Author: 颜凉雨 / Yan Liang Yu

Translator: Kinky || https://kinkytranslations.com/

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Chapter 19: Economy Class

As Wu Sheng and Qian Ai were locked in a “deep gaze” with the lion, the sky outside the airplane window suddenly darkened. The darkness was abrupt, as if someone had draped a black cloth over the entire plane.

Caught off guard by this change, Wu Sheng was momentarily bewildered until a gust of wind suddenly hit him face-on.

“Watch out—”

Before he could react, Qian Ai had tackled him into the seat. At the same time, something whizzed over their heads and landed down nearby with a thud!

The lights in the cabin flashed on!

Looking past Qian Ai, Wu Sheng saw the lion on the floor of the aisle. Had they been a second slower, they would now be under its claws. But even now, it was only a step away!

“Roar—”

The lion, having missed its pounce, growled furiously. It slightly arched its body, ready to leap up like lightning for a fierce attack!

This time, from a higher vantage, Wu Sheng and Qian Ai were wedged in between seat gaps, seemingly without any chance of a lucky escape.

However, contrary to Wu Sheng’s expectation, Qian Ai, who usually prioritized self-preservation, showed fear but no despair. Instead, there was a determined glint in his eyes—a desperate gamble.

“Biang biang noodles!!!”

Wu Sheng’s heart skipped a beat. In a life-or-death moment, you shout out a dish’s name?! But his ever-racing brain instantly conjured up a bowl of steaming Shaanxi belt noodles, thanks to Kuang Jinxin—the night before, the trio had dined at a nearby inn, and Kuang Jinxin had picked out this uniquely named dish from the menu.

Wait.

Wu Sheng stopped his mental image, starting to understand. He had always believed that “stationery is disposable”, but given the current situation, were Qian Ai’s [Words Like Pearls and Jade] not yet used up?!

As if to confirm his guess, right after Qian Ai’s roar, three wooden, three-dimensional characters appeared out of thin air above the seat! Aside from the character for “面” the remaining two identical characters were so complicated in their strokes that they seemed more like a chunk of wood carved into intricate patterns, so dense that they seemed like solid plates.

In a flash, these three plummeting characters gained a millisecond advantage in the struggle against the beast, landing atop the seats just before the pouncing lion. The lion crashed into the closely arranged characters with a thud, crushing “面” under its hind paws, but no matter what, it couldn’t get past those two ‘biang*’ characters!

*Click the link to see what the character biang looks like to see how complicated it is. It also shows you how to write the strokes (which is relevant per below).

It wasn’t that the lion was ineffective; it was that these characters were too buggy! They were complicated, tightly structured, and unsearchable in any dictionary. Still, as armor, they were “worth three ordinary characters”, none of which could be less than fifteen strokes. According to the innkeeper’s recitation, to write ‘biang’, you need a mnemonic—

Apex rising up to the sky, over two bends of the Yellow River’s side, the character for ‘eight’ is opening wide, while character ‘speech’ enters inside, you twist, I twist, you grow, I grow, sandwiching a big King horse inside, with ‘heart’ below and ‘moon’ beside, leaving a hook to hang the sugar candy low, on our carriage to Xianyang we’ll ride*.

*Clarity: There’s a song that basically teaches you how to write the character ‘biang’. You can watch this YouTube video that breaks down each character and also goes over the song. It’s quite informative.

Wu Sheng: “On the count of three, we’ll flip the wooden characters and the lion together.”

Qian Ai: “Then what?”

Wu Sheng: “Run towards economy class.”

Qian Ai: “I like this plan.”

Five minutes earlier, in economy class.

Wives crying, children fussing, luggage clattering down, balloons flying, flight attendants chasing, a suitcase of cash burned to ashes.

Xu Wang, relying on his strong willpower and psychological quality, had made it to rows 54 and 55, completely drained. Could a diligent mouth bring out a golden foul? He hadn’t managed to do so and felt utterly exhausted.

“What’s wrong?” Feng Wusi (54), who had been chatting halfway, suddenly stopped, looking at Xu Wang somewhat timidly. “Do you also think I’m a bit odd?”

Xu Wang sighed tiredly, trying to muster a smile, and waved it off. “Not at all.”

Feng Wusi lowered his head, murmuring, “Everyone thinks that daytime flights are safer, but I just like red-eye flights.”

Red-eye flights, or overnight flights, are so named because passengers often have tired, red eyes from the difficulty of resting well on the plane—Xu Wang had just been educated about this by the passenger.

“You youngsters always pursue these ethereal feels and a sense of ritual.” Before Xu Wang could speak, Hua Wuwu (55), sitting next to Feng Wusi, had already interjected very naturally into the conversation. “Sitting on a plane, what’s the difference between day and night flights? It’s not like you’re piloting it.”

This was a very familiar young man, thin and tall, fashionably dressed with ash-gray dyed hair and delicate, handsome features that inexplicably evoked a protective instinct.

Provided he kept silent.

However, “silence is golden” was too difficult for him. Xu Wang and Feng Wusi had hardly chatted for two minutes before he interrupted at least five times, smoothly taking over the conversation and twisting it into his “storyline”.

But Xu Wang really didn’t want to chat more with this storytelling fellow!

“Learn from me. Pursue something tangible and touchable.” Perhaps influenced by Xu Wang’s previous coldness, this time Hua Wuwu didn’t bother him, instead imposing his “life philosophy” on Feng Wusi. “Life isn’t measured by its length, but by its breadth. When you look back, you won’t regret the colorless or the parched. Then, at your deathbed, you can say, my entire life and all my energy have been devoted to the world’s most magnificent cause!”

