said it has a nice name, yulu.”

From the corner of his eyes, he could see Liu Qingbo seemingly raise his mouth slightly, as if he had an expression of disdain.

Long Shen said, “Thank you.”

Seeing that he did not refuse, Dong Zhi felt very happy. He picked up the menu and asked the waiter to order some dishes. While he ordered, Liu Qingbo started a conversation with Long Shen. With his family background, most of the topics they talked about were a combination of magic and swordsmanship. There were many mythical terms like, snake poison, bee poison, cowhide poison, money poison, mother and son poison*, and so on. Long Shen let Liu Qingbo talk incessantly, and occasionally would reply in a sentence or two.

*Clarity: It’s referring to gu. See the Wikipedia to learn about the different types.

Dong Zhi didn’t understand much, but judging from Liu Qingbo’s admiring expression, Long Shen’s few words gave him great inspiration. He didn’t interrupt them either so he listened silently until the waiter came back with their food, then he said, “Liu Shixiong, Boss Long has been in a lot of meetings these days and should be tired. Let him take a break and you can talk after we finish eating.”

Liu Qingbo looked at him for a while, then smiled brightly. “I was negligent, Boss Long. I’m really sorry. Let’s eat first.”

After a few spoonsful of food and three rounds of drinks, it was inevitable that small talk began again. Dong Zhi couldn’t interject into their topics and didn’t plan to, so they talked more comfortably. Dong Zhi recalled when he went karaokeing with He Yu and the others, he often watched Kan Chaosheng sing out of tune and was able to pick up his notions, which still remained vivid in his mind today.

Although Long Shen didn’t talk much, Dong Zhi observed that he did gradually relax and there was a bit of comfort between the corners of his eyes. Dong Zhi thought about He Yu’s complaints about their all-night meetings and couldn’t help feeling distressed for Long Shen. As a Deputy of a bureau, he had even more responsibilities to shoulder.

Liu Qingbo suddenly said, “Dong Shidi, I heard that you joined the Taoist circle not long ago. You have taken the exam so soon. Surely you must have a deep family background?”

Dong Zhi said, “My parents are ordinary people, and they have already passed away.”

Liu Qingbo looked surprised. “So, you must be very talented? I wonder what the results of your written exam?”

Dong Zhi was taken aback before saying, “It’s alright.”

Upon hearing this, Liu Qingbo became sure that Dong Zhi hadn’t done well. He continued to chase after the victory and said, “It doesn’t matter. I heard that many people have taken the exam several times before passing. If it doesn’t work out this time, you can always try again next year. It’s a pity that the opportunity to be an apprentice under Boss Long is not available every year.”

Dong Zhi smiled shyly.

Long Shen suddenly said, “What was your score?” He obviously was too busy to pay attention to the score announcement like He Yu. It didn’t matter, as someone would send him a transcript later anyway.

Dong Zhi said modestly, “This time I didn’t do too good. I only got 157 points.”

Liu Qingbo: …

He scored 130 points on the exam. He originally thought that this score was good, and he wanted to ridicule Dong Zhi while squashing his opponent’s desire to become Long Shen’s apprentice. Who knew that his opponent would drop a nuclear bomb at this very moment?

Dong Zhi continued his humble act. “But I think elder brother Liu is right. There are many capable people in the outside world who are much better. There’s no end to learning. Although my written test scores are acceptable, the interview still requires hard work.”

Dong Zhi was incomparably sincere in his words and had a face that looked harmless to humans and animals, so no one would suspect that he was showing off. Liu Qingbo gritted his teeth with anger upon hearing those words.

Long Shen was fond of this very much, and when he heard Dong Zhi’s words, he gave a nod of approval. Seeing Liu Qingbo’s expression like he was eating flies, Dong Zhi felt extremely happy.

The villain inside Liu Qingbo sneered, ‘Dong Zhi, you scheming bastard!’

Liu Qingbo asked, “Boss Long, will you be an interviewer for the interview this year?”

Dong Zhi pricked up his ears.

Long Shen was noncommittal. “Is this important?”

Liu Qingbo smiled and said, “Seeing you, no matter how nervous I am, I’ll be able to calm down.”

Dong Zhi: Kiss-ass!

Long Shen: “As long as you are well prepared, whoever is the interviewer is the same. Moreover, there will be more than one interviewer.”

Liu Qingbo nodded. “You’re right, but I heard that the interview elimination rate is quite high. No one was shortlisted last year. I wonder if it will be appropriately relaxed this year?”

Long Shen said, “The standards are always there. As long as you can pass the standards, you can be shortlisted, but even if you pass the interview, it’s still too early to be happy. There’s also the training exam later, which also has a high elimination rate.”

What Long Shen said was a circumlocution, as this was all the information they knew, but Liu Qingbo didn’t expect to ask anything from him. His goal was to become his apprentice. No matter how he acted now, the most important thing was to first build a good relationship with Long Shen and make him become aware of his existence.

After their meal, Long Shen had business to attend to, so he took leave first, leaving behind Dong Zhi and Liu Qingbo to stare at each other with smiling faces.

Liu Qingbo was the first to speak, “Taoist friend, you’re actually very good to score 157 points on the test. Most likely, you’ve got first place for the written exam, right?”

He was referred to as shidi in front of Long Shen, but now he had become a Taoist friend instead.

Dong Zhi smiled innocently, “I just got a higher score in the written exam. For the interview, I’m sure I won’t do as well as Liu Shixiong.”

Liu Qingbo was furious as he thought, ‘This kid can sure pretend to be a big-tailed wolf* while acting all docile on the surface.’

*(大尾巴狼) Used as a ridicule for people who’s pretentious and likes to show off.

“It’s okay. If we have time another day, we’ll talk about it again and I’ll ask you for advice.” Liu Qingbo still maintained a graceful look on his face as he stretched out his hand to pat Dong Zhi’s shoulder, but Dong Zhi avoided it by getting up and grabbing the bill.

“Okay, elder brother Liu. Don’t forget that you still owe me dinner, so invite me another day!” Dong Zhi said with a smile and left first after taking care of the tab. He wasn’t interested in staying and pretending to say polite things to each other.

Moreover, he remembered that his rival’s mother was a descendant of the Hmong, who specialized in poison. Liu Qingbo’s conversation with Long Shen just now also proved this. He Yu had warned him that he could be poisoned unknowingly as there are secret channels of transmission, such as physical contact or through food, so there must be some sort of medium.

After Xu Wan’s incident, Dong Zhi had wised up and dared not be careless with strangers like Liu Qingbo, especially one who considered him a rival. Trying to avoid giving your opponent an opportunity would be the best scenario.

If He Yu was here, he would say with great comfort that Xiao Dongdong was getting more cautious.

Dong Zhi returned to the dorms and was about to open the door when he saw the door on the opposite side of his room open. Long Shen stood there beckoning to him.

“You, come in.”

Dong Zhi knew that Long Shen’s room was opposite of He Yu’s but given that he was always busy and even had a house in the city, he rarely ever returned to his dorm.

But…?

Dong Zhi felt confused and thought, ‘Isn’t this progressing too fast?! I haven’t even confessed yet and he wants me to go into his room?!’

He soon snapped out of his imagination and knew that he was thinking too much. Long Shen let him in and pointed to the yulu succulent that he had given him and asked, “How do you take care of it?”

Dong Zhi hurriedly said, “You don’t need to water it much. Avoid heat and too much moisture. Just place it where the sun can’t reach it.”

Succulents are very delicate. Ordinary people may not know how to take care of them. What’s more, with Long Shen’s constant workload, he probably didn’t have time to take care of it. If it were to die, wouldn’t this gift be considered unlucky? Could it be the symbolization of the fate of his love? Death before it even had a chance to sprout?

Pu, pu, pu. Children’s words have no taboos*!

*(童言无忌) Refers to children speaking honestly even if they make bad remarks. It’s also used to ridicule people who speak naively or ridiculously.

Dong Zhi set aside his messy thoughts and embarrassingly said, “I didn’t think much about it when I got it for you. I just thought that this yulu looked very beautiful, like a crystal, and perhaps you would feel better when you looked at it while working… If you can’t take care of it, I’ll get you something else. Anyway, it’s not expensive.”

Long Shen smiled and said, “No need. As long as you have the intention, that’s enough. No need to give gifts.”

Perhaps it was his smile that bewitched him, causing him to go out of character as Dong Zhi asked, “Boss Long, do you have any hobbies?”

Long Shen shook his head. “No.”

Keeping up his persistent effort, Dong Zhi continued, “Is there anything you like? Like collecting antique swords?”

Long Shen raised an eyebrow. “Why are you asking?”

Dong Zhi was tongue-tied as he couldn’t honestly answer.

Long Shen patted him on the shoulder. “Prepare for the interview and don’t think about anything else.” He then dismissed Dong Zhi.

Dong Zhi looked at Long Shen as he closed his door and wanted to step forward and slam open the door and shout, “You misunderstood! I’m not trying to bribe you! I’m trying to fuck you!”

—

Between the written exam and the interview, there wasn’t much time for the candidates to prepare. Once the results were announced, the interview would be set within a few days. The examination room was the same as the written exam except there were only 30 people who were shortlisted for the interview. The three rooms before were naturally reduced to one, and the interviews were arranged in random order. When their number was called, they would enter the room while the others wait outside.

When Dong Zhi got there, he was thrilled when he saw Ba Sang and Gu Meiren and went over to greet them. They were naturally happy to see him as well. Though they were competitors, they were more likely to become future colleagues. Even Gu Meiren’s cold face showed a trace of joy.

“Hu Shuo hasn’t come yet?” Seeing that he was missing, Dong Zhi naturally asked, as he was also an acquaintance.

Ba Sang said, “He sent a message and said that he did not pass the written exam and could only come back next year.”

Although it was expected, Dong Zhi still felt a bit regretful. He asked them for their contact information and added them to his friends list. The three had met by chance and didn’t form much of a friendship, but they were able to pass through the first part of the exam and were among the 30 people that were currently here, so there was some semblance of commodore, which had closed the distance between them.

Dong Zhi also caught sight of Liu Qingbo, but he quickly looked away as he wasn’t interested in greeting him.

Ba Sang said, “I heard that the interview questions over the years have been particularly tricky, and I’m really afraid that I won’t be able to answer them.”

After getting acquainted with them, Gu Meiren would speak more. “And everyone’s questions seem to be different. The examiners ask questions randomly, unlike written exams, which can be reviewed in a targeted manner.”

Hearing this, Dong Zhi felt ecstatic as he remembered the interesting interview questions that He Yu had told him about in previous years.

Ba Sang was perplexed. “What are you laughing at?”

Dong Zhi recounted to them the interesting stories. “It seems that last year, a koi spirit had finally cultivated into a human and came to the exam and entered the interview session. An interviewer said that it was strange for spirits to transform to humans, and it wasn’t something easy to do so he must’ve accumulated a lot of merits through his cultivation. He then asked will he keep doing good deeds now that he was human? The koi spirit said yes, and he took out his phone and clicked on a social media app and searched for all the Weibo posts that had forwarded koi* saying that he was spreading luck, and this was his contribution to the world.”

*Reminder: Koi is a symbol of wealth and luck, so it’s used by bloggers as a gimmick to gain forwarding volume. Many netizens hope to get some of this good luck and it eventually became a modern internet superstition.

Ba Sang burst out laughing, attracting the attention of everyone. He quickly lowered his voice, shook his shoulders, and said, “Then what?”

Although Gu Meiren tried her best to hide her expression, she couldn’t help but smile as well.

Dong Zhi continued, “He was scolded by the interviewer, but I heard that he performed well in other aspects, so he was admitted later.”

Ba Sang scratched his head. “I hope that when the time comes, they don’t ask why I can communicate with eagles, because I really can’t answer that.”

As they talked, the people in front of them went in one by one. Dong Zhi secretly paid attention and found that everyone that entered was in there on average for about 15 minutes. At this rate, it’ll soon be their turn.

When people went in, they either pretended to be calm or couldn’t conceal their nervousness. When they exited, they all had different expressions. Some were relaxed, some were happy, and others were sad or crying. From a glance, you could tell how well they did during the interview.

Liu Qingbo took about 20 minutes when he went in before he came out. He was the one who stayed the longest among the previous candidates so far. When he came out, he acted as if nothing had happened, but there was a small trace of a smile at the corner of his mouth, and he seemed relaxed and calm. Seeing this, Dong Zhi forced himself to calm down.

With the highest score for the written exam, he couldn’t possibly perform too badly in the interview.

“No. 12, Dong Zhi!”

When he heard his name called, Dong Zhi hurriedly got up and walked into the room. The ranking of the written test hasn’t been announced yet, but it seems that some people were already aware that he was ranked first as he gained a lot of attention when he got up to move.

The moment he stepped inside the room, the movement from outside seemed to be isolated suddenly. Dong Zhi surmised it must be an enchantment, similar to the training room on the rooftop. The classroom was empty with the exception of six examiners sitting on one side. One of them had a childlike appearance but looked like a big boss. There was also a middle-aged lady who had an elegant and noble demeanor. He couldn’t tell how old she was, but she looked to be in her forties or fifties.

Dong Zhi saw Long Shen as well as Wu Bingtian and another person that was next to him. Since both Deputy Directors were there, the other person must be Deputy Director Song Zhicun of Group Three, though he had never met Song Zhicun, so he didn’t know if his guess was correct.

Long Shen raised his head and glanced at Dong Zhi, showing no fluctuation in his expression, but for Dong Zhi, seeing the other made him completely relaxed. He bowed first and introduced himself as standard to most interviews. “Hello examiners. Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to interview me. My name is Dong Zhi and I am a named disciple of Fang Yang, the late elder of the Hezao Sect.”

“But I heard that it’s only been more than two months since you joined the Hezao Sect. Actually, less than two months?” Wu Bingtian asked.

Dong Zhi noticed that there were hints of pit in his words, and he became more cautious. “Yes. Although I have not practiced in this world for long, my enthusiasm for the Special Administration Bureau is not inferior to any other candidates.”

