Author: 年终 / Nian Zhong
Translator: Kinky || https://kinkytranslations.com/
Chapter 44: Under the Sun
After everyone finished breakfast, the paper figure inserted a thick, blood-red incense stick into the censer in the center of the courtyard.
The incense gave off a strong woody fragrance that made people feel slightly dizzy. Smoke curled up in thin wisps, forming a misty doorway in the air.
The paper figure waved its hand dejectedly, and the door swung open, revealing a storeroom inside.
Although called a “storeroom”, it actually resembled a museum in an old building.
There were no windows, only four walls painted in vermillion. Neatly arranged gilded copper lamps hung on the walls, and every few steps there was a tall standing copper lamp, bathing the entire space in flickering warm light.
All sorts of magic weapons were placed on separate stone pedestals, lined up in rows that extended far into the distance. Next to each magic weapon was a handwritten note in brush calligraphy, which was clearly visible.
Fang Xiu glanced around. The Underworld certainly had its own cunning ways… These implements only came with a description of their abilities, with no ratings given.
“Hey, this is nice.” The first thing Blondie took a fancy to S a painting of an imperial concubine.
The woman in the painting had eyes like silk, utterly bewitching. According to the description, it was somewhat like the “Mirror of Lust*”, which could offer a perfect yet illusory land of tender pleasure.
*This comes from the novel “Dream of the Red Chamber” where the character Jia Rui fell ill and bought a mirror from a Taoist priest. Looking into the mirror revealed his desire for his cousin’s wife and so he jumped into it to have sex with her. After doing this several times, he eventually got trapped inside the mirror and perished.
Fang Xiu just thought this thing was as useless as a scrap of paper. The woman in the painting wasn’t even as beautiful as his ghost.
Blondie turned to the paper figure. “You said that the treasures will bind to us absolutely. If we survive the sacrificial ritual, can we take them out with us?”
The paper figure was speechless. “When I said complete binding, obviously you can take them away.”
“But because they’re fully bound, only you can use them. They can’t be given to anyone else. And once you die, the Underworld will send someone to retrieve them.”
Blondie clicked his tongue and took that painting of the lady down from the wall. “Then I’ll take this one.”
Inside the painting, the woman spun around with a flowery smile.
Everyone else: “…?”
Seriously? This thing was visibly useless.
Blondie chuckled sleazily. “Heh, if I pick a weapon or armor, it won’t be much use once I’m home. Might as well pick something I can enjoy for the rest of my life, like a genuine female immortal. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.”
The paper figure took the scroll and asked Blondie to drip a drop of his blood onto it. At once, the painting flashed red, then flew into Blondie’s hands as if it were affectionate.
Blondie stood there grinning foolishly. “I’m done. You guys hurry up, too.”
Jia Xu cleared his throat and turned to Fang Xiu with a “let’s break the ice” sort of posture. “Is it really okay for him to choose that?”
He didn’t lower his voice, so Blondie could hear him plainly.
Fang Xiu didn’t even look up. “What’s there to let or not let? He chose it himself. It’s none of my business.”
Jia Xu: “But the team’s combat strength needs to be maintained…”
Fang Xiu turned to Blondie. “Du Zhichao, what’s your father’s name?”
Blondie was caught off guard. “Huh? My dad’s name is Du Baocai.”
…That was the same name as the drug dealer who ran over Guan He’s younger brother. Guan He’s whole body trembled.
He was about to say something, but Fang Xiu pressed a hand on his shoulder and looked at Jia Xu nonchalantly. “See? His father’s not named Fang Xiu. Everyone chooses their own path. I have no standing to educate him.”
With that, he ignored Jia Xu’s reaction and pushed Guan He away.
Guan He’s eyes were slightly red, and he forced himself to hold back his emotions. “Fang Ge, what exactly is going on?”
“I was curious about the criteria for grouping the sacrifices. Mai Zi and Lao Mian ended up together, and Lao Jin’s group got lumped together as well. It’s unlikely to be coincidence.”
“So I guessed there must be some karmic link among us too. That hit-and-run driver’s last name was Du. Blondie happens to have the last name Du as well, so I asked.”
Facing Guan He, Fang Xiu said patiently, “Listen, Guan He… Du Baocai was executed by firing squad a long time ago. Your number one priority is surviving and getting out. Don’t provoke Blondie.”
Guan He took several deep breaths. “…Got it.”
