Author: 年终 / Nian Zhong
Translator: Kinky || https://kinkytranslations.com/
Chapter 62: The Conditions for a Kiss
Top floor of the Disaster Relief Tower.
Ghost Immortal A’Shou was contentedly flipping through the ritual report, with tea and flaky pastries specially prepared by her side.
How satisfying. That malignant tumor, the Huanxi E, had finally been resolved.
Normally, eight rituals would take no more than half a year, shortest being a month. But the Huanxi E could trap its sacrifices for two to three years. The Underworld had to expend enormous ghost power just to maintain the sacrificial bodies in the mortal world.
After Dian Wu returned to the Disaster Relief Tower, she happily approved a full year of paid leave for it. Even Dian’er benefited. Part of its Mid-Autumn Festival fines were waived.
At this moment, Dian’er was rubbing its hands, eagerly awaiting the report feedback. It was grinning from ear to ear, its face completely devoid of gloom and instead full of mortal joy.
A’Shou finished the report and, satisfied, ate a pastry. “Undoing both the Mid-Autumn E and the Huanxi E… This Fang Xiu kid’s not bad.”
Dian’er nodded vigorously. “Exactly! I haven’t seen such a dazzling newcomer in ages. Do you think we should induct him into…”
Halfway through, it caught itself and quickly lowered its head. “Oops, too talkative.”
A’Shou gave it a sidelong glance and said offhandedly, “That depends on how he does in the fourth ritual.”
She knew what the paper figure was implying.
Some humans were naturally clever, highly skilled at undoing the E. They would be selected by the Underworld and designated as “Disaster Resolvers”.
The Underworld would assign these individuals to teams meant to tackle particular E’s, offering them special treatment in return.
It was frustrating, though. The Underworld had sent countless Disaster Resolvers to deal with the Huanxi E, but it was like throwing meat buns at dogs. They never returned.
One such Resolver, “Uncle Hou”, had even turned into one of the Huanxi E’s protectors.
“…If Fang Xiu can resolve four E’s, I’ll nominate him as a Disaster Resolver.” A’Shou took a sip of tea. “But not yet. He’s not even halfway through the rituals, and there are still too many people in his team.”
Dian’er nodded hastily. “Understood, understood.”
“But if you really like Fang Xiu, you can show him a bit of favor. Just don’t overdo it.”
Dian’er was deeply touched. “Yes!”
Seeing how cheerfully the paper figure beamed, A’Shou couldn’t help but laugh.
It wasn’t out of guilt or compassion, but purely because having a star performer under its watch brought it prestige too.
She casually closed the report, preparing to file it, when a strange daze washed over her.
Oh, right… They’d retrieved the sacrificial body from the Huanxi E. Fang Xiu’s body was especially strange. Most of his internal organs were mutated and fused, with only the heart and brain relatively intact…
According to the report… What did the report say again…?
A’Shou rubbed her temples and reopened the last page. She suddenly found herself unable to recognize the familiar characters. Each stroke seemed to twist and writhe on the page like worms.
The meaning of the words bypassed “reading” and drilled straight into her mind.
[■ghost■■possession,■■■■body. ■■magic weapon is■■.]
[The seductive ghost■■possession. Damage■■host’s■■magic weapon is normal.]
[The seductive ghost isn’t good at possession. Damage to the host’s flesh and magic weapon is normal.]
Yes. A seductive ghost isn’t skilled at possession. They damage the bodies they inhabit. This was common knowledge… common knowledge…
A’Shou murmured to herself and closed her eyes.
The Disaster Relief Tower had unique properties. Her will being slightly disturbed wasn’t that unusual. In a tipsy haze, she filed the report onto a wooden rack.
In the dim firelight, the rack extended endlessly into the darkness. Every slot was packed with scrolls and books, like rows of neatly stacked corpses.
A’Shou reached out and lightly brushed her fingertips across the dusty records.
Only “successful resolutions” earned a corresponding entry. If a sacrifice was simply fed to a ghost, nothing would be recorded.
That little scholar in red… How many more times would his name appear here?
……
Fang Xiu’s room on some level of the Disaster Relief Tower.
“You’re bad at possession, so that’s why I had such a strong reaction?” Fang Xiu asked curiously.
Regarding the side effects of their possession-fusion move, Bai Shuangying had simply said he “wasn’t good at possession.” Like birds not suited for swimming, or beasts unsuited to flight, it was just his nature.
Fang Xiu accepted it easily. Everyone had their weaknesses.