Long Shen flashed a smile in his eyes upon hearing his answer.

“Well, let’s talk about something else, like the difference between a hundred-year-old zombie and a thousand-year-old zombie.” The other man said, casually.

Dong Zhi heard from Kan Chaosheng that among the three Deputy Directors, Song Zhicun was the most assuming and his voice was extremely rough. As soon as the person spoke, it most assuredly confirmed his identity. After hearing his question, Dong Zhi was overjoyed as he had studied this before!

The last time he came out of the written exam, he heard other candidates complaining about the difficulty of the test questions and mentioned something about hundred-year-old zombies. After returning, he checked on the information but didn’t expect that it would be coincidentally asked here.

He spoke eloquently and said what he remembered and ended his sentence politely. “This is what I have researched, but since I have never seen them with my own eyes, it may not be accurate. Please correct me if I’m wrong, examiners.”

Song Zhicun nodded while not saying anything and looked at the others, indicating he had nothing more to ask.

The middle-aged man that Dong Zhi didn’t recognize asked, “If a very cute child that you know is being held hostage by a demon and his body is very likely to have been corrupted, what would you do?”

Long Shen suddenly said, “This is a consultant in the bureau, Taoist Master Li Rui.”

Dong Zhi hurriedly said, “Hello, Taoist Master Li. I would try to save that child first!”

Li Rui frowned slightly. “You only have one chance, so pay attention to my question. I said that he’s likely to have been corrupted by demons.”

His tendency was about to come out. Dong Zhi thought for a bit and replied, “But he’s also very likely to be safe and sound. I will weigh it based on the situation at the time. I’ll try first if I can rescue him. If it doesn’t work, then I’ll make the next move.”

Li Rui said coldly, “Those who practice cultivation must know how to judge the situation. Cut the grass to remove the roots* is not a last resort, but the best strategy. If you are too soft-hearted, you will only bring harm to yourself and others.”

*(斩草除根) Metaphor referring to remove the root of evil to avoid future problems.

Dong Zhi tried his best to make his voice sound sincere. “Taoist Master Li misunderstood. I didn’t say that I couldn’t get rid of the roots, but I want to save people before destroying the enemy. In my view, the Special Administration Bureau is more like a doctor than a policeman. Helping the poor, punishing evil, and promoting good is their duty. Isn’t our original intention to join the Bureau precisely to make this world more peaceful? If, under the circumstances at that time, the child has been corrupted and is unable to return to heaven, in order to protect more innocent people from being implicated, I would certainly not hesitate.”

Li Rui shook his head. “The Special Administration Bureau is different from the police. Of course, the police have to do their best to protect hostages, but kidnappers can only harm the hostages at best, while demons can harm the world. How do you know that when you’re sure that you need to use the next strategy, it will be too late by then? Could it be to satisfy your conscience alone, you’re willing to put the lives of other people and creatures at risk?”

Dong Zhi asked, “What Taoist Master Li mean is even if there’s a 90% chance that the hostage could be rescued, I should still act?”

Li Rui: “Even if there’s a 99% possibility, you should do it! Compared to tens of millions, how can one human life be worth it?”

Dong Zhi said again, “What if the hostage is not a child but a doctor who has saved countless people and may save more people in the future?”

The others didn’t expect that Dong Zhi, who looked harmless, would counter such a sharp argument with Li Rui. Long Shen wanted to cut the topic off, but when he thought about it, he dispelled the idea.

Li Rui’s face was completely cold. “I’m the one interviewing you, not you me!”

Dong Zhi sighed, bowed, and said respectfully, “Taoist Master Li, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cause trouble for you. What is the importance of one life compared to a hundred? This, in and of itself, has been a controversial topic through the ages. You were right to criticize me just now. I have just become a cultivator, and I’m indeed not very adapted to this identity, so I’m sorry I cannot answer your question accurately, because the truth of the matter is, when such an event arises, the situation will always be different. I can only say that this is what people of my generation should do. To be more compassionate as this is in line with what it means to call upon heavenly lightning.”

The female examiner with the elegant demeanor clapped her hands, and her applause rang loud and clear in the empty room.

Clap, clap, clap!

“Your statement just now is very good and enough to become the motto of all of us here.” The lady smiled. With her words, Li Rui’s expression remained bitter, but he no longer made any further comments. Dong Zhi realized that this lady must be higher up than him.

“Thank you!” He breathed a sigh of relief, not knowing how to address her.

Long Shen seemed to see his hesitation, and interjected. “This is Elder Zong Ling, who’s also a consultant in the Bureau.”

To be called an Elder, the other party’s age was not as young as she looks. After all, even Li Rui, who looked older than she, wasn’t referred to as an elder when introduced.

Dong Zhi quickly accepted her compliment. “Thank you, Master Zong!”

Zong Ling nodded to him with a smile.

Long Shen said, “Since you are from a traditional family, draw a talisman that you are best at.”

There was ready-made yellow paper and prepared cinnabar next to him. Dong Zhi walked to the table, held his breath, and drew a Sunlight Talisman. He did not choose to draw the Five Thunder Talisman as it was more difficult and had a lower success rate. He had already argued with one examiner just now, so it was better to not take any more risks.

The runes he drew were done in one go, and the results were pretty good. To consider it a success, it had to be done properly on the spot. From his opinion, Dong Zhi would give himself a score of 85. Of course, the requirements for the big wigs would be more stringent. The silver-haired, childlike old man spoke first, “Barely passable.”

Well, barely passable does mean passable.

Dong Zhi looked at Long Shen, who happened to cast his gaze at him. As their eyes met, Dong Zhi saw a slight smile on his face that was imperceptible. There were no traces on his face, but Dong Zhi knew he saw it.

His originally uneasy feelings due to his debate just now were completely erased, and his feelings of regret had disappeared without a trace. Dong Zhi felt that had he answered the question smoothly, he might not have been able to get this look from Long Shen and the praise from Elder Zong.

Even if he didn’t pass this time, as long as he could get that kind of reaction from the male god, he could die without regrets!

Ahhhhhhhhh, he can’t die yet. He hasn’t had time to soak it all up yet, so he won’t be able to die in peace!

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The author has something to say:

Still a long ways to go. Will there still be kisses and hugs? (～￣▽￣)～

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Kinky Thoughts:

Well, someone is certainly getting fucked, but I’m not sure Dong Zhi knows who that is just yet.

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<<< || Table of Contents || Lore Glossary || >>>

Author: 梦溪石 / Meng Xi Shi

Translator: Kinky || https://kinkytranslations.com/

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Chapter 33

The mood was very jubilant as he got along with He Yu and the others. Although Kan Chaosheng was a monster that had cultivated for hundreds of years, not only was his appearance a child’s, but he was also one at heart. Zhong Yuyi often didn’t speak much but gave off a very reliable feeling.

Though the group was noisy and often bicker, they all had a good relationship with each other. Kan Chaosheng had a poisonous mouth but still watched him all day and He Yu helped him with his practice for the thunder technique. While impatient, he still followed Dong Zhi around.

He Yu hugged Dong Zhi’s arm and cried, saying that he was going to return to the field again next week, so he had to hurry up and party while he still could. Dong Zhi was soft-hearted and, after agreeing, said he would pay for the karaoke as well.

He Yu’s face immediately did a 360 as he clapped his hands and said, “Alright comrades, there’s a local tyrant paying for the evening. We’ll bundle the night into one nice, spectacular package. What do you guys think?”

Kan Chaosheng agreed. “Go to the one two blocks away! They also have a hot and spicy crayfish buffet nearby!”

He Yu said boldly, “No problem. I’ll call ahead to make an order now!”

Dong Zhi: …

He turned his head and asked Zhong Yuyi. “Is this guy really going out into the field?”

Zhong Yu nodded after a little while. “When I was in Yunnan, I encountered a situation in the area of Fuxian Lake.”

Dong Zhi was taken aback. “Is it related to Sneaky Yaksha again?”

Zhong Yuyi: “I don’t know yet. Group three is already there. They sent a letter asking for help. For the time being, there hasn’t been any progress on Changbai Mountain, so the boss asked He Yu and Kan Chaosheng to help.”

Dong Zhi: “Isn’t He Yu’s injury not healed yet? Why don’t you send a different team?”

Zhong Yuyi: “A team has already been sent over to give a hand, but depending on the situation, they may need more help.”

Dong Zhi nodded and didn’t ask any more questions. Last time, Long Shen took a piece of his hair while he was in his office, and later it was key to saving his life. He knew Long Shen’s cautiousness, so there was no need to worry.

Eating hotpot was an all-day event as they joked and laughed around the table. From evening until nightfall, Kan Chaosheng swept away all the meat and vegetables on the table. When the waiter came back to give them the bill, his eyes bulged when he looked at the pile of empty plates stacked on the table.

In He Yu’s words, after eating, one must sing to release the accumulated energy, so everyone went to book a karaoke room. He Yu was first, and after inputting his song, he wailed and howled while interpreting the song as if he was telling his life story.

When Dong Zhi first met them on the train, the appearance of He Yu, Long Shen, and the others made him fearful and curious, but also, he felt they were amazing. While he had kept the same feelings for Long Shen, He Yu’s image has now completely crumbled. At this moment, the grating sounds that pierced his ears made his face inadvertently twitch. Just like Zhong Yuyi next to him, he had to cover his ears in silence.

Kan Chaosheng was unwilling to let He Yu hog all the attention, so he took another microphone and joined in on the wailing. He roared at He Yu, and He Yu returned his roar as they sang to the tune. Kan Chaosheng’s singing was wild and unconventional as he didn’t even know what he was yelling at. All the while, Zhong Yuyi could only cover his ears tighter and stared straight ahead in a daze with a look of helplessness.

Unable to bear it any longer, Dong Zhi grabbed the microphone in Kan Chaosheng’s hand and cut to a new song. He Yu didn’t give up making trouble as he let out a groan when he heard Dong Zhi sing in a regular manner. “Okay Xiao Dongdong. I can see you still have a hidden skill with your good singing voice. When you enter group two, you’ll represent us and show it off when there’s a singing competition in the bureau one day!”

Dong Zhi said, “Boss Long must have a much better voice than me. Why don’t you call him over to join the fun?”

He Yu shook his head like a rattler: “He’s always taking care of business, so let’s not make trouble!”

Kan Chaosheng had the same reaction. “Keep singing. Keep singing. We’re not returning until we’re drunk!”

Dong Zhi wondered if they were up to something behind Long Shen’s back. Suddenly, his phone screen lit up, and he saw that it was a message from his old friend.

The old friend asked: [How is it? Have you confessed yet?]

Dong Zhi: […Not yet.]

Old friend: [If you’re a man, you must be brave or else I’ll look down on you!]

Dong Zhi: [I have been busy preparing for the exam these days, how can I have time to consider this? What stimulated you today?]

Old friend: [How did you know? I went to try to get back with my ex-girlfriend, but she refused…]

Dong Zhi’s forehead twitched. His friend came from a well-off family and, in the eyes of others, was considered a rich second generation. His appearance and education weren’t bad either. Such conditions should make any girl starry-eyed, and this was indeed the case from his childhood to adulthood. Countless girls had chased him, so he only had his eyes on the cream of the crop. He would usually date a girl for less than three months, but this time he didn’t expect to fall deeply in love.

Dong Zhi had a bit of schadenfreude hearing about his situation. It seemed that he had finally been taught a lesson and would clean up his act in the future so he wouldn’t play with others’ hearts so easily. This should teach him a vigorous lesson.

Suddenly, he got another message.

Long Shen: [How is your practice on the thunder technique going?]

Oh my god! The male god took the initiative to text me!

It was such a rare event. Dong Zhi didn’t care about relishing in his old friend’s misery anymore. He hurriedly reported the progress of his practice and was concerned if the male god had eaten yet and if he should bring something back for him.

Long Shen replied: [Thank you, but no need. Are He Yu and those guys with you?]

His indifference was the norm, but it was surprising that Dong Zhi caught a glimpse of his carefulness under this indifference.

Dong Zhi: [We are doing karaoke. Would you like to join?]

Long Shen: [Turn off the music and make my voice message public.]

Dong Zhi: ???

He was perplexed about why he said it. He Yu was still roaring into the mic when suddenly the music stopped. “My heart is broken—”

Long Shen’s voice pierced coldly through the room: “Everyone come back for a meeting.”

He Yu: “—Can’t shed a tear…”

He suddenly turned his head to look at Dong Zhi. “We all turned off our phones. Why are you still leading the wolf into the room!”

Dong Zhi said innocently, “Just now, Boss Long asked me to put his voice message on speaker. I didn’t know what he was going to say.”

Kan Chaosheng clung to the sofa and refused to let go as he angrily said, “I’m not leaving! I’m not going to a meeting! I hate them the most! They’ve been talking forever and yet there are still no results!”

He Yu lifted up his bear backpack and said sadly, “Son, as soon as dad leaves, I don’t know how long he’ll be back. Dad doesn’t want to be separated from you!”

Dong Zhi: “…You two have a good time.”

Zhong Yuyi murmured, “If we have a meeting this late, it’ll definitely be all night again!”

He Yu and Kan Chaosheng were silent for a moment before they started wailing again. Dong Zhi and Zhong Yuyi glanced at each other and sighed at the same time. Regardless of their howling that could tear apart the sky, in the end, they obediently went back for the meeting. Dong Zhi wanted to go with them, but he was an outsider, so he couldn’t even go past the gate of the Special Administration Bureau. Instead, he went back to the dormitory alone to rest.

When he got back, he turned on his computer and logged into his social media account. His comic series has been gaining popularity, and there were already thousands of comments below and nearly 10,000 retweets. Most of the comments were devoted to saying how interesting his stories were. There were some that said while they were afraid to read it, they couldn’t help themselves, and others talked about their own supernatural experiences.

He browsed the comments and picked some to reply to, then turned off his computer and continued staring at his semi-completed work.

