Author: 唇亡齿寒 / Lips Gone, Teeth Cold
Translator: Kinky || https://kinkytranslations.com/
Chapter 83
Alois sat alone behind a cluster of rose bushes. The breeze messed up his hair into a disheveled style. He impatiently smoothed it down, pulled his knees to his chest, and curled up as tightly as possible, like a stray cat abandoned by its owner, hiding in a corner unknown to anyone to keep warm. Soon, he began to pluck the grass on the ground in frustration. When the grass was nearly plucked clean, he turned his attention to the roses behind him. He wondered if he would be fined or even jailed for “damaging the greenery” if caught.
Reaching out to grab a flower, he was pricked by a thorn on the stem. “Damn it!” he cursed under his breath, retracting his hand. His finger bled from the prick, and he sucked on the wound, tasting the salty flavor of his blood.
Once the bleeding nearly stopped, Alois got up, dusted off the dirt and leaves from his clothes, and walked towards the white cottage. On the secluded forest path, he heard sobbing.
The sound was faint, almost imperceptible unless listened for carefully, but he keenly noticed it. He carefully parted the branches in front of him and saw Joshua sitting on a wooden swing in front of the flower garden, his head deeply bowed, his silver hair cascading over his knees like a waterfall. His shoulders trembled, like a lonely and helpless child. The faint sobs and sniffles were carried to Alois’s ears by the breeze.
It was Joshua crying.
This shocked Alois greatly. He blinked several times to make sure he wasn’t seeing an illusion. How could this be? He thought. To him, Joshua always appeared so dashing and formidable, compelling all enemies to submit with his lethal prowess, beautiful yet never fragile. His sharpness, like a drawn sword, had thoroughly conquered Alois inside and out.
But did Joshua also have such moments of vulnerability? Did he cry like this when alone?
Seeing him so helpless pained Alois deeply. He wanted to comfort Joshua but feared being coldly rejected, pushed away mercilessly like a few times before. With this thought, his steps slowed.
Why did Joshua always keep him out of his world? Why keep a tightly locked door in his heart, preferring to decay slowly inside rather than opening up to him?
Why torment himself like this, bearing pain alone? Why not share it with him… even just a little?
When will this fool stop being so stubborn!
Before Alois realized it, he had already approached Joshua from behind and hugged him tightly. Joshua’s body jolted, then he struggled fiercely.
“Let go of me!” Joshua grabbed Alois’s arms wrapped around his chest, his fingers digging into the skin, seemingly as a threat, but his choked voice betrayed him. “I told you not to come over! Let me be alone!”
“No!” Even as his arms ached from the grip, Alois didn’t loosen his hold. Instead, he hugged tighter. “Even if you say that, I won’t let go!”
“Get away!”
“No!”
“Let go of me!”
“No!” Alois shouted. “I won’t let go! Even if you drive me away, I won’t let go! You said we would always be together. You said so… so I won’t leave you alone!”
Joshua’s struggling gradually weakened, and finally, he stopped resisting, allowing Alois to gently caress his ear.
Thus, Alois quietly held him, chest pressed against his back, feeling his heartbeat and the slight tremor of his shoulders. He felt the warm tears wetting his hand. Joshua was crying again. Those tears were so scorching they nearly burned Alois’s skin, but he relished the feeling. He wanted to be the person Joshua could lean on, the one to share his pain, listen to his sorrows, and help him out of the darkness.
He could accept all of Joshua, not afraid of rejection. He wanted to be loved by Joshua and to love him in return.
After a long time, the sobbing finally stopped. Alois loosened his arms and moved in front of Joshua. The assassin hung his head, unwilling to look at him. Silver hair fell down, covering his face. Alois reached out to brush his hair aside, but Joshua shrank back, turning his head away.
“Don’t look at me…” He raised his hand to cover his reddened eyes.
Alois wrapped his arms around his neck, wiping away the lingering tears. “Don’t be like this.”
“You saw me at my worst,” Joshua muttered softly.
“I won’t laugh at you.”
Alois gently kissed the corner of Joshua’s lips, then sat down cross-legged on the grass beside him, holding Joshua’s hand on his knee.
“I’m sorry,” Joshua said. “For how I treated you before.”
“It’s okay.”
“I shouldn’t have kept so much from you.” Joshua bit his lip. “You must be curious, yet I didn’t tell you anything…”
“If you don’t want to talk about it, then don’t,” Alois said. “Those things happened before I met you, I… I don’t care about them.” His voice lowered. Even he felt a bit insincere.
“I wasn’t intentionally hiding them.” Joshua ruffled his hair. “Because those aren’t pleasant memories. Sometimes I don’t even want to remember them myself.”
Alois stared. “Then don’t…”
“I think it’s better to tell you now.” Joshua raised a finger to Alois’s lips. “We should be open with each other. No secrets or doubts, right?”
‘You should have done this earlier,’ Alois thought. He nodded, signaling Joshua to continue.
Joshua looked towards the white cottage, slightly dazed, as if unsure where to begin. “Um… you ask.” He withdrew his gaze. “I’ll try to answer truthfully.”
“Okay, my first question, and the one I want to know most.” Alois shifted to a more comfortable position. “Who is Kester? What is your relationship with him?”
Joshua’s answer came almost without hesitation. “Kester is just as you know, the genius scientist from Old Earth. He is my brother.”
This response surprised Alois. “You’re brothers? Real brothers?”
“Is there any doubt?” Joshua appeared slightly uncomfortable. “But there’s a big age difference. He’s thirteen years older than me…”
“That’s not what I meant!” Alois exclaimed. “Kester is from Old Earth, right? That’s over a thousand—nearly two thousand years ago. How are you… Why would you…”
Joshua again looked towards his restored old home, holding one of Alois’s hands, while the other clutched the swing’s iron chain. Gathering his thoughts in the night wind, he began to recount his past.
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