Fang Xiu was right. The criminal back then had already been executed. The sacrificial ritual was now the main concern. He absolutely couldn’t let reckless revenge get in the way.
Guan He clenched his teeth, then continued looking for a suitable implement. He didn’t look in Blondie’s direction again.
To Fang Xiu’s surprise, the second person to pick out a magic weapon was Cheng Songyun.
She chose a string of sandalwood prayer beads. It contained a total of 108 beads, which could calm the mind and ward off illusions.
Fang Xiu silently praised her for genuinely using her brain.
For most people, these beads would be pretty useless, just a superstitious calming charm.
But Cheng Songyun’s strongest ability was summoning a vengeful ghost shield. The price for using it was suffering hallucinations. With this item, the ghost shield became much more practical.
Cheng Songyun nodded slightly toward Fang Xiu and accepted the beads.
Shortly after, Mei Lan chose a bamboo “Nectar Bowl”.
The bowl was only about the size of a teacup yet always filled with water inside. She could either keep it sealed or pour it out at will. The water could purify curses, which was highly compatible with her “Underwater Stealth” technique.
Guan He was overwhelmed by the choices and decisively asked Fang Xiu for help.
Fang Xiu helped him select a piece called “Black-Eye Veil”. If you covered your eyes with it, you could invite your ghost to possess you, allowing human and ghost to fuse as one.
Before this, the fearsome ghosts just possessed people in a simple sense; any ghostly spells had to be cast by the ghosts themselves. It was like a person riding a horse: The person is a person, the horse is a horse; you can cooperate, but you each have your own will.
Human-ghost integration was like person and horse merging into a centaur.
That way, Guan He could freely use the power of his child ghost without having to spend time communicating with it.
“This way, you won’t easily attract other ghosts, you can pass through walls, and you can also use the ‘Five Ghosts Relocation’ technique,” Fang Xiu explained carefully. “If we use a game analogy, you’ll be the perfect rogue class. Add on the Five-Emperors Coins and Jade Buddha, and you’ll be very safe.”
Guan He felt grateful but also a bit concerned.
Fang Xiu’s specialty was also stealth. They might end up overlapping roles. Guan He didn’t want Fang Xiu to sacrifice the team’s overall balance just for his safety.
So he asked, “But Fang Ge, aren’t you also a rogue? Actually, I’m in great shape, so I can fight on the front lines if…”
Fang Xiu cut him off. “I’m a DPS.”
Guan He: “?”
Fang Xiu repeated firmly, “I’m a DPS. Any problem with that?”
Guan He dropped the matter.
Maybe Fang Xiu had his eye on a weapon with very high destructive power, Guan He thought uncertainly.
Several hours passed, and only Fang Xiu and Jia Xu still hadn’t made a choice.
Blondie, hugging his treasured scroll, had yawned at least a hundred times. “Are you two done yet? I finished in under three minutes.”
Jia Xu had his eye on a flamboyant set of “Ghost-Summoning Flags” and a small bone die, and he kept wavering between the two, sweating anxiously.
Fang Xiu, meanwhile, strolled around at a leisurely pace, his expression unreadable. He calmly passed by all sorts of bizarre implements, stopping occasionally to read their descriptions. Those nearby could see Bai Shuangying quietly floating behind him, but they couldn’t hear his succinct commentary.
“Trash, trash, trash… Acceptable.”
Whenever he said “acceptable,” Fang Xiu would stop to take a closer look.
Considering Fang Xiu’s safety, Bai Shuangying especially paid attention to armor or similar items. Unfortunately, all of them were large and heavy, and Fang Xiu’s build couldn’t handle wearing them.
The same went for weapons. The best one here was a demon-slaying long spear, but it weighed a solid thirty-six jin*. At that point, who’d be swinging whom was anyone’s guess.
*About 48 lbs
Bai Shuangying had never felt so exasperated.
He kept his eyes on their surroundings, mechanically muttering “trash” or “acceptable”. Suddenly, he realized Fang Xiu hadn’t moved for a while.
Fang Xiu stood in front of a peach branch.
It was about the length of a short sword. The branch was as pale as bone, with no leaves. On its tip bloomed snow-white peach blossoms.
Peach Bone Evil, a ghost weapon. It could amplify the power of Yin energy and ghost spells, usable only by evil spirits.
Bai Shuangying said, “This is indeed quite good, but you can’t use it.”
While he was speaking, Fang Xiu picked up the peach branch of his own accord. It was very light and felt cold to the touch. The peach blossoms on top quivered slightly but didn’t shed any petals.