Long Shen’s eyes are beautiful, and his figure could be said to be the same. Some were just truly blessed by the heavens, and Long Shen undoubtedly fit the bill. But because of this, it was hard for Dong Zhi to even begin to draw him.

He recalled bit by bit that Long Shen had double eyelids and his eyes were the perfect normal size. These shapes and contours were easy to draw, but what was difficult was capturing the charm in his eyes. After sketching several drafts, he was still dissatisfied and finally gave up again.

Dong Zhi became depressed and even started to doubt himself and his abilities as an artist. His professional skills were completely reduced to scum in front of the male god.

The time was closely approaching midnight, but it seemed as if the meeting hadn’t adjourned yet. He picked up his phone and sent a message to He Yu and Kan Chaosheng separately, but he didn’t get a reply until after he went to brush his teeth and wash his face.

He Yu replied: [Is currently suffering. About to ascend into heaven.] An expression of godless eyes was attached to the message.

Kan Chaosheng didn’t bother even typing a message and just sent a series of crazy emojis vividly expressing his emotional breakdown.

Before Dong Zhi could reply, He Yu sent another message: [I have said the content repeatedly, but the discussion has not yielded any results. I don’t understand the significance of such a meeting?!]

Dong Zhi replied: [Is it related to the stone tablet?]

He Yu: [The General Administration Bureau is afraid of a resurgence since the last demon ambush, so they hope to find the other stone tablets as soon as possible, but there’s been no result. I just want to go back to sleep.]

Dong Zhi: [Was the meeting held by the Boss Long?]

He Yu: [No, Jiang Zhengju. He’s an ordinary person, and he’s known for liking meetings. After being transferred here, he didn’t care much about anything except performance, so he likes to hold meetings. When we heard that he wanted to hold yet another meeting, it gave us a headache.]

He kept complaining, giving the whole back history of the leaders to Dong Zhi. If what He Yu says is true, China is a vast country, and looking for stone tablets with no direction was tantamount to finding a needle in a haystack. It’s no wonder that He Yu and Kan Chaosheng were bored beyond their wits with these kinds of fruitless meetings.

It’s inevitable that any organization will always gather people who can’t do much but like to take credit. If Dong Zhi was really admitted, he’ll have to get used to the way things work in the future.

Dong Zhi suddenly thought, ‘Does Long Shen participate in these meetings seriously or is he just as disinterested as He Yu?’

Unable to keep the thought from spreading, his fingers automatically found the person in question, and he sent him a message: [Boss Long, are you still in a meeting?]

Shouldn’t he be taking care of other matters? After waiting for a while, Dong Zhi didn’t get a reply as expected. He flipped through his phone and browsed the web in boredom, eventually unknowingly falling asleep. His dreams were filled with intermittent fragments that appeared as a jumbo mess.

For a while, he dreamt that he, He Yu, and Kan Chaosheng were doing karaoke when suddenly a large number of zombies rushed into the room from outside. However, they were stunned by the wailing from Kan Chaosheng’s “singing”.

Then he dreamt that he was standing under a tree and was confessing to Long Shen, but Long Shen had rejected him with a cold face, saying he had someone he had liked for a long time. Suddenly, He Yu appeared out of nowhere and Long Shen hugged him as they walked away, leaving him standing flabbergasted.

After a while, he returned to the enchantment around Liuhua Ancient Bridge. He was desperately running from a group of monsters who had transformed into people from the Republic of China. They were chasing after him, and as their long fingernails were about to pierce the back of his neck, a hand suddenly stretched out from the darkness and grabbed the monster’s wrist, then grabbed his arm as it ran forward with him.

In the blink of an eye, his frightening escape had turned into reassuring warmth. Dong Zhi panted heavily as he ran for his life, but he couldn’t help but turn his head to look at the person who was holding onto his arm. It just so happened the other party was looking at him as well, showing a cold expression that had a trace of a smile as he said, “It’s me.”

“Boss Long, I…” The roaring of the monsters behind him indicated that they were getting closer. There was no time to panic, despite that he was at death’s gate, yet his mood was extremely calm.

“You don’t need to say it. I know everything.” Long Shen said, then he put his arms around his waist and shouted. “Jump!”

Before Dong Zhi could react, his body had already fallen violently! Suddenly, he opened his eyes!

The sky was already bright outside when he looked out the window. After dreaming all night, the back of his head felt dull and painful. He turned over lazily, then suddenly froze. He put his hand into his blanket, fumbled for a while, and blinked a few times. Suddenly, he felt wide awake as he showed an expression of disbelief.

After calming himself down, Dong Zhi covered his face with a groan. His dream wasn’t even close to amorous, yet his body showed a very honest reaction. When he was talking to his old friend, he still held onto a glimmer of hope, but now he had to admit it to himself. He seemed to really have ambiguous thoughts about the male god.

When he turned on the phone, he found that Long Shen had sent him a reply around 1 AM: [The meeting has been adjourned. Rest early. Good night.]

Such a matter-of-fact message seemed so serious that he couldn’t be serious anymore. He stared at the message for a few seconds before the corner of his mouth raised a little. He assumed Long Shen was still resting, so he didn’t want to bother him. Instead, he sent a message to his old friend: [I finally confirmed my feelings for him.]

The old friend quickly replied: [Feelings?]

Dong Zhi: [I admire and worship him, but I also want to fuck him too.]

Old friend: [Don’t just say it, do it!]

I’m afraid it’s not that easy. Dong Zhi chuckled, then put down his phone and got up to wash his face. Halfway through brushing his teeth, he came to a shocking realization. He and Long Shen barely know anything about each other. With the situation he’s in now, his feelings have moved from confused to secretly having affection.

Dong Zhi looked at himself in the mirror with a tangled expression. Suddenly, he smiled. It doesn’t make sense that if you suddenly like the other person, they would immediately like you back. Isn’t love all about taking the initiative? He also has the best news. Long Shen doesn’t have a girlfriend as of now.

What was the saying? A strong girl is afraid of entanglement*. Similarly, strong men should be afraid too, right?

*(烈女怕缠郎) Refers no matter how strong a woman is, she’s afraid of the constant chase, and will eventually be conquered by the man. As long as you have the heart, you can still catch up with goddess-like characters.

But it was too early to think about this. If he couldn’t be shortlisted for the interview, everything would be all for naught.

Well, Dong Zhi, you can do it*!

*Clarity: He’s saying jiayou (加油) basically pumping himself up.

The reflection in the mirror curled its eye and a beautiful smile appeared.

Two days later, He Yu and Kan Chaosheng went on a business trip, and he wasn’t sure when they would be back. Zhong Yuyi has a dull temperament and doesn’t like to play around. What’s more, he and Long Shen were still busy with work, so Dong Zhi didn’t bother them. He had been preparing for his interview and, during his spare time, worked on his comic series and interacted with his readers. Thus, time passed by quickly and life was comfortable.

He Yu hadn’t once moved back into his dorm, so Dong Zhi decided to make it his own and arranged everything neatly. There were a few small potted plants placed on the small balcony, and a goldfish bowl was next to them. Two black and white goldfish were inside, living as leisurely as their owner. He printed out two landscape paintings he drew and bought a picture frame to hang them on the wall to add some furnishings that gave off a bit more warmth to his life. He Yu had visited him once and thought he had gone to the wrong place at that time.

One day, while Dong Zhi was painting, He Yu called him. He picked it up and said, “Hey buddy, how are things going? I was afraid of interrupting your work, so I didn’t reach out for a while.”

He Yu said, “The results have been announced. Did you know?”

Dong Zhi was busy painting Long Shen’s hair, so what He Yu said didn’t register with him, so he casually asked, “What results?”

He Yu was speechless. “The written exam results! How can you even forget this?”

Dong Zhi instantly became excited. “It’s announced? Weren’t they going to notify me by text?”

As soon as he finished speaking, he remembered that he had received a text message in the morning but thought it was spam, so he ignored it.

He Yu: “Don’t rush to check it. I already know your ranking. The total number of candidates this year was 156; a new record, but only 30 were shortlisted for the interview. Do you want to know where you’re ranked?”

Dong Zhi said, as his voice trembled, “It’s not the 31^st place, right?”

He Yu said solemnly, “Xiao Dongdong, do you know why so many people are taking exams this year? Because those who failed the exam in previous years keep coming back. After a few years, the number of people will obviously increase. Many of them have even passed the written exam, but they were brushed off for the interview portion.”

Dong Zhi’s heart sank a little bit. “So I can’t get into the interview?”

He Yu: “Well…”

Dong Zhi strengthened his spirits and comforted He Yu. “Don’t worry. I won’t be discouraged. If I’m not good enough this year, I’ll definitely retake it next year.”

He Yu: “If you take the exam again next year, I will not want you anymore!”

Dong Zhi: ???

He Yu: “Because you scored first place on the written exam!”

Dong Zhi: …

He Yu laughed loudly on the other end of the line, knowing he had successfully teased him. “You know, you got 20 points higher than second place! Alright, Xiao Dongdong, you have given the Hezao Sect a lot of face. If shifu and shishu knew about it, they would be incredibly happy. Cheng Hui didn’t pass the exam last year, but this year we’ll finally be able to raise our heads high!”

Hearing about his deceased teacher made Dong Zhi a bit depressed. “When I finally join, I will go back to Mount Hezao one day and give good news to my master.”

He Yu yawned. “Shishu doesn’t care about such formalities. It’s enough that you have this kind of intention!”

Dong Zhi sensed exhaustion in his words. “How is it on your side? Is it difficult?”

He Yu: “It’s okay. A person just disappeared a few days ago.”

Dong Zhi was taken aback. “So serious? Is he from the Special Administration Bureau?”

He Yu snorted, “Someone from the Southwest Branch. I won’t talk about it anymore since it’s confidential. I’m calling this time because I have something important to tell you.”

Dong Zhi said cautiously, “You’re not teasing me again, are you?”

He Yu said angrily, “How can I be so blasé?!”

Dong Zhi: “Okay, okay, then tell me.”

He Yu: “I have been out and about these days and have no time to play games. I can’t participate in group battles, city battles, and qualifying battles every weekend. Go onto my account and help play for me.”

Dong Zhi: “…Didn’t you say that you have something important to say?”

He Yu said confidently, “This is related to my equipment score and my overall ranking number. Isn’t this important?”

Dong Zhi was patient and good-tempered, but even he couldn’t help rolling his eyes before hanging up. Not long after he hung up, He Yu sent him a string of text messages full of  “wuwuwu”. He didn’t know whether to laugh or cry and directly ignored them, instead checking his text message for his score results.

He quickly found the notification that was mixed in with a bunch of advertisement text messages. It showed: [Hello candidates who participated in the 2017 National Special Administrative Service Civil Servant job application exam. Your results have been announced. Your total score is 157. 80 points for your administrative abilities, and 77 points for your multiple choice score. To qualify for the interview examination, please report to the Special Administration Service Bureau with valid documents from July 20^th to the 21^st.]

Ahhhhhhhhhhh!

Dong Zhi was so happy that he hugged his phone and kissed it several times. He had heard He Yu say that, according to the written exam in previous years, a score of 110 was already considered really high. He had gotten a score of 157, which had broken the written exam record for the Special Administration Bureau over recent years!

Dong Zhi put his hands on his waist, raised his head, and laughed out loud. “Mortals! Kneel down before me!” After speaking, he felt that he was making a fool of himself and got carried away, so he quickly stuffed those feelings back inside his body.

The result made Dong Zhi feel that his studying and efforts within these past few months have not been in vain. His high scores made him happy and gave him a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction. With this score, he could calmly enter the doors of the Special Administration Bureau, and even if he performed poorly in the interview, the examiners, for the sake of his high score on the written test, may open the net and let him in.

It was certainly good to have an ordinary and stable life in one’s lifetime, but it was also not bad to have the ability to fight and slay demons with your friends. Dong Zhi once thought that he was average and hardworking and would go on to live a normal yet mediocre kind of life, but one day he ran into the opportunity to choose a different path.

When he returned from Guangzhou, Dong Zhi went to investigate Xu Wan. He found that she resigned from her job after getting married. When she gave birth to her daughter, her husband disliked her daughter’s congenital illness and filed for divorce. After the divorce, she took her daughter and moved away, where she found a job. She was a low-key woman and had a gentle temperament, which made her extremely popular. Many men had tried to court her and some even wanted to marry her, but Xu Wan remained single for the sake of her daughter. About half a year ago, she suddenly left her job, cut off all contact with her acquaintances, and disappeared with her daughter. Not long after that, was when Dong Zhi met her on the train.

He Yu and the others speculated that Archfiends like to take fancy in people like Xu Wan, who had monotonous interpersonal relationship. It completely eroded her and swallowed her whole while making Tongtong into its puppet. Using Xu Wan as its skin, it used Tongtong to lower its prey vigilance as it hunted. People tend to be wary of strong and big men, but rarely did they put up their guard against a woman and a child. Furthermore, they may even become sympathetic when they hear about Tongtong’s autism, like Dong Zhi. With their guard lowered, it gives the Archfiend a good chance to take advantage of them.

But there was nothing wrong with Xu Wan and Tongtong. She was a mother who didn’t hesitate to change cities and start her life again, all for the sake of her child. Just because she was weak and easily deceived, she had become a target for demons.

As an ordinary person, Dong Zhi would very likely retreat or avoid, choosing to protect himself first, but now he’s given a chance to become unordinary, who could protect innocent lives like those similar to Xu Wan and Tongtong. He couldn’t let others fall prey to demons and this was his motivation to keep moving forward.

Of course, there was another reason that encouraged him as well. When his thoughts wandered to Long Shen, Dong Zhi sent him a message. He first talked about his achievement and expressed his gratitude to Long Shen. As thanks for his guidance during this time, he wanted to invite him to a meal and hoped that Boss Long would give him some face this time.

Long Shen replied to him very quickly this time: [Congratulations. Alright, I’ll see you at the Forest Teahouse at 7 tonight.]

