Author: 颜凉雨 / Yan Liang Yu
Translator: Kinky || https://kinkytranslations.com/
Chapter 112: Assessment
The manager of the Underworld was the Force Ghost, who lived in the Underground Pavilion, which was closest to the Human Realm in the entire Underworld. Living there for a long time makes one spirited and full of ghost energy.
“It’s said that he was over a hundred years old when he died. When he first arrived here, his soul was very weak. But after he became the manager and lived in the Underground Pavilion, his physical condition improved a lot compared to us lonely and wandering ghosts,” the Starving Ghost explained dutifully, like a tour guide, as they headed to the Underground Pavilion.
Xu Wang detected envy in his words and said, “Although you can’t live in the Underground Pavilion, you can live next to it and benefit from its ghost energy.”
The Starving Ghost sighed and shook his head. “All the good places are taken. It’s not my turn yet.”
This Starving Ghost already looked miserable, and with his additional sorrowful drooping head, he appeared even more pitiable.
Wu Sheng, who had been observing the Starving Ghost, finally expressed his doubt. “The way you pushed that Ghost Eater into the well earlier was quite skillful. With such abilities, why are you still bullied in the Underworld?”
The Starving Ghost stopped. He turned around and said blankly, “I did that to save you…” After blinking and seemingly understanding Wu Sheng’s question, he hastily added, “I-I have never fought with other ghosts.”
Wu Sheng: “……”
Xu Wang: “……”
Why so honest?!
As they talked, they arrived at the Underground Pavilion.
Entering, they saw a large pot filled with sand in the center of the room, behind which sat an old man with white hair. He wasn’t very tall, slightly hunched, with droopy eyelids almost covering his eyes and a face full of wrinkles representing worldly vicissitudes.
Before they could state their purpose, the Force Ghost patted the side of the pot and said succinctly, “Draw the ghost energy here.”
The assessment for entering the Human Realm from the Underworld didn’t involve fighting or weapons. The manager only looked at one thing—the level of ghost energy.
And that pot was used to measure the ghost energy.
Xu Wang swallowed nervously, suddenly feeling tense. He quickly turned to whisper to Wu Sheng, “What if our visa is rejected?”
Wu Sheng: “…Then we just won’t ‘go abroad’. Traveling domestically is also nice.”
Xu Wang, amused by his cooperation, felt his nervousness strangely dissipate. He took a deep breath and stepped forward first.
Instead of approaching the pot, he stopped two steps away, closed his eyes, and concentrated.
Suddenly, the spirit attached to his back, like a black snake, darted out and plunged straight into the pot of sand!
After a few seconds of silence…
The sand in the tank began to swirl, not stirred by the spirit but as if it had come to life, forming wave after wave, getting faster and faster!
“That’s enough.” The Force Ghost lifted his droopy eyelids, and under his long white brows, his gaze swept over Xu Wang. “Are you a Possessing Ghost?”
The Force Ghost, unlike the gatekeeper in the Western Courtyard, was very discerning. Just being scrutinized by him made Xu Wang feel guilty.
Everyone else was alone, but Xu Wang had a buy-one-get-one-free deal with his spirit. The Force Ghost’s guess that he was a “Possessing Ghost” was already giving him an easy pass.
But the problem was, Xu Wang and the Starving Ghost had confidently claimed he was a spirit attached to the back, and it would be hard to explain if he changed his story now.
“Ahem.” Xu Wang cleared his throat, trying to stay calm. “I’m not a traditional Possessing Ghost. I’m a spirit attached to the back.” He manipulated the shadow in the pot to come out and pointed to the spirit behind him. “This is me.”
It was the same old trick, but the Force Ghost didn’t seem convinced.
Xu Wang felt increasingly uneasy under his gaze.
After a long while, the Force Ghost waved his hand and sighed. “When you live as long as I have, you’ll understand. The body is just a shell. Whether it’s attractive or not, whether you have complete limbs and handsome features or are just a vague black shadow, it doesn’t really matter.”
“……” The Force Ghost seemed to have misunderstood that Xu Wang was ashamed of his shadowy form, which is why he chose a physical shell to hide behind.
But—
“Did you just mention complete limbs and handsome features?”
Thinking Xu Wang hadn’t heard clearly, the Force Ghost emphasized, “Handsome features.”
Xu Wang breathed a sigh of relief, pleased to hear it.
Wu Sheng, who had seen through everything: “……”
The Force Ghost swept his hand over the pot, smoothing the sand, then turned to Wu Sheng. “Your turn.”
Wu Sheng narrowed his eyes slightly, not moving.
In a brief moment, he had reviewed all his stationery in his mind, but none were suitable for supernatural purposes.
While his [Man Catching Vine] might be good for visual deception, it would definitely give him away in a test of ghost energy.