Though it looked pretty, the instant Fang Xiu took it in his hand, a wave of discomfort surged inside him. It felt as if his internal organs were sinking heavily, like he’d swallowed a stomachful of ice.
It truly was an ill-omened object meant only for evil spirits.
“I’ll take this,” Fang Xiu said. “We shared in defeating the Mid-Autumn E, so we should share the spoils equally. This thing is perfect for you. It’d be a crime not to take it.”
Bai Shuangying: “I don’t need it.”
“But you need something to protect yourself. If I want some magic weapon for myself, I can always grab one by force,” Fang Xiu said.
“But the items here can be taken back to the human world,” Bai Shuangying pointed out. He understood that Fang Xiu would want a tool that could be used both in the ritual and after returning to the mortal realm.
Fang Xiu didn’t listen at all. Holding the peach branch, he ran toward the entrance, imitating Bai Shuangying’s way of speaking. “I don’t need it!”
If Bai Shuangying were familiar with human society, he would’ve realized Fang Xiu’s behavior was like insisting on paying the bill after a meal.
Unfortunately, Bai Shuangying had never really mingled in the human world; his mind was already racing elsewhere…
On second thought, this was actually not a bad idea.
Peach Bone Evil was indeed powerful, and he could wield it. If he struck carefully, he wouldn’t alarm the Underworld too much.
…Which also meant he could protect Fang Xiu more effectively.
When Fang Xiu went to register his item with the paper figure, he ran into Jia Xu.
Fang Xiu was a bit surprised. Judging by Jia Xu’s personality, he’d assumed Jia Xu would pick the Ghost Summoning Flags, but he’d chosen that unremarkable-looking bone die instead.
Jia Xu looked quite pleased, as if he’d finally figured something out. Remembering the die’s ability, Fang Xiu sighed inwardly.
Jia Xu was definitely going to regret it, Fang Xiu thought.
Throughout the registration, the paper figure was calm, until it saw Fang Xiu approaching with the peach branch. It nearly had a breakdown. “You-You’re choosing that one? Th-that’s for evil spirits… Let me help you pick something else…”
Fang Xiu: “Can it form a contract with me?”
“You do have a bound evil spirit, so yes, but but but…”
Fang Xiu: “I get it. This is a valuable item.”
The paper figure said nothing.
Fang Xiu smiled and rubbed salt in the wound. “I’ll take this. I’m not switching. By the way, that earlier accident was your fault, right? Now that we’re taking away these magic weapons, your ‘Big Sis’ won’t make you foot the bill or anything?”
The paper figure’s eyes brimmed with tears. It sobbed quietly as it performed the blood-bond ritual for Fang Xiu.
“Wuwu, I’m going to have to work for free for five hundred years…” As they left the storeroom, Fang Xiu could still hear the paper figure wailing.
……
It was the last day of vacation, a day to visit the human world!
The paper figure repeatedly warned them not to talk about the sacrificial ritual. Ghost officers were watching in secret. Anyone who leaked the information would have the listeners’ memories erased, and the leaker would be severely punished.
Then the paper figure handed each person a cellphone and 10,000 yuan in spending money.
Everyone had something they wanted to do with this rare day in the human world. They decided to split up and make the most of it.
The moment Fang Xiu saw the blue sky, he sniffled. “This is wonderful…”
It was six in the morning, and the breakfast stalls along the street had all opened. Smelling the aroma of fried pastries and egg-stuffed pancakes, Fang Xiu felt so emotional he nearly cried.
He’d deliberately skipped breakfast, planning to eat five meals today—hot pot, barbecue, stir-fries, desserts, everything.
Then he and Bai Shuangying could watch a movie and maybe tour the entire city. The amusement park and aquarium were both good options, or they could check out some local exhibits. By evening, he wanted to take Bai Shuangying to a real pedestrian street. Bai Shuangying had been curious about cotton candy before, and now his ghost could genuinely eat it…
Fang Xiu just wished there was 72 hours in a day.
He wiped his face twice and continued to soak in the view. Rows of leafy trees lined both sides of the street; some leaves had already turned golden. Steam rose lazily around the breakfast stalls, their scents mixed with the sweet fragrance of osmanthus flowers.
Seeing all the people coming and going, Fang Xiu pinched his arm, still feeling as if he were in a dream.
…The world of the living really was amazing.
Fang Xiu’s eyes grew a bit misty, and he blinked repeatedly to hold back tears.