The message was straightforward and concise.

So does this mean he agreed?

Dong Zhi rolled around on the bed with his phone in his arms as various thoughts began circulating in his mind. It was out of the question to confess right now. After all, he had just passed the written test, and there was no sign of anything happening yet. Furthermore, Long Shen was a dignified Deputy Director, and the status between the two was very broad. If his confession was rejected, it may even have affected his interview, which would be quite tragic.

But he can still at least test the other party’s feelings, such as whether he would be open to a gay relationship, or if he would be grossed out if a man confesses to him.

Won’t this be too straightforward, though? Men still had to rely on their own charm, so to speak. If he was able to pass the entrance exam, Dong Zhi would at least clear the external charm, so the only problem left would be his inner charm.

Perhaps he could talk about topics that could move the other party, such as games. Forget it… Bringing up such a topic would only remind the male god about deducting wages. What about 350 an hour? …That seemed like a topic only He Yu would like. Or perhaps they should talk about gourmet food? It seemed to be something Kan Chaosheng was into, and he wasn’t sure if Long Shen had similar feelings.

Chasing someone was really a technical job. Dong Zhi found when he was chased by others, there was no fluctuation in his heart, but now that it was his turn to do the chasing, he felt that he didn’t know where to even start.

---

The author has something to say:

A small theater that has nothing to do with the text:

Long Shen: What is 350 an hour?

He Yu: ………Uh, this is a, um, very esoteric math problem that is more complex than subduing zombies…

Long Shen: Shall I deduct your wage?

He Yu: (Staring at the face of death*) It’s the cheapest price an hour for a “service”.

*(视死如归) Idiom describing a person who is brave and not afraid of death.

Long Shen: Oh, your salary’s been deducted.

He Yu: Who told you? Dong Zhi! I won’t let this go, even if I become a ghost!!!

Dong Zhi sneezed.

---

Kinky Thoughts:

The chase commences.

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<<< || Table of Contents || Lore Glossary || >>>

Author: 梦溪石 / Meng Xi Shi

Translator: Kinky || https://kinkytranslations.com/

---

Chapter 32

Cartoon images are much easier to draw than realistic versions. With a few strokes, everyone’s charm could be sketched out, and then appropriately exaggerated. Each character’s unique attributes jump out on paper, making it difficult for people to forget. Dong Zhi became more excited and started drawing four-grid comics while giving everyone a fictitious name. He then retouched the pictures and uploaded them to his social media account.

His social media account was originally used to post original artwork from <The Great Wasteland>. Although he didn’t verify his account, his post was often retweeted several times by the official <The Great Wasteland> account that eventually, over the past few years, many gamers recognized that he was the main artist for the game. When he posted his resignation, many of the comments were full of regrets.

Dong Zhi posted the comic and couldn’t think of a good name for it, so he simply and crudely wrote: [The Incident Book of the Relevant Department for Subduing and Eliminating Demons]. Finally, drowsiness had caught up with him. He turned off the computer, laid down, and shortly fell asleep.

In the days that followed, his life was simple. He was either practicing his talisman technique on the rooftop or drawing comics in the dorm.

He not only drew himself but also included He Yu and the others. He Yu liked his style and expressed his joy at becoming the protagonist of the comic. He also took the initiative to provide some jokes and plotlines and urged Dong Zhi to update daily. Zhong Yuyi had also shown great interest in it. Kan Chaosheng was extremely dissatisfied with his character, seeing that it was a cat instead of a more majestic creature. Eventually, he coerced Dong Zhi to change him into a dragon, saying that even if he couldn’t be one in reality, it’d still be a good addition to his comic!

As for Long Shen… Dong Zhi didn’t bother harassing him with such trivial matters, as a Deputy Director already has enough on his plate.

The response to his comic was a bit unexpected. Originally, he only drew it for fun and the comments were cute and jocular, but gradually, his comics were retweeted and spread and attracted more readers, causing the number of his fans to increase at a rapid pace.

The story he uploaded today was provided by He Yu. It was a case that he encountered when he was an intern at the Northwest Branch.

There was a girl who often had strange dreams. At first, she didn’t pay much attention to it, until later, when she discovered that her dreams were prophetic. For example, one day she dreamed that there was a fire in the local area, and after a few days, a fire really did break out in the area that she dreamed it would. Another incident was when she dreamed that her classmate would get into a car accident, which was soon realized shortly after.

After a few times, the girl started to believe that she had this ability. Then one day, she dreamt that her father was pushed down the stairs and was seriously injured. When she woke up, she was frightened and told her father about her dream. Her father didn’t believe her and thought she was making a fuss. In the end, she had no choice but to follow her father around to ensure that nothing bad would happen to him.

It happened to be the day that her father was meeting with an important business partner. The girl strongly asked to go with him, and seeing that she could not be dissuaded, the father reluctantly agreed. The girl was ecstatic and went upstairs to dress up for the occasion. They lived in a two-story duplex, and her room was on the second floor. That day, she specifically changed into a new pair of high heels that didn’t fit her well. When she walked towards the stairs, she twisted her ankle and fell forward. Her father, who happened to be standing by the side of the stairs and had his back turned to her, was inadvertently pushed down by her and died on the spot as his head hit the floor.

The girl thought that she was going to save her father, but in the end, she was the reason that misfortune fell on him in the first place. It left her in utter shock. Due to the emotional toll, her mother suffered a heart attack and followed in her father’s footsteps a few days later, decimating the girl’s entire family overnight. Burdened by these events, she felt that she was the cause of all their misery and fell into a deep depression, eventually committing suicide by jumping into a lake. Fortunately, she was recused by a master of a nearby temple.

The master had some contact with the Northwest Branch and handed the case over to them. It was eventually transferred to He Yu because no one from the branch took it seriously. To them, it seemed like just an ordinary tragedy, but He Yu had doubts. After some investigation, he learned that the father had interfered in someone else’s way, causing them to suffer a substantial financial loss that indirectly caused their wife and children to leave them. The other party wanted revenge, so he did everything possible to destroy the father’s family. He eventually found a corrupted cultivator who recruited a dream demon. The dream demon entered the girl’s dream and reversed time, clouding the girl’s memories. While she thought she dreamt of the future, in reality, the events she dreamt about had already transpired. This led her to believe that she could dream of the future and that her dreams affected the real world.

They eventually found the businessman who hired the hit and tracked down the cultivator behind the demon and subdued him.

With He Yu’s consent, Dong Zhi adapted the case into a serialized comic with a cute style that showed off the protagonists’ daily lives. While he didn’t portray the story verbatim, the plot was still terrifying yet funny and caused so much excitement from the readers that they couldn’t stop chasing it. They constantly would urge him to release more content under the comments and he was even contacted by many magazines that wanted to publish his work.

The Master of Arts, Dong Dong Qiang, hadn’t successfully joined the Relevant Department yet, but instead became popular on the internet. However, he had no plans to commercialize the comics for the time being and continued serializing them on his social media account. He doesn’t update daily, as his focus was on preparing for the exam.

Soon, two months passed in the blink of an eye, and the day for the written exam had arrived. Because it was an independent recruitment exam, the date was different every year. This year, it would be held between June and July, the hottest time in the capital.

It was said that last year’s exam time coincided with an earthquake that happened in the southwest. Demons and monsters took the opportunity to run wild, spreading chaos and panic. Many sects regarded it as a good opportunity to train their disciples, allowing them to gather more experience, so many opted to skip the exam and took the chance to exorcise demons instead. In the end, the number of candidates for the final exam was barely five, and the number of admissions was zero.

This year the weather was good. Although there was an incident involving an Archfiend, the Special Administration Bureau quickly controlled the situation, so news of it did not spread widely. There were also those who failed the exam last year and signed up to retake it again. That, in combination with new applicants, had many of the exam participants hit a record high this year.

The examination venue was on the second floor. Dong Zhi went down early and waited outside the examination room. He was not the earliest, however. There were many others who came earlier than him. Since the examination room hadn’t opened yet, many were gathered outside, and some were dressed in exotic or ethnic clothing, and some wore Taoist robes. There were people of all shapes and sizes and ages, though most were young. He found in the crowd the fox boy he met when he first arrived, when He Yu was showing him around.

The fox boy’s nervousness was easily seen on his face, making him look more like an easily frightened rabbit than a fox. He was extremely conspicuous among all the candidates. Dong Zhi took the initiative to walk over to greet him. The other party still remembered him and asked with surprise and puzzlement, “Aren’t you a staff member?”

Dong Zhi laughed. “My friend is, but I’m not. This year is also the first time I’m taking the exam.”

Fox Boy: “Great, me too! My name is Hu Shua*. How about you?”

*(胡说) Translated means bullshit.

The name was quite interesting. Dong Zhi smiled as he said, “My name is Dong Zhi, referring to the winter solstice.”

Hu Shua was a chatty person. Meeting someone that he could talk to, he immediately opened up his chatterbox. “Ah, I just started reading practice books a few days ago. The elders in my family wanted me to take the exam, saying it was a good chance. Even if I can’t pass, I can always come again next year!”

Dong Zhi nodded. “I think so too. Don’t be too nervous, just acquire experience.”

Hu Shua said with a sad face, “But the questions are so difficult. There are words I don’t even recognize.”

Dong Zhi comforted him, “I heard that the scores in the written exams are generally not highly regarded.”

Hu Shua’s eyes lit up. “Really?”

“Really?” Almost at the same time, someone else said the same response.

Dong Zhi turned his head and found a man in national clothing. The other party gave him a smile and introduced himself. “Hello, my name is Ba Sang. Tibetan. You just said that the written test is easy. Is this true?”

Dong Zhi said, “The questions are the same as on the national exam, but the scores of the candidates are generally lower than on the national exam. I’ve heard that in previous years, the admissions standards have occasionally been lowered due to insufficient admissions, but this year there are so many people, so it should be more difficult, right?”

Ba Sang scratched his hair. “Ah, I am most afraid of the written exam!”

He looked to the side again and said, “Meiren¹, how are you preparing?”

Beauty¹? Where?

Dong Zhi followed Ba Sang’s line of sight and saw a girl with beautiful eyes, but whether or not she was a beauty was a matter of different opinions. He thought Ba Sang was flirting with her, but instead he introduced her to them. “Let me introduce you. Her name is Gu Meiren¹, for the Dai tribe. She’s very good at playing the flute.”

¹Clarity: [Gu Meiren] (顾美人). [Meiren] (美人) Translated means beauty. When Ba Sang first called out, he was calling her [Meiren] (her name), but to Dong Zhi, he thought that he was calling some girl a “beauty”.

Gu Meiren nodded to them. “Hello everyone.”

Not only is her name eye-catching, but her voice was also very nice. However, her personality seems a bit cold. After everyone got acquainted with each other, they returned to discussing the exam. Hu Shua’s emotions had almost calmed down, but seeing more candidates gathered, his heart began to get anxious again.

“Do you know about the interview process? My cousin has taken the exam before, and he said that they ask questions during the interview?”

Ba Sang, who knew a bit about the interview, nodded when he heard those words. “The questions are different from the written test. The interview questions are more practical, testing your ability to respond on the spot and demonstrating what you’re best at.”

Hu Shua said nervously, “But I only know how to transform right now. Will I be able to pass?”

Dong Zhi was surprised. “Seventy-two transformations*?”

*(七十二变) Reference to Sun Wukong’s (from Journey to the West) ability where he can transform into different things.

Hu Shua laughed. “It would be great to have such a powerful ability. I only know two forms so far, and I don’t have time to train! What about you? What are your skills?”

Ba Sang and Gu Meiren were honest and had no intention of concealing their abilities. Ba Sang said that he could communicate with birds and other animals that could more or less understand him, while Gu Meiren said she could manipulate snakes with her flute.

Dong Zhi was amazed by their skills and felt that there were crouching tigers, hidden dragons¹ among their compatriots, some of whom were even from an ethnic minority. Not mentioning others, by contrast, his own technique of cramming Buddha’s feet² was difficult to master.

¹Reference to the movie referring to hiding your strength from others. 
²(时抱佛脚) Idiom referring to making a frantic last-minute effort. || He’s basically saying that while he just started a few months ago, these people have most likely been practicing their arts for years, if not all their lives.

“I only know a little bit of talisman art that I just got started with.”

Ba Sang was surprised. “Are you a person in a Taoist sect? Why not join them?”

Dong Zhi looked in the direction of his mouth and saw there were a lot of people gathered around the other end. Some of them were wearing Taoist robes or practice clothes, and others were in plain clothing.

Ba Sang said, “Some of them are from the Longhu and Maoshan Sect. I heard that they are both famous sects.”

Dong Zhi nodded. “Like thunder.”

He looked around and saw groups of twos and threes gathering outside the examination room. Everyone had their own cliques. Candidates from the Longhu Sect naturally gathered closer to each other, so most likely they came to take the exam together.

While everyone was in conversation, the bell rang and the examination room opened, which signaled the start of the exams. Everyone stopped chatting and formed a spontaneous line consciously as they went for inspection at the door.

Two young people stood at the door. One was checking everyone’s admission tickets, and the other was holding a detector scanning the candidates up and down. There was a middle-aged man standing at the door with his hands clasped behind his back, staring coldly at each of the incoming candidates.

“Do not bring irrelevant items into the exam. Abide by the orders of the examination room. All communication devices, such as cellphones, must be turned off and handed over at the podium… You, stop!”

Dong Zhi had just gotten his admission ticket back and was about to enter when he was startled as he heard this. Only when he saw that the middle-aged man’s gaze was falling behind him did he realize that the other party wasn’t talking to him.

The middle-aged man said coldly to the candidate behind him. “What do you have with you? Hand it over.”

The candidate stammered, “No, no!”

Middle-aged man: “You. Go search him.”

The staff member nodded, and as soon as he approached the person, the detector in his hand sounded.

Middle-aged man: “You want to be searched or do you want to take it out yourself?”