“It doesn’t really matter. The main issue was just that this ritual had too many people. Normally we could’ve just hidden together.”
Fang Xiu was understanding. “And being possessed by you wasn’t all that uncomfortable. You’re not that bad at it.”
Bai Shuangying nodded politely. “It was quite comfortable being inside you.”
Fang Xiu: “………………”
Fang Xiu coughed loudly a few times, changing the subject. “Perfect timing. Let’s go exploring before lunch.”
Bai Shuangying gave a neutral “Mm,” his expression unchanged.
Outside, the courtyard was the same as when they first arrived. Only now, three doors were sealed with white strips marked with runes Fang Xiu couldn’t read.
They belonged to three fallen teammates. According to the paper figure, they had likely died suddenly in the real world.
Fang Xiu stood in front of Jia Xu’s door for a while and knocked a few times. As expected, there was only silence inside.
Bai Shuangying: “Are you mourning him?”
“As if.” Fang Xiu shook his head. “I just think it’s a shame Qin Wangshu’s parents never got a chance to take revenge.”
“But Jia Xu is already dead,” Bai Shuangying said, puzzled.
“Even death has value. Jia Xu died too lightly.”
Another incomprehensible concept, Bai Shuangying thought.
To him, death was final, a pure “action”. Once a person died, their karma would gradually fade. Love, hatred, grudges would all dissolve with time.
If even death had meaning…
“So how do you plan to die?” Bai Shuangying asked bluntly.
Fang Xiu froze for a few seconds, then looked at him and gradually smiled.
“Well, I definitely don’t want to die in a ritual. That’d be lame.”
Bai Shuangying knew humans liked to “leave a legacy”, but that was for the living. As for trading death for something…
[One life for that many beasts… Worth it…]
He suddenly remembered that human warrior with eyes similar to Fang Xiu’s.
So he asked, “Do you want to exchange your life for your enemies’?”
Fang Xiu looked at him again, his brows curling into a smile. He scratched his nose and said earnestly, “Why not just wish them dead? Why pay with my own life?”
Bai Shuangying slowly lowered his head, giving up. This human was truly hard to grasp.
Fortunately, Fang Xiu cheerfully dragged him along and skipped the topic altogether.
The courtyard was small. There were only eight rooms and two tables on the first floor. A ninety-year-old could explore the whole place in ten minutes.
Fang Xiu and Bai Shuangying looked around but found nothing unusual.
Soon, Fang Xiu set his sights on the mysterious second floor. Just as they stepped past the incense burner blocking the stairs, Dian’er appeared.
“Where are you headed?” it asked brightly.
Fang Xiu: “Just wandering.”
“Well, the second floor isn’t usually open. If you want a look, I’ll need to take you.”
It rubbed its hands like a fly. “It happens that I’m free right now. What do you say?”
Fang Xiu had originally wanted some time alone with his ghost. He glanced at Bai Shuangying, only to find the ghost looking curious and eager.
Fang Xiu sighed inwardly and didn’t object. “Lead the way.”
Dian’er: “You got it—!”
This was their first time visiting the second floor outside of ritual hours.
Without the Underworld’s “ritual scene overlay”, the second floor revealed its true appearance. Its style matched the first floor, with red lanterns hanging from the eaves.
But unlike the first floor, it had only two doors.
The two antique-style doors faced each other, both with name plaques.
The one they usually passed through bore the characters “Hall of Disaster Resolution”. A brass lock secured it, which looked nothing special.
The other, which was usually hidden, was labeled “Shrine of All E’s”. Its lock was made of bronze, stained with strange filth, and tangled in countless chains. It looked ominous.
That door had always been hidden by illusions, so Fang Xiu had never noticed it.
“The Hall of Disaster Resolution connects to the mortal realm. It only opens during rituals.” The paper figure explained, “We use it to link your ritual grounds, so you can cross between the realms. Right now, it’s just a void out there.”
Fang Xiu stared at the other door. “And the Shrine of All E’s?”
The paper figure hesitated, then forced a smile. “That’s for Underworld personnel only. It’s not accessible to sacrifices. That’s the rules. I can’t open it.”
Sounds like some kind of employee-only elevator, Fang Xiu thought.
But his ghost was very interested in the Shrine. Bai Shuangying stood before it, poking the chains, rubbing the bronze lock, utterly absorbed.
Fang Xiu: “You really can’t open it?”
The paper figure said sincerely, “I really can’t. Last time it opened, it was to welcome a new ghost immortal.”