Feng Wusi, who had been shrinking, looked up for the first time, locking eyes with Hua Wuwu. There was a light of longing flashing in his eyes. “W-What cause?”

Hua Wuwu leaned closer, uttering each word with the utmost seriousness. “Car—nal—plea—sure*.”

*(声色犬马) Idiom referring to a hedonistic life pursuing sensual pleasure. Broken down, it means sound, color, dogs, horses; the former two refer to the pleasure of song and women, while the latter two refer to hunting and racing (gambling).

Feng Wusi: “……”

Xu Wang clutched his chest. In that moment, he had once again harbored a sliver of hope and illusion for Hua Wuwu’s values. He thought he didn’t need anyone’s help; he would just slap himself!

“But I’m also not one to talk.” Hua Wuwu suddenly changed his tone, looking up slightly with a sad sigh. “As lively as I talk, I’m a giant in thought but a dwarf in action. Haa—” he exhaled gently, as if blowing out imaginary smoke rings. “I too wish to have a fast and furious adventure in these thirty thousand feet of air, alas, a pear blossom falls in the rain in vain, nowhere to find a begonia*…”

*This is referring to the line a pear blossom presses against the begonia (一树梨花压海棠) supposedly written by Su Shi to poke fun at his friend Zhang Xian’s behavior of taking concubines at an old age.  Apparently, Zhang Xian was 80 when he married an 18-year-old concubine; thus, the imagery being painted is the pear blossom (old, white/gray) pressing against a begonia flower (it’s often praised for its beauty). || In this context, he’s basically saying he (the pear blossom) couldn’t find the younger partner (begonia) to press on.

“Enough is enough!” Xu Wang couldn’t bear it any longer. All this was such a mess. Not only was the content unhealthy, but the logic was also flawed. “Do you really understand, or are you just pretending? I know without even trying that speed and passion are inversely proportional on this matter!”

Hua Wuwu was taken aback for a moment, then as if enlightenment had struck him, he looked at Xu Wang with bright eyes, as if he had just truly understood the grand harmony of life. “Oh, you…”

He probably meant to compliment Xu Wang, but as soon as he uttered “you”, a group of passengers suddenly burst out from business class with shrieks and screams.

Probably around ten or twenty people ran frantically to the tail of the plane, huddling there and inadvertently blocking Long Legs, Handsome, Stick Figure, and Fair Face, and Kuang Jinxin who was guarding them. But in their panic, the passengers probably didn’t notice these individuals, as they were running backward the whole time, turning around only when there was no way forward, their eyes filled with terror as they stared at the long corridor at the end—the junction of economy and business class.

Xu Wang was in the middle of economy class, maintaining a sideways stance to give way to the rushing crowd, looking at the terrified faces at the left end, then at the junction of the two cabins on the right, unconsciously swallowing his saliva with a foreboding feeling.

Just as his last hair stood on end, darkness suddenly descended.

Xu Wang dared not move, trying to remain calm while standing still. His heart, however, had leaped to his throat.

Fortunately, it was only a few seconds before the lights in the cabin turned back on.

Seats, passengers, luggage racks—everything became clear and visible again, but the feel of the cabin under the bright daylight was now starkly different. It was still dark outside the windows, like a vast night, and the cabin, though lit, wasn’t very bright, maintaining just the basic visibility, exuding the quiet and eeriness of night.

“A… red eye?” Feng Wusi suddenly muttered to himself, uncertain yet with a tinge of hope.

Xu Wang looked up at the lights in silence, finally piecing together the cause and effect, and turned to pat Feng Wusi’s head. “Congratulations, your wish has come true.”

Having gone through all sorts of disheartening events, Xu Wang genuinely felt Feng Wusi’s little wish was completely tolerable. It hadn’t led to any fires or fights, no spousal disputes or luggage thrown at heads—it might as well be in a children’s amusement park.

By comparison, he was more worried about the situation in business class.

So many passengers running over must mean something “big” had been triggered there. Although he was relatively reassured with Wu Sheng there, as a teammate and old classmate, not going to check it out after hearing the commotion seemed both unreasonable and illogical…

“Roar roar roar—”

…Maybe he shouldn’t go after all!

“Xu Wang, move aside—”

Wu Sheng’s figure and his shout appeared at the same time, and without a second thought, Xu Wang instinctively obeyed, forcibly squeezing into Hua Wuwu’s spot.

Just as he had settled into his seat, Wu Sheng and Qian Ai ran into the economy class, with a relentless lion hot on their heels only a meter behind!

“What the hell—” Xu Wang despaired, feeling the need to apologize to all the passengers in economy class. Compared to this “storyline”, their joys and sorrows were harmony itself!

In the blink of an eye, Wu Sheng and Qian Ai had reached the middle of the cabin, and with a shout of “move”, they, as if pre-arranged, dived into the seats on either side, instantly clearing a wide path in the aisle.

Whether by coincidence or design, Wu Sheng dove right into Xu Wang’s row, who opened his arms to catch him. Just as he steadied him, before he could feel more, Wu Sheng lifted his head and quickly said, “A scumbag cheated and caught his mistress in a dramatic air-bound affair with another scumbag whose girlfriend happened to be a circus magician.”

Xu Wang was confused but realized Wu Sheng was probably answering his earlier question.

But—

“Did you trigger this?”

“Qian Ai.”

“…How many people are even in first class?!”

“He might have used a group attack.”

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