The candidate felt aggrieved and took out a talisman that was folded into a triangle from his body. “This is a peace talisman given to me by my mother. Do you have to confiscate this?”

The middle-aged man grabbed the talisman, took it apart without saying a word, and quickly took out a hidden talisman inside it. He squeezed it in his hand and shook it. Five white rays of light pierced out from his hand, fell onto the ground, and turned into five small white figures in the shape of children. He yelled twice, and they turned into smoke and disappeared.

Dong Zhi was stunned.

The middle-aged man sneered at the candidate, “Does your mother still let you use the five ghosts handling technique to keep you safe?”

As if the candidate was mourning the result of their exam, it seemed that they were on the verge of crying.

The middle-aged man looked around the crowd and raised his voice. “Last time a person who wanted to cheat with the five ghosts handling technique on the exam was disqualified for 30 years. If you have the mentality of using illegal methods to steal grades or test questions, I advise you to die as soon as possible! The bureau just imported this handheld detector from the United States. This kind of instrument is especially used to deal with vampires and black witchcraft over there. It’s a waste to use it on you. Even a double-sided mirror from a heaven and earth bag* can be found on you. If you don’t believe me, just you dare try!”

*Qiankun Bag (乾坤袋) It’s a bag with incredible power that is used for storage. The space can accommodate heaven and earth (thus also why it’s called the heaven and earth bag). There could even be another universe inside this bag.

The corners of Dong Zhi’s mouth twitched.

“Even if the instrument fails, my eyes are not blind!” The middle-aged man sneered again. “Now you still have a chance to throw away your cheating tools. Don’t wait to be discovered when you enter the examination room. It’s still a light sentence to be disqualified from the examination, but tread carefully so that your future children’s chances of entering the Special Administration Bureau won’t be affected. I’ll give you 30 minutes. Lose everything that should be lost!”

There was no sound in the audience, and a few people in the long line immediately left silently, presumably to get rid of what they needed to be rid of. The middle-aged man frowned and said nothing, but the candidates passing in front of him became more cautious.

Even Dong Zhi was overwhelmed and gave in to his obsessive-compulsiveness and rechecked everything he was carrying before he found a seat to sit down. There were so many people taking the exam this year that one room wasn’t enough to fit everyone, so it was divided into three rooms. The classroom Dong Zhi was in had over sixty seats, which shows how fierce the competition was this year.

After the middle-aged man’s warning, all the candidates became extremely honest, and the talkative people quickly shut up. Everyone obediently sat in their seats waiting for the paper to be handed out. Soon the written exam started.

All the tension was released the moment Dong Zhi got his paper. Seeing the dense topics, he didn’t have time to get nervous as he picked up his pen and started working on his test. Time passed by in a flash, and he triple-checked his paper before handing it in. There were ten minutes left before the exam was over, and no one had handed in their paper in advance. When he got up and walked to the podium, he drew a lot of surprise and envious gazes, which made him feel more confident.

The multiple-choice exam was conducted in the early morning, and there were still the free response questions in the afternoon. Dong Zhi hurried back to the dorms for a meal and rested. In the early afternoon, he arrived outside the examination room for the second portion. There were a lot of people gathered around as usual. Dong Zhi looked for Hu Shua and Ba Sang in the crowd while listening to the conversations around him. Not surprisingly, people were discussing their answers. Some were excited, while others were distraught. It seemed that no matter whether you were an ordinary person or a practitioner, as the fate of a candidate, they were all the same.

The unprepared and completely going in blind type: “The exam this morning was so difficult! I didn’t even understand how to read the questions, let alone choose the right answer. I can only guess. I listened to my cousin, who told me to choose C if I didn’t know it. Apparently, the accuracy is higher with that letter.”

The last-minute cramming type: “I saw this question on the question bank last night, but I didn’t pay attention to the answer. Who would have thought it would really be on the test!”

The complaining type: “Hey, why is the exam so strict this year? There weren’t any detectors last year. The most unfortunate thing is that I forgot to bring my Pure-Heart Mantra* before I left. It was written by my master specifically for me. It made me upset all morning that I couldn’t answer the questions. I definitely failed this time!”

*Qingxin Mantra/Universal Mantra (清心咒) Created by later generations of Buddhist scriptures. Reciting it can clear one’s mind and calm you down. It can remove vexation and stop evil.

The skeptical type: “What harm can a magnetic resonance imaging system cause the human body? What kind of shit is this? How would I know! Why aren’t there questions like what a century-old zombie will do to human beings?! Isn’t there someone in charge of the topics? Are they deliberately trying to make us fail?!”

Dong Zhi didn’t know whether to laugh or cry as he walked through the crowd. He finally found Ba Sang and the others, who were in the midst of discussing the written exam.

Dong Zhi could only say, “Let it pass and ignore it. If you keep finding your answers are wrong, it’ll affect your mood for the written exam later. This will affect your performance.”

Hu Shua’s whole fox body wilted. “I’m afraid I won’t be able to answer any questions in the afternoon.”

Everyone hurriedly comforted him. Even Gu Meiren said that she didn’t do well this morning. If the general average wasn’t good, the admission standard would definitely be lowered, which gave Hu Shua some hope and he recovered.

The written exam was all subjective questions, and the results were based on the biases of the examiners. For the same answer, some may give one point more, while others may give one point less. This was something that couldn’t be controlled by the candidates, so they could only honestly answer to the best of their abilities. As long as the basic points are met, the score won’t deviate too much.

While he didn’t hand in his papers in advance for the afternoon exam, he still thought he did well. As he walked out of the examination room, a figure flew past him as he was wailing. When Dong Zhi reacted, he found that it was Hu Shua, but his figure had already disappeared.

Kan Chaosheng was waiting for him outside, staring intently at Hu Shua and only reluctantly retracted his gaze when Hu Shua completely disappeared from sight. He then heard Kan Chaosheng lick his lips and say, “His original form must be very fat, tender, and delicious.”

Dong Zhi: …

He quickly changed the subject. “Do you know when the score will be released?”

Kan Chaosheng said, “Within a week. You should prepare for the interview first.”

Dong Zhi walked out with him, but was stopped by someone.

“Fellow Taoist, you dropped your pen.”

Turning his head around, Dong Zhi saw a tall and thin young man standing behind him. When he saw that the other party was holding onto his pen, he quickly thanked him and took it back. The other party suddenly said, “Are you Dong Zhi?”

Being keen, Dong Zhi immediately noticed that he said, “Are you Dong Zhi” instead of “What’s your name”.

“Do you know me?” He smiled at the young man.

The other party raised his eyebrows, looked at him up and down, and suddenly smiled. “So that’s really all you are.”

The sudden hostility made Dong Zhi feel inexplicable.

The other party introduced himself. “My name is Liu Qingbo.” Without waiting for Dong Zhi to reply, he quickly left after speaking.

Dong Zhi: ???

He turned his head and asked Kan Chaosheng. “Who is this person?”

Kan Chaosheng said, “Liu Qingbo. His mother is a descendant of the Hmong people and can use poison*. His father is a descendant of a sword master in the Republic of China. He went to Taiwan first before going overseas. He has roots on both sides and has made some contributions to the civil exchanges before, so his impression is good. If there are no issues, it’s almost certain that he’ll join.”

*Gu (蛊) a venom-based poison associated with cultures of South China. See lore for details.

Dong Zhi asked casually, “Even if he doesn’t score well on the written test?”

Kan Chaosheng showed him a “stupid human” expression, and Dong Zhi immediately understood. It seems that walking through a backdoor is prevalent anywhere.

Dong Zhi asked, “Why did he seem to be very hostile to me just now?”

Kan Chaosheng said coldly, “He knows that you admire the boss and want to be his apprentice, so he treats you as his competitor!”

“He also admires the boss and wants to be his apprentice?”

“When the boss was fighting with the bone dragon on Changbai Mountain, did you know that he was already injured?”

Dong Zhi nodded. “He Yu had mentioned it.”

Kan Chaosheng said, “That injury happened last year. Liu Qingbo was young and vigorous. I didn’t know how he found out, but he heard that there were dragons in the Yangtze River, and he attracted a golden-beard Aoyu*. The Aoyu had cultivated over 800 years—older than me, and was almost able to turn into a dragon, but its opportunity was interrupted by him. That made it extremely angry. At that time, the boss happened to pass by doing business and noticed the water pulses changing. He rushed over and saved Liu Qingbo in the nick of time. He suffered an injury during the fight that left some residual damage. He was almost healed, yet who knew that he would run into a bone dragon, and later have to use telepathy to save you.”

*(鳌鱼) Translation varies but it’s a legendary aquatic creature (turtle/fish seems to be the agreed upon) that has the head of a dragon. See lore for details.

Dong Zhi never expected that there was such a piece of detail. When he heard the entire story, he couldn’t help feeling guilty.

“Then how is he doing now?” Thinking of Long Shen’s uncharacteristic performance these past few days, Dong Zhi felt that he was being overwhelmed with guilt.

Kan Chaosheng shrugged. “It’s not a big problem, but he needs to recuperate. I hope nothing major will happen during this time, or he’ll have to act even if he doesn’t want to.”

“What about the Aoyu? Dead?”

Kan Chaosheng let out a sigh.

Dong Zhi couldn’t help but say, “But it was obviously Liu Qingbo who went to provoke it first and broke its practice!”

“There was no other choice. The Aoyu refused to stop and wanted to create floods around the area to dispel the hatred in his heart. If he were allowed to succeed, it’d inevitably cause massive destruction. The boss could only make this decision.”

In the end, it was Liu Qingbo who caused the trouble, but Long Shen was the one who had to clean up the mess. Dong Zhi curled his lips and lost any remaining goodwill towards this person.

However, personal feelings should be kept separate in private, and Dong Zhi knew this clearly. With Long Shen’s status, even if he accepts apprentices, he will never receive a bunch like they were wholesale, but most likely pick only one. Since he saved Liu Qingbo’s life, he must be deeply grateful and respect Long Shen, and he had that background to back him up. Compared to Dong Zhi, Long Shen would most likely be more inclined to accept Liu Qingbo than him, who had just stepped into the ranks of a cultivator and had a weak foundation.

Thinking about this, he immediately felt a strong sense of crisis. If he doesn’t work harder, his wish to become the male god’s apprentice would be for naught!

Kan Chaosheng saw Dong Zhi walking in a daze, so he stretched out his hand and poked him and said impatiently, “How come you are picking up habits from Zhong Yuyi! Hurry up!”

“Where are we going?”

“He Yu wants to celebrate your completion of the exam, so we’re going to have a big meal and then go karaoke!”

“But I still have the interview.”

“Then we can have another big meal after that too!”

You just want to eat!

Despite thinking that, Dong Zhi quickened his pace to match Kan Chaosheng’s. He had been reviewing nervously the entire time and needed to unwind.

He Yu said that in order to celebrate his completion of the written exam, he was going to take everyone to a hotpot restaurant. Zhong Yuyi also joined. When Dong Zhi arrived, they had already ordered a lot of side dishes and a mandarin duck pot.

Dong Zhi was now familiar with Zhong Yuyi. Although he rarely spoke and was usually distracted, Dong Zhi found that he got along quite well with him. What’s more, compared to Liu Qingbo, Zhong Yuyi, who was also an admirer of Long Shen, was obviously a hundred times cuter.

“How was the exam, Xiao Dongdong? Do you want me to ask the boss to open a backdoor for you?” He Yu teased.

“The boss doesn’t review the paper exams. If you go ask him, you’ll only get beaten!” Kan Chaosheng tore down the wall without hesitation.

“The boss won’t beat him. He’ll just deduct his salary and vacation.” It was rare that Zhong Yuyi was acting normally today. He didn’t look like he was sleepwalking as he picked up a piece of meat and dipped it into the spicy hotpot.

Kan Chaosheng laughed. “You’re telling the truth!”

He Yu rolled his eyes and hugged Dong Zhi’s shoulders. “Don’t listen to them! It’s just a written test. I have confidence in you! In order to celebrate your smooth passage, let’s go karaoke after dinner. Zhong Yuyi is also invited!”

Zhong Yuyi swallowed the meat before slowly saying, “Why am I invited?”

He Yu said confidently, “Because your salary hasn’t been deducted recently, I’ll help you find a way to spend your money!”

Dong Zhi chuckled. “Is it a tradition to have your wage deducted for doing something wrong?”

If this was the case, then would his salary go into the negative every month?

Kan Chaosheng sneered, “Only He Yu is like this. We’re not like him who messes up all day long!”

He Yu scoffed, “I made mistakes because I do more work, which shows that the boss respects me!”

Zhong Yuyi: “It’s because the boss knows that you play games all day long and don’t work that deducting your wage is the most direct and effective means.”

Dong Zhi watched them bicker cheerfully, and the tension after the exam had been wiped away. He felt relaxed and lazy.

“I’ll pay for it tonight as thanks to you during this time. My thunder technique wouldn’t have improved so fast without your help. Just order whatever you want to eat!” He waved his hand, giving off an aura of a local tyrant.

He Yu: “Big brother, please let me hug your thigh!”

Kan Chaosheng turned his head and called out. “Waiter, add 10 servings of sweet potato, 10 servings of Australian beef, 10 servings of shrimp…”

Dong Zhi jokingly shouted, “Hey, hey!”

---

Kinky Thoughts:

Gu/Poison (蛊)

Is a venom-based poison associated with cultures of south China, particularly Nanyue. The traditional preparation of gu poison involved sealing several venomous creatures (e.g., centipede, snake, scorpion) inside a closed container, where they devoured one another and allegedly concentrated their toxins into a single survivor, whose body would be fed upon by larvae until consumed. The last surviving larva held the complex poison. Gu is used in black magic practices such as manipulating sexual partners, creating malignant diseases, and causing death. According to Chinese folklore, a gu spirit could transform into various animals, typically a worm, caterpillar, snake, frog, dog, or pig.

See the Wikipedia for deeper details.