As they spoke, Bai Shuangying began picking at the chain. A crackling noise erupted, and he instantly pulled back his left hand, brow twitching.
Fang Xiu rushed over and saw his fingertip charred and refusing to heal.
“Does it hurt?” he held Bai Shuangying’s hand and inspected the wound carefully.
Bai Shuangying: “It’s fine.”
When he simulated human form, he fully replicated human senses. It did hurt a bit.
But thinking of what Fang Xiu suffered in the Huanxi E, Bai Shuangying found it too petty to complain.
The paper figure noticed too. “Yikes! You mustn’t touch that! The curse was placed by Lady A’Shou herself. It’s very nasty!”
“How do we treat the wound?” Fang Xiu asked directly.
“Your ghost didn’t use a forceful spell and just touched it. It’ll heal naturally.” The paper figure thought for a moment and added, “If you’re willing to trade a magic weapon, I could get you some Essence Ointment. It’s the best thing for recovery.”
Bai Shuangying declined at once. “Not necessary.”
If it were anyone else, maybe. But with Fang Xiu’s food card, magic weapons were better saved for summoning headless evil spirits.
Seeing Bai Shuangying refuse, Fang Xiu didn’t press the matter. But before they left, he cast a few more glances at that door.
……
Back in their room, Bai Shuangying fell into thought. The exploration had yielded one good and one bad result.
The good news: he’d sensed strong karmic energy behind the door. That karmic aura matched the seal’s, meaning the Shrine and the binding spell were intimately linked.
The bad news: Ghost Immortal A’Shou was indeed powerful. Even with his ability after 73 chains broke, Bai Shuangying couldn’t undo the seal quietly. If he made a move, A’Shou would notice immediately.
He needed another way to investigate the Shrine…
Suddenly, a warm wetness touched his wound. The pain eased and became light as air.
Bai Shuangying looked down. Fang Xiu was holding his hand, gently sucking on his injured fingertip.
Fang Xiu’s eyes were downcast, ears a little red, but his expression was pure. His tongue curled clumsily, nothing like his usual agility when lying.
Bai Shuangying loved this speechless version of the human. After nearly a minute, he asked, “What are you doing?”
Fang Xiu released his finger and pointed to his moist lips. “Healing.”
“The paper figure said in this Tower, my flesh is a manifestation of soul-essence. If essence ointment heals wounds, then so should my essence.”
Blood was essence so saliva probably counted too.
Bai Shuangying raised his hand. The wound was indeed healing. The charred skin was plumping, then turning pale again, as if it was never injured.
Fang Xiu’s treatment worked, almost too well. Was ordinary soul-essence from a human supposed to be this effective?
In rituals, Bai Shuangying had entered Fang Xiu’s body. But that body was a sanctioned magic weapon of the Underworld. It sealed the soul essence like a vacuum pack. He never got to taste it properly.
Now intrigued, he cupped Fang Xiu’s face, intending to sample some essence directly.
But as soon as he leaned in, Fang Xiu blocked his face with one hand.
Bai Shuangying: “?”
He tilted his head, white eyes blinking between fingers. His expression clearly said, “Didn’t you say you liked me? Then why not?”
Fang Xiu answered seriously, “No.”
Bai Shuangying thought he was too formal. So he suggested, “Then I’ll wait till you’re asleep and slip into your mouth?”
Fang Xiu was silent for a few seconds. “Because I like you. That’s why not.”
Fang Xiu understood. Even if he kissed Bai Shuangying, or spent the night with him under the excuse of “feeding soul essence”, Bai Shuangying probably wouldn’t object. He might just treat it like a late-night snack.
The experience was tempting. But it wasn’t the kind of relationship Fang Xiu imagined.
Even knowing it was destined to end, he wanted to treat this seriously instead of using his ghost as a fantasy placeholder.
Maybe Bai Shuangying wouldn’t grasp the nuance, but he did, and that was enough.
And Bai Shuangying had one merit: once Fang Xiu made things clear, he’d accept it quietly with an “Mm”, and would never go against his will.
“Mm.” Sure enough, Bai Shuangying didn’t understand but agreed.
“…Then when will you kiss me?” A few seconds later, he asked bluntly.
Fang Xiu thought for a moment. “When you like me a little too.”
Looks like I won’t get a taste today. Bai Shuangying fell silent.
After a while, he could only “Mm” in reply, regrettably letting the matter go.
Kinky Thoughts:
Besides blood and saliva, there is something else Fang Xiu can produce that is also essence. And Bai Shuangying will definitely get to taste that, eventually.
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