“What are you dawdling for?” The Force Ghost frowned impatiently. “If you want to go to the Human Realm, come here. If not, leave.”
Xu Wang turned and walked back, glancing at Wu Sheng—Leave it to me.
Wu Sheng had thought about asking Xu Wang to secretly help with the spirit attached to his back, but he felt it wouldn’t escape the Force Ghost’s eyes.
But now, he had no choice but to go forward.
He walked up, passing Xu Wang, and stopped two steps away, just like Xu Wang had.
He held his breath, focused, and the vines on his body slowly moved. The next moment, a vine extended and plunged into the sand!
The base of the vine remained wrapped around Wu Sheng, with only the last third quietly resting in the sand.
Wu Sheng and the vine both remained still.
The sand didn’t move either.
Everything was eerily still.
Finally, the sand began to flow, slower than when Xu Wang was tested, but a faint ghost aura could still be felt enveloping the pot.
Wu Sheng’s half-tensed heart relaxed a bit, looking at the Force Ghost with a hint of inquiry.
The Force Ghost waved his hand. “That’s enough. You barely passed. Any weaker, and you wouldn’t have made it.”
Wu Sheng breathed a sigh of relief, finally at ease.
“You there.” The Force Ghost looked past Wu Sheng’s retreating figure to the Starving Ghost. “Don’t just stand there like an idiot. Come here.”
“Me?” The Starving Ghost was stunned, quickly shaking his head. “I’m not going to the Human Realm.”
The Force Ghost frowned. “If you’re not going, then what are you doing here?”
“I-I’m accompanying them,” the Starving Ghost said, somewhat nervously under the reprimand.
The Force Ghost sized him up and seemed to think it didn’t matter whether he was tested or not, as he clearly belonged in the Underworld. He didn’t waste any more words.
Shakily standing up and turning around, the Force Ghost faced the wall.
Instantly, the wall clattered down, revealing a dark and deep passage.
“At the end of this road is the Human Realm.” He stepped aside, looking at Wu Sheng and Xu Wang. “Go ahead.”
Xu Wang wanted to say goodbye to the Starving Ghost, but when he turned his head, he caught a glimpse of envy in the ghost’s eyes that hadn’t been retracted in time.
Xu Wang suddenly felt a bit annoyed. “Just trying it won’t cost you a piece of flesh!”
The Starving Ghost was startled by the shout. “Huh?”
“I mean, what’s the harm in just trying the sand pot?” Xu Wang reproached. “You give up before even trying. At this rate, you’ll never be able to do it.”
“But…”
“There are no ‘buts’! Do you want to wander around the edges of the Underworld forever? Never even getting a touch of ghost energy? You died of starvation in life. Do you want to starve to the point of soul dispersal in death?”
“I know you mean well,” the Starving Ghost muttered sulkily, “but why does it sound like a curse…”
Xu Wang, both amused and exasperated, let his spirit nudge the Starving Ghost forward. “Just try it already.”
The Force Ghost, standing beside the pot, didn’t stop him but looked disdainful, clearly not believing this one could pass.
The Starving Ghost hesitantly buried his hand in the sand.
Xu Wang found himself holding his breath, inexplicably even more nervous than during his own test.
The sand around the wrist of the Starving Ghost began to move first, rolling back and forth like blown by a gentle breeze.
Then, the sand slowly started to move. It wasn’t clear whether it was stronger or weaker than Xu Wang and Wu Sheng’s tests, as instead of flowing, it formed a moderate vortex under his hand.
The Force Ghost raised his long white eyebrows in surprise. “Didn’t expect it, but you do have some ghost power.”
Receiving affirmation, the Starving Ghost immediately relaxed, but his complexion worsened.
The Force Ghost observed him for a while, as if seeing through something, and sighed with rare kindness in his voice. “How much suffering did you endure in life? Go ahead to the Human Realm and absorb some ghost energy.”
The Starving Ghost became despondent, no longer speaking.
As the group walked through the dark tunnel in silence, Xu Wang tentatively called out, “Xiao Hungry?”
In the dark tunnel, where no light shone, they could only hear each other’s voices.
“Hm?” Thankfully, the Starving Ghost responded.
“How did you die in life?” Xu Wang asked the question that had been on his mind, but quickly added, “If you don’t want to talk about it, just ignore my question.”
“It’s not that I can’t talk about it.” The Starving Ghost’s voice in the darkness carried a bitter smile, not of complaint but of self-mockery. “I was deceived by a friend. He took all my money and left me alone in the wilderness. Eventually, I starved to death, penniless and unable to find my way home.”
“Didn’t you seek revenge after you died?” Xu Wang suddenly hoped Xiao Hungry was a vengeful ghost.
“I intended to, at first.” The Starving Ghost’s stomach rumbled embarrassingly, and he chuckled. “But then I was too hungry and weak, too lazy to bother.”
Xu Wang: “Too lazy to take revenge?!”