—

Aoyu (鳌鱼)

Legendary aquatic creature (turtle/fish). Legend has it that in ancient times, gold and silver carps wanted to jump over the dragon gates and fly into the clouds and ascend the sky to transform into dragons, but they swallowed the dragon balls in the sea and could only turn into a fish body with a dragon’s head, giving them the name Aoyu.

Male Aoyu have golden scales with a gourd tail, while female Aoyu has silver scales with a hibiscus tail.

This is what they supposedly look like.

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<<< || Table of Contents || Lore Glossary || >>>

Author: 梦溪石 / Meng Xi Shi

Translator: Kinky || https://kinkytranslations.com/

---

Chapter 31

Dong Zhi drowsiness was instantly wiped away and he shouted, “How did you get in?!”

Kan Chaosheng: “You forgot to lock the door. I didn’t get an answer when I knocked, so I opened it!”

Dong Zhi let out a sigh, scratched his head, and got up. “There are dried fish in the drawer, so you can help yourself.”

Kan Chaosheng rolled his eyes and said disdainfully, “Why do you think I would want dried fish? I’m not a cat spirit!”

Dong Zhi casually said, “Then a tiger spirit?”

Kan Chaosheng said angrily, “You’re a tiger spirit! Your whole family is a tiger spirit! Laozi’s body is very powerful! How could I be compared to such a low-level beast like a tiger spirit!”

Seeing him infuriated, Dong Zhi suppressed his smile and humbly asked, “Then what are you?”

Kan Chaosheng tilted his chin. “Guess!”

Dong Zhi said, “Since your name is related to water, your true form should be a creature of the water. You also like to eat very much, but He Yu said you are not gluttonous. Perhaps a turtle? A salamander? A golden toad? A dragon? Hmm… or is it a jiao*?”

*(蛟) Dragon in Chinese mythology often referred to as a “scaled” dragon that is hornless and aquatic. See lore for details.

He quickly got his answer based on the change in Kan Chaosheng’s expression. Dong Zhi said in surprise, “So you’re really a jiao?”

Kan Chaosheng snorted but acted tsundere and didn’t answer.

A dragon with horns was a dragon, while a hornless dragon was a jiao. Legends had it that a jiao, before going through a calamity, was inferior in strength to that of a dragon. But of course, these were, after all, just legends. The existence of this kind of creature was as ethereal as a dragon and had never been confirmed to exist.

Since he didn’t answer, Dong Zhi assumed he had acquiesced. He let out a sigh and asked, “Is there really a jiao in the world?”

Kan Chaosheng looked displeased. “You have even seen a dragon, so why ask such a question?”

Dong Zhi smiled and said, “But it wasn’t a living dragon. If you are truly a jiao, then you’re a living legend and I will need to take a look at you in your original form to confirm!”

Though Kan Chaosheng has a bit of a temper, he’s also easy to get along with. As long as you feed him and smooth his hair, you’ll eventually be able to find his soft spot. Dong Zhi had now successfully reached that spot. Sure enough, there was a hint of blush on his face as he exuded an arrogant aura.

Dong Zhi asked curiously, “Then why do you usually become a cat?”

“This floor is not big enough to fit my body. Besides, turning into a cat can reduce the vigilance of humans. Don’t you all like weak animals?”

“Won’t your combat abilities be weakened? If you had transformed your body on Changbai Mountain, that would’ve been a very majestic sight, right?”

Kan Chaosheng curled his lips. “That place is a scenic area, and one dragon was enough. I will transform again, and when that time comes, there’ll be hell to pay. I will clean up all the mess and settle accounts with every department that has beef with us!”

Dong Zhi nodded and was convinced. He knew the real reason was because a jiao had an inferiority complex in front of a true dragon, even if it was just a bone dragon. These were signs of weakness that he could not say in front of Kan Chaosheng.

“Get up quickly!” Kan Chaosheng said roughly, “The boss asked me to take you to the top floor to practice!”

“You can just tell me how to get there and I’ll go by myself. That way, you can do your own thing.”

Kan Chaosheng’s nostrils flared, and he said impatiently, “You need to swipe a card to enter. You haven’t joined yet, so how do you expect to get in?”

Dong Zhi innocently replied, “But I haven’t even eaten breakfast yet. Let’s go together. I know there’s a Cantonese dim sum teahouse nearby. Their wrappers are handmade, and they are the same as those in the old town of Guangzhou. The skin is thin, and the fillings are delicious.”

Kan Chaosheng’s eyes immediately lit up, as if he would perk his ears and meow. It’s a pity that he wasn’t in the big yellow cat form, or Dong Zhi would have given him endless pets.

After breakfast, the two returned to the Special Administration Bureau, and Kan Chaosheng took Dong Zhi to the top floor. Having to climb the stairs for 32 floors made Dong Zhi doubt life.

“Has no one ever complained about the lack of an elevator? Am I the only one who is crawling up these stairs on the verge of death? Didn’t He Yu say that there are also ordinary people in logistics?”

Kan Chaosheng: “Yes, we get complaints many times a year.”

“So why don’t the people above fix it?”

“In the end, they all transferred their posts and left, saying that they would rather go to National Security than come here, but every year, fools like you are tricked into coming in, so it doesn’t matter.”

Dong Zhi gave a contemptuous look.

Kan Chaosheng said, “Didn’t you learn kung fu tona at the Hezao Sect? Climbing stairs every day is one of the practice courses.”

Dong Zhi subconsciously always regarded himself as an ordinary person. Hearing Kan Chaosheng’s words, he suddenly realized that he had already stepped a foot into the ranks of cultivators. In accordance with the way of the Hezao Sect, he slowed his breathing while climbing the stairs. Once his attention was no longer on his legs, the distance didn’t seem to be that long.

The two eventually reached the top floor, where a door to the rooftop was tightly closed. Kan Chaosheng took out his work permit, and the card machine on the wall beeped, opening the door.

“Come in.”

Dong Zhi was starry-eyed. He thought that he would see a rooftop that would be like any other ordinary commercial building, but he quickly found that his imagination was too lacking. When he stepped through the door, it was like he had leapt from the real world and entered a fantasy world.

There was green grass that grew everywhere. Sporadic waterfalls were gushing, splashing beads of water around. Lush vegetation covered the area that was filled with streams and rocks scattered around. It was like a vast and boundless scene that had no end in sight.

Such a scene could not be observed in the steel jungle of a modern city, not to mention that they were currently in the heart of Beijing.

Did they travel through time and space and come to another world?

“Are we still in Beijing?” Dong Zhi exclaimed.

Kan Chaosheng snorted, “Of course. Why are you making such a fuss? This is just an enchantment.”

“Is it an illusion?”

“No. In your own words, it is a limited space that expands infinitely.”

Dong Zhi walked to the river, bent down, and touched the water. The water flowed between his fingers, leaving them icy and cold, and the summer breeze held the aroma of fruits. These feelings felt all too real.

Dong Zhi asked, “Does everyone practice here?”

“There are several areas divided here. Group one, group two, and group three each have their own different spaces. Don’t worry about accidental injuries. I am a member of group two, so my work permit can only open the area for group two. The best thing here is that although the enchantment separates us from the real world, the qi is still connected, so the effect of cultivation is the same. For example, descend!”

He beckoned to the sky, and a dark cloud floated over their heads.

“Rain.” Kan Chaosheng said.

Suddenly, a downpour rained down, but it was limited to just the area above Dong Zhi. As soon as he raised his head, he was instantly drenched.

Dong Zhi: …

Kan Chaosheng laughed loudly.

Dong Zhi was expressionless. “Spit out all the dumplings for me.”

Kan Chaosheng made a face and said, “Hurry up and practice. I’ll be responsible for supervising you today!”

Dong Zhi saw through his intentions instantly and sighed. “You just want to wait so I can treat you to dinner, right? Originally I wanted to take you to eat grilled fish at night, but now my enthusiasm has been completely extinguished by you.”

Kan Chaosheng blinked a few times and suddenly changed his attitude. “Then why don’t I help you practice? If you can attract thunder today, you’ll treat me to grilled fish tonight.”

Dong Zhi said, “How can you help?”

“I can help you repair the talismans. Every time you use them, they will burn out, but I can restore them so you can reuse them without wasting extra time drawing new ones.”

“Okay, deal.”

Long Shen had taught him the correct posture for holding a sword while reciting his mantra. He had a good memory, so his movements weren’t bad. He was also proficient in memorizing the runes as well. Although those talismans were written by him, they’ve been certified by He Yu that they conform with the teachings, but no matter how he practiced, there was no improvement.

After the talisman ignited, it fluttered in the air and landed on the ground, completely devoid of the prestige it once had when it attracted thunder on Mount Hezao.

This situation was common. The old master had told him that He Yu could attract heavenly thunder but only once a month, and that was already considered to be genius level. He had succeeded in the initial test overnight, so naturally it was gratifying, but his heavenly thunder was unpredictable. The stronger his abilities were, the higher the success rate. Even experts like Zhang Daoling¹ and Tao Hongjing² couldn’t constantly summon heavenly lightning.

¹Chinese religious leader who lived during the Eastern Han Dynasty credited with founding the Way of the Celestial Masters sect of Taoism, which is also known as the Way of the Five Pecks of Rice, and he was the founder of Taoism.
²Chinese alchemist, astronomer, calligrapher, military general, musician, physician, pharmacologist, and writer during the Northern and Southern dynasties. A polymathic individual of many talents, he was best known as the founder of the Shangqing “Highest Clarity” school of Daoism and the compiler-editor of the basic Shangqing religious texts.

Dong Zhi wasn’t discouraged. He kept trying repeatedly for the entire morning. After the talisman ignited and turned to ashes, it was restored by Kan Chaosheng. He only needed to use two talismans in turns. Kan Chaosheng sat on a branch eating nuts, and after a while, there was a pile of shells under the tree.

“Your technique is not good. It’s not neat enough!”

“You need to recite the mantra faster. When you’re fighting a real enemy, they won’t just wait around until you finish your recitation!”

“Oi, have you not eaten? You have to channel your qi into the sword!”

During the gaps in between eating snacks, Kan Chaosheng didn’t forget to chatter while pointing at all the mountains around.

“Idiot. The tip of the sword must be up! Up!” Kan Chaosheng inarticulately yelled as his mouth was stuffed full of snacks.

Dong Zhi muttered to himself. “I wonder if I should eat hairy crabs or crayfish for dinner?”

Kan Chaosheng’s face changed faster than turning a page of a book. “Honestly, this is the first time I’ve seen such a talent like you. It is such a waste not to practice this technique. The General Administration needs you. The country needs you. The people need you!”

Dong Zhi laughed and stopped fighting with him as he began to concentrate on his practice again.

At first, there would be noises around him that would disturb him, but gradually he became immersed, and the noise outside started to quiet. Although there had been no progress for the time being, at any rate, his mood had adapted, and he wasn’t easily affected by external factors.

Long Shen swiped his card and walked through the door of the rooftop with someone behind him. From a distance, Dong Zhi’s figure could be seen standing by the stream practicing his technique.

After watching him for a moment, Wu Bingtian joked, “Do you want that kind of kid? It seems that group two is getting less picky these days.”

There was a hint of ridicule in his words, but Long Shen ignored it as he walked over with Wu Bingtian.

“Boss!” Kan Chaosheng shouted when he saw them coming over. He clapped his hands and jumped down from the tree.

Hearing Kan Chaosheng, Dong Zhi turned his head and nodded politely.

Long Shen said to him, “This is Boss Wu. He wants to take a closer look at your situation at Tianyuan Building that day.”

Wu Bingtian smiled slightly. He looked seemingly approachable, but there was a sense of distance. “We have asked He Yu, Tang Jing, and others, since we can discover different things from different viewpoints. The more comprehensive report we put together, the more it’ll help us fill in the gaps.”

He Yu had told him that there were three deputy directors in the bureau, each in charge of their own groups in the Special Administration Bureau. This Deputy Director Wu must be the leader of the first group.

Although Wu Bingtian’s facial features weren’t comparable to Long Shen’s, he wasn’t bad by any means. He had a very upright face that was a bit burly, matching his tall figure. He could be regarded as a beautiful man type.

The existence of the Archfiend must be vitally important to the Special Administration Bureau. Otherwise, they would not have taken matters so seriously and dispatched two deputy directors to personally question him.

Dong Zhi realized this and didn’t dare be sloppy. He carefully recalled the process of his acquaintance with Xu Wan as well as the situation at the Tianyuan Building, and briefly described it. There wasn’t any new information discovered, but Wu Bingtian still listened to him very seriously. At the end, he nodded and said nothing, and told him to continue practicing while he turned around and left with Long Shen.

When they reached the exit of the enchantment, they heard a muffled rumbling from overhead. The two raised their heads and saw dark clouds above, slowly converging towards Dong Zhi. In the clouds, bright light sparked, then suddenly a thick lightning bolt suddenly struck!

Kan Chaosheng yelled as he fled from under the tree, running at the speed of light. Because he was so frightened, halfway through running, he transformed into a cat and jumped several times before falling into the stream.

Within the next second, lightning struck the tree that he was sitting on right down the middle, splitting the entire tree in half. With a bang, half of the tree crashed into the ground, crushing the pile of empty nut shells that Kan Chaosheng had eaten.

The big yellow cat was extremely angry. It hissed at Dong Zhi, barring its claws and teeth. “Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow?!”

“…I don’t understand.” For the first time in his life, he found out that cats could make such grating cries.

The big yellow cat hissed at him a few times before light condensed around it, turning into spots, and eventually it returned to Kan Chaosheng’s appearance.

“Do you want to commit murder and robbery?!”

Dong Zhi said innocently, “I didn’t know that the tree would be hit.”

Long Shen and Wu Bingtian didn’t stay behind to look. They left the enchantment and went down to the lower floor.

Wu Bingtian said, “We plan to expand our search area where the mural was found last time to see if we can find the stone tablet.”

Long Shen nodded. “Then Inner Mongolia will be left to you, and I will also let the people from the Northeast Branch continue to search near Changbai Mountain.”