Bai Shuangying’s attention, on the other hand, was elsewhere.
He’d gotten somewhat used to the style of that small pedestrian street from before, but everything before him now was wholly unfamiliar.
He saw no horses or wooden carts on the road; only a bunch of strange metal boxes zipping around. There were screens flashing everywhere, and the sunlight gleamed off towering skyscrapers with reflective glass walls, making him a bit dizzy.
An airplane roared across the sky, and Bai Shuangying looked up, staring intently at that iron “bird”. It was yet another thing he didn’t recognize. Centuries had passed, and the world had turned upside down.
So this was Fang Xiu’s world. Bai Shuangying thought he might understand Fang Xiu, but clearly there was much more he didn’t know.
This was troublesome, Bai Shuangying thought.
…In reality, Bai Shuangying rarely bothered to learn much of anything, nor did he like to think.
He was born with a natural grasp of heavenly laws, so there was no need for special study.
He also remembered human legends and tales, but to him, they were merely drifting sand across a timeless span of years. He knew them, but didn’t truly understand them.
But why would he ever need to understand humans?
To Bai Shuangying, humans were but ephemeral insects, their lives gone in a blink. Not just humans, even the gods above might be replaced after he daydreamed for a while.
All things were fleeting; thought or inquiry had no true meaning.
So, regarding the world around him, his usual attitude was “indifferent”.
If someone wished to speak with him, he’d do so if he felt like it. If no one bothered him, he’d just stare blankly. And if anyone dared to hurt him, he would simply destroy them.
Before the “sealing incident”, that was how he lived, plain and simple.
…Now the downside of not thinking much was catching up to him.
In order to break his seal, he had to “understand Fang Xiu” before the eight sacrificial rituals were over.
The great Bai Shangshen, who had daydreamed away most of his existence and still had a 90% brand-new brain, had no choice but to work at full capacity analyzing this human.
Fang Xiu didn’t notice the lag in his ghost’s thoughts.
Overjoyed, he directly grabbed Bai Shuangying by the wrist.
“We have a whole day!” His voice rose with excitement. “Let’s go! I’ll treat you to some earthly foods. Eating some junk food once in a while should be fine, right?”
Bai Shuangying: “Mm.”
“Then afterwards I’ll look up some nearby attractions. You can pick whichever ones interest you the most…”
“Fang Xiu.”
“Hmm?”
“You know, the Underworld doesn’t forbid normal contact. You can get in touch with your human friends.”
He hoped to use that to learn about Fang Xiu’s social connections and piece together Fang Xiu’s past.
Fang Xiu gave a slightly sheepish smile. “I don’t really have any friends…”
Realizing how depressing that sounded, he quickly added, “I mean, there are people I can call, but I don’t want to bother them. Today, let’s just hang out by ourselves. With you around, that’s more than enough.”
Bai Shuangying couldn’t think of a response to that.
Excellent. He already wasn’t great at understanding human hearts, and now here was someone whose feelings might be more complex than he had imagined.
Bai Shuangying sighed. “Is there anything in particular you really want to do?”
“How about a movie this morning, then that big pedestrian street tonight. You can decide what we do in the afternoon, okay?” Fang Xiu lit up instantly.
“A movie?”
“Think of it like a moving photograph, or a super realistic stage performance,” Fang Xiu explained excitedly. “We’ll watch it in 3D on a giant screen. It’s very immersive.”
Bai Shuangying had at least heard of stage dramas. He considered for a moment, then asked, “What story does it tell?”
Fang Xiu showed him the phone. “There’s a good disaster movie playing now. Basically an evil monster arrives and wipes out humanity.”
Bai Shuangying: “……”
The “evil monster” that was about to destroy the human world Bai Shuangying: “?”
If not for the ugly giant beast on the poster, he might have suspected Fang Xiu was probing him.
“You enjoy watching the world get destroyed?” Bai Shuangying asked, surprised.
Fang Xiu scratched his head. “Not exactly. I just enjoy the overall vibe. You’ll understand once you see it.”
“…All right.”
And thus began the event that would later become famous throughout the Underworld: their “first date”.
The author has something to say:
What’s going on, it only got to the part where they just started dating. Come on, isn’t this whole sequence basically just a date? (…
They’re probably going on another date tomorrow too. Date, date like there’s no tomorrow (.
God Bai be like:
Congratulations on memorizing the human multiplication table. Now you can go prove the Riemann Hypothesis…
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