Author: 易修罗 / Yi Xiu Luo
Translator: Kinky || https://kinkytranslations.com/
Chapter 35
Ying Feng sat alone on the bench in the corridor of the medical building. Subconsciously, he continued his usual habit, taking out the peach pit and slowly rubbing it in his hand. But the calmness he usually felt when doing this was absent today. Instead, he felt more restless, and the object in his hand mysteriously seemed heavier, prompting him to hastily put it away.
Ling Xiao spent much more time inside than he did. He wondered what Yao Tai could be discussing with him that would take so long. The corridor was quiet, and he could faintly hear some sounds from the room. If he wished, he could listen more clearly. But he deliberately turned off the part of his brain that processes external information, turning the conversation behind the wall into an indistinguishable blur.
After what felt like an eternity, the closed door finally opened, and Yao Tai escorted Ling Xiao out herself.
“You should go and pack your belongings now. It might be too late if you delay any further. I’ll inform you if there’s anything else.”
Ying Feng didn’t understand what she meant by “pack your belongings” until after Ling Xiao had left. Only then did Yao Tai say to him, “You can come in now.”
Upon re-entering the medical room, Yao Tai remained silent, merely staring at Ying Feng with an indecipherable expression, making him uneasy.
“What’s the matter?” Finally, even someone of Ying Feng’s temperament couldn’t contain his curiosity any longer and had to ask.
“You two have already… done it, haven’t you?”
The bluntness of her question caught Ying Feng off guard, and there was a brief moment of unease on his face before he tacitly confirmed.
Actually, it was quite evident. When Ling Xiao took off his shirt, Yao Tai had spotted something suspicious, and his medical report solidified that observation.
“Other than that, I can’t think of any reason that would suppress the side effects raging within Ling Xiao. According to the medication records from the medical station, they didn’t even administer a purifying agent to Ling Xiao. That both of you, by some twist of fate, managed to save each other’s lives—even as a scientist, I have to admit that sometimes destiny is indeed magical.”
No matter how mature and composed Ying Feng usually appeared, he had only just become an adult less than a day ago. He couldn’t discuss such matters as casually as Yao Tai. So even if he didn’t fully understand some parts of her explanation, he pretended to be indifferent and refrained from asking.
Recognizing his discomfort on the topic, Yao Tai moved on without elaborating and placed two medical reports in front of Ying Feng.
“When Ling Xiao was at the medical station, his psychological assessment was low risk. In less than two hours, it became high risk. Can you explain why?”
Ying Feng hadn’t expected such a drastic change. “He was taken directly from the medical station to the detention center by military personnel. But we quickly bailed him out. The entire process didn’t exceed half an hour,” he summarized succinctly.
Yao Tai had suspected as much. “Ling Xiao’s current psychological assessment is Level E, which is high risk. Level F is a severe warning level, akin to the mental state Lan Sheng was in. If Ling Xiao drops to F, for safety reasons, we must isolate him. However, I really don’t want to do that. Even the most advanced medical treatments can’t compare to the company of a Qizhu. Forced isolation often leads to the Qizi’s mental state deteriorating further, eventually reaching Level G.”
“And once the psychological rating drops to Level G, the suicide rate is 99%. The only difference is between succeeding or failing. Even though Ling Xiao appears calm on the surface, this tranquility could be a sign of utter despair. This must be taken very seriously.”
“No matter whether you two were brought together by choice or circumstance, what’s done is done. He is now your Qizi. You have the responsibility to protect him.”
“A Qizi, especially one who has just completed the coming-of-age ceremony, is easily influenced by their Qizhu. Your words, actions, and behavior can push them towards extremities. The ten days following the coming-of-age ceremony are crucial. Any minor misstep could result in irreversible psychological damage.”
“The colder you are towards him, the more his unease will intensify. Once negative emotions accumulate to a certain level, he might resort to self-harm or even worse outcomes. As a school doctor who has witnessed nearly a hundred tragedies, I am not exaggerating the gravity of the situation.”
Ying Feng fell silent for a moment. “What do you want me to do?”
“Embrace and caress, care for every detail. These can alleviate the unease of a new Qizi, depending on whether you’re willing to do it.”