Wu Bingtian sighed. “Our country is so big that it is impossible to dig three feet of ground inch by inch. I hope that the Archfiend will come out and do something again. That way, we can follow its trail and find the stone tablet one step at a time. But having said that, do you think that the Archfiend is rushing towards the stone tablets to steal them or destroy them?”

Long Shen said, “If the stone tablet is really part of the talisman array, its purpose is most likely the latter. However, it’s not yet known what role the talisman array has.”

“I have asked the above to send documents to various sects to assist in finding information. Maybe I can find clues related to the stone tablets, but don’t hold out much hope. Mr. Zhang said that the runes on the stone tablet were extremely old. The Longhu Sect had rummaged through relevant materials and still found nothing for the time being.” He said this, naturally, in hopes of exchanging information with Long Shen.

Long Shen was silent for a moment before saying, “I asked He Yu to inquire about it at the Hezao Sect. Headmaster Xin said that the age of the stone tablet and the talismans on it may be before the Ming and Qing Dynasties.”

Is this nonsense? Given the abilities of the Longhu Sect, they couldn’t figure out that the talisman was before the Ming and Qing Dynasties, but the Hezao Sect did. Wu Bingtian couldn’t help feeling disappointed, but then recalled that the Hezao Sect had been on the decline since the Qing Dynasty and had suffered several turmoil that had burned many of their works. Indeed, they were overwhelmed and underpowered*.

*More than enough in the mind, but not enough strength (心有余而力不足) Saying that refers to intentionally doing something but objectively could not. Powerless.

“I’m afraid there will be follow-ups to the stone tablet incident. There are so few people in group two. I hope the Long Bureau can recruit a few more this year. It’s good to cherish feathers*, but if you’re too lofty, you’ll be misunderstood!” Wu Bingtian said with a smile.

*Metaphor for cherishing one’s reputation and acting very cautiously. || In this context, he’s mocking Long Shen for being too picky (afraid that his reputation will be spoil if he picks the wrong suborindates).

Long Shen said lightly, “Didn’t Boss Wu see one just now?”

Shit! Why did he bring this up?

Wu Bingtian wanted to scold his mother! Just now, he had followed Long Shen to the rooftop and saw Dong Zhi practicing. At first, he didn’t take him very seriously. He had a discerning eye and knew from a glance that Dong Zhi was just a novice. For such a novice, let alone being admitted to the General Administration Bureau, he wouldn’t even be able to take one step past the gate of the Longhu Sect. Who knew not long after he finished laughing at Long Shen, he was slapped in the face by a thunderbolt, and it wasn’t an insignificant one but was powerful enough to show off all its glory.

Wu Bingtian pretended that he didn’t say anything. He wanted to laugh at his opponent, yet tripped over his own feet.

He laughed awkwardly and said, “The Boss Long is really wise and knowledgeable. Why haven’t I found a newcomer of such good quality before!”

Long Shen snorted.

Wu Bingtian: …

How dare you snort? Just you wait. When you’re not looking, I’ll grab the person you like and see if you can pretend to keep calm, ah?!

Dong Zhi was unaware of the happenings between Long Shen and Wu Bingtian and how they felt about him. At this time, he was overcome with great joy at his success in attracting thunder again. After Long Shen had left, he practiced more than a dozen times and on two occasions managed to attract lightning the size as thick as his thumb. It wasn’t as powerful as the first time, but this success rate shows that he had made great progress. He was told that after he successfully attracted thunder, it would take at least another month before he could succeed again.

To reward Kan Chaosheng for helping him, Dong Zhi called He Yu and invited them both to eat crabs and crayfish. Near midnight, the three of them dragged their round bellies back. Dong Zhi couldn’t fall asleep due to eating too much, and recalling his experience today, he got overly excited again.

Before today, he had never thought that he, an ordinary otaku who had lived for more than 20 years, would one day be able to step into a mysterious and fantastical world while also obtaining abilities of his own.

The victory from today’s first battle invigorated Dong Zhi, injecting him full of motivation. He couldn’t wait for tomorrow to come so he could continue making persistent efforts and practice harder. He picked up his phone as he strolled around, wanting to send Long Shen a message but felt that it was too intrusive. Today, Boss Long came with Boss Wu to personally ask him questions that were most likely related to the stone tablet. He guessed that it must be a serious matter for them, and Long Shen must be too busy right now to care about anything else.

After thinking about it, he opened a shopping website and bought some daily necessities for himself. He also bought a bunch of self-heating hotpot mix for Kan Chaosheng, a three-dimensional mouse pad, and a cute little bear backpack for He Yu.

Since he met them on the train, they have helped him out a lot. Although one was cheap and gluttonous, and the other was always absentminded, except when it came to exorcism, he still considered them brothers and friends. He never felt taken advantage of when he extended his offer to invite them to meals and often bought them gifts.

When he got to Long Shen, however, he felt embarrassed.

What does the male god like?

Dong Zhi entered keywords like antiques and famous swords. Looking at their prices made him unable to breath.

The Dong’s family background is quite good. After his parents’ deaths, they left him a sizable inheritance. In addition to the salary that he made while working in the games industry, his wealth is relatively sizable. He can say that he doesn’t need to worry about food and clothing, but even so, the price of these swords was something that was unaffordable, and he didn’t even know if they were real or fake.

After staring at the computer for a while, he turned on his phone and messaged a friend who was studying abroad. It was daytime over there, so the old friend quickly replied back: [Yo. You finally remembered me! What are you up to these days?]

Dong Zhi: [I have resigned from my job and am preparing to take the civil service exam. Brother, let me ask you a question.]

Old friend: [Shoot.]

Dong Zhi: [I have a friend who wants to give gifts to someone. He has a good impression of this person, but he’s not sure if it’s considered love or not. What do you think this person should give?]

Old friend: [That friend is you, right?]

Dong Zhi: …

The old friend immediately sent a series of laughing emojis at him.

Old friend: [You fell in love as soon as I broke up. Have you no conscience?! Send me photos so I can see!]

Dong Zhi felt helpless: [There are no photos, and I said I’m not sure how I feel about him, so I want to ask you for your opinion.]

Old friend: [He??? Male???]

Dong Zhi had accidently typed “he” instead of “she”, but he didn’t expect the other party to be so keen*. He hesitated whether he should tell the truth or not.

*In Chinese, he (他) and she (她) are similar characters. They are also pronounced similarly too, so when speaking, often it’s hard to discern if they are referring to someone’s sex.

The old friend immediately sent another message: [I already knew you were bent. Why else would you have been single for more than 20 years!]

Dong Zhi was unconvinced: [I have also had a good impression of girls, okay?!]

Old friend: [That’s like in elementary school. Besides, let alone men and women, going beyond humans, there’s also animal love and asexuality. This brother is open-minded and calm.]

Dong Zhi: […Anyways, this person is extremely powerful and good-looking. Aside from that, he also made a good impression on me and has helped me out a lot. I want to thank him, so what should I give?]

Old friend: [Money!]

Dong Zhi: …

Old friend: [Money is the most real thing! Just send him a red envelope with 520* yuan. You can test him while also thanking him. Isn’t this killing two birds with one stone?]

*When pronounced, 520 [wǔ èr líng] sound very close to I love you [wǒ ài nǐ] [我爱你] so it’s now become a reference to it.

Dong Zhi: [Forget it. Let’s talk about why you’re lovelorn.]

He listened to his friend complain about how bad his girlfriend was for over an hour and comforted him. After hanging up, Dong Zhi picked up the sketchbook album and turned to a half-painted portrait that hadn’t been completed since he was on the train.

The outline was a side angle of a slightly lowered head, as if the person was listening or in deep thought. The expression was indifferent and calm, and his eyes were blank. This was the first time they had met on the train, and Dong Zhi had no idea who Long Shen was at all. He was only impressed by his appearance alone. The eyes were the windows into one’s soul, so he couldn’t draw the other person’s eyes, so he kept them blank all this time.

After staring at it for a while, Dong Zhi chose not to fill in the eyes. Instead, he turned the page and started sketching a few cartoon characters from Group Two.

Sitting on the bed, with his short legs dangling, was Kan Chaosheng, who had a mouth full of snacks. Beside him was He Yu, who was holding his phone, obsessing over it. Zhong Yuyi was sleep walking with his hands in his pockets, and then there was Long Shen, who was holding his sword in a cool posture. He also drew himself practicing the Five Thunder Talisman technique and was finally able to attract heavenly lightning, but it struck Kan Chaosheng on the head.

---

Kinky Thoughts:

Note: I’m using thunder and lightning interchangeably. Thunder for the name and lightning for the actual bolts that strike because, technically, thunder is just the sound that lightning makes and lightning is the actual thing that does the damage, so from an English point of view, it sounds inaccurate to say something was struck by thunder.

Dong Zhi’s old friend, I’m hoping that is platonic animal love, because if it’s not, then I have news for you bud, no.

—

Jiao/Jiaolong

Type of dragon in Chinese mythology that is hornless and scaled. It is aquatic or river-dwelling. English translations have referred to it as “jiao-dragon”, “crocodile”, “flood dragon”, “scale/scaly dragon”, or even “kraken”.

Though called “dragon” it is in fact not a dragon but a species of water beast that has dragon blood. They like to hide in ponds and rivers for several hundreds to thousands of years, and if they can survive a calamity, they can ascend to become a real dragon.

Depending on text, its descriptions vary, but generally it’s agreed that it’s aquatic in nature, hornless, and scaley. It is said that they control the water and can make clouds and rain as well as summon floods. They are flightless by nature and only have a pair of claws.

---

<<< || Table of Contents || Lore Glossary || >>>

Author: 梦溪石 / Meng Xi Shi

Translator: Kinky || https://kinkytranslations.com/

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Chapter 30

Long Shen took him back to the Special Administration Bureau, but instead of going upstairs, they went to the underground parking lot. It was then that Dong Zhi realized that when Long Shen said he was “taking him to a place”, it was somewhere that wasn’t nearby.

“Get in the car,” Long Shen said as he got into a black Land Rover. There was a thick layer of dust covering the car window. It seems that it hadn’t been washed in a long time.

“Is this the unit’s car?” Dong Zhi asked curiously.

“No, it’s my own,” Long Shen said.

Dong Zhi was flabbergasted. Seeing He Yu cry and preach about his own poverty every day, it inevitably formed the impression that “everyone in the Special Administration Bureau is extremely poor”. Who knew that his boss was actually a local tyrant.

Long Shen seemed to have seen through his thoughts. “He Yu can afford to buy this kind of stuff if he wants, but he spends his money like water and never saves it.”

Dong Zhi was reminded that He Yu spends all his money on games, like buying props and costumes, and even pestering him to buy him gift packs. He nodded in agreement. Then he thought how unscientific it was for a rich, pure, unpretentious, tall, handsome, and capable man to work all day long. Not bother mentioning being married and having kids, he didn’t even seem to have a girlfriend. It didn’t make sense!

Curiosity overtook Dong Zhi and he tried to endure it, but, in the end, couldn’t hold back. “You’re so busy all the time. Do you have any time to accompany your girlfriend?”

Long Shen said, “I don’t have a girlfriend.”

Dong Zhi subconsciously said, “You’re so handsome, yet you can’t find a girlfriend?”

Long Shen glanced at him from the rearview mirror. “Do you really want to fall in love? There are not many people your age in the General Administration Bureau, but there are more in the East China Branch. I’ll let He Yu introduce you to some when I have the opportunity.”

Dong Zhi first let out a subconscious cry, then reacted and hurriedly explained. “No, I’m just asking casually. I don’t want to fall in love! At this stage, I plan to work hard and be admitted to the Special Administration Bureau, join your unit, learn from you, and contribute to the elimination of monsters and demons to create a harmonious society!”

He didn’t even need to rehearse this sentence. After speaking all in one breath, he felt it was a bit too tongue-in-cheek, thinking that he might’ve been reading too much information about the public exam recently.

Even more amazing was that instead of feeling like he was full of hot air, Deputy Director Long nodded in agreement and said. “The work of eliminating demons is heavy and you have a long way to go. Since you have this opportunity, even if you don’t enter the Special Administration Bureau, you must persevere in your cultivation.”

“Yes!” Dong Zhi said, dryly. He felt he had dug a hole for himself, but Long Shen looked serious while preaching to him, which he thought was unexpectedly cute.

The car drove into a side street. Most of the shops here were selling the four treasures of the study*, antiques, calligraphy, and paintings. At this time, most of them were closed, while the ones that were still open were deserted.

*(文房四宝) Calligraphy and paintings tools that are pen/brush, ink, paper, and inkstone.

The area looked like it would be very lively during the day, but after nightfall, there were only a few pedestrians on the street. Long Shen parked his car on the side of the road and took him into a shop with dimly lit lights. There was a person there that was packing up, about to close up shop.

“Eh, I’m closed. Come back earlier tomorrow…” The other party turned around and said, but halfway through speaking, he pushed up his reading glasses to the bridge of his nose and said, “Boss Long, why are you here?”

Long Shen said, “Getting a sword back. Master Fu Qing’s.”

The other party asked, “No consignment?”

Long Shen: “No.”

The shopkeeper glanced at Dong Zhi, nodded, and didn’t ask much. “Then wait a bit. I’ll go get it.”

Dong Zhi turned his gaze around and found that it was not much different from other shops. There was a lot of antique calligraphy and paintings, but he couldn’t tell if they were authentic, so he looked at them with excitement.

The shopkeeper quickly came back out with a sword case.

“Someone came to ask for the price, but they couldn’t offer what you asked for. They kept trying to haggle, but I wouldn’t budge.”

Long Shen said, “Thank you very much.”

The shopkeeper smiled and said, “You have helped me a lot over the years, so no need for formalities. Otherwise, we’ll just keep going around in circles.”

He put the box on the counter, unlocked it, and with a click, the box popped open. Dong Zhi stepped forward curiously and saw that there was a sword inside. Compared to the two that Long Shen hung in the office, it had neither precious inlaid stones nor special decorations, making it look pretty mediocre.

