Author: 易修罗 / Yi Xiu Luo

Translator: Kinky || https://kinkytranslations.com/

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Chapter 42

When Ling Xiao said this, his expression was extraordinarily melancholic. For a split second, Ying Feng never wanted to know the truth inside that box.

What he didn’t know was that just yesterday, Ling Xiao had the idea to destroy the contents of the box. Yet, Ying Feng’s actions today in defending him dispelled that thought. Agreeing to let Ying Feng open it after his death was the greatest concession he could make. Still, even then, Ying Feng would probably think it was just a pile of worthless junk inside.

Then, he saw Ying Feng pull out a dagger from his chest. Due to this action, his eyes widened in shock.

“Just to see what’s inside, you’re so eager to kill me?”

Upon hearing this, the corner of Ying Feng’s eyes twitched. He then handed the dagger to Ling Xiao, hilt-first, with a cold expression.

Ling Xiao stared intently for a while, finally realizing Ying Feng’s intention.

He tentatively took it, half-doubting. “For me?”

Ying Feng didn’t deny.

“Mine…”

“It broke when fighting the Kui.”

Only then did Ling Xiao remember. With all the unexpected events happening lately, such trivial matters had been pushed to the back of his mind.

Realizing his misunderstanding, Ling Xiao shyly lowered his head under the pretense of inspecting the dagger. He then noticed the pattern engraved on it. After closely identifying it, he realized it was a depiction of the Kui.

“What’s this?” he asked.

“Kui,” Ying Feng succinctly replied.

“I know it’s Kui… I’m asking why is it Kui?”

“Just a memento.”

Because of the Kui, both their life trajectories had changed. Whether they liked it or not, the Kui had intertwined their paths. So, when the shopkeeper asked what to engrave, the first thing he thought of was the Kui.

Ling Xiao hesitated. Under these circumstances, he should say thank you. But thinking of the recent events and all that Ying Feng had done, he couldn’t bring himself to utter those words. As he grappled with his emotions, Ying Feng sat down to read a book borrowed from the library.

Ling Xiao knew that Ying Feng didn’t expect a thank you, just as he didn’t expect an apology for the other day. The room was silent except for the rustling sound of pages turning. Ling Xiao never knew that Ying Feng was such a studious person. Unfortunately, with his back turned, Ling Xiao couldn’t see the book’s cover or its contents.

Feeling the atmosphere was too stifling, Ling Xiao moved to leave. As he opened the door, Ying Feng, without turning his head, asked, “Where are you going?”

The words “none of your business” circled in Ling Xiao’s throat but eventually came out as a muffled, “Going to eat.”

This time, Ying Feng didn’t stop him. Ling Xiao used the secondary card that Ying Feng had given him to pay in the cafeteria. The balance was considerably higher than the previous day. He wasn’t good at math, so he struggled to figure out how much extra was added, which seemed more complex than simply doubling the allowance.

“Hey, you’re back.” The cafeteria worker greeted cheerfully upon seeing him. “Going for the most expensive meal again?”

Ling Xiao smiled embarrassedly. “Just the nutritious meal, please.”

“You look much better than yesterday,” the worker remarked. “Yesterday you looked as if you hadn’t eaten in days. If you don’t nourish yourself well during your growth period, you might not grow tall.”

Ling Xiao thanked him for his concern and found a spot to enjoy his meal.

……

Back in the dorm, Ying Feng alone opened the first book he borrowed, flipping directly to the chapter he was interested in, reading it carefully.

—The fluid of a Qizhu, based on the Qizhu’s intentions or the needs of the Qizi, has varying effects on the Qizi, with each fluid having a specific function.

Below are examples:

—Blood: Enhances combat power, provides nutrients, invigorates, and can delay death in critical situations, mainly for strengthening.

—Saliva: Calms pain, detoxifies, hypnotizes, numbs, and can mildly alleviate negative emotions of the Qizi, mainly for suppression.

—Semen: Causes hallucinogenic effects, unusual excitement, similar to how drugs affect other races, easily addictive.

Ying Feng recalled the events of the previous night, confirming that he had no intention of seducing Ling Xiao at all, because he didn’t even know that blood had such an effect.

According to the book, the triggering conditions were one, the thoughts of the Qizhu, and two, the needs of the Qizi. This meant that Ling Xiao’s reaction was actually caused by the subconscious needs of the body.

If this guess was correct, then the rumors from the logistics staff weren’t rumors, but facts. The combination was the best way to safely pass the danger period, but what was the reason?

Setting aside this doubt for the moment, he turned to the next chapter of concern, which was an explanation of mental damage:

—If the negative emotions triggered by hormones are not fully appeased during the disorder/danger period, these negative emotions will linger in the subconscious of the Qizi, causing lifelong mental damage.

—Mental injuries can be categorized as mild, moderate, or severe, corresponding to the time the Qizi can live independently from the Qizhu. A mentally fully developed Qizi will not be affected even if separated from the Qizhu, but a mildly mentally damaged Qizi will gradually develop symptoms such as anxiety, restlessness, and insomnia after leaving the Qizhu for a month. As time goes on, the symptoms will gradually deepen until they reach the level of danger.

—The separation period that can be accepted for moderate severity is about half of the mild, and those with severe mental injuries cannot leave their own Qizhu for even one day. Otherwise, they will not be able to sleep normally and can only rely on drugs for sleep.

Ying Feng’s brows became more and more furrowed, and by the last line, he simply closed the book and set off to find Yao Tai.

When Ling Xiao finished eating and came out, he happened to see Ying Feng passing by. He looked so solemn that he didn’t even notice himself not far away, which aroused Ling Xiao’s curiosity. Without being noticed, he secretly followed and came to the medical building with Ying Feng.