Wu Sheng: “Too lazy to take revenge?!”
Their sudden duet in disbelief made Xu Wang and Wu Sheng instinctively look at each other, but in the pitch-black tunnel, they couldn’t see each other’s figures. However, the overlapping “clear-cut sense of grievance and injustice” in their aura was still very strong.
Since high school, their principle had been to return the favor tenfold and retaliate against any offense, at least with a kick, possibly with an added elbow for interest.
So they couldn’t understand the Starving Ghost’s “generosity”.
“Haa, let’s not talk about me.” The Starving Ghost, clearly losing the argument, changed the subject. “We’re about to meet the manager of the Human Realm. Have you two thought about how to deal with him?”
Wu Sheng: “You said he’s looking for talents to serve in the Heavenly Realm?”
Starving Ghost: “Yes, both literary and martial talents. I heard the Western Courtyard has been restless lately, so the boss is also on edge.”
The words “Western Courtyard” tightened Xu Wang and Wu Sheng’s hearts a bit.
Feeling guilty is a natural human instinct, stronger in some and weaker in others, but non-existent in none.
“Western Courtyard?” Xu Wang pretended not to understand.
The Starving Ghost, unsuspecting, explained everything. “This mansion is divided into east and west courtyards. We are in the Eastern Courtyard, where everything is orderly. The Western Courtyard is more chaotic, without rules. Whoever has stronger ghost power rules…”
“Usually, the two courtyards don’t interfere with each other, but the leader of the Western Courtyard always feels that we in the East have more talented and powerful ghosts. He’s provoked us several times, wanting to take advantage during the chaos…”
“Actually,” Xu Wang carefully chose his words, “having the Western Courtyard join might not be a bad thing. Look at you guys now. To get closer to the Ghost Spring, you have to go through numerous assessments. But the Ghost Spring should be for everyone. It’s not fair if only a few can access it, right?”
The Starving Ghost fell silent.
Xu Wang’s words dissipated in the tunnel, and the air suddenly became awkward.
After an indeterminate time, as light began to seep through the end of the tunnel, the Starving Ghost suddenly asked, “Have you been to the Western Courtyard?”
Xu Wang hesitated for a moment.
Walking together until now, they were almost friends with the Starving Ghost. The guilt of lying to a friend was gradually taking root.
With resolve, he whispered, “No.”
“If you had been, you wouldn’t think so highly of it,” the Starving Ghost said solemnly. “There, the leader changes every few days. Whoever has stronger ghost power reigns. Constant fighting and chaos. Weaker ghosts can’t live peacefully. If you’re unlucky, you might get caught in the turmoil, and your soul will disperse.”
“If I have to choose between war and peace, I’d choose peace. And—” The tunnel reached its end, and the moonlight shone in, making the Starving Ghost’s face look more spirited. “If it were as chaotic as the Western Courtyard, I might never have met you guys.”
He grinned, revealing a sincere happiness amidst his ghostly demeanor.
Xu Wang suddenly found it hard to meet his eyes, changing the subject. “What did you say the Human Realm manager values most?”
The Starving Ghost, unaware of the change, naturally replied, “I heard he particularly values talent and appreciates knowledge of military strategies.”
……
Fifteen minutes later, in the Human Realm, at the manager’s assessment site.
Wu Sheng: “The ‘Thirty-Six Stratagems*’ is divided into Winning Stratagems, Enemy Dealing Stratagems, Offensive Stratagems, Mixed Warfare Stratagems, Combined Stratagems, Defeat Stratagems. Each set has six stratagems making thirty-six in total. Details as follows: Deceiving the Heavens to Cross the Sea, Besieging Wei to Rescue Zhao, Killing with a Borrowed Knife, Waiting at Leisure while the Enemy Labors…”
*A Chinese essay used to illustrate a series of stratagems used in politics, war, and civil interaction. Wu Sheng is basically reciting the contents of it. You can read all the things mentioned by going to the Wikipedia.
Wu Sheng: “’The Art of War’ by Sun Tzu, comprising thirteen chapters, including Laying Pans, The Waging of War, The Attack Stratagem, The Tactical Dispositions…”
Wu Sheng: “In Laying Plans, Sun Tzu said: War is a matter of vital importance to the state; a matter of life or death, the road to survival or ruin. It is mandatory that it be thoroughly studied…”
Half an hour later.
Human Realm Manager: “If I give you a ghost army, are you confident in assisting our boss to defend against the Western Courtyard?”
Wu Sheng: “No need for a ghost army. Two ghosts are enough.”
Human World Manager: “Which two?”
Wu Sheng: “This one to my left, as beautiful as a flower, and this one to my right, thin and pale.”
……
At the same time, Underworld, Eastern Courtyard.
Lao Qian and Xiao Kuang were lost.