“What if I’m not willing?”
“Then control him. Control his heart, dominate his actions, and prevent him from harming himself.”
“How do I do that?”
“Focus on breaking through his mental barrier. Regardless of how much he resists or how much pain he displays, ignore it.”
“Is this how you treated the doctor before?”
“We’re different. I never faced such dire circumstances. I took ample time to gradually weaken his mental defenses, slowly penetrating his heart. It took me about six months to master this ability.”
“How can you be sure that the ability you took half a year to master, I can acquire in such a short time?”
“As long as you focus, you can do it. It shouldn’t be difficult for you.”
“If it’s so simple, why couldn’t Ping Zong do it?”
“Because he had feelings for Lan Sheng. Do you have feelings for Ling Xiao?”
Yao Tai hit the nail on the head, and Ying Feng didn’t respond.
“Ying Feng, Lan Sheng, and Ping Zong were your classmates too. You were there when the accident happened. I believe it must have affected you. Can you bear to see Ling Xiao follow in their footsteps?”
“You’ve been classmates with Ling Xiao for ten years. Even if there isn’t love, isn’t there some sort of camaraderie? Please, I don’t want to see another soul leave this academy.”
Ying Feng’s gaze flickered, avoiding her expectant look.
“There’s one more thing, perhaps, as the school doctor, I shouldn’t say. Out of all the tenth graders, the two I least wish to face during the coming-of-age ceremony are you two.”
“But if you two inevitably face each other, a winner must be decided.” Yao Tai’s gaze was complicated as she looked at him. “Ying Feng, I hope it’s you.”
Ying Feng was slightly moved.
“I admit, it’s unfair to Ling Xiao to think this way, but if you lose, I know you wouldn’t choose to live.”
“But if Ling Xiao loses, whether he can survive depends on you, and moreover…”
Yao Tai’s voice suddenly stopped, and Ying Feng found it odd. “Moreover what?”
I’ve already been humiliated enough. Please let me retain the last bit of my dignity.
Yao Tai shook her head, dismissing the lingering image from her mind. “Never mind, Ling Xiao should be waiting outside your dorm by now. You should hurry back.”
“Why is he waiting outside?”
“Don’t you know? Qizi doesn’t have the right to own a key card. Once he becomes a Qizi, his card will be demagnetized, and his dorm will be canceled. He can only stay with you. This is also for his psychological well-being. Being alone would make him anxious, especially at night. Remember my words, only you can help him.”
Yao Tai saw Ying Feng out. When he was out of sight, she turned to find someone standing in the dark corridor.
“Principal? Why are you here?”
The principal slowly emerged. “I was worried, so I came to check.”
“I’ve said everything. As to whether they can do it,” Yao Tai wasn’t very hopeful, “it’s up to them.”
“What do you think will happen?”
Yao Tai sighed deeply and shook her head. “If someone doesn’t realize their feelings in time, by the time they do, it’s often too late.”
……
Ying Feng returned to his dorm to find Ling Xiao indeed waiting outside.
He and his luggage were standing there alone, resembling a homeless stray dog.
Ying Feng slowed his pace, stretching out the time to absorb this scene. Lost in thought, Ling Xiao only noticed him at the last second.
He immediately turned his head, this moment felt even more awkward than when Ying Feng had cruelly pinned him to a door during a previous encounter.
Ying Feng entered without another word, leaving the door ajar without inviting Ling Xiao in. Ling Xiao hesitated for a long time before finally stepping inside. The layout of Ying Feng’s room was the same as his own. He now understood why single dorm rooms had double beds. Recalling how he had once joked it was to prevent falling off during sleep seemed so absurd now.
Ying Feng showed no reaction to the sudden addition of someone in his bedroom, as if Ling Xiao’s presence or absence had nothing to do with him.
Without saying a word, he went about his own business—brushing, turning off the lights, going to bed. Ling Xiao stood there as if he were a redundant decoration. However, even decorations could have aesthetic value, yet the master of the room didn’t even bother to give him a sparing glance.
With the lights off, Ling Xiao actually felt slightly better. He looked at the bed, where Ying Feng had already lain down, occupying the left half, leaving the entire right side empty.
Ling Xiao remembered that in the past, Ying Feng had refused to share a tent with anyone, preferring to sleep outside rather than share a bed. However, looking around, there was nowhere for Ling Xiao to lay his own bedding, especially since his sleeping bag had been taken to their training location and was now missing.
After what seemed like ages of standing in the dark, Ling Xiao finally took a reluctant step.
Although Ying Feng was lying down, he wasn’t asleep until the rustling sounds from within the room reached him. He heard Ling Xiao enter the bathroom, followed by the sound of water. Soon, the water stopped, and footsteps approached the bed.
Ying Feng could imagine the internal struggle Ling Xiao was facing. After an unknown length of time, Ying Feng felt the bed shift, indicating that Ling Xiao had finally lain down, being careful not to be noticed.
Ling Xiao occupied a small edge on the other side of the bed, leaving an entire shoulder-width gap between them on the double bed—enough space for another person to lie comfortably.
The room was incredibly silent. Neither made a sound. This was their “wedding night,” and it had arrived without fanfare.
……
Ying Feng was indeed not suitable for sharing a space with others. It took him a long time to drift into sleep, but he was soon awakened by a peculiar noise.
Propping himself up and turning around, he saw Ling Xiao, who had previously laid down, now curled up in a corner. Despite his efforts to control himself, he was trembling. It was this shaking that had awakened Ying Feng.
Ling Xiao bit hard on his wrist to stifle any noise, his eyes fixed on a spot. Ying Feng remembered learning in class that this method could be used to concentrate and not lose consciousness when experiencing extreme pain.
Because of his ability to perceive any slight illumination in the dark, Ling Xiao’s translucent eyes appeared exceptionally bright, almost as if they glowed. But the emotions they held weren’t of vigor but of fear and unease.
So, this was the dreadful night of the so-called “chaotic period”. If Ying Feng hadn’t witnessed it, he would never have imagined someone with Ling Xiao’s strong-willed nature showing such vulnerability.
“You…”
Before Ying Feng could say more, a pillow was thrown at him. After swatting it away, he saw a Ling Xiao, unlike the daytime version, anger glaring from those luminous eyes, seemingly furious that his current state was seen by Ying Feng.
“Mind your own business!” His voice was out of control, almost hysterical.
Known for being more assertive than anyone, Ying Feng’s concern evaporated. He turned over and ignored Ling Xiao’s current state, pushing away any thoughts of the chaotic period.
For Ling Xiao, every time he closed his eyes, he felt like he was in an endless void. Sometimes floating, sometimes spinning, sometimes in an eternal free fall.
In the infirmary Yao Tai advised that without physical contact between the Qizi and their Qizhu, it would be like their souls were separated, making sleep impossible at night. But Ling Xiao would rather maintain his pride in front of Ying Feng. However, he never expected even this humiliating moment to be witnessed by him.
Thinking the day was long, he found the night seemed much longer. As dawn broke, the feeling of disconnection finally faded, but his energy was drained.
Having his sleep disrupted, Ying Feng woke up later than usual. Upon waking, he noticed a distinct change in his body. Even though this change occurred during the pre-awakening period, it wasn’t as intense as now.
Before Ying Feng fully awoke, Ling Xiao pretended to be asleep. After a quick glance at him, Ying Feng headed to the bathroom to take care of his “trouble”. When he returned, he found Ling Xiao up and about, heading into the bathroom himself.
Ying Feng had no idea that Ling Xiao couldn’t sleep at all. He thought that after experiencing what happened last night, Ling Xiao might sleep a little longer. Hence, in a not-so-friendly tone, he asked, “What are you doing?”
Ling Xiao answered even more coldly, “Going to school.”
Ying Feng reminded him, “You’re on leave.” A full fifteen-day honeymoon leave. He had unintentionally heard other students discussing this leave before, and their tones were rather intriguing.
Ling Xiao was well aware. He was one of those who discussed this leave with an intriguing tone, often saying that it wasn’t a vacation but a honeymoon leave. This probably meant they were kept so busy by their Qizhu that they couldn’t go out. Precisely for this reason, he was more determined to attend class.
“I don’t need it,” he declared, and then forcefully closed the bathroom door.
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