When Yao Tai saw Ying Feng, the first thing she thought of was a problem with Ling Xiao, “What happened to Ling Xiao again?”

“He’s much better than yesterday.” But Ying Feng wanted to talk about something else. “You said he had mild mental damage. Does this mean the two must live together forever? As long as they are separated, will the Qizi’s mind have problems?”

“What kind of answer do you want to hear?” Yao Tai countered. “Didn’t you disdain it the first time I told you? In theory, yes. But in practice, no pair of Qizhu and Qizi live separately. All spouses live together, and the so-called separation is only temporary, such as going out to fight. Unless you join the military in the future and fight on alien planets, then you need to consider having a mentally damaged Qizi at home.”

“Is this damage really impossible to heal?” Ying Feng pressed.

“It’s impossible to heal, but it’s easy to get worse. If you neglect it like before, it’s only a matter of time before it develops into a moderate or even more serious level. Now you have no other way, you can only control it.” Yao Tai paused. “You should be grateful that Ling Xiao doesn’t know about this yet. His danger period is not over. To keep in a good mood, you must not stimulate his emotions. After this period is stable, you can slowly tell him the truth.”

Ling Xiao, hiding outside and hearing every word between the two clearly, covered his mouth tightly. He originally thought that as long as he gritted his teeth and persevered for a few years, he could fly freely. It wasn’t until this moment that he realized how wishful his thinking was. Invisible shackles had already chained him, yet he naively believed freedom would come.

He couldn’t hear what the two inside were saying anymore, and he left in a daze, coming to a place that haunted his memories. Lan Sheng jumped down here, and from that day, Ping Zong left them forever. It seemed that from that moment, the luck of his life had come to an end.

He lost his best friend, freedom, dignity, everything. He had nothing left.

He sat where Lan Sheng had once jumped, looking at the scenery he had seen. The ground was so distant, yet the clouds were within reach.

Never before had Ling Xiao felt so defeated—he had sworn to become a Qizhu but ended up someone else’s Qizi; he thought he could make it through the tumultuous period with effort, but in the end relied on Ying Feng’s power; he once thought he could live strong alone, but even this right was taken away. He would have to live his life attached to another person, and only death could bring true relief.

“Lan Sheng,” he muttered to himself. “We promised to see each other again, but I didn’t want our meeting place to be the disease control center. I’ve always insisted on waiting for you outside, but if I have to rely on the mercy of others just to survive, is such persistence really worth it?”

“Do you know, even after what happened last night, I initiated it. I have lost face my whole life, and in front of him, I have none left to lose. When he’s cruel to me, I feel it’s brutal. When he’s good to me, I feel it’s charity. No matter what he does, I can’t face him. I used to have the motivation to leave, but now even that is gone.”

“Lan Sheng, if you and Ping Zong were still here, would you encourage me to go on? Or to give up?”

Sadly, neither Lan Sheng nor Ping Zong could answer.

“Ling Xiao!” A voice roared with anger. Ling Xiao turned around to see a familiar scene. It must have been the same view Lan Sheng saw when he stood there, except that Ping Zong would no longer appear at the door, and their roles had been reversed.

Ling Xiao saw the expressions on Ying Feng and Yao Tai’s faces and knew they had misunderstood. Not wanting them to think he was giving up on life, he pushed off the wall, intending to jump back over it. However, his hand slipped, and he accidentally fell.

Is this a joke? I wasn’t planning to die.

His body lost its balance. Ying Feng’s face disappeared bit by bit behind the wall. Ling Xiao could clearly see the shock in Ying Feng’s eyes. So, even Ying Feng could make such an expression.

Ling Xiao wondered, ‘Would Ying Feng feel even a little sad if I died?’

Suddenly, a force gripped him, stopping his fall. Looking up, he saw Ying Feng dangling in mid-air, one hand on the wall and the other clutching the corner of his sleeve. Despite Ying Feng’s strength, he couldn’t pull him up with just that grip. Ling Xiao felt himself slipping.

Ling Xiao hadn’t expected Ying Feng to try to save him. Actually, upon reflection, Ying Feng had always been good to him: buying him bread, comforting him during tough nights, taking him to escape during danger, and facing death alone—all because they were classmates, not because he was a Qizi.

Why couldn’t they just be classmates?

Due to exertion, Ying Feng’s hand started shaking uncontrollably. Ling Xiao wanted to help, but as he tried to raise his free hand, it froze. He remembered Lan Sheng, who was once gripped by Ying Feng in the same manner and chose to pull out a dagger to cut his own sleeve and fall. He suddenly understood why Ying Feng restricted his movements: had Ping Zong been able to control Lan Sheng, he wouldn’t have cut his sleeve, and Ping Zong wouldn’t have died.

However, in that moment, Ling Xiao felt utter despair. Whether to hold onto Ying Feng or to pull out the dagger, whether to live or die, was not his decision. From the moment the Kui appeared, his fate was sealed. It was his delusion to prolong his life, but now he had to pay the price.

What he truly desired deep down was freedom. All past stubbornness suddenly became meaningless, and his attachment to life disappeared. He hoped in the next life, whether as a Qizhu or Qizi, he would find a mutual love.

Lan Sheng, it’s a pity I can’t fulfill our promise.

Ping Zong, I wonder if I’ll get a chance to sleep beside you in the base.

Ying Feng, what I’m most grateful for are the words that never left my lips, forever remaining in my heart.

With no distractions, Ling Xiao closed his eyes, calmly facing the end of his life.

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