Long Shen took out the sword and said, “There is no need for the box. I’ll sit and have a cup of tea next time.”

The shopkeeper laughed. “Don’t keep saying this. It’s already been three times and you have never stopped in for tea. You always come and leave in a rush!”

Long Shen also laughed. “It’s too late today. I want to stay, but you don’t have time right now. We’ll do it next time.”

The tone of his conversation with the shopkeeper was very relaxed. It was very different from when he was with He Yu and the others. Dong Zhi guessed that these two must’ve known each other for a long time. They shortly left the antique shop afterwards, and Long Shen drove back to the Special Administration Bureau.

“Are you going to my office or He Yu’s dorm?” Long Shen asked. Both places were in the same building but on different floors, and since Dong Zhi was living in He Yu’s dorm temporarily, Long Shen brought it up.

Recalling that the other party had something to talk to him about, he hurriedly went with Long Shen back to his office. The office was still as neat and organized as before, with just the two swords that hung on the wall; there were no other unnecessary decorations.

He didn’t know the source, but he remembered a saying that a person’s hobbies, personalities, and even weaknesses can often be seen from the details of their office furnishings. If this statement is accurate, then Long Shen’s personality is undoubtedly the same as this office; at most, he has a penchant for swords in addition to being clearheaded and organized.

Dong Zhi sat upright in the office waiting for Long Shen to speak while his mind was full of wild thoughts.

“Here.” Long Shen put the long sword he had just brought back from the antique shop on the table and pushed it towards Dong Zhi.

Dong Zhi was startled and couldn’t help but touch the long sword. It felt cold to the touch, and unexpectedly, the sword was light, as if it was made with an ultra-light alloy, but just from seeing its exterior, it didn’t look as if it was made with that kind of material.

“Boss Long, I don’t know any swordsmanship. This sword would be a waste on me.” He spoke honestly.

Long Shen said, “This sword is called the Qingzhu Sword. Its master was Fu Shan* of the late Ming and early Qing Dynasties, who was also known as Fu Qingzhu. While not his best sword, it can help you practice the Five Thunder Talisman technique.”

*Fu Shan (傅山) also known as Fu Qingzhu (傅青主) when he adopted his Qingzhu sword style. He’s master said to be unparalleled in both medical skills and martial arts, and has profound attainments in Wuji swordsmanship.

Dong Zhi was shocked. “Use a sword to practice the Five Thunder Talisman technique?”

Long Shen nodded. “The Hezao Sect is not a school of sword cultivation. They pay more attention to the unity of runes and thoughts, but you didn’t grow up on Mount Hezao. You can only learn a few techniques. Your foundation is too shallow, so it’s difficult to compare to a person who has been practicing since childhood. If you use a sword to draw thunder, you will do it better with half the effort.”

Dong Zhi suddenly recalled the night he first learned the thunder technique. He was able to draw thunder, but for a period of time after the death of his shishu, when they stayed behind to help with the funeral and take care of the aftermath, he would occasionally practice the technique, but there was no thunder like that night. At most, the sky would get covered with dark clouds. Now that he had heard Long Shen’s words, he understood a little.

“You’re saying my foundation is too poor. If I want to do more with half the effort, it is best to have external help. This sword is equivalent to a medium that allows the talisman to mobilize the power of the heavens faster?”

Long Shen nodded approvingly. Though Dong Zhi could barely be counted as a cultivator, and he had no foundation before, he was still considered good because of his profound understanding and high innate talent that allowed him to quickly pick up on things.

“But this sword is too valuable. I can’t accept it.” He wanted to be able to better his talisman technique, but at the same time felt uneasy.

Long Shen said lightly, “It takes more than 200 years to master the Five Thunder Talisman technique. By itself, the sword is valueless, and its only benefit is to be used for this. Take it. If you fail the exam, then I will take it back.”

With his heart resolved, Dong Zhi quickly thanked him and accepted it silently. From this, he realized what He Yu meant when he said that Long Shen was cold on the outside but warm on the inside. Although he usually didn’t smile and trained people harshly, it wasn’t because he didn’t care about them. He made rewards and punishments clear, and he was also willing to make corrections. Even if Dong Zhi knew that this was probably the treatment he got in exchange for his good performance in Yanchang, he still couldn’t help but feel happy. As for the possibility of the gift being taken back, Dong Zhi chose to temporarily forget about it.

Since it was a rare opportunity, he took it and asked a few questions, and Long Shen answered them all. Although his words were concise and even more straightforward than He Yu’s, they were not difficult to understand.

Dong Zhi got up contentedly and said goodbye, not forgetting to thank him again, before returning to the dormitory with his sword in hand.

Before leaving, Long Shen said to him, “A separate practice field has been opened up on the top floor of the building. It’s protected by a barrier, so go there to practice. Don’t practice anywhere else. When you go, call Kan Chaosheng or the others.”

The building was in the downtown area. With the abilities of everyone in the Special Administration Bureau, if they were to practice their technique at every turn, grass wouldn’t even grow within a ten-mile radius.

Inspired by his idol, after returning to the dorms, Dong Zhi did a set of national exam questions in one go, practiced his runes drawing, and then washed and changed his clothes before going to bed. Due to all the activity, he was either too excited or nervous about the exam, so it took him a long time to fall asleep after multiple rounds of tossing and turning, and he ended up having a weird dream.

In his dream, he had passed the written exam and successfully entered the interview portion. There were several interviewers sitting in front of him, one of whom was Long Shen. Dong Zhi pinched a talisman with one hand and held a sword with the other. He was trying to attract thunder in front of the examiners, and as a result, instead of floating up after the talisman caught fire, it fell to the ground and turned into a beautiful woman that was hefty in front and voluptuous in back.

He said to Long Shen, “Boss Long, this is the girlfriend that I have summoned for you. Do you think I can pass the exam?”

Long Shen nodded in satisfaction, got up, and walked over, but instead of hugging the beauty, he hugged Dong Zhi, touched his hair, and pinched his face.

“Yes, you passed the interview with flying colors.” He said on behalf of the other interviewers that Dong Zhi couldn’t see their faces clearly.

Dong Zhi looked dumbfounded, trying to break free from Long Shen’s arms. “No, no! You are mistaken. The beauty is for you, but I’m not!” The beauty who he summoned bowed to the interviewers and thanked them.

Suddenly, Dong Zhi was picked up in a princess carry as Long Shen lowered his head and smiled at him charmingly seductively, “You don’t need to take the exam anymore. Come back and help me warm my bed!”

Dong Zhi was shocked. After reviewing for more than half a year and memorizing countless previous test questions, he was now replacing someone that he had summoned. Feeling anxious and angry, he shouted loudly, “I want to take the exam! Ahhhhhhhh!”

When he opened his eyes, he was dripping with cold sweat and clinging tightly to his blanket with both hands. It took him a while to realize that it was all just a dream. Usually dreams are forgotten after waking up, but this was more like a nightmare that had gathered all his grievances over the past few months. He can still vividly recall every detail, including Deputy Director Long’s mischievous, seductive smile.

Dong Zhi couldn’t help shuddering and was stunned, as if he had been struck by lightning. He shook his head wildly, trying to get the dream out of his mind.

No, no, no. It was just a dream. Don’t think too much about it. A dream is the opposite of reality!

Looking at the time on the phone, it was just a little after 3 AM. Seeing that it was still early, he lay down again and stared at the ceiling in a daze. They all say that dreams are a reflection of the subconsciousness deep in one’s heart, so what does that dream he just had mean?

Just dreaming about the exam is fine as it was most likely due to the mental pressure he was under recently as he was preparing for it, but why the hell is he dreaming about Boss Long robbing an innocent person?!

Dong Zhi then recalled that he had a conversation with Long Shen along the way when they went to get the sword last night and realized something was off. When Long Shen said he didn’t have a girlfriend, under normal circumstances, he should have dug a bit deeper and asked for things like his criteria when looking for a significant other so that he could possibly help or try to comfort him by saying there must be a beautiful, gentle, and understanding goddess waiting for him out there.

But Dong Zhi found that there was a hint of amusement in Long Shen. What was he so amused about?! Could it be because he was a single dog and had no girlfriend that he developed a dark mentality that when he saw his idol, he would replace his lack of a significant other with him? Could it be… that he had some ulterior thoughts regarding his male god Long Shen?!

Dong Zhi hugged his blanket tightly and fell into deep contemplation. He calmed himself down, and two villains in his mind began answering methodically, trying to sort out his thoughts.

Villain A: You ugly dog, you must be confused by his appearance!

Villain B retorted: No! The reason why the male god is a male god is not only because of his appearance. On Changbai Mountain, he was able to deal with the bone dragon and beat up two Japanese onmyojis!

Villain A sneered: That’s because Kan Chaosheng and Old Zheng were there. The success of one person is often due to the success of the team!

Villain B: Then you can’t deny that he is the core of the team. Even Headmaster Xin said that Boss Long is very powerful, and he saved my life in Yangcheng!

Villain A mocked again: It’s not popular nowadays to indulge in self-praise!

Villain B: Who would be as dirty as you? It’s not surprising that someone as powerful as him would become a role model, right? I won’t talk about He Yu and Kan Chaosheng. Although they are usually rambunctious, they are also honest in front of Boss Long. Zhong Yuyi is the same as me. After seeing his heroism, he did everything possible to get admitted to the Special Administration Bureau. Isn’t it just like admiring a solider then joining the army? It’s just being influenced by a role model!

Villain A said coldly: You said so much, yet why are you so happy to know that he doesn’t have a girlfriend?

Villain B was speechless.

Villain A: Do you want to enter the Special Administration Bureau to fight alongside him?

Villain B: Of course I do!

Villain A: Would you like to see him smile at you and praise you for doing well?

Villain B: Yes!

Villain A: What can you do for him?

Villain B: Give him support and strive not to hold him back so that he can be assured that someone has his back! Then try to do what he asks of me.

Villain A: If he wants you to be his boyfriend, would you agree?

Villain B: ??? This kind of scenario doesn’t exist!

Villain A: Don’t think about whether it exists or not. Just answer honestly if you want to. I am your inner voice, so don’t be hypocritical!

Villain B: Well, I’ll be extremely shocked, but I don’t know if I’ll agree. After all, this is all hypothetical.

Villain A: So, you actually like him a bit?

Villain B: …

Villain A: Let’s change the question. How would you feel if you saw He Yu in a relationship?

Villain B: Wow dude! You move faster than me! Blessings to you, and let me treat you to dinner!

Villain A: What if you see Long Shen befriending someone?

Villain B: Well… I’ll give him my blessings too…

Villain A: Why is your attitude so negative and unwilling?

Villain B: …

When the battle between heaven and man came to an end, Dong Zhi yelled depressingly, thinking that it was all wrong. Although he had visited Long Shen office before and thought about the unspoken rules, it was mainly because he wanted to put his mind at ease and was just joking around. He didn’t really have these kinds of thoughts, right?

He had been an otaku for more than 20 years of his life. He had never been in love, but he had seen attractive girls while he was in school, though nothing ever became of it. It still means that he wasn’t bent, right?

No! Whether he’s bent or not is not the point!

He just admires Long Shen deeply. There’s no doubt that anyone who sees a strong man fighting a bone dragon with a sword wouldn’t be awe-inspired and feel a deep longing in their heart.

But is admiration tantamount to liking? Isn’t this too superficial?

He hardly knows anything about Long Shen, like his age or family situation. What does he even like about him? Is it his handsome appearance or his powerful aura?

Thoughts and pictures flashed through his mind quickly, but he found that what left the deepest mark in his heart in the end had nothing to do with appearance or ability. The scene of Long Shen standing next to the sinkhole on Changbai Mountain while holding his sword as the break of dawn came. When he got trapped in the enchantment on Liuhua Bridge in Yancheng, he was in danger when suddenly he heard the other party’s voice calling out to him, “It’s me”. When the other party didn’t approve of him joining the Special Administration Bureau but still gave him the Qingzhu Sword after seeing his determination and was just hiding his concern under his sternness.

With a cry, Dong Zhi pulled the blanket and covered his face.

Congratulations. For the first time in his life, Dong Zhi found someone that he liked, but the object of his affection was the unattainable male god.

Suddenly, he realized that he wanted to get rid of his single life, but that seems highly improbable now. The nightmare had made him completely sleepless, and he tossed and turned the rest of the night, rolling himself into his blankets like a caterpillar. All kinds of thoughts swarmed in his mind, including the idea of pushing the Long Shen down and turning raw rice into cooked rice*.

*(生米煮成熟饭) It’s a metaphor for things that have been done and cannot be changed from the quote, “Miss, now that the raw rice is cooked, why do you resist?”. It’s used to refer to couples who have sex/get pregnant before marriage. || In this context, he’s fantasizing about physical “activities” with Long Shen.

But even if it gets to that point, forget about whether he could push Long Shen down, Dong Zhi felt he would definitely end up being packed up and thrown into the sinkhole as feed for the Sneaky Yaksha.

By the time dawn almost came, he finally fell asleep. He didn’t know how long he slept for, but he was awoken by crinkling noises. His first reaction was that he was dreaming, and his second reaction was that there was a mouse, and his third reaction was to open his eyes.

Kan Chaosheng was holding a bag of potato chips in one hand while stuffing his mouth with the other as he sat on a chair with his legs dangling down, looking as if he was bored.

“You’re finally awake.”

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The author has something to say:

A small theater that has nothing to do with the text:

Dong Zhi: As a beautiful young man with comprehensive moral, intellectual, physical, and aesthetic development, I even dreamed of taking the exams. Is there anyone more suitable to enter the Special Administration Bureau than me?

Kan Chaosheng: Liar. I obviously saw you laughing and drooling while sleeping.

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Kinky Thoughts:

Well, I didn’t expect we have a realization of feelings so soon. Well, jiayou Dong Zhi. You’re gonna need it.

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