Author: 反舌鸟 / Mockingbird

Translator: Kinky || https://kinkytranslations.com/

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Chapter 4

Yu Ruoyun thought, ‘Dreams can’t be this real, but this is indeed a dream.’

That person was kissing him, passionately. It was the same person who had previously, out of the blue, announced another breakup and disappeared, only to suddenly return, pretending nothing had happened, and walked right back into his life. Yet, Yu Ruoyun still opened the door for him.

In the midst of their kissing, that person said, “I went to Thailand.”

“To watch a ladyboy show?” Yu Ruoyun asked.

“I went to see a master to see if he could cast a spell on you,” the other person said. “But those scammers only wanted to introduce me to raising spirits because it was more expensive. So, I came back.”

As he spoke, he bit Yu Ruoyun’s neck, his hair brushing against Yu Ruoyun’s chin, making it a bit itchy.

“What kind of spell?” Yu Ruoyun looked down at the person, but his face was obscured by hair.

He could only feel the other person pause for a second before saying, “Of course, a spell to curse your career, make you unlucky every day, and die early.”

Yu Ruoyun thought he was about to wake up. Why hadn’t the curse come true yet?

But in the dream, the person left and didn’t return.

Before resuming work, Yu Ruoyun watched some of his own scenes.

The director observed Yu Ruoyun’s expression and asked for his thoughts.

“It might be my issue.” Yu Ruoyun didn’t avoid the topic. “I feel my condition isn’t very good.”

The director thought the film emperor was too hard on himself. While directing, he only saw Yu Ruoyun stand out, too prominent, but it wasn’t his fault. This was Yu Ruoyun, after all, undeniably eye-catching.

“I’m wondering why I took this role,” Yu Ruoyun said.

The director was stunned and couldn’t answer.

Yu Ruoyun didn’t need to; everyone thought so. Even though there had been few good movie scripts in recent years, Yu Ruoyun could afford to wait. He wasn’t a rising star who would be overtaken if he didn’t work for a while. But Yu Ruoyun had taken the role. This big project was a coveted opportunity for others, but a poison pill for Yu Ruoyun. Because of his participation, the original setting was altered, and the script had to be modified to age the main character a few years.

Of course, there were people online mocking him, saying the film emperor had lowered his standards. Others felt sorry, wondering why the young stars of Yu Ruoyun’s generation had such strange career paths. The top star Yu Ruoyun had fallen into a pit, and Jiang Yu, who used to be able to compete with him, had suddenly died.

But fortunately, this was Yu Ruoyun. Despite the doubts, Yu Ruoyun still said, “Since I took the role, I will give it my all and get back in shape.”

This reassured the director, and Yu Ruoyun added, “There’s one more thing. If it’s possible…”

“Can you keep Long Xingyu away from me?” Yu Ruoyun made what was possibly the most unreasonable request of his career.

Everyone thought this had to be Long Xingyu’s fault.

Yu Ruoyun wasn’t someone who made things difficult for others. For him, this was already getting angry. The director couldn’t do much, nor did he know how to handle it—set up a barbed wire fence between Yu Ruoyun and Long Xingyu? But at least he could pass the message along.

By the time Long Xingyu heard it, the message had been distorted. “Yu Ruoyun wants you to get lost. He said he doesn’t want to see you.”

Long Xingyu was stunned, dropping his half-eaten whole-wheat bread. “Did he really say that?”

“Yes,” the messenger said. “What did you do to make Mr. Yu so angry? I don’t think you’ll last long in this crew.”

Long Xingyu had mixed feelings.

On one hand, he wanted someone to leak this to the press so he could make it to the trending topics, letting everyone see how Yu Ruoyun bullied newcomers.

On the other hand, he wanted to rush to Yu Ruoyun and ask what he meant. How could someone who hadn’t even exchanged a few words with him earn such high-level contempt? If Yu Ruoyun could so easily hate someone, he wouldn’t have lived over thirty years before dying. He would have been stabbed to death by Yu Ruoyun long ago.

Before anyone could speculate about his possible blacklisting, Long Xingyu dashed off.

The place wasn’t big, and he ran fast. Soon he saw Yu Ruoyun from a distance. Stopping several meters away, Long Xingyu sat down against a wall under the scorching sun.

Under the sun, Long Xingyu calmly pondered his past.