The Underworld wasn’t only vast but also chaotic. The ghosts were relatively orderly, but the place itself was a mess. The main roads and paths crisscrossed in such a way that they often found themselves back where they started after walking for half a day.
Finally, in utter frustration, they smelled a faint scent of tallow amidst the decaying smell of the ghost mansion, which was as refreshing as menthol.
Following the scent, they sneaked into a secluded courtyard. Before they even reached the window, they heard the sound of men and women laughing—a sticky, ambiguous sound with an adult-only undertone.
There were no ghosts in the courtyard. Each of them quietly approached a window, which was wide open, revealing a scandalous scene inside.
A naked male ghost was lying on a bed, surrounded by four or five female ghosts in sheer garments. Some were snuggling in his arms, some were fanning him, and one was feeding him grapes. The male ghost was enjoying the moment, just like a veritable ghost version of Ximen Qing*.
*A fictional Chinese Song dynasty merchant, womanizer, and murderer in Yanggu County, Shandong. He is the male protagonist in the novel Jin Ping Mei and a minor character in the novel Water Margin.
Qian Ai was disgusted, resisting the urge to slap him, and tried to search the bed while avoiding the various bodies.
Suddenly, a piece of sheer fabric flew out of the bed towards the window!
Qian Ai instinctively dodged, and the fabric brushed past his face but hit Kuang Jinxin on the shoulder. In an instant, it wrapped around Kuang Jinxin tightly, entangling him completely!
Before Qian Ai could react, the fabric retracted, pulling Kuang Jinxin back into the room!
Kuang Jinxin, mummified by the fabric, fell to the floor with a thud.
The Flirtatious Ghost pushed away the female ghosts around him, and with a light flick of his finger, the fabric unraveled.
Kuang Jinxin was dizzy from the fall, and before he could get a clear look at the Flirtatious Ghost, the ghost had already leaned in close.
Kuang Jinxin, startled but immobile, let the ghost scrutinize him at close range. Secretly, he controlled his severed hand to slowly reach for the “ghost bed”. The hint for the badge was “Bed Loving Ghost,” meaning it was either on the ghost or the bed he was enamored with. Since the Flirtatious Ghost, who was naked, clearly had no badge on him, it had to be the bed.
The Flirtatious Ghost and the female ghosts were all focused on Kuang Jinxin, not noticing an extra “severed hand” on the bed.
“Where did you come from? You’ve got nice, tender skin,” the Flirtatious Ghost said flirtatiously, eyeing Kuang Jinxin. “I don’t discriminate between men and women. Want to try it with me?”
Just as he was about to touch Kuang Jinxin’s face, a loud shout came from the window. “Why don’t you try it with me!”
The Flirtatious Ghost, the female ghosts, and Kuang Jinxin all turned to see a flying head zooming in.
Qian Ai, in the form of a “flying head”, rushed to Kuang Jinxin’s side and swiftly pulled him away. Then he replaced Kuang Jinxin, face to face, nose to nose with the Flirtatious Ghost.
“How about me?” Qian Ai flipped his short hair seductively. “I’m especially energetic!”
“……” The Flirtatious Ghost visibly deflated.
Half a minute later.
“Hey, if you don’t agree, just say so. Why run away—” Qian Ai watched the fleeing Flirtatious Ghost in disbelief, feeling severely emotionally wounded.
With the Flirtatious Ghost gone, the female ghosts lost interest and drifted away.
This suited Qian Ai and Kuang Jinxin just fine.
The two friends scrambled onto the bed, searching thoroughly.
Soon, they had turned the bed inside out but found nothing—no shimmer and certainly no badge.
They looked at each other.
Kuang Jinxin: “At the Dream Ghost’s place?”
Qian Ai: “That’s the only possibility left.”
Just as they said this, a series of desperate screams approached from afar. It sounded like someone was screaming their lungs out.
Qian Ai and Kuang Jinxin were startled, lifting their heads to see the Flirtatious Ghost, who had just escaped, now rushing back like a whirlwind. It dashed straight into the room!
The two of them hurriedly got off the bed, on full alert!
But the Flirtatious Ghost completely ignored them, running straight to the bed and curling up into a ball, shivering all over. Gone was the slightest hint of its earlier flamboyance!
Qian Ai swallowed hard. “Is my shadow that terrifying…”
At the courtyard gate, a crowd of little ghosts had gathered, peering inside with curiosity, whispering among themselves.
Qian Ai and Kuang Jinxin walked out, pretending to be curious. “What happened to him?”
The ghosts in the Underworld floated around freely, and seeing two unfamiliar faces come out of the Flirtatious Ghost’s house didn’t seem odd to the onlookers. They were more than happy to share the gossip. “He must have gone crazy or something. He actually floated over to the Dream Ghost’s bed.”
The author has something to say:
Light a candle for the Flirtatious Ghost ╮(╯_╰)╭
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