Yu Ruoyun probably knew who Long Xingyu was—a member of a boy band with some fame, clinging to him with ulterior motives, naturally needing to be shaken off quickly.

But he wouldn’t know that Long Xingyu had died once—a failed suicide attempt—crushed by online trolls, feeling unrecognized, and overwhelmed by numerous trivialities. Long Xingyu had a diary filled with the worries of someone his age. The last entry was nearly frantic, asking what he had done wrong to deserve such abuse.

He couldn’t understand, having entered the entertainment industry too young and cared too much about others’ opinions, ultimately losing control. When he woke up, another person inhabited his body—Jiang Yu.

The same Jiang Yu who had died last year, whose ashes had been scattered long ago, and whose body he never saw.

Jiang Yu never had the chance to tell Long Xingyu that people cursed him out of jealousy for his looks, wealth, and love. They lacked all three. The current criticism was nothing; it didn’t even rank in the top hundred of full-on cyberbullying.

‘Don’t take it too seriously,’ Jiang Yu thought. He had lived happily, with the exception of Yu Ruoyun, who troubled him, so he decided to trouble Yu Ruoyun in return.

The ugliest way to live was to drag on. This applied to both career and love. Their relationship was like that in the end—resentful from past and recent wrongs, dreading each other’s name. Yu Ruoyun never mentioned it, but it was Jiang Yu who repeatedly left and returned. He never had a key to Yu Ruoyun’s house, but every time he knocked, Yu Ruoyun would open the door.

Yu Ruoyun always made Jiang Yu’s unreasonable behavior look truly unreasonable. But they must have had good times. Why couldn’t he remember them now?

Jiang Yu wanted to tell Long Xingyu that the entertainment industry wasn’t a place for genuine emotions. Every heartfelt agony could become spectators’ perfect gossip, just like now, with people watching him approach Yu Ruoyun, hoping for a confrontation.

Yu Ruoyun noticed him and walked over.

“Want some water?” Yu Ruoyun handed him an unopened bottle, like a caring person delivering water.

Jiang Yu took it, glaring at Yu Ruoyun.

“Maybe I was too harsh,” Yu Ruoyun reflected, then added, “But don’t joke around like that anymore.”

Saying things like pursuing him.

“I have someone I love.” Even though he couldn’t remember who that was, at least he couldn’t continue accepting baseless affection or pursuit from this young man.

…

“What did you say?” Jiang Yu frowned, either not hearing clearly or hallucinating.

“I said…”

“You’re spouting bullshit!” Jiang Yu interrupted, snapping, not wanting to hear more. He turned and left.

The first time Jiang Yu met Yu Ruoyun, he introduced himself, “Jiang Yu, ‘yu’ as in steadfast till death*.”

*Clarity: The Yu (渝) from the idiom (至死不渝) which means will never change until death.

He might really be an illiterate idiot. It sounded passionate at first, till death without change, not noticing the negative word in it*.

*The idiom is often used in a romantic context to express undying love (like “I love you to death”) or an expression of loyalty to a country, cause, or person.

Now the name had changed.

He became the ‘redundant’ Yu*.

*Clarity: He’s now Long Xingyu, the [yu] (余) from redundant (多余).

Yu Ruoyun wouldn’t think about these things. He didn’t even remember who his so-called lover was, yet he used it as an excuse to keep Long Xingyu away. He just said he had someone he loved, as if he truly loved someone.

What is love? Is it dopamine? Hormones? Libido? A trick of the suspension bridge effect? Is it putting your name on a house? Buying a carat diamond ring? Handing over all your bank savings?

Jiang Yu had discussed such topics with Yu Ruoyun.

Of course, not seriously asking what love is. He had been reading Bible stories but lacked patience, stopping after the first few.

To Jiang Yu, Jehovah always had too much trouble. In the last story he read, Abraham’s loyalty was tested by God, demanding he sacrifice his son. And this 24k pure idiot actually complied, without questioning God.

Jiang Yu said, “I suspect he’s a delusional gay. If he were alive now, he’d be swindled out of all his money by an online lover. Only such madness can explain this love—it’s irrational and illogical.”

And he would only lose his mind over Yu Ruoyun.

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Kinky Thoughts:

Just a note, the author often switches between using Long Xingyu and Jiang Yu, which can make things extremely confusing at times, like in the chapter here. I debated whether or not to make changes to keep the consistency so it wouldn’t be too confusing, but decided against it, since I don’t want to impact the original